What would Alice know of the inside of Bella's journal she'd never read it. I put the tiny phone into my bag and paid the driver. My filght left in 10 I setteled further into my seat, it was going to be a long wait my flight had been delayed by 3 hours but befor this had been anounced I was alread in my seat. I smiled sweetly at the attendent and mearly said "Please" she walked briskly away after that not bothering me again.

I pulled Bella's journal out of my pocket and opened it at the day I wished never happened the day I walked away from my life and left all chances of happeyness crumpled on the forest floor. All that was written was

He's gone

Her handwriting bairly visable. The page had the strangest sent of salt coming off it and I soon realised why. Her agony, I didn't even deserve to die no that wouldn't be punishment enough as long as she has sufferd I would now suffer. As I flicked through the pages she alway seems to be menching this dream.

I was on the beach, It was sunny, I looked around for someone anyone I knew thats when I locked eyes on him, it surly couldn't be Edward? My Edward My head filled with hope at those simple words 'My Edward' I truly was hers. I walked towards him when Jake suddenly steps out infront of me turnign to face Edward, but I push him out of the way I wanted to touch him to make sure he was real, when I reached out to him he pullled me close to him but it wasn't the same they were the wrong set of arms "I'm sorry Edward" I said trying to break his hold but he was to strong "You have to let me go i'm sorry" I pleded wanting more than anything in the world for the warm arms of my sun, my protector. Edward wouldn't let me go he trunedand began to run away from the beach I screamed in the hope he would put me down "Help me Jacob!"I yelled as I sturggled trying to break free. Suddely the warm reddish brown wolf 'd been praying for came to me. Edward put me down and looked deep into my eyes I could see he only wanted to be close to me. Jacob snarled, "No Jake it's alright he wont hurt me." I whispered to the gigant wolf who was by my side. But he lunged Edward didn't even move he didn't attempt to stop Jacob, "No stop it Jake don't hurn him" I cryed out through my tears. He couldn't hurt my Edward I wouldn't allow it, I grabbed a rock from the ground and threw it with all my force it didn't hit the intended target but got Jacob's attention. "Take me home now" I whispered through my sobs, Jake changed back and came to me he grabbed me in his arms, I turned to have my last look at happeness He stood there perfect as ever but there was somthing wrong, he wasn't whole there was a piece missing not a physical piece a mental one and Jacob was carring it away craddled in his arms. "Good bye My Edward" I whispered with my last sob, "Goodbye my angel" He said just loud enough for me to hear. With those final words I woke Jake huggging me into his chest. I wanted to rip myself from him I didnt want him I wanted my missing piece back,my other half, MY EDWARD. Before I could allow my chest to swell with hope I looked at the date that was only a month after I left. I flicked to the more recient ones.

I wished and prayed and hoped allnight long that god would give me my angel back. But it was in vain he wasn't coming back, he didn't care.

I wanted to hurl myself fo the tallest mountain, drown in the darkest waters, for all the pain and missery 'd put her through.

I drempt the sweetest dreamlast night my angel came to me he whispered in my ear, and sung me my lulaby all night long, If only he'd come back to me.

That one was from just a week ago. even more recient the night before I arrived,yesterday night.

In the attempt to satifsy the pain and missery that thretend to engulf me I allowed myslef to to think about him on purpous somthing I hadn't done since he left I planned what I would say to him if he were to return to me right this moment, I would wrap my arms around his neck and the only words that would fall from my lips would be words of forgiveness, I would not hold it against him he left purly for me and would never return for me no matter how bad both those things were for me. I miss him, I love him and where ever he is now I hope he is looking at the moon with me even if he doesn't know it. I have to pull myself together he doesn't want me, he doesn't love me. Still even though this is reality it is nice to have a dream world where he and I can be together. If he asked me I would never say no.

I was just about to run through the plane doors to the girl who was my whole world the reason that made existing bareable when my phone gave a little tinkle, I looked at the number and my heart sored this time I didn't even try to tame it. The message was from bella fromher phone.

I opened it and my heart hit the ground there was no way this was Bella it had to be Jacob.

'Stay away from us, from her, you will never hurt her again- where is her journal she was searching for it this morning she tore her room apart she ended up curled up on the floor crying and yelling that I just had to find it because it had all of her best memorys in it'

My head was going to burst with all of my rage how could I have done that to her I destroyed her once and it sounds like it had just done it again, could I do anything right?! My answer was simple 'I'll help some how' no longer was it sent than one was returned. 'I'm telling you now, to stay away'

I didn't care I slipped the leather journal into my jacket pocket and ran I had to see Carlisle first to tell him the change of plan. It would take me 2 hours and then I would free her from her pain.

"Edward?"Carlisle was suprided I thought you were going home?

"I came to tell you that I changed my mind I'm staying for a little longer," I tryed to explain with out giving too much away.

I went to my room to put on somenew clothes but when I walked in I nearly had a heartattack.

a/n : R&R I want to hear what some of you think