Losing Pain

Chapter Fifteen

"Draco, wake up." Harry whispered to the blonde who was sleeping next to him. It had been two months since Harry had told Draco most of his past. Just the day before, Draco had finally decided to move in with his Gryffindor. At the moment, he had his arms holding the raven haired boy tightly against his bare chest. "Draco, I want to talk to you."

"It's early." The blonde mumbled, keeping his eyes closed. "We can talk later."

"I think I'm ready to tell you the rest." Harry said.

This got Draco to open his eyes and look at Harry's emerald ones. "Are you sure?"

Harry unhooked himself from Draco's arms and sat up properly. He looked down at the bare chested Draco, memorizing every inch of him. He didn't want to forget the one perfect part of his life if Draco ever did decide to leave him. "Yes. I'm ready to finish it."

Draco sat up as well and took both of Harry's hands, holding them tightly.

Harry took a deep breath before he continued. "Snorting the dragon scales and unicorn blood was making life go perfectly again until I started having these weird dreams. After one of them, I was able to save Ron's father, but that had only been barely. Then, I started to realize that more than half of them weren't making any sense. Later on, I figured out that the drugs I was doing were screwing them all up. That's how my godfather ended up dying. The only things I saw in the dream were Sirius unconscious and the door to the Department of Mysteries. Now, when I think back to that dream, I remember seeing Sirius, but he was sleeping in a bed. The door had been in a completely different dream, but I had added it to the one I had been having, making me think something was wrong.

"During the summer, I couldn't stop thinking about what I had done. I had been the one to cause Sirius's death. I couldn't help but become depressed. Living with the Dursley's didn't help at all so I moved in with Heather. I didn't do anymore hard drugs and I stopped snorting the wizard drug as well. Withdrawal symptoms I'd never had before consumed me. Most of the time I found myself passed out on Heather's couch. Heather got annoyed that I was never awake to help her sell drugs so she kicked me out. I was left on the streets until the school year. It was probably the worst time of my life. Not once did I use any drug, but I was so close to death half the time that I went to desperate measures. I went to the wizarding black market."

"Even my father has never been there." Draco told me. There was fear in his eyes.

"There I bought a wand that hadn't been licensed from this man from India. I also met a few people who offered to let me stay with them. Most of them are very hospitable. I decided to stay with this old woman who looked the most trustworthy. She helped me get back to my normal self, and taught me a few tricks she had learned during her lifetime. In return I helped her sell things and did anything she asked. It was the least I could do. When I was finally cured completely, I went back to the Dursleys only a few days before I'd have to leave for school. Apparently, Dumbledore hadn't known where I was because he sent my school letter to them. I stayed with my aunt, uncle, and cousin for the remainder of the summer."

"I'm sorry about that year." Draco said as he pushed aside a strand of hair that had fell in front of Harry's eye. Then he gave him a light kiss on the forehead. "I was beyond horrible to you."

Harry smiled and placed his palm against Draco's cheek. "That's in the past now. I've long forgiven you for that."

Draco nodded, took the hand that was against his cheek, and kissed its fingers.

Harry shivered at the action, but then went back to his story, letting Draco keep kissing his hand. "After my stay in the black market, I learned to stay away from drugs. Everyone was still trying to get publicity through me. I was getting more annoyed by the second. At one point, I couldn't take it anymore so I skipped classes and headed to Hogsmede. I spent all day at a bar even less known than the Hogs Head. There I just drank. It started with pumpkin juice, then went to firewhiskey, but in the end I caved and took to the hard liquor. I wasn't caring anymore."

"But, when did you start cutting?" Draco stopped kissing the boy's hand to ask. He was always curious about the answer.

"It was only weeks after that first day I cut classes." For some reason, Harry laughed. "For my whole life, I've always hated the scar that Voldemort gave me. Now that I think about it, it's a little ironic that I end up scarring myself."

Draco didn't comment on what Harry said. Instead he went ahead and asked another question, this time a little more cautiously. "When did you stop eating?"

Harry looked at Draco with his emerald eyes wide and full of tears. This was the one thing he was hoping he'd never have to answer.

A/N: After reading this one over, I've decided that this is probably one of the worst chapters of this story. I tried my best, but I just couldn't figure out any other way to reveal the rest of Harry's past. Knowing me I was probably just thinking about it too hard. But I can't keep complaining about that because I still have to thank you for ignoring the fact that it sucked and for reading it. Thanks!