The door snicked shut when she gently let go. Jo shuffled her way across the floor picking out the furniture in what little light slipped through the curtains from the waxing moon. Stubbing her toe only once she finally made it to the bed feeling her heart climb into her throat for entirely different reasons.

There were so many rationalisations why she shouldn't have been there least of all her virtue but she suddenly found herself shy beside his bed. Trying hard not to breathe lest she make a sound Jo leaned across the bed to see if he was awake. Although his light had gone out no more than twenty-minutes earlier his eyes were closed and a gentle peace unlike anything she'd seen before on his well-known features had settled over her friend. Worried the long ends of her hair would tickle him awake just as she was having second thoughts; Jo pulled back and took a step away from the bed, twisting her hands behind her back.

It was too late to just leave but now that she was here and he looked so… well, he was not the teasing trickster, nor the serious, concerned young man or her laughing conspirator. He wasn't anything Jo recognised and she admitted to herself, wringing her hands, the desire to know this side of him was strong. It coiled in her belly, calling her heart down from its lofty heights where she felt sure it was broadcasting each thump for the naked ear to hear. She had come all this way and there was no way she was going back to her cold bed with ghostly fingers and thoughts of absent sisters.

She needed him. Jo repeated the thought in her head trying hard to forget everything else and she climbed onto the bed to lie beside him.

Laurie stirred and her heart hammered as he rolled onto his back. His eyes slipped open and she held her breath as they snapped awake in realisation that another person occupied his bed. There was one long tense minute where Jo felt the pulse of her entire being wait for him to say something and he waited to see if she was really there or some horrible trick of his dream.

"Jo?" he tried at last. She blinked back, pulling a hand under her cheek as she smiled sheepishly back. "Are you real?" he stage-whispered. Jo pulled herself onto her elbows trying not to laugh as she swatted him.

"Imagined me a lot in here, have you?" she scolded with a smile he'd rather see more of.

"You've no idea," he mumbled reaching closer to run a hand behind her ear and touch her loose hair. Jo frowned at that as expected and settled herself back down beside him, the new closeness warming her side by his. It felt right, like his arms had in the kitchen.

"What're you doing here?"

She looked at the pillow under her curled arms and he rolled onto his front looking down at her quizzically as she picked her nails.

"You were right."

Laurie's eyebrows rose at that but he said nothing.

"I don't want to be alone tonight, Teddy," she offered quietly in way of explanation. She took a shaky breath and his large warm hand found hers under the pillow. Turning over she held his hand to her lips before clutching it to her breast. He felt her heart skipping under her robe and dress and understood her contradictory behaviour a little better. She knew it the instant his eyes darkened and his thumb ran over hers.

"You-" his sentence broke under her worried gaze and he opted instead to kiss her. Leaning over her in the dark he touched his lips to hers feeling the weight of Jo's mistakes and fears behind her response. Jo's hands moved to his hair and he was not guilty for the sudden turn. She pressed her mouth hot against his, twisting her jaw higher to meet his own as he pushed her into the bed. "I'm sorry," she whispered between kisses that made her head spin. "I didn't mean – this is not – I didn't come for this," she finished at last when they broke for breath. Laurie rolled to the side again and Jo felt her lips sting in the cool air of the room as he thought he'd pushed her too hard again.

Jo curled herself to his side and Laurie turned his head to read her eyes in the sliver of moonlight that fell across the bed.

"I don't think I'll ever understand what you want from me Jo."

She wrapped an arm across his middle and squeezed.

"You say one thing and look another and then do the complete opposite!" Laurie whispered pulling at his hair as he watched the ceiling, unable to tear himself from her. Jo's brow worried against his shoulder. He sighed heavily, laying his arm over hers as he gave in, turning his neck to confess.

"I shouldn't have pushed you today." Jo buried her face against his side. "I worried myself sick when I cam home that I'd gone and lost you for good. That you would never speak to me again and I'd never be welcomed back. I've waited years, years to hold you like that and then I went and– I'm a selfish brute, Jo."

Jo pulled her head up to watch him quietly.

"And yet here you are and I know I shouldn't expect your forgiveness but something tells me you've already given it though I don't half deserve it. I really am sorry Jo. I got carried away but I should've known better than to press you – on Meg's anniversary of all days. Do you? Forgive me?"

She considered his tortured look with her bitten lip. "I thought you didn't understand me when I pushed you away." She admitted, smiling wryly as he dragged a hand through her hair. Jo rested her chin on his chest and he thought nothing had felt more natural. "But I was wrong and to save us both the confusion; I promise not to fly at you again."

"Truly?" he sounded disappointed but Jo laughed quietly turning her cheek to his breast as it rose with each breath.

"You're not wholly to blame and I know I've been needy and selfish," she traced the buttons of his shirt unaware of the effect she was causing. "I haven't been very good to you, my boy, since… the babies. I know you've waited for your say but I ask you to wait a little longer. There are already two birthdays and one death to this day in May."

Laurie was silent but Jo could feel the pound of his heart under her palm and he pulled her closer kissing the crown of her head as he had so many years ago.

"It's easy enough to be perfectly happy with all that I have right here, my Jo." He kissed her again and she closed her eyes. "Now, go to sleep."