Disclaimer: Still no ownership on my behalf.
Author's Notes: Dr. Cockroach 1st person - POV, A take on his first day in Area fif-*BLOCKED*
There is a loud, red alarm blaring above me. I swear, I need to invent sound blockers or something, or maybe a coclear filter.
Ugh, my head hurts. Eh? Wait... Where am I?
Hmm... Last thing I remember was finishing up an experiment in my lab and then-
Huh?
And then...
Then...
Ah! It's no use, I can't recall anything past that point.
Had the Russians discovered my research and now have kidnapped me?
Are they going to co-erse me into building their devilish weapons or just kill me and take over my research?
I forbid it! *cloink*
Ow...
Apparently my containment quarters are smaller than I calculated.
*Pace, pace*
Aha! That's it! I must escape! I'll show these northern vodka-loving barbarians what a true British mad-scientist is capable of!
Let's see what I have at my disposal. Foolish Russians, leaving me with my loyal lab coat and accompanying tools!
...Huh?
...Ok, I may have overestamated their higher reasoning skills for it seems I have been picked dry-
Aha!
MUHAHAHAHAHA!
They haven't stopped me yet! For I have...
My...notepad?
Ha HA! And my loyal pencil! They cannot foil the power of note taking!
Hmm... What else do I have here?
*Rumage, rumage*
I have-!
...Some...pocket lint.
Eh?
*Sniff*
Hmm... Is it my imagination...? Or...
*Sniff*
Why does this lint suddenly seem...appetizing?
*Eats*
Heh... That's it! The trials and hardship of being a prisoner-of-war has driven me to the despiration and delirium that anything may be perserved as food! That must be it. Well no matter, that just shows you you can't bring me down with the withholding of basic edible suppliments. FOR I CAN MAKE MY OWN! MUHAHAHAHAHA!
Ahem.
The only other two items I have left is this paper clip and... a dented aluminium can?
Oh right, I had a soda for lunch yesterday.
Wait.
Waaaaait.
AHA! I GOT IT! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*Some time later*
Now I just stimulate the friction from my woolen socks to the base aluminium and routing paperclip point I can make a shockwave large enough to break my holding door!
3...
2...
1...
FIRE!!
*BOOM!*
"What the heck are you doing man?!"
"Oh! Ah... Gu...tan ...morgen?"
"What? Speak english! I'm not German!"
"Exactly! Because you're Russian! ...Right?"
"Um... No. I'm General Monger. Welcome to Area-er... The Unitied States of America."
"America!? So you're not a spy?"
"What makes you think I'm a spy!?"
"Why are you holding me captive then?!"
"You don't remember last night at all do you?"
"Ah... No."
"Your experiment? Your rampage through town?"
"Hmmm... It's something of a blur..."
"Well anyway, this is your new home now. Can you please return to...what's left of your quarters. Your orientation isn't for another two hours."
"Oh alright."
"How did you do *that*!? I thought we stripped you of any hazardous devices."
"You left me some alumium and bendable metal."
"...Your garbage."
"Yes."
" *Whisles* Woo-wee that was something."
"Thank you."
"...Don't do it again."
"Aw. Hey, may I possibily make a tiny request?"
"Shoot."
"...May I please have some new socks?"