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Chapter 13

I was sure that the rumors Jesse and Ralf had spread would stay forever inside the school –always tormenting Rose but surprisingly, I actually heard people defending her. I would hear students say that Rose giving Lissa blood was no big deal –that they had to do it for survival and that Ralf and Jesse had made the whole scenario up. There was definitely a shift in power among the students and Lissa was becoming the center of attention all of a sudden. I would hear countless students discuss what she wore and who she was dating. Lissa really had kept her promise. Of course, that wasn't all too surprising, most students wanted to get in good with the last royal Dragomir.

Rose I continued with our practice before classes the next day, and she always seemed genuinely happy to be there, even though I knew how much she loved her sleep. We would run together now as usual, bracing the cold Montana weather. I was quiet during these times and I tried to be gentle –a bit afraid of causing her a breakdown after what the students had said about her. I never mentioned the rumors to her –but I think she knew that they had reach me.

After we finished running today, I led Rose through an offensive exercise where she could use any makeshift weapon she could find to attack me. I was surprised that she actually managed to land a few blows on me –usually I was way too fast for her, but she was learning quickly.

The hits, however, seemed to do more damage to me than her because the impact would always make her stagger back and I never budged. I had a lot of weight and strength on her though, so she was doing a pretty good job. She continued to attack and attack though, regardless of the odds and fighting with an almost blind rage.

I finally called a break and we carried the equipment we used on the field back to the supply room. While putting it away, I looked at Rose's hands and did a double take.

"Your hands," I swore in Russian, "Where are your gloves?"

Rose looked down at her hands then, the skin on them was raw and chapped, full of swelled blisters and some of them were even bleeding.

"Don't have any," she responded, "Never needed them in Portland."

I swore again and told her to go sit on the chair while I grabbed a first-aid kit.

While I wiped off the blood I assured her, "We'll get you some." Hadn't anyone in the Academy thought of this –her matron for instance?

Rose looked down at her weathered hands and said, "This is only the start, isn't it?"

"Of what?" I asked puzzled.

"Me. Turning into Alberta. Her….and all the other female guardians, they're all leathery and stuff. Fighting and training and always being outdoors –they aren't pretty anymore." She paused, "This…this life. It destroys them. Their looks, I mean."

I hesitated for a moment and looked up to her eyes levelly.

"It won't happen to you," I began, "You're too…" I paused before allowing myself to say something I would regret, finally settling for, "It won't happen to you."

I turned my attention back to her hands then, damn, I almost had just slipped.

"It happened to my mom," Rose continued, "She used to be beautiful. I guess she still is, sort of. But not the way she used to be." Bitterly, she added, "Haven't seen her in a while. She could look completely different for all I know."

"You don't like your mother," I observed.

"You noticed that, huh?" she answered.

"You barely know her," I told her. Janine Hathaway was a phenomenal guardian, her reputation traveled everywhere and I didn't really understand why Rose wouldn't be proud of that.

"That's the point," Rose explained. "She abandoned me. She left me to be raised by the academy."

When I finished cleaning up the wounds, I found a jar of salve and began rubbing it into the rough parts of her skin.

"You say that… but what else should she have done? I know you want to be a guardian. I know how much it means to you. Do you think she feels any differently? Do you think she should have quit to raise you when you'd spent most of your life here anyway?"

"Are you saying I'm a hypocrite?" asked Rose.

"I'm just saying maybe you shouldn't be so hard on her. She's a very respected Dhampir woman. She's set you on the path to be the same."

"It wouldn't kill her to visit more," Rose muttered. "But I guess you're right. A little. It could have been worse, I suppose. I could have been raised by blood whores."

I looked up then, "I was raised in a Dhampir commune. They aren't as bad as you think." The communes had a bad reputation, but I adored my family.

"Oh," Rose began, "I didn't mean—"

"It's all right." I cut her off, focusing my attention back on her hands.

"So, did you, like, have family there? Grow up with them?" Rose asked.

I nodded, "My mother and two sisters. I didn't see them much after I went to school, but we still keep in touch. Mostly, the communities are all about family. There's a lot of love there, no matter what stories you've heard."

"Yeah, but isn't it weird?" asked Rose. "Aren't there a lot of Moroi men visiting to, you know?"

"Sometimes," I said, as I rubbed circles into Rose's hands. I didn't mean for my tone to sound that dangerous with the words.

"I'm-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up something bad…."

"Actually… you probably wouldn't think it's bad," I said after about a minute, deciding whether I should tell her about my father or not.

A tight smile formed on my face and I asked her, "You don't know your father, do you?"

Rose shook her head, "No. All I know is that he must have had wicked cool hair."

I glanced up then, "Yes, he must have," then returned to her hands. I shouldn't have said that.

"I knew mine," I said, careful now of my words.

Rose froze then. "Really? Most Moroi guys don't stay—I mean, some do, but you know, usually they just—"

"Well, he liked my mother. And he visited her a lot. He's my sisters' father too. But when he came… well, he didn't treat my mother very well. He did some horrible things," I continued.

"Like…" Rose hesitated, "Blood whore things?"

"Like beating-her-up kinds of things," I replied flatly.

"Oh God," Rose said as she tightened her hands, I couldn't help but squeeze back, noticing that I'd been long done with the bandages and now I was really, just holding them. Rose wasn't pulling away.

"That's horrible." She continued, and she… she just let it happen?"

"She did," I smiled, a little sad, "But I didn't."

I could almost see the excitement jumping out of her, "Tell me, tell me you beat the crap out of him."

My smile grew as I answered, "I did."

"Wow. You beat up your dad. I mean, that's really horrible… what happened. But, wow. You really are a god."

I blinked, "What?"

"Uh nothing," Rose said nervously, trying to evade the subject, "How old were you?"

I was still wondering about the comment. Did she really think so highly of me? But I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable so I just answered her question.

"Fifteen," I told her.

"You beat up your Dad when you were fifteen?" she shrieked.

"It wasn't that hard. I was stronger than he was, almost as tall. I couldn't let him keep doing that. He had to learn that being royal and Moroi doesn't mean you can do anything you want to other people –even blood whores."

She stared, "I'm sorry."

"It's all right," I assured her.

"That's why you got so upset about Jesse, isn't it? He was another royal, trying to take advantage of a dhampir girl."

I averted my eyes, not wanting to lie to her face, "I got upset over that for a lot of reasons. After all, you were breaking the rules, and…"

But I didn't finish, I just looked deep into her eyes, wondering if she could see through me.

"I know you heard what people are saying, that I—"Rose began.

"I know it's not true," I interrupted.

"Yeah, but how do you—"

"Because I know you," I said firmly. "I know your character. I know you're going to be a great guardian."

"I'm glad someone does. Everyone else thinks I'm totally irresponsible."

"With the way you worry more about Lissa then yourself…" I shook my head. "No. you understand your responsibilities better than some guardians twice your age. You'll do what you have to do to succeed."

"I don't know if I can do everything I have to do," Rose admitted.

I lifted an eyebrow at her, signaling for her elaborate.

She got the message and said, "I don't want to cut my hair."

I gave her a puzzled look, "You don't have to cut your hair. It's not required."

"All the other guardian women do. They show off their tattoos," Rose insisted.

I reached over then, grabbing a lock of her hair and twisted it around my finger. I loved her hair.

I let go then, a little surprised with my actions and a bit embarrassed.

"Don't cut it," I told Rose gruffly.

"But no one will see my tattoos if I don't," she retorted.

I moved toward the doorway then, better to leave before I do something worse, "wear it up," I said, smiling at her.