Chapter Nineteen

Release

Edward's POV

Weeks had passed since Bella left me. I thought it would be the worst possible thing to happen. It wasn't. I knew she would be better off. Jacob could give her a life I couldn't. He could be human. Phasing was something he could put off. As for me, being a vampire was something that I was stuck with for eternity. It was something I've come to terms with, but I guess I always knew, deep down, that Bella would never be able to. Even if she wanted it so badly, it would have killed her in the end.

I've been going through the motions with my family. Hunting, planning for college. I just wanted out of Forks. I know that she's still here. I can feel her. Her guard is down. I think she's trying to get me to listen to her. I haven't. Not really. I only want to know when she leaves.

From what I can see now, that'll be soon.

Rosalie spoke to her. Then Emmett. He didn't come home for a few days. When he did, he got on his knees and begged Rosalie to forgive him. She let him suffer for a few more days. Now, they're somewhere in Europe. Getting away from it all and trying to fix their relationship. I'm happy for them. At least they're trying.

She's packing. This is torture. I'm standing on the edge of town, so close to her. The closest I've been to her since that day. The change in the air we all felt when she had arrived was back again. I figured it was because she was leaving. She had all these powers, maybe that was one.

Before I could change my mind, I was at the door to her room. I didn't bother knocking. She had no need to lock it. I stepped in to the room and I saw her, laying on the bed. For a second, I thought she was dead. She is so perfectly still. A fallen statue of Aphrodite. Her eyes are shut, her chest frozen. She doesn't need to pretend to breathe when she's alone.

I step closer and I have a small feeling that she hasn't even sensed me yet. She obviously can't smell me. Of course she proves me wrong.

"I don't need to smell you, Edward. You're not exactly a quiet stalker," she said softly.

I didn't even see her lips move.

I laugh and it's the first time since I can remember. "Should have known. Did you see me coming or am I surprise?"

One eye opens, followed by the other. Her eyes are blue. A very soft blue. I'm guessing she's calm.

"I knew you were close. You coming in here is a surprise though. You're actions change a lot. It's easy to read your memories, they can't change. As for your future moves, they change before you even decide to change them."

I nod slightly, "It's not fair. Even though you've been here for so long… And how close we've been, I still can't get past all your blocks. The pointless stuff you throw around, disguising everything important."

The smile that played at her lips was almost enough to put me on my knees, "Whoever said it's pointless? Maybe the stuff I'm throwing around could lead you to exactly what you wanted?"

"I didn't see it like that. I guess I should have."

She nods, "Yes. You should have."

"So, the images of the moon? They mean what?"

"Jacob," she replies softly. "Cliché, I know. The images of the moon, lead to memories of him. From before I met him, until now."

My eyebrows almost shot off my face, "You still see him."

Shaking her head, she slid off the bed, "No. I still check on him and Bella. Making sure things are going how they should."

"Oh," my voice was barely a whisper. "How is… I haven't spoken…" Idiot. Learn how to speak.

"Fine. She's safe. The Volturi know that her path has changed. They won't bother them."

I look at her. Her eyes have turned slightly green. Envy. I remember her saying that before. I brought up Bella and it made her jealous. I can't hold back my smirk and the second it displays on my face, I feel her hand smack my cheek. The animal in my growls, "What was that for?"

"You think I'm jealous of that pathetic human?"

"Well, you are, aren't you?"

Another smack, "You are growing closer to being thrown out the window."

"If you let me in, without any stupid images, I won't have to assume."

She growls, moving closer to me, "Fine. What do you want to know?"

"How you felt. After we made--" I stop, rethinking my words. We didn't make love. "After we had sex," there. That's better.

She sighs, lifting a hand up to my cheek. She steps closer and kisses me softly. I feel warmth. As if I'm walking through fire. Then fear. Fear of losing everything. Fear of letting myself get lost in someone. Fear of dropping my guard. After the fear subsided, I felt love.

She pulls away from me and I stare at her, my eyes wide. "You thought I felt nothing. You thought it meant nothing to me. Just another game. It wasn't, Edward."

I sigh and pull her to me, kissing her. Kissing her as if I wouldn't be able to survive if I didn't. She moans softly in to my mouth. Satisfied. All of her silly blocks are falling away. I picture walls being blown apart. I see and feel everything she ever did. It's an overload and I try to adjust to it as more comes flying at me.

I almost don't notice her shredding my clothes.