A/N So here's the next chapter. A bit...strange, I have to say. Even for me. But I had fun making up my eccentric maybe-evil-but-maybe-not character. I send much love and great thanks to my reviewers, especially Xbakiyalo, WeepingAngel123 and HermitsUnited. But that does not mean I have forgotten my anonymous reviewers! This chapter tells all, Becky! O.K, maybe not all, but some. And if Lena is still reading, thank you as well.

"COMMENCING SCAN."

"HUMAN, FEMALE, 26 FEDAS OLD. ORIGIN: SOL 3."

"Ah, good! Very good! Splenderifous! And her friend?"

"SPECIES: UNKNOWN, MALE, AGE:UNKNOWN, ORIGIN:UNKNOWN."

"Poor. Very poor. Disgracyful. Find out!"

"NOT RELEVANT. HE WILL PERISH BECAUSE OF THE HIDDEN ONES. AND THEN WE WILL PERISH THEM!"

"Splenderifous. Fantasticulo. You are too good to me, Computer."

"I AM ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE AND YOU ARE MY MASTER. I OBEY."

"Quite, quite. Now, what shall we do with her?"

"Rose? ROSE! Great. Just great. Looks like this is a job for my sonic screwdriver. Trace that transmat, teleport beamy thing. Another technical term for my Doctor dictionary. Wait a minute, who am I talking to? Not myself, because that would be insane. I am talking to...you, my sonic screwdriver. I think losing Rose again has made me slightly delirous. Oh well, happens all the time...nothing to worry about...and...oh. "

The Doctor stared out. He was surrounded by streams of white. The Vanishing.

"But you don't have transmat technology. You don't need it. You just go where life takes you. Just drift about. Hunt wherever you happen to smack into. You weren't the ones who took Rose. So who did? And why did they take her?"

"Ooh, my head."

Rose found herself in a huge room...a control room...with panels of buttons and big screen built into the wall. Computer flashed its screen at her in way of greeting.

"Ah, you are awake. Splenderifous!"

He looked nearly normal. Humanoid, mid twenties. Dark hair...but his eyes were orange. And Rose guessed it wasn't due to contact lenses.

"Who are you and splender-what?"

"Splenderifous. It's my word. And I am no-one. Who are you?"

"What do you mean you're no-one? And if you've...decided to kidnap me...didn't you think it was a good idea to find out who I was first?"

"What is this "kidnap"? A human term? You have so many great terms..."

"It means forcibly snatching someone!"

"I see. But you're lucky! Your friend down there is going to be eaten by the Hidden Ones."

"The monsters in the mist? Well then, get him out!"

"Terribly sorry. No can do!"

"DO IT! NOW!"

"This isn't right. I'm the "kidnap"...er and you're the "kidnap" ee! You do what I say!" he seemed genuinely confused by Rose's frantic orders.

"No, I don't! Get him out!"

"Just one last thing...before you, you know feast. Don't attack a man with a sonic screwdriver!"

The Doctor blazed a path through the mist. The things seemed to recoil from the attack.

"That was way too easy," he frowned. But then his face cleared. "Never mind, I'm not complaining. Right, bye, then! I will stop you, by the way. And don't doubt it."

He dashed along the path, away from the sea. The waves were crashing heavily. All the Doctor needed was for the sonic screwdriver to find the co-ordinates Rose had been transmatted to. And then follow in the TARDIS. Which was parked about a mile away. And then find out what the hell was going on.

"Is that all?" he asked the screwdriver. It did not reply.

"He's probably gone now. Doesn't take them long to polish things off, right Computer?"

"CORRECT."

"Computer, meet the human!"

"Rose. My name's Rose. And the Doctor will have escaped. He always escapes. Who are you?" she half believed he had escaped, but was half trying to convince herself.

"That's the thing, you see. I don't know. "

"What?!"

"I-DON'T- KNOW! I know not. I have no clue. ME NO KNOW!" he screamed, his frustration unleashed in a torrent of the "human terms" he loved so much.

A/N I said it was weird. Is it too weird, people? Tell me please! Review!