They wish for him to select his crew drawing heavily from the provisionally commissioned—and soon to be officially commissioned—cadets that were aboard Enterprise during the Battle of Vulcan. He has little qualm with this, they performed admirably under exceptional circumstances. The work of reviewing and evaluating personnel files inevitably puts him in mind of the progress he and Pike had made in the initial selection of the crew of the Enterprise before that was overwritten by the emergency and they were forced to do without many of the transfers they'd been scouting. He attempts to balance some of those experienced officers with the green cadets who have already had their trial by fire.
He arrives at the personnel file marked Uhura, Nyota (Lieutenant, j.g.). They have not spoken since their last night together fifteen days ago. Nyota made quite clear her desire for what she termed a "clean break" and regardless of his own feelings on the matter, and how much he longed to remain in her company until he was no longer physically able to do so, Spock had no choice but to respect the logic of making their parting no more difficult than it had to be. He would never wish to cause her pain. The issue that necessitated their separation has been resolved, but that does not negate the arising of new complications with his unanticipated promotion. He does not know how to broach the situation, though he has thought on it since he left Pike's office hours before.
He does, however, know better than to make the same error twice.
There is no hesitation before he slots her into his nominative roster as Chief Communications Officer.
oOo
The meeting between himself and the Admiralty Board is private. Absent an audience, the trappings are yet remarkably similar to a hearing. This dais is not raised, but Spock still feels the unwelcome sensation of craning his neck to look up at them as strongly as if presently experiencing it. His recollections are more intense these days and float to the surface of his consciousness more readily. Captain Pike is not arranged with the board. Rather, he sits off to the left side of their long table, observing the proceedings.
Admiral Barnett launches into an evaluation of Spock's crew roster, which he transferred to them at 0900 that morning complete and in full. There are few alterations to the roster as a whole. Some are of minor concern, particularly in the areas of medical and tactical, though it is nothing that Spock cannot countenance. But he has also been among humans long enough to recognize the slow build towards a final position anticipated to be unacceptable. From the way that Admiral Barnett talks around it, he has some idea of what they wish for him to alter.
"Lastly, on the subject of your first officer."
Spock takes little pleasure in being right.
"I would be quite willing to proceed with any of the listed candidates should the board wish to offer a recommendation," Spock offers. It is not a concession. All three candidates are fine officers and highly likely to immediately accept a transfer to the Enterprise. All three would be nearly equally acceptable.
"We would strongly recommend…a different direction," Admiral Barnett says.
Spock considers for four seconds. "Explain."
The admiral levels a meaningful look at him. Spock does not find it impenetrable, but he does find it an inadequate means of communication.
"We see that Cadet Kirk is not listed among your prospective crew," Admiral Barnett finally says.
"I was, and remain, uncertain as to Cadet Kirk's academic standing."
It is not an untrue statement, but it is a misleading one in two respects. First, Spock's degree of uncertainty regarding what will become of his accusations regarding James T. Kirk's method of passing the Kobayashi Maru simulation is negligible. He does not know for a fact, but he has more than enough information through which to arrive at a probable conclusion. Second, the statement deliberately fails to answer the implicit question in the admiral's observation. It is disingenuous to take advantage of humanity's assumption that Vulcans are unlikely to understand the indirect conversational techniques that seem fundamental to the human species.
Spock does not care. If this is to be their command, then he would have them say so directly. He recognizes pique in his actions and the old urge to rebel. This, as well, he dismisses.
"There's been…a lot of discussion with regard to Cadet Kirk. But that ruling's going to come down tomorrow. We're going to clear him. And at commencement, we're going to give him a commendation right along with yours and the rest of the acting senior officers on board that ship."
"Understood." He considers other things that he might say, sundry arguments to be made against this course of action, but it is clear that everyone present is well-aware of the implications of what they are instructing.
"Give him a post, Mr. Spock. He more than proved himself and Starfleet, the Federation, we need all the heroes we can get right now." Admiral Barnett fixes him with another significant stare. "'The needs of the many…' that's how it goes, right?"
"Correct," Spock replies. Behind his back, he grips his left wrist more tightly than is necessary or comfortable.
oOo
"Were you aware that my command of the Enterprise would be partially contingent upon the selection of officers who would provide an appearance that the board believed to be beneficial to public perception?"
Captain Pike does not even blink as he looks up at Spock, who has been standing still as a statue in the foyer of the assembly building for the previous twenty-six minutes, waiting for him. Pike's attendant stands some yards away at the door to the hall from which they have just departed, clearly instructed to wait as Pike maneuvered his chair towards the foyer. This confrontation is expected, which itself goes a long way towards answering Spock's question.
"It's the Enterprise, Spock," Pike replies. "Even when it was mine politics had a hand in the appointments. That didn't mean that any of our selections were wrong."
Internally, he protests the irrationality. A society where all progression is based on merit, and merit alone, is the only logical one. But that is an underpinning of Vulcan society and, on Vulcan, no matter how hard he worked—no matter how much better he was than his peers—all of Spock's achievements were inevitably framed through the lense of his 'disadvantage.' It is one of the reasons why he is here in the first place.
He says nothing.
"Jim Kirk is going to be a damned fine officer."
As an attempt to reassure, it is lacking. Spock tries to calculate how much of this assertion is based on Pike's peculiar attachment to Kirk, how much on the fact that Kirk personally saved Pike's life, and how much on Kirk's actual—and, Spock must admit, not insignificant—merits as an officer. He can reach no sound figure.
So he says, "At this juncture, it is in my best interest to hope that you are correct in your assessment."
oOo
Spock is preparing his dinner when the door to his quarters slides open. There is only one person besides himself who has an access code to enter his apartment, so he should not be surprised when he looks up from the kitchenette and sees Nyota standing in the threshold. Even less so given his telepathic sensitivity to her presence. Still, he is surprised, and he is also nearly unsuccessful at hiding the emotion. Her hair is swept away from her face in a trail of tight braids up to the crown of her head and then left to fall loose down her back. Tiny silver leaves suspended from fine chains dangle from her ears. The faint sound of them clicking together when she cocks her head at him makes the back of his neck tingle.
How much he misses her strikes him like a physical blow.
Spock sets down the knife with which he was slicing carrots. He wipes his hands on the nearby towel before stepping away from the kitchenette and into the living area.
Nyota's eyes are soft with sadness, but her mouth is drawn tight with anger. She does not leave him to parse this alone.
"Were you really just not going to say a word to me until I reported for duty?" she asks. She gestures at him as she does so, and there is a datapadd in her hand. Along with the dismissal of the charges against Kirk, the board also sent out the graduating cadets' assignments today.
"It has been less than 72 hours since I made the decision to remain in Starfleet," he responds. There is no need for him to move more closely to her, but he does so anyway. Three steps and he could reach out and touch her. "I had not yet determined the…appropriate course of action with regard to our relationship. In deference to the nature of our parting and the desires you expressed therewith, I did not wish to disturb or possibly cause you distress before I was certain."
"You didn't want to-" Nyota pauses and takes a deep breath, abandoning her emphatic repetition. "Spock, you let me keep thinking that I was never going to see you again for three days after you knew that wasn't the case. That disturbs me. That causes me distress."
He takes another step towards her, concerned, hands at his sides. Nyota moves back, maintaining the distance between them. She does not become exasperated with him often. Not in any significant way. This is. He does not enjoy it.
Spock has no explanations for his actions other than the obvious, which he is certain that she already knows. Yet, she is not reacting as if she is aware or as if it matters. He can see no other option than to explain as best he can.
"I apologize, Nyota. But as captain," he begins. "I will be held to different rules and standards than I would were I any other officer. Starfleet regulations state-"
She raises a hand towards him. It is a quick, sharp movement and, unbidden, he contrasts it with the vivid memory of that same hand offered in invitation.
"Stop," she commands harshly. "Please, just- stop. I know what Starfleet regulations say."
He squares his shoulders and clasps his hands behind his back. "Then you accept my reasoning for refraining from contact prior to having arrived at an acceptable solution."
"No, I don't."
His brows draw together and he can feel the corners of his mouth turning down. She is angry at the delay, this is clear. Any pleasure he might have anticipated or even, he will admit to himself, hoped for at the news that they are not to be physically separated seems to hold no sway when pit against what he would deem a minor inconvenience. She is aware of his motivations, logically-sound as they are, but rejects the actions to which they led him. Yet, he has always known her to be a rational being.
"I do not understand," he concludes.
He wants to very badly, but the way that she looks at him does not give him the impression that she has ascertained this. He is unsure if she, this once, cannot read him or if she merely does not care to any longer. The latter possibility sends cold tendrils of fear creeping through his mind. They mix with his grief and his longing in a manner that is more unpleasant than he thought possible.
"Right now," Nyota says. "I'm going to need you to figure that out yourself."
She turns to leave, padd still clutched in her hand.
"Nyota," he calls after her, his voice far less modulated than he intended.
She stops and turns to face him once more.
He begins to move towards her, but reconsiders. He takes a stuttering half-step, an uncharacteristically inefficient motion. It gets him nowhere, so he speaks instead, giving voice to the dominant thought in his mind since she walked through the door.
"I-I am…unhappy with the termination of our personal relationship."
The corners of her mouth twitch upwards, but he does not believe that she is pleased.
"Me too," she responds before disappearing back through the door.
oOo
"Your inspirational valor and extreme dedication are inkeeping with the highest traditions of service and reflect utmost credit to yourself, your crew, and the Federation."
Admiral Barnett smiles as he pins the medal to Spock's uniform.
"In honor of which, I present you with this commendation. Under Starfleet order 2855, report to Admiral Pike, USS Enterprise, for duty as his relief."
The medal, as it hangs, is nearly undetectable, its weight almost wholly imagined. Spock turns a sharp forty-five degrees and takes six crisp steps towards Admiral Pike.
"I relieve you, sir," Spock says.
"I am relieved," Pike responds. His hands rest on his knees. "Congratulations, Captain."
Spock nods. Applause ripples through the room. Cadet Kirk seems contained, his smirk almost rueful. Three people down from him, Spock is surprised by the genuine pleasure shining from Nyota's face. He immediately disregards the fanciful notion that it is directed towards him and not towards her own accomplishments and those of the rest of her remaining classmates. There are an abundance of underclassmen in the assembly hall, present only to fill seats. Spock's eyes cast about further and are drawn to the very back of the room as if of their own volition.
Up on the balcony, the gray-haired figure's expression is unfathomable.