O.O -realizes no author notes for last chapter- Henh henh henh....sorry for the long wait! There were many issues to work out, but for now it is just me (Kit-Kat) doing this story. Again, sorry for the long wait o.O
Mello's P.O.V
I've lost. I'm done. I can't fight against him any longer. It's too painful to fight back against an unstoppable force that you'll always be second to. It kills me to known that there is no escaping this hellish place. Would I even want to? These feelings and thoughts are blurring in my vision, confusing me to no end.
The blood from the auburn boy stained the floor. I observe the patterns of blood from where Light twitched and convulsed in. The demon dragged him out once he was done with his little show earlier, smiling as he did so and giving me a little wave to his pet.
His pet. Me. Mello. Mihael Keehl is a pet to that demonic, horrific man.
My stomach aches at the thought of how he would treat me if I ever disobeyed him, seeing as the red-eyed fiend is my master. How can I still feel pleasure mixed in with fear when I look into those bloody orbs? Why am I not caring anymore that I've lost me hope, dignity, pride, and my own self in this disastrous mess.
Have I lost my mind? After seeing all those wounds on Light's beaten body, after hearing that crunching sound of his head caving in under the weight of B's knife, and after spending countless hours here praying to be forgiven for all the sins that have fallen on me, have I gone mad with insanity?
It would explain the love... no, the lust; the lust that has bubbled up inside of me and exploded with an unseen amount of furious tension between my heart and my mind. The battling two argue against each other, pitting my body in the middle of all the useless bullshit.
My heart longs for Beyond.
My mind longs to get the fuck out the back door and carry on with my normal life, if I can ever reach a "normal" level of living after this nightmare of an experience.
The problem is that I've always been the type to lean on my emotions rather than my intelligence. Emotions are the sign of a human, the sign of a living, breathing soul, and to me they have been the instinct that helped me survived on the streets for so long. They are the sole reason I am living today...
And stuck in this dreadful situation.
I could let the will of my emotions force me to stay here and be with the Demon. I could let them take over me and push my sense of right and wrong out the window. I could let myself fall to my knees at Beyond's feet and let his knife and his hands trail over my hot flesh.
But I don't want to give in. I want to fight, damn it! I want to see daylight again. I want to watch the polluted cars avoid near crashes. I want to see people busily pushing each other out of the way to get to the jobs they managed to snag. I want to steal food, live under the sky and for fuck's sake, go to a damn church and pray for forgiveness!
I don't want to remain here. I don't want to be the Demon's little pet. I don't want to be cuddled by his hands or licked by his bloody knife or watched by those devilish eyes.
Freedom is what I desire. Mello was born to be a free spirit, able to go wherever he wants, whenever he wishes. Mello was not meant to stay cooped up in a crime scene-to-be. I was not meant for him.
However, my emotions disagree tremendously. They snarl, they scream, they thrash at the chains holding my wrists, they cry tears of pain for not being able to cherish the Demon's touch, and they go frantic at the sound of him passing the room I'm locked in with a terribly slow pace to his feet.
Why can't I gain control over them?! They are like criminals desperate to make a prison break. They are so anxious over the Demon's slim form. My emotions are in love -no, lust with the horrible being. But does this truly mean I'm in love with-
"Hello, little pet..."
-him...
"I know you've missed me since our last little time together. Those screams and sounds you make are so alluring..." I didn't hear him slip into the room due to my buzzing thoughts in my head. He had managed to glide across the floor till his eyes were directly in front of mine without me even sensing him! Foolishness floods me as well as the anger towards my unbidden feelings towards the Demon.
His voice drips with humor, "You were so anxious to see me weren't you!" This was it, the choice, the decision. My mind or my heart; my emotions or my will. But the choice in itself was so damn hard! I don't even know what I want anymore. I can't even set my mind straight on one path and follow that path till the end...
"Mihael..." He whispered seductively into my ear, "Do you love me?"
That word, that hateful little word...love...
"...Yes" It was on instinct that I whispered the words back. My impulse forced me to say that little word that caused Beyond's demon eyes to widen with joy and shock. The intuition in my gut led me to say the word that infinitely decided my fate.
But it was my heart that leads them all.
My heart had won.
"Well, Mihael, that earns you the right to come with me on a little trip!" He instantly unlocked the chains with a key that had been hidden in his sleeve. His pale hand grabs mine, shooting up sparks inside my skin. As he pulled me out of the room with his skin brushing against mine, I had the odd sensation that I screwed up my fate.
-Hours later-
Where are we?
Beyond had proceeded in taking out of the cramped apartment and pulled me into the alleyways of the dusty New York streets. I could have easily pulled away and run. I could have easily knocked him out and sought help.
But I didn't. Why didn't I? What was stopping me from ripping his neck open? What was stopping me from slamming his damn head against a brick wall. A word kept whistling in my ear, mocking me till no end as I struggled with this confusion: love. Did I hnestly mean what i had said a few hours ago?
If I did mean it then what does this mean? Have I betrayed God for falling in lust with another man? Am I divulging myself in letting my robust emotions run my very will? I don't know anymore; I don't know anything anymore.
All I want to do is.... live for myself. Relying on others, living up to other people's standards, and believing in an infinite power I cannot see or touch but I pray to for protection does nothing for me! It never has, never will...
Fuck them all. I'll live for myself and what I want. My heart wants Beyond, then it'll get Beyond.
If not, then I will kill that audacious demon.
"Mihael, you are wondering why we are here, yes?" With a charm in his voice, Beyond winks at my form the side as I observe the room we are in. It looks as normal as an apartment can get: a few furnishes here and there, two other doors that lead to a bed room and a bathroom, and a dainty kitchen that reeks of a hidden mess.
Why the hell are we here?
I look to Beyond in confusion as he continues to hold his sly smirk with his lips, "We need to leave a horrendous clue for stupid, little L." His hands touch my shoulders lightly as he slanders to the kitchen and observes that sharp knives that protrude out of a bowl of silverware. His fingers grace over their blades, shining in the dim light as he did so.
"A clue?" I follow his footsteps and stop behind his slender form.
"Yes," he says, looking to me over his shoulder, "The first one was Light, which I left directly on his doorstep. The second one shall be his dear friend Mail Jeevas or Matt as they like to refer to him. One after another I shall eliminate all of my traitorous pet's friends and families as I did to his lover, Light." His bangs cover one of his red eyes in such an ominous way that I feel the need to back away after hearing such a terrifying plan.
However, I felt...what's the word? Needed. I felt that he wanted me apart of his scheme of things. The Demon wanted me front row of all the action that would take place.
And I can't say I didn't want to be there in the front row.
He's wanted me more than anyone else I can say at the least; I don't see God running in on a white horse with a sword in his hand. Besides, the way he said it was so....intoxicating.
"When's he coming?" I ask my demon, stepping closer to him till out faces are near inches apart.
We hear a door click at the sound of a key. Beyond whispers evilly, "Right now..."
-.- I shall never leave this story hanging again! I swear it O.O Reviews making me update faster (har har har...) as well and you receive and invisible muffin and a virtual hug with every review!
You know you want a muffin O.O