A/N – Alright, so here is the newest installment. I enjoyed writing this chapter because it's very emotion driven and I love writing the thoughts and feelings of Johnny and Lulu. I know that Lulu's stubbornness is a little frustrating, but just hang in there and trust me! Enjoy, and let me know what you think!

Chapter 12 – Can't Understand

Lulu was tired of her apartment. She hadn't left it since the night of the gala. She had ordered in or cooked for herself. She was afraid to leave because she was afraid to face Johnny. She didn't know if her heart could take looking him in the eye. She didn't want to hear his lies or excuses. So she didn't leave her apartment.

But now she was beginning to hate everything about it.

She had rearranged her furniture, cleaned every surface and even planned to repaint. The paint ideas were what got her in trouble. Thinking of paint made her think of Johnny and she ended up sobbing in the middle of the floor with her head in her hands. She hated feeling all of the pain. She hated not being in control of her emotions. She hated Johnny for breaking her heart.

She hated herself for still loving him.

She found her CD of classical music and put it in the player in the bathroom. Then she drew herself a warm bath and added her lavender bubble bath. She pulled her hair up into a messy bun and removed her clothes and stepped into the inviting water. She relaxed back into the water and tried to forget every day since she met Johnny. She wanted to erase him from her memory. She believed that if she couldn't remember him, he couldn't hurt her anymore.

She closed her eyes and let the music consume her. She recognized the song, but she couldn't remember the title. It was a beautiful piano piece that brought a smile to her face. Then the tears came to her eyes. It was Clair de Lune. The song she and Johnny had talked about on their date.

"I love classical music," Lulu said softly. "What about you?"

"Definitely," Johnny nodded. "But I'd rather play it than listen to it."

"Play it?" Lulu asked.

"Yeah," Johnny breathed. "I play piano."

"I never would have guessed that," Lulu laughed.

"I do," Johnny replied.

"What's your favorite song to play?" Lulu wondered.

"It's a piece by Debussy," Johnny answered. "It's called Clair de Lune."

"Why is it your favorite?" Lulu questioned.

"It's like a beautiful love story," Johnny whispered. "It starts off slow and painful. Like a longing to be with someone. But it speeds up and the melody becomes joyful. Like you finally found the one you love and you're completely happy. And then it slows again, but there isn't pain. It's contentment with the love and life you have now."

"Wow," Lulu smiled. "I've never thought of the song that way before."

"Do you know it?" Johnny asked.

"It's on a CD I have," Lulu responded. "I've always enjoyed it. I think I will even more now."

Lulu leaned her head back against the edge of the tub as the last notes of the song rang out. She wished that the love story that Johnny described to her on their date had been theirs. It had been for awhile. She had longed for Johnny and she had been completely happy for a short time. But now instead of contentment, she felt emptiness.

Her body tensed as the sobs came again. She couldn't stop them as they took her over and she sat in the tub and cried for almost an hour. She was sure she would run out of tears, but she never did. She never ran out of tears or pain.

She finally pulled herself together and got out of the tub. She dried off and dressed quickly while the tub drained. She then began gathering some items and throwing them into a bag. She took enough clothes for a week, but she didn't know how long she would be gone. She just knew she had to go. She had to get away from her apartment and hopefully away from all the misery that she was experiencing.

"Tracy?" Lulu said into the phone. "Is it okay if I stay at the mansion for a little while?"

She was walking out the door as she called to ask Tracy if it was okay to stay with her. She could have stayed with one of her brothers, but they would ask too many questions. She also hoped that the drama of the Quartermaine mansion would take her mind off things. Tracy agreed to her request and Lulu climbed into her car. She sped away from her apartment building, desperately hoping that she could escape her heartache.

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Johnny was going crazy.

As Matt had advised, he had given Lulu space and used that time to come up with ways to explain his relationship with Betsy, ask for Lulu's forgiveness and tell her he loved her. He spent three days thinking and waiting for Lulu to cool off enough before he couldn't wait anymore. He called her and she didn't answer. He knew that was likely to happen. She had also been calling in sick to work and he guessed it was to avoid seeing him.

It killed him to think that she hated him, but with every day that went by and with every phone call and text that she ignored it became more and more apparent that she did. After day five, he went to her apartment. It was ten o'clock at night and he knew he was crazy to be there, but he had to see her. He had been driving to try to calm his nerves, but it hadn't helped. His car had steered itself to her place and he ended up knocking furiously on her door.

He had gotten several demands to hush from her neighbors as he called her name through her door. She had to be home at such a late time. He wasn't going to let her keep ignoring him. After knocking and yelling for almost thirty minutes, he sulked back to his car. He fell into the seat and leaned his head against the steering wheel.

He didn't know what to do. Lulu, the woman he loved more than he ever believed he was capable of loving, hated him. She wanted nothing to do with him ever again. Life had knocked him on his ass several times, but this time he didn't know how to get up.

He closed his eyes and thought about Lulu. She was everything to him. His heart and soul. He wanted desperately to go back to the night they made love. He wanted to change one thing. Instead of letting himself go to sleep without talking to her, he wanted to tell her exactly what it had meant to him. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and hold her while she slept. He wanted to wake up to her smile and kiss her as she opened her eyes slowly. He felt like if he could go back and do all of those things, he wouldn't be where he was.

But there was a problem with that thinking and he realized it quickly. Everything that had happened had led him to falling in love with Lulu and that was a feeling he wouldn't trade for the world. Had he done things differently after their night together, there was no telling what would have happened between them. How could he wish for a fate different than loving Lulu? Loving her was the best thing that had ever happened to him. He sat in his car, thinking of her, and drifted off to sleep.

He woke to someone beating against his window. Blinded by the sun, he squinted to discern who was there. When his eyes adjusted, he realized it was Georgie. He opened the door to get out of the car, silently wondering what she was doing there.

"Lulu's not here," Georgie remarked.

"Do you know where she is?" Johnny asked.

"Of course," Georgie answered.

"Well," Johnny said expectantly.

"I'm not telling you," Georgie replied. "You're the reason she decided to leave."

"Leave?" Johnny questioned sadly. "Leave where? Just her place, Port Charles, the country, what?"

"Calm down," Georgie laughed.

"I wish people would quit telling me to calm down where Lulu is concerned," Johnny muttered. "You don't know what it's like to be in love with someone who hates you for something you didn't even do."

"I don't think Lulu hates you," Georgie offered.

"Then why won't she take my calls?" Johnny wondered. "Or come to work? Why did she leave her apartment?"

"Because she doesn't want to be with you," Georgie responded and Johnny's face fell. "I'm not trying to hurt you, but you need to let it go. She gave up on the two of you making it work."

"Why?" Johnny asked, the hurt evident in his voice.

"A person can only take so much, Johnny," Georgie said softly. "I tried to change her mind, but she wouldn't listen to me."

"You're wrong," Johnny shook his head. "She just needs more time."

"I know her," Georgie replied. "I'm sorry, Johnny. It's over."

"What am I supposed to do?" Johnny demanded. "I...she...it can't be over. There are things she doesn't know. I never had anything to do with Betsy. It was a business move that didn't even work out. Lulu is the only woman I've ever loved. She's it for me. I have to tell her that."

"If you were never really with Betsy," Georgie started. "Why didn't you tell Lulu that before she left the gala?"

"I was so angry that Betsy was even there talking to me," Johnny answered. "And I never dreamed Lulu would believe her or think that I had lied to her in some way. Then when Lulu left I was in too much shock to even go after her."

"Are you lying right now?" Georgie questioned.

"No," Johnny sighed. "You can ask Matt. He knows how much I hated talking to Betsy."

"I think I believe you," Georgie admitted. "But I can't do anything about making Lulu talk to you. You're going to need a miracle for that. And I don't think spending nights in your car outside her apartment is the best way to get that miracle."

"I know," Johnny nodded, breathing deeply. "Can I ask you for a favor?"

"Sure," Georgie nodded.

"Get Lulu back to work," Johnny requested. "If you can get her to work, I can do the rest."

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Lulu walked into the coffee shop and smiled shyly at Derek who gave her a confused look.

"Do I know you?" Derek asked sarcastically.

"I'm sorry," Lulu apologized. "I know I haven't worked in forever. I've just been dealing with some personal issues and I didn't think I would do a very good job."

"I would lie and say it's not a problem, but it was hard covering for you for the last week," Derek replied.

"I'm surprised you didn't fire me," Lulu muttered.

"I would have," Derek said honestly. "The boss wouldn't allow it."

Lulu's stance wavered, but she held her resolve. She was over Johnny Zacchara. It had taken the entire week, but she finally had stopped crying and put herself back together. She had planned to quit, but Georgie had convinced her to go back and face him. She said it was the only way to truly get over him and Lulu couldn't argue that point.

"I'm grateful," Lulu smiled. "So I'm back if you need help."

"Definitely," Derek nodded. "I'm glad you got here before the morning rush."

"Hey," Lulu said, making Derek look at her. "Is there a way I can make this up to you? Missing so much, I mean."

"Well," Derek thought. "I have a date tonight. It would be great if you could close for me so I could get out of here early."

Lulu thought about it. Johnny was likely to work late which meant she would be left alone with him at the end of the night. She seriously considered saying no, but she decided to do it. She had to face Johnny sooner or later and she wanted to get it over with.

"Sure," Lulu responded. "I'll close early tonight."