Big thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. Seeing that so many people are enjoying the story so much and giving such great, insightful reviews made me happy dance - and I'm not the happy dance type.

Another big thanks to Sunfeathers for starting a thread for Tainted Love over on the Twilighted forums. Check it out in the AU-Human forum. (http: // www . twilighted . net / ?f=44&t=3896) I'm thinking it may be fun to leave teasers and previews there. Plus, I would love to get a chance to really get to read everyone's thoughts.

No worries peeps. I would never change this from a Bella/Edward story. Although Alex Meraz (Paul in New Moon) is one yummy piece of man meat, I can't turn my back on Edward. (Unless it is for him to bend me over and…um…forget it)

Disclaimer - Twilight is not mine.

EPOV

I don't even know where to start. Four and a half years ago, if you would have asked me if I was happy with my life, I would have said "of course" after scoffing and rolling my eyes. Now, I'm not sure what my answer would be. There are days when I think I am happy, but then I realize if I only think it and am not positive, does that mean I'm not happy at all.

Four and a half years ago, I was graduating college and trying to figure out what I wanted to do. With a degree in Biology from University of Washington, I was expected to go to Medical School, like all of the other men in my family. My brother was the golden child and I was tired of being compared to him. It was during dinner with my family on the night of my graduation that I realized I was fed up with standing in big brother's shadow. It was time for me to figure something else out.

I happened upon the teaching position at Forks High School by chance. Call it fate. Call it destiny. Call it selling my soul to the devil. I thought it would be a perfect thing to do while I figured my future out. Teaching Biology seemed easy for me since I was a Biology tutor at UW.

It was 4 years, 4 months, 6 days, and 13 hours ago that I first saw Bella. Not that I am keeping track. Since then, I have seen her every night in my dreams - so, about 1,589 dreams of Bella. I was lucky enough to have a few months with her to soak up her beauty and essence. What started out as an overwhelming lust turned into what can only be called an all-consuming love, at least on my part.

I admit to being quite possessive and having days that I had to force myself to not kill the male students of the high school as they spoke ill of Bella - and by ill I mean how much they wanted to fuck her. There were also days when I almost trembled with withdrawal-like shakes at the thought of spending an entire day without her by my side. At one point, I even thought about finding a way to shrink her and keep her in my pocket all day.

Love.

That's what I felt for her. I think I was in love with her from the moment I saw her, but I know for a fact, that I fell completely in love with her the day we talked at the coffee shop. The day that changed the dynamic of our relationship forever. It's a day I will never regret and I have thanked Tanya over and over again for going to Bella and asking her to meet me. I was able to spend a little over 2 months with the love of my life.

Sadly, we both became blinded by our feelings for each other and made some stupid mistakes. I will forever hate myself for ruining the best thing that could ever happen to me.

I was pulled away from my walk down Depressing Thoughts Lane when I heard my phone ringing.

"Hello?" I answered without looking at the caller ID.

"Hey man. Finished unpacking?" My brother spoke from the other end of the line.

"Just about. I got a little side-tracked by my thoughts." I sighed.

"Well, this is a new start. And you can finally finish what you started." My brother was the biggest reason I decided to move to New York and try to move on with my life. He was the one who supported me when I made up my mind to take my MCAT and apply for medical school. NYU accepted me and I moved as quickly as possible.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm exhausted, though." I slumped down onto my sofa. "I met up with my friend, Paul, from UW and we were up late catching up last night, or I guess I should say early this morning."

"That's good. At least you now know two people here." He chuckled.

"True. Was there a reason you called?" I questioned, wanting to get off the phone and take a nap.

"Yes. This is going to sound so pathetic, but can you go shopping with me to find something to wear to a date I have tonight?" I choked back a laugh at his question.

"Uh. Sure." I chuckled. "Did you want to go get a mani/pedi afterwards? Maybe get bikini waxes while we grow pussies and discuss the latest celebrity gossip?" He huffed.

"I knew this was a mistake. I'm just nervous as shit." He sighed.

"Fine. Calm down Carlisle. Tell me where and I'll meet up with you. I have to meet Paul at some coffee shop no later than 3, though." We made plans to meet up in an hour to begin shopping for his date outfit, so I hung up, got up from the sofa and made the trek to my bedroom to get dressed.

I was looking forward to quizzing him all about this date. He actually seemed nervous, and he was the poster child for confidence, so I was excited to see him so unsure about something.

I left my apartment a half hour later and quickly grabbed a taxi. I brought my car with me when I moved to NYC, but hated trying to navigate in the city. It was frustrating and the lack of speed really got to me, so taxis became my preferred mode of transportation for the time being.

When I arrived at the shop, I found a nervous Carlisle pacing back and forth in front of the door. The sales people were watching him in the mirror and I could tell them were wondering if they needed to be concerned for his mental health. In fact, if I didn't know he was a therapist, I would be with them calling the men in white coats to take him away.

"Carlisle. Dude. What the fuck is wrong with you?" I called to him as I threw some money at the cab driver. His head snapped up at the sound of my voice.

"Edward. Man. I'm freaking out here." He threw his hands up in exasperation. I chuckled.

"You don't say." I said sarcastically, shaking my head. I placed a hand on his shoulder. "Come on. Let's go pick out a panty-dropping outfit for you and you can tell me all about the date that is making Mr Confident act like…well, this." I said while waving my hands toward him. We made our way into the store and I smiled at the sales people to assure them that Carlisle wasn't crazy.

As we looked through the racks of clothes and asked a few sales women to pull out some outfit ideas, I watched Carlisle's hands shake. It was such a humorous sight to behold that I wanted to take a picture and keep it with me for moments I needed a laugh. But, I chose to be a good brother and ask him about what was doing crazy things to him.

"So, want to tell me about this date now?" Carlisle looked at me startled at my question. "I'm just wondering why you are acting like an addict needing their next fix."

"Edward. This date could be the most important night of my life." He sighed and completely turned to face me. "Her name is Esme. She is absolutely perfect. I have been working up the courage to ask her on a date for 2 years." He paused when he saw my wide-eyed expression. I was speechless. This was Carlisle. Nothing stressed him…nothing made him nervous…This Esme must be something special. He continued with his story.

"I know it is so strange for me to wait that long to ask her on a date, but there were other circumstances other than my nerves." He lowered his voice as he spoke the next part. "She was a patient of mine." He watched my reaction to this news and I am sure he was surprised when I didn't begin to lecture him. Who was I to say anything about what was right in wrong in a relationship? I was a teacher who had a relationship with a student. No lecture coming from me.

"Listen, Carlisle. I think you are smart enough to know if this is the right thing to do. It is quite obvious you are head over heels for the woman, so I wish you luck." I turned to the ties I was attempting to match with the shirt I picked out. "Just calm the fuck down and enjoy yourself tonight. Sounds like you deserve it for waiting so long." I smirked at him.

Thanks to the helpful sales women, Carlisle was able to get what was apparently the perfect outfit for his date and I had time to take a walk and think. It seemed all I ever did these days was reflect on how things went wrong. I tried to pinpoint the moment in my life that things took their drastic turn, but could never find it.

I think the problem is that I haven't been able to move on. I purposely broke my own heart and left it shattered in pieces in a Bed and Breakfast in Port Angeles. I was surprised that night by how easy it was to break things off with Bella. At least on the surface. It was such a travesty. The only part of the whole mess that made me feel slightly okay with what I was doing was knowing Bella didn't love me.

During the two months we were together, I told her I love her a few times. Each time, she seemed to completely ignore it and never once responded. I longed to hear her tell me she loved me, but it never happened. So, when the time came for me to regrettably break things off with her, I was able to put that hurt into my statements to her. It killed me to say those things, but it was all unavoidable. I did it for her. I did it for me. I did it for Tanya. I did it for Victoria. I just didn't realize it would kill me inside.

I just wish I could get over her. The gaping hole in my chest that once housed my heart has not allowed another woman to come even remotely close to filling it. Jasper forced me to go to clubs with him to meet some girls, but they just were not Bella. For a year, I was practically a hermit. I thought about buying a house in the middle of the woods to keep people away from me, but it seemed a little too Unabomber-esque, so I squashed that idea.

I didn't realize I had luckily walked in the direction of the coffee shop until I heard Paul's loud voice calling my name. I waved at him as I approached. He let me know his friend we were meeting should already be in the café, so we entered and I excused myself to the restroom. I took my time, not really in the mood to meet the supposedly perfect woman Paul was in some weird relationship with.

Walking out, I saw Paul lounging in a large chair with a woman resting on his lap with her head on his shoulder. There was a cute little girl sitting in the same grouping making a mess with some ice cream. It was absolutely adorable and I grinned when I saw a bit make it's way to her chin.

"Well, at least she'll be the best dressed 4-year-old at preschool." I heard Paul say as the woman on his lap chuckled. Her laugh immediately choked me up a little, but I covered it by clearing my throat. This got Paul's attention, as he turned his head slightly toward me. I took a seat in the chair next to the couple and nodded at Paul.

"Hey man. I would like to introduce you to my, um, well, this is Iz, uh I mean Bella." Paul tried to introduce her, but it seemed he didn't know what to call her. I was so struck by the name that I didn't realize she was turning to look at me.

"Bella. This is my good friend, Edward." Upon hearing the name again, I looked directly at the woman, who was now fully turned in my direction.

"Edward." I whispered. I felt like the wind was knocked out of me.

"Bella." I responded breathlessly. I openly stared at the beautiful creature in front of me. My memories did not do her justice. In the four years since I have seen her, she somehow grew into the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen. I wanted to fall to my knees in front of her and tell her I was not worthy of her presence.

And it was the truth. In fact, no one was worthy of the presence of this goddess. I then realized she was perched on Paul's lap and fought with my instinct to rip his throat out and pull her from him so I could lock her in a cage and keep her for myself. It was a ridiculous thought since I threw away any rights to her I may have had four years ago.

"Do you two know each other?" Paul, the observant bastard, broke into the beginnings of my self-loathing thoughts. I wasn't sure how to respond, but Bella took that job from me and I was grateful.

"You could say that. We were acquaintances of sorts back in Forks." Bella sighed and refused to make eye contact with me. Instead, she looked to the little girl before glancing at her watch.

"Come on Rini. We need to go." She began to pull herself away from Paul and I inwardly jumped for joy that she was no longer cuddled up with him.

The little girl began to pout and narrowed her eyes at Bella. I was intrigued by their interaction and couldn't stop staring. "But Mama…" Bella cut her off.

"No. No buts. We need to go. I have to work tonight and want to nap beforehand." I smiled at her motherly tone…wait What. The. Fuck. Did that little girl call her Mama? Did I just think she had a motherly tone? Shit!

As Bella cleaned the girl, Rini, up, I found myself looking at the little girl and trying to find resemblances to me. The girl looked to be around 4, which puts the timing slightly off, but she may just look older than she really is. I tilted my head to try to find something, anything that would give me the impression the little girl was mine, but found nothing. Then again, she looked nothing like Bella. But she called her Mama.

"Iz. I thought you weren't working tonight." Paul handed Bella additional napkins to clean the ice cream off Rini's face.

"I wasn't, but Asher Roth decided to come in and has so many demands for his backstage area that I need to go and make sure we have everything." She turned to Paul and rolled her eyes. "Can you believe he demands a picture of me in his lounge? I told him that as long as he wasn't taking it to the bathroom with him, that would be fine." She smirked as Paul laughed. I chuckled, but stopped when her gaze snapped to me and she narrowed her eyes. She had apparently forgotten I was there.

"Well, I guess I'll see you later then. I'm filling in for Alec." Paul stood and gave Bella a chaste kiss before she grabbed the little girl and fled the coffee shop. I couldn't take it anymore and felt I needed answers. When Paul took his seat again, I launched into my questions.

"How long have you and Bella been dating?" I decided to go with something simple to see if I could keep my control in check and not do physical harm to one of my close friends.

"Well, we really aren't dating. She has some commitment issues that I'm helping her work on. I'm the first guy she has dated or whatever in the three years she has lived here." He shrugged.

"Did she have problems dating since she is a single mother?" I tried to ask the question as nonchalantly as possible. I was surprised when Paul laughed. "What's funny?"

"Irina is not Bella's. She's adopted." Paul explained, but it only confused me more.

"I'm confused. Explain." I couldn't wrap my head around how she adopted a child and how that relates to Paul laughing.

"Bella's roommate adopted Irina from Russia a few years ago. She calls Iz 'Mama Bella' since she is practically a second mother to the little rugrat." Paul spoke fondly of the child and I could tell he loved Bella in some way. "Listen man. Sorry for having you come all the way down here only to have her bail, but I need to get out of here too. I forgot I'm filling in at the club tonight." Paul stood again, as did I.

"No problem. I need to get out of here." It was the truth, I needed to think about the fact that Bella and I were now in the same city. With promises of meeting up again soon, we went our separate ways.

________________________________________________________________

BPOV

Well, shit on a stick.

When I turned and saw Edward sitting in the chair next to me in all of his gorgeous glory, my first urge was to jump to his lap and lick the entire right side of his body. My second urge was to punch him, twist his balls off, shove them down his throat, wait until he shits them out and then force him to eat them. But, I didn't really have time for that option and didn't think Paul would be very happy with me if I gave in to the licking urge.

So, instead I focused on Irina. I have never been more grateful for that little angel. I was so happy she was such a mess. I had a reason to ignore the fact that Edward was that close to me after all that time.

Victoria called as Irina and I were leaving the shop and we decided to meet up at the apartment. I did as I told Paul, I took a nice nap before getting up to get ready for work. I had to go in earlier than usual to make sure everything was set up for our special guest, Asher Roth.

Asher was a regular at the club, but only as a club attendee, not as a performer. I beg him every time he comes in to perform, so when he agreed to come in and do a few songs for us, I was ecstatic. Then, he sent over his list of demands. I laughed at most of it, and said absolutely not to quite a bit. But, we were able to come to a compromise and meet a few of his demands, one being that I dress as a naughty librarian for the night.

I pulled on my knee-length black pencil skirt, tight white blouse that I couldn't fully button and stocking with a seem up the back. I chose to wear by black-rimmed glasses and threw my hair up into a bun. I finished off the look with a strand of pearls and black 4-inch heels. Asher will be so proud.

The club was already busy when I arrived thanks to word getting out about our special guest of the night. I checked the lounge area and was pleased to see that it was exactly as requested, including the 14 tuna sandwiches with one slice of white bread and one slice of wheat bread, each individually wrapped in Seran wrap and place on a bed of lettuce. I rolled my eyes knowing it was just one of the strange requests Asher gave just to see what we would be able to accomplish.

I walked through the club, making sure to say hello to everyone on staff, before taking my place at the bar and watching the cage dancers for a bit. This was the first night for my two new cage dancers, Gianna and Heidi, and I was quite impressed with how well they were doing. Lucky for them, they were on my good side because they were dancing to one of my favorite songs and had everyone eating out of their hands. Please with the new additions to the staff, I decided to do a little people watching.

The rest of the night went by quickly. Asher arrived and was very happy, and a little too excited, with my outfit. His performance of La Di Da, She Don't Want a Man, and I Love College was a hit and I talked him into coming back again very soon. His parting words were that he couldn't wait to see what other naughty fantasy he could have me dress as.

I wasn't able to see Paul much since the club was packed and my poor bartenders were too busy. But, I did get to sit back and watch him work a bit. At one point, I found myself salivating and blushed as I wiped my mouth and looked around for witnesses.

Unfortunately, even with the amount of work I had to do and my hope that I could erase all other thoughts from my mind, I found myself thinking constantly of Edward. Rob Pattinson was in one of the VIP rooms celebrating his birthday and, at first glance, I thought it was Edward. When I went to check on his party to make sure they were enjoying themselves, I fought the urge to bite him to see if he tasted like Edward, since they looked so similar. Luckily, I reigned in the crazies and left the room before embarrassing myself and possibly getting the club sued.

I was walking down the hallway to my office to grab my things before leaving for the night when I felt a presence behind me. I knew, from the tingling of my skin, it was Edward and not Rob Pattinson, so I didn't bother turning to look at him. I continued on my way and hoped beyond hope that he would just leave me alone. That hope was smashed when I felt a hand grip my shoulder.

"Bella." I was startled by how close he was when I felt his breathe hit my ear as he whispered my name. I didn't respond to him. I wasn't sure what he wanted and I didn't know how I felt about being somewhat alone with him.

"What do you want?" I stood my ground and refused to turn in his direction when he gently tugged on my shoulder.

"I want to talk to you." He spoke so softly and with so much regret in his voice that I stupidly turned to look at him. What I saw made me gasp.

His once shining green eyes were dull and lifeless. I realized I didn't really look at him earlier in the day because I would have surely noticed this was not my Edward. Shit. I did it, didn't I? I called him my Edward. Fuck!

"I'm working Edward. I don't have time to talk right now." I spoke to him gently even though my mind was at war with itself. One side wanted me to yell and scream at him and tell him how much he hurt me. The other side was jumping up and down that he was touching me and wanted me to do whatever the hell he wanted if it meant he would touch me again.

"Here." He handed me a slip of paper. "That's my new phone number. Call me when you are ready to talk. We have a lot to discuss." With that, he squeezed my shoulder before turning and walking away from me.

A/N: I find it really hard to write in Edward's POV in this story, so I can almost guarantee we won't be hearing from him again. He's a little too much of a downer for me.

I know I didn't give the reason why Edward broke things off with Bella, but I hope I got across that he really didn't want to do it. It will all come out soon enough.

And since I am not typically one to read long A/Ns, I'm going to take my leave.

Peace out.