all that jazz
theme 20: making mischief
Unsurprisingly, Elena was afraid of spiders.
"Somebody? Anybody! Help me!" She called, panic rising with every word she spoke. "Rude? … Reno?"
"What is it, 'Laney?" Reno replied, in another room, slightly miffed that he came second in seeking help. Scowling, he raked his hand through unkempt hair.
"There's a… a…" Her voice faltered, squirming as she even said the word, lowering into a whisper. "… spider."
"Oh yeah?" His lips curled, amused by this. "The big bad Turk Elena is afraid of an itty bitty spider?"
"Mm…" Like a child, the blonde Turk was slow to admit it. "They're so… creepy."
A scream followed, high pitched. Hers, naturally. Then, a concession of thrown objects happened next, which crashed into the wall, the obvious target missed; with a stream of insults aimed at the creepy spider.
"Kill it! Kill it! Kill the eight-legged demonic demon that's hell spawn!"
"… 'Laney." Reno bit back a laugh, amused by her vernacular. "Chill."
Bang! Bang! Bang!
The screaming, Reno could handle; the bullets, the walls could not.
"Hey, 'Lena, you fire that gun one more time – and it's coming out of your pay check."
The trial of killing a spider using a gun promptly stopped.
"Okay… take a deep breath, and listen to me…" Reno calmly said, pulling his EMR.
Better to come in looking like the whole business is serious, than flippantly brushing her off and act if the whole thing is a joke.
Well. If he didn't want to pay for reparations, that is.
"Is it… gone?"
"No, 'Laney. I trapped it with this glass. Look. Open your eyes. And stop clinging to Spuhluka."
"… why didn't you electrocute it and give it a painful death?"
Sigh.
"Elena. We have to treat animals with respect. You want me to electrocute an innocent chocobo?"
"No!"
"Good. Listen, spiders are nothing more than octopi that can't swim, and are taken out of water."
"… but what about Daddy Longlegs?"
"Crane flies? Well… they're more like octopi that have traded the ability to fly instead of swim."
"That doesn't sound so scary…"
"Right, which is why I'm throwing this bugger out the window."
"What did you do that for?"
"Elena. Courtesy can only last for so long."
"… why'd you do it, Reno?" Rude sighed as he drank another cup of tea, receiving the information when Elena had chattered on about the PHS. It took quite a while to recover from Elena-caused-migraines. "I know it was you; so don't even bother trying to deny it."
"What can I say, you know me too well." Reno grinned.
Then his expression sobered, strangely vengeful.
"Nobody face-paints me when I'm asleep and gets away with it."
Ah. Perhaps he shouldn't tell Reno that he did it, not Elena.