Spoilers: Up to 'The Rhodes Not Taken' with tiny references to a few of the spoiler videos.

Disclaimer: See first part.

Notes: Part 4 featuring Mike Chang, who I really hope has a line or two in the next ep. Who else has watched the boys mash up a million times? Finn's spazzy dancing is made of awesome. Chapter title from 'Why Don't We Do It In the Road.'

iv. No one will be watching us

A few weeks ago Mr. Schuester had called a meeting to figure out travel arrangements for out of town meets. Principal Figgins had refused to cough up the cash for a bus so the club members had to decide who would drive and permission slips had to be signed by all parents. Quinn, Rachel and Kurt were the only club members with what could be considered 'reliable' vehicles suitable to travel distances and Artie's mom was drafted as well, since her van had the stuff necessary for Artie's wheelchair.

Mr. Schuester had laid two rules. The first rule: each car had to contain at least one: original Gleek, Cheerio/member of the football team and chaperone.

Mr. Shue was all about team unity. Puck expected trust falls at some point in the future.

That had led to today. Puck was sitting in back seat of Rachel's Prius with Miss Pillsbury. Rachel was driving, with Tina C. riding shotgun. Tina was apparently one of those people who fell asleep as soon as they hit an open stretch of road.

It wasn't all that bad, actually (shockingly). Rachel had been surprisingly willing to compromise on music selection, they were switching between her iPod and his, due to what she claimed was 'a desire to be educated in all musical genres to prepare for her future endeavors.' He even had plenty of leg room sitting behind her.

The car was freakishly clean, though. He suspected that may have been largely for Miss Pillsbury's benefit, and then partly because Rachel was an anal control freak.

Finn was driving Quinn's car with Mr. Schue and his loony wife. Puck was glad he wasn't riding with them. He found being around Finn and Quinn super awkward and avoided it as much as possible. Finn had been too preoccupied to really notice and Puck was grateful.

Artie's mom was driving her van with Artie, Matt and Mike in it. She had kindly supplied Tupperware containers of cookies for each car. Puck had taken custody of them and was probably not going to share.

Kurt was driving his recently repaired sweet Navigator. Puck so lusted after that ride which, in his expert opinion, was epically wasted on Kurt Hummel. Kurt had Mercedes, Brittany, and Santana riding with him, chaperoned by Santana's mother. Kurt had put together a special playlist for the ride. Likely heavy on the Beyonce.

Several of the team member's parents were driving out early tomorrow morning. Rachel's dads, Finn's mom and his mom were carpooling. They'd really hit it off at that victory party last month. Again, weird. They could be best buds all they wanted as long as he and Rachel were kept out of it.

A couple of nights ago Puck had dreamed about a camping trip featuring Rachel, her dad's, him and his mom. They'd been water skiing. It had been highly disturbing. He tried not to think about it.

Mr. Schue's second rule was that they were required to stay within sight of the other vehicles, in a caravan, in a specified order. Finn and Mr. Schue were in the lead and were so strictly obeying all traffic laws that even Rachel, little miss perfect, was getting irritated.

Rachel let out another annoyed sigh. "Finn drives like my Grandma Opal. And she's severely arthritic."

Miss Pillsbury was flipping through an Us Weekly. "It's natural for a new father to be overprotective. Finn and Will... Mr. Schuester are just being cautious for the sake of their progeny. We'll get there in plenty of time to check in Rachel, don't worry."

"Cars are passing us, Miss Pillsbury. Completely ignoring the flow of traffic is just as dangerous as speeding." Rachel argued and reached for her cell phone in the center console.

"No cell while your driving, Rachel," Miss Pillsbury admonished.

"Ugh. Please, I'll just dial and put it on speaker. My eyes will stay on the road. I multi-task impeccably."

"Absolutely not. Recent studies into reaction times and cell phone usage are very clear about the dangers."

She squirmed in her seat. Clearly wanting to argue further but unable to do so because of her need to be an all out suck up.

"Just pass them," Puck spoke up.

"I can't just pass them. In Mr. Schuester's diagram I was very clearly labeled 'Car B.'"

"So?"

"So you want me to just ignore the diagram? Diagrams are important, Puck."

"Live a little, Berry," he said in a tone that he most often utilized while hitting on cougars.

Miss Pillsbury gave him a sideways glance.

Rachel was apparently unaffected. "I can't. Mr. Shuester said..."

Puck shushed her and pulled out his own phone, flipping it open. He put it on speaker and called Mike.

In lieu of 'hello' Mike answered with, "Dude, I'm going to be fucking ancient by the time we make it to Dayton. Sorry, Mrs. Abrams. Frickin' ancient."

"That's why I'm calling. I'm trying to convince Berry to nut up and take the lead."

"Berry, I'm begging you. Do it. For me and my sweet, sweet, yet to be properly wasted, youth."

Rachel wavered. Mike hadn't often been directly included in the football players' hazing of the Glee kids and so she'd accepted him into the club fairly easily. Especially after she'd seen him dance. "I can't. The guidelines for this trip were very clearly established..."

Puck interrupted her before she could really start running her mouth. "Come on, what's the worst that could happen? He needs all twelve of us to qualify, remember?"

"But…"

"We'll totally tell Mr. Shue that I made you do it."

"Do it!" Matt repeated.

Sometime during the conversation Tina had woken up and had gotten a hold of Mercedes on her cell, also on speaker.

"Is pretty boy sleeping at the wheel? I could run to Dayton faster than this and I ain't a runner."

"We want Rachel to p-p-pass them."

"I've been trying to talk Kurt into it too, but you know how he is about his baby."

"C'mon Rachel," Puck wheedled. He thinks this might be the first time he's used her first name to her face.

"Rachel," Tina echoes.

"Rachel, Rachel," Matt begins to chant and Puck can hear Mike and Artie join in.

"Guys, I don't think peer pressure is the answer," Miss Pillsbury begins weakly.

"Miss P. how many germs do you think are circulating through this car right now?"

Miss Pillsbury offers no further objections.

Mercedes, Santana and Brittney had joined the refrain.

"Just put your foot on the gas and do it, Rachel. You know you want to."

"Rachel, Rachel, Rachel," Tina and Puck chanted along with those on the phone.

"Diva, you're our only hope!" Mercedes yelled.

"Fine. Fine! But if Mr. Schuester punishes me for this, I will not be held responsible for my actions, Puckerman."

"Deal."

Rachel sped up, not even a lot, and easily passed Quinn's car, with Finn hunched over in the driver's seat. Puck waved cheerfully as they passed. Artie's mom and Kurt followed suit putting Mr. Schue's group in the rear, where they'd have to speed up or risk being left behind.

"Woo! You're my h-h-hero!"

"I really didn't think you'd do it," Puck admitted.

Rachel giggled, "Neither did I. Someday I may be asked to portray a rebellious teenager. I'm glad I'll have a reference."

Puck rolled his eyes. But he shared the cookies.

When Miss Pillsbury's phone rang, she sent it straight to voicemail.