Kirsten may have put the brakes on the Sandy and Seth's brilliant fostering plan but that doesn't mean Sandy has forgotten about Ryan. The child's voice haunts his dreams hysterically explaining that he is worthless and apologizing for catching Sandy's attention. For all of Sandy's efforts he has just made the situation worse not better.
He did give Ryan's spot to Nick. He only met the kid once but the little boy's sweetness and his smile were infectious. He reminds Sandy of what Ryan might have been like a few years earlier.
"Hey Mr. Cohen wait up." Sandy turns to see Dave, the burly security guard who had been feeding Sandy and Barry information about the institution, running towards him.
"Hey Dave." Sandy offers with a tired smile. He's not sure how much more heartbreak he can take today.
"Mr Cohen I got some information for you." Tiredly, Sandy rubs his eyes and nods.
"Thanks Dave but I've –"
"It's about Ryan." Sandy immediately stops walking into the building and urgently turns to face Dave. He hasn't been about to make contact with the boy since he had ran away in tears days earlier. Ryan had always refused to see him or had been in some form of activity. Sandy didn't by it, not with all the information he had against the institution.
Half-way through Dave's story Sandy is paled and sick. No one has seen the boy in four days. Nick was beside himself. Something was wrong.
The hallway to solitary seems even more dark and horrifying than the first time Sandy went there. It's dank and mouldy, and Sandy can't outlaw it because, technically, it's legal. Dave unlocks the door to the little room and Sandy's eyes flick around until they settle on to Ryan's shivering form.
The boy is pale, shaking and sick. He curls into the corner when he hears the door open, a heartbreaking whimper leaving escaping his lips.
"Ryan!" The volume of Sandy's voice echoes across the room creating an ominous effect. Ryan curls further into himself, frightened. Sandy's mind reels with questions. All he can hope for is that he hasn't been like this for long, sick, scared, alone.
"Ryan, buddy it's Sandy." Ryan's eyes slide open almost involuntarily at the intrusion of Sandy's hand in his hair. His forehead is warm, too warm. In the background Sandy can hear Dave calling the paramedics. Sandy jolts forward as Ryan's eyes drift close again.
"Ryan, Ryan! Kid I need you to stay awake for me ok." Ryan reluctantly looks back to Sandy who smiles reassuringly.
"That's it you're doing great. Can you tell me what hurts?" Sandy's fingers hover uncertainly over Ryan's prone body, wanting to offer relief but not make the situation worse.
"Stomach." Ryan's words are terse, pain-filled, and so scared. The looks in his eye is skittish, he's not sure if he can trust Sandy, not with this.
"Alright you're going to be ok. I'm going to take a little look alright?" The whole situation is making Sandy freak out but he s fighting to stay calm. Ryan needs someone steady, solid. As gently as possible Sandy eases the blanket off, swallowing hard when he sees a swollen bruised abdomen, obviously kicked and stepped on.
"Oh kid." Sandy whispers in horrified fascination. Ryan looks at him for a moment than swallows hard in pain, letting his head fall to the ground as tears fall to his eyes.
"You're gonna be alright now I promise." Ryan seems to be just registering he is in pain his hands clenched in desperate fists. Desperate to do something, anything to relieve the boy's anguish Sandy uncurls one of Ryan's fists and slips his hand in to Ryan's sweaty, shaking one.
"Hurts." Ryan whispers looking in to Sandy's eyes pleadingly. The simple word penetrates somewhere deep into Sandy's heart.
"I know sweetheart." His reply is quickly cut off by the entrance of paramedics and moments later Sandy is shoved in an ambulance, holding Ryan's hand and whispering platitudes he wasn't sure he believed.
A few hours later Kirsten is uncertainly walking through the broad double doors of the paediatric wing her heels clicking intrusively on the linoleum. She's not 100% sure why she's here in the first place. Two hours ago she got a semi-hysterical phone call from Sandy about Ryan being hurt and sick. Her husband's attachment to the little boy crossed the careful personal/professional line Sandy always managed to implement when we works with children. This child has broken through every single one of Sandy's walls and Kirsten knows her husband will be devastated if anything bad happens.
The Chino paediatric wing is small and she strides around the halls with false certainty until she finds her husband, slumped on a waiting room chair holding the pale hand of a little boy. Even though Kirsten knew that Ryan's life wasn't all sunshine and roses she can't help but be abruptly shocked at how sick he looks. There are multiple IVs running through him and one of those annoying nose breather tubes that always reminded Kirsten of her mother when she died. Kirsten shakes that thought and tentatively enters the room.
"Sandy?" Sandy looks up at her with tired eyes and rumbled suit that has a blood stain on the side. If she thought Ryan looked bad Sandy looks like hell.
"Kirsten?" The surprise in his voice is evident as he comes up and hugs her. "What are you doing here?" Good question.
"You sounded like you could use some moral support." Kirsten replies with a small shrug. She hadn't heard Sandy sound so distraught since Seth broke his arm skateboarding.
"How is he?" Kirsten continues after a lame silence. Truthfully when she initially came to the hospital it had been in single-minded concern for her husband. Ryan was still an idea, a symbol for her husband's bleeding heart politics. But it's impossible to see someone so young so hurt and be ambivalent. Sandy sighs and rubs his face.
"Malnourished, dehydrated, blood loss and has the flu on top of that." Sandy rubs a thumb over Ryan's hand as he talks as if that simple motion could cure the illnesses. Sandy yawns and Kirsten can hear is stomach rumble and she suddenly remembers what she's here to do.
"Sandy, honey, get something to eat, buy a new shirt and splash some water on your face." Sandy opens his mouth to protest but Kirsten quickly cuts him off.
"My guess is that Ryan is going to need you to have your game face on when he wakes up." She's about to add that he looks like a worried parent but Kirsten doesn't want to touch that sensitive area.
"Go on I'll stay with him." Reluctantly Sandy releases the boy's hand.
Kirsten regrets her decision to tell Sandy to leave almost instantly. She doesn't know this boy, doesn't have any connection to him. It feels almost like a violation of his privacy to meet him when he's like this. The boy's face contorts slightly in discomfort, maybe he senses Sandy is no longer there, maybe he's frightened. Quietly Kirsten calls for a nurse.
"He's asleep not sedated." The nurse says with a chipper voice. "Talk to him. A familiar voice will be a comfort." Kirsten tries not to laugh at that, a familiar voice. It's not her voice he's craving, her touch will bring him no comfort.
Kirsten sits beside him trying to look past the injuries. He's handsome in a scruffy sort of way, too thin but more muscular than Seth. His arms are dotted with scars, some jagged, some smooth and circular. Before she can stop herself she is delicately tracing the line of a tiny, puffy scar. The feel of the marred flesh takes her breath away. Touch is such an intimate sense. The moment that she touches his arm he is no longer R. ATWOOD, Sandy's bleeding heart obsession he is Ryan Atwood, a living breathing human being, a child.
Slowly Kirsten trails her finger down to his hand smiling slightly when the hand curls slightly around hers. Feeling a pair of eyes on her she turns to where Sandy is standing in the doorframe looking slightly bemused.
"He was restless." Kirsten says defensively almost leaping out of the chair. Sandy's lips quirk into a smile before he kisses her on the cheek.
"The doctor's said he should be waking up soon." Sandy whispers softly, running a hand through the dirty blonde hair.
"He should be good to go then which is good. Kid hates hospitals." Kirsten nods slowly looking at Ryan's shuttered eyes. She wondered if he was blue eyed, it seemed like it from his pale complexion but one could never tell.
"Where's he gonna go?" Sandy shrugs almost pathetically taking Ryan's hand back in his.
"Back to McClellan I guess, maybe the social worker can find him a group home." Kirsten expected Sandy to be on the phone with every contact he had begging them to take the boy in. Surely there was something better out there.
"Back? But that's where he got hurt in the first place." It is like every flaw in the system is exemplified in this little boy. Sandy looks up sadly at Kirsten's words.
"Yeah I know but there's nowhere else for him to go right?" Sandy gives her a piercing look, testing her. Kirsten swallows hard looking back to Ryan's broken form.
"Right." Sandy gives a disappointed huff and mentions something about a doctor. Kirsten knows he just needs time away from her she should probably leave. Ryan suddenly swifts in the hospital bed an uncomfortable groan escaping his lips. Kirsten realizes with a start that he's waking up and looks desperately around for Sandy who is off moping. Summoning her strength and her best mom voice Kirsten determinedly sits on the edge of the bed and softly rests a hand on his shoulder.
"Ryan?" His long eyelashes flutter briefly against his cheeks.
"Wake up Ryan." The eyelids flutter open to reveal piercing blue eyes, dull with pain, exhaustion and drugs but still curious, awake.
"Mrs. Cohen?" Ryan's voice is worn out from something, Kirsten vaguely wonders if it was screaming, and his eyes are swimming with confusion and sadness. He's so young.
"Nice to meet you Ryan." Kirsten replies with a warm smile trying to cover her own uncertainty.
"Sandy's just ran out to the washroom he'll be back in a moment." Ryan nods hazily not quite sure what is going on and obviously exhausted. When Ryan imagined meeting Kirsten he imagined sounding smart and funny, a good kid like her son. The last thing from his mind was her seeing him disgusting and beat-up in a hospital bed. The thought alone makes his face redden.
"Oh." Kirsten smiles suddenly more comfortable seeing his anxiety.
"Get some sleep honey everything's ok." Ryan manages a half-nod trying to fight against his heavy eyelids. After a moment his mouth is agape and a soft snore is accompanying him. Momentarily forgetting herself Kirsten lets her hand rest on his soft cheek. She's about to pull away when his head unconsciously lolls over, pinning her hand to the bed. The unexpected intimacy of the gesture takes Kirsten by surprise but she makes no effort to free her hand.
"The weekend." Kirsten finally says with determination when Sandy comes back in. Disbelieving Sandy gives her a look of confusion.
"He can stay the weekend."
Hey everyone sorry I haven't been writing it's been a crazy couple months I'm going to catch up on all my stories though my Young Ryan muse seems to be off eating cupcakes so that might be the last one.
Hope you all are well and hope that you didn't take any lack of updating personally
as always please leave any REVIEWS you may have. Flames are always welcome.