Summary: AU Season 2. Over the summer it comes out that Veronica is in fact Jake Kanes' biological daughter. She files for emancipation, transfers to Pan High School and is living with Keith Mars. She is reluctantly tested and agrees to give Jake the bone marrow transplant he needs. After the surgery she has difficulty breathing and before she passes out calls to Lilly. Veronica after getting out of the hospital is quiet and depressed. She moves in with Jake Kane and keeps busy with a lot of activities. Duncan asks her to talk to him about whatever is bothering her.
Duncan parks his car beside Logan's Xterra. He gets out and walks towards Logan on the beach. He greets Logan and observes, "Veronica's not here?"
Logan shakes his head as he looks out at the ocean assessing the waves, "No, not yet" Logan takes a deep breath in trying to relax.
Looking at his friend's stiff posture, Duncan says a little soothingly, "I'm glad you came. Are you nervous about this?"
Logan shrugs and says, "Kind of. I haven't really seen or talked to her since.... you know." He pauses and adds, "I guess I don't know what to expect"
Duncan nods a little in understanding. He stands beside Logan and looks out over the water. "She is so different. She is quiet and I hardly ever see her smile. I really hope I can find out what is wrong and maybe help her."
Logan sighs and agrees, "I hope so too." Duncan and Logan look out at the waves thinking about the upcoming meeting.
Duncan looks up the beach and spots Veronica walking towards them. He says, "Well here she comes…"
Logan turns to look up the beach. He sees her walking towards them with Back Up excitedly walking beside her. Logan observes that Veronica has lost even more weight. She looks pale and tired. His heart seems to stutter in his chest.
Veronica arrives and takes Back Up off the leash. Back Up runs to Logan and puts his paws on his chest trying to lick his face. Logan staggers a little under the onslot but laughingly pushes the pit bull off him and then leans down to pet him. Veronica pulls a ball out of her pocket and shows it to the exuberant dog, "Back Up, here fetch." She throws the ball up the beach and the three teenagers watch as Back Up runs enthusiastically after the ball.
Veronica turns to Logan and Duncan and says quietly, "Hi, thanks for coming." The boys can see she wasn't sure if Logan was going to come.
Duncan says quickly, "No problem. Do you want to walk or shall we sit down?"
Veronica smiles briefly at his diplomatic manner and says, "Let's sit. We ran a lot in soccer practice today." They all sit in the soft sand. The two boys sit side by side and Veronica sits gacing them. She throws the ball for Back Up again when he brings it back. The two boys exchange a look of concern about the upcoming conversation. Veronica stays quiet obviously thinking and then throws the ball again when Back Up brings it back.
The next time Back Up returns he flops down and puts his head in her lap. She absently reaches down and rubs his head. Veronica takes a deep breath and starts, "Since Lilly died, I see her." She looks up from Back Up's head to peek at Duncan and Logan. They both are watching her but say nothing. Veronica looks back at Back Up as she move her hand and starts scratching his neck. He is obviously enjoying her attention. She adds, "Mostly it has been in my room when I am looking through my closet. I see her lying on my bed and she talks to me about what I should wear and how much better she likes my clothes now."
Veronica pauses as if unsure what to say but continues, "I put these 'appearances' off on stress, fatigue, or whatever and I didn't think too much about them." Veronica looks up at the ocean. She continues to scratch Back Up's head as she continues her story, "Then last year I was at the Kane mansion for the scholarship dinner and I saw Lilly run out the patio door towards the pool. I followed and found her lying on a lounger in her Pep Squad outfit."
She is focused on the story and misses the two boys looking at each other in surprise. Veronica continues, "She looked beautiful. There was no blood and she smiled up at me when I walked towards her. She told me that although her family was messed up; Jake, Celeste and Duncan would not hurt her. I asked her "Who then Lil?"
Veronica turns to look at Duncan and says, "Then Duncan, you walked up behind me and we talked. When I turned back, she was gone."
Duncan immediately says, "I remember that. I didn't see anything when I walked up"
Veronica nods and answers, "I know. I thought maybe it was a message from her that I was on the wrong track in my investigation." Veronica looks back down at Back Up.
Logan looks at Duncan who shrugs. Their attention is brought back to Veronica as she continues, "I saw Lilly again after my surgery. I was talking to Wallace and all of a sudden it felt like a band was squeezing my chest. I couldn't get any air in my lungs. Wallace noticed I was having trouble and he asked me what was wrong. The edges of my vision started to go black; I was scared so I looked over at Wallace."
She looks up the beach away from the boys for a few seconds and then looks over at Logan and Duncan. She says, "Standing beside him was Lilly." She watches the look of surprise go almost simultaneously over both boys' faces. They are both leaning slightly towards her listening intently to her story. Veronica says, "She was wearing a white dress and she was glowing. She looked so beautiful! "
Veronica's voice breaks a little as she talks and Veronica takes a deep breath before she continues. "Wallace says I passed out but I felt like I floated towards Lilly. She took my hand and we went towards the door of my hospital room. I looked back and the nurses and doctors were working on my body. When I looked forward again, I was no longer in the hospital. I was walking down a forest path with Lilly."
Logan and Duncan both have identical looks of shock on their faces. Any other time, Veronica would have laughed but she was concentrating on getting the story out before she lost her nerve. "Lilly was still wearing that beautiful white gown. I looked down and I was wearing my hospital gown. I looked around. The trees were tall and the vegetation was green and lush. The sky was blue with white fluffy clouds. There was a breeze but it wasn't hot or cold; it was just right. The air smelled fresh and clean. I could hear insects and birds but I didn't see any of them. It was wonderful!" Her voice has become dreamy as she tells more of the story.
Logan and Duncan are staring at Veronica totally engrossed in what she is telling them. She continues, "I looked at Lilly and I asked her if I was dead. Lilly just looked at me and said "Duh!" Veronica puts her hand on her hip like Lilly used to imitating Lilly's sarcastic tone.
Veronica has a small smile on her face. She looks at Logan and Duncan. They smile with her enjoying her imitation of Lilly.
Veronica looks out towards the ocean. She is silent for a few minutes. Logan can tell she is gathering her courage to talk. He wonders what could be so hard to say.
Veronica continues to look out over the ocean. Neither boy interrupts her silence. They both give her time to get say what she wants to say.
She finally continues. Her voice is higher than usual when she says, "I was shocked when Lilly asked me if it was worth all the people I hurt to find out who killed her." She takes a few deep breaths obviously upset.
Duncan and Logan look at each other in shock. They didn't know what was upsetting Veronica but in a million years they wouldn't have guessed this. Veronica seems to have forgotten Logan and Duncan are there. She continues to look out over the ocean and pat Back Up's head in her lap. "I couldn't believe it. It never occurred to me that Lilly would not approve of my investigation."
Veronica is quiet for a minute and then continues, "I told her that she was my best friend and I had to get justice for her. She just looked straight at me and told me that she was dead and it didn't matter. What mattered to her was how many people I hurt and what I had become. She was angry. She grabbed my arm and turned me around to face her. She told me to listen because she had things to tell me."
Veronica turns her head to look at Logan and Duncan. They see the silent tears running down her cheeks. She takes a couple of deep breaths to try and control her crying. "I don't know how long our conversation took. I won't tell you everything she said to me; only the parts that pertain to you." She hesitates briefly and adds, "I will tell you she was quite strong in her opinions. You know how she could get?"
Both boys nod grimacing slightly in remembrance of times they upset her. Veronica pauses. It is obvious that she is finding it hard to tell this story. She looks at the boys and confesses. "I am still trying to come to grips with idea that Lilly is disappointed in me." Veronica wipes the tears off her face.
Listening to her in so much pain is too much for Logan. He says gently, "Ronnie, perhaps what you saw was just a dream?"
Veronica looks at Logan. He can see the pain in her eyes. She shakes her head and says, "I don't know Logan. I've never had a dream like that before." She meets Logan's eyes and says, "And I've had some real nightmares. It wasn't like that."
Logan looks at her with understanding. He knows she has had her share of nightmares to live through.
Veronica says, "Maybe I should just finish what I have to say and then you can ask whatever questions you have?"
Logan nods at Veronica but his brown eyes seem to soften as he looks at her. It is hard to see her iso upset. Logan knows how much Veronica loved Lilly and how much she sacrificed to find Lilly's killer.
Veronica looks at Duncan. She takes a deep breath and sighs. Her eyes are huge in her face. "Duncan, Lilly gave me hell for being a bad sister to you. She said that you were the best brother ever and I was avoiding you. She said you had been through enough and I should get over myself. She said I couldn't be as fabulous a sister as her but no one can. She said she was counting on me to keep you out of Celeste's clutches."
Veronica leans closer to Duncan. She is twisting her hands in her lap. She says, "I realized she was right. I am so sorry Duncan. I didn't know what to do when I found out I was your half sister. You didn't talk to me all last year. I didn't know if you would be uncomfortable with me after what happened between us. I didn't know if you even wanted to have a sister. I mean you were close to Lilly and I could never replace her. I wouldn't want to replace her." Veronica is talking fast and is obviously nervous.
Duncan takes Veronica's hand and squeezes it to stop her rambling. He says gently, "I had the same questions Veronica. I didn't know if you wanted to have a brother. I didn't know if you were uncomfortable with me. You didn't answer any of my phone calls and I didn't know what that meant. "
Veronica's voice breaks. She says, "I am so sorry Duncan. It took Lilly's bitching me out to make me see how stupid and selfish I was behaving. I have been thinking about it since Lilly talked to me. I would like to try and be a good sister. I don't really have much experience with the sibling thing but I am willing to learn. I won't be Lilly but I would like to be Veronica."
Duncan smiles and says quietly, "I would like that. I know Meg would like to spend more time with you too."
Veronica smiles back at Duncan and says, "Thanks."
Logan is pleased at the reunion. He knows how much Duncan wants to get closer to her.
Veronica drops Duncan's hand and turns towards Logan. She looks down at her hands. She says, "Lilly was also mad at how badly I treated you. She said that what I did was worse than what she, Trina and your mother did."
Logan looks startled but stays quiet. Veronica continues to look down at her hands. She sniffles and says, "I didn't need Lilly to tell me that. I know I was horrible to you. I think you were right to break up with me."
Veronica looks up at Logan briefly and meets his gaze. "I am very sorry Logan. I know that I have a lot of issues and I am working on them."
Logan and Duncan look shocked. T hey have never seen Veronica so regretful.
Veronica looks back over at the ocean for a few seconds and then back at Logan. She adds quietly, "I know that doesn't help you but maybe someday I can be a good partner to someone and I will have you to thank for that."
Logan looks at Veronica his eyes wide with uncertainty. He never imagined that Veronica would open up to him like she is. Duncan watches quietly.
Veronica bites her lip and looks out at the ocean. She takes a few calming breaths. After a short time she continues, "After Lilly talked to me, we had arrived at a pond. The pond was half covered in flowers and there was a double pink lounger floating in the middle. The next think I knew, I was lying on the lounger with Lilly. We were both wearing pink bikinis." Veronica shakes her head at the memory.
Veronica's voice begins to break again and the boys see the tears going down her face again. Her voice is raspy and a little difficult to understand. She says longingly, "It was so beautiful and peaceful! I felt like my soul was at peace. I looked over at Lilly and said "This is how it is supposed to be Lilly." She looked at me, smiled and said "Without a doubt Ronica!" We both closed our eyes and relaxed. I don't know how long we floated there. I was so happy with Lilly. I wanted to stay there forever. I felt like all the anger and pain I felt after Lilly died was just washing away."
She looks at Logan and Duncan and says, "I have never felt so wonderful!"
Veronica's shoulders are shaking and she wraps her arms around her small body. Logan and Duncan look at each other and neither seems to know what to do or say.
Veronica starts to talk again. "Then I felt something change. I didn't feel as peaceful anymore. I looked at Lilly and I said, "This is how it is supposed to be, right Lilly?" She tilted her head at me and looked so loving and said, "You know how it has to be, don't you?" I felt scared like she was going to leave me alone. I said, "Just like this Lilly, just like this!".
Veornica pauses and then finishes, "She smiled sadly at me and said, "Don't forget me sister." I could see she was going to leave so I said, "I could never!" and then she disappeared and I was on a single floater in the middle of the pond."
Veronica cries harder but continues with the story, "The next thing I knew I was back in my hospital bed.
Logan and Duncan look at Veronica in silence. Her whole body is shaking and she has her arms wrapped protectively around her middle. She is rocking herself gently. Logan doesn't even know how to describe how he is feeling. He can't imagine Veronica who is so practical would feel having this experience. He feels pain at seeing how much the experience upset her and he feels unsettled as she talks about talking to Lilly.
Finally Duncan reaches over and pulls Veronica into a hug. She continues to cry into his chest.
Veronica says as if her heart is breaking, "I didn't want to come back Duncan." Her voice is soft as she repeats, "I didn't want to come back!"
Logan looks at Veronica and he feels the breath leave his body at her words. He meets Duncan's eyes and sees the same concerns mirrored there. He has never seen Veronica in so much pain. Her cries are heart wrenching.
Duncan rubs her back soothingly. "It's OK Veronica. It will be OK."
The three sit in silence for a while. Veronica's sobs finally subside and she just rests in Duncan's arms.
Veronica finally pulls away from Duncan and looks at both Logan and Duncan. She whispers, "I have been down since then because it feels like I lost Lilly again. I feel so alone without her. I have this feeling she won't be back and she is gone for good this time."
Veronica's eyes fill with tears again. "I don't know how to explain it. I just feel so much pain."
Duncan puts his hand on her back and rubs gently. He says, "We can help you through it Veronica. You don't have to be alone. You should have come to us earlier".
Veronica rocks back and forth hugging herself. She says, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It isn't easy to talk about."
Duncan quietly says, "I can see that".
Duncan moves so he is facing her. He puts his hands on Veronica's shoulders and looks into her face. He asks, "You say that you didn't want to come back. Do you still feel that way?"
Veronica nods, "Sometimes. I just get so tired and I just want to be back on the raft with Lilly."
Logan looks sharply at Veronica. Duncan takes her chin and lifts her face so he can see her eyes. "Are you saying you want to die Veronica?"
Veronica immediately says sharply, "No!" Then adds a little quieter, "Don't worry about me killing myself Duncan. I won't do anything stupid. I am not going to hurt you guys anymore."
Duncan lets go of Veronica's chin. He can see she is being open with him. He says firmly, "Good! I don't want to lose you now. I already lost one sister."
Veronica just bites her lower lip and looks at Duncan with tears in her eyes.
Duncan continues, "Veronica, you can't hold things like that inside you. It's been making you sick."
Veronica says, "Who could I have told that story to? Wallace would listen but he wouldn't understand. My Dad is already worried about me. Could I tell our Dad? What would he think about me talking to Lilly? My new friends at Pan wouldn't understand. Would a therapist understand my relationship with Lilly?"
Duncan says, "You could have told us." He motions between Logan and himself.
Veronica shakes her head. "Duncan, you didn't talk to me at all after Lilly died. How could I talk to you about her now? And Logan broke up with me and we don't talk anymore."
Duncan pauses and then says quietly, "I see what you mean. but that's over with now. You're my sister. We can talk about anything."
Veronica smiles a little at Duncan and nods.
They are all quiet for a few moments. Back Up sensing Veronica's upset continues to stay close to her.
Logan leans toward Veronica and asks, "Can we talk about some other things now?"
Veronica nods. Logan continues, "Did Lilly tell you to move in with Jake?"
Veronica shakes her head. "No. She told me I had room in my life for two dads. I went to see him in the hospital. I had lots of anger towards him. I was prepared not to like him but he surprised me."
Duncan says questioningly, "How so?"
Veronica answers, "He seemed genuinely happy I was his daughter. He seemed to really want to get to know me, the real me. At first I was skeptical but I now feel that he does love me and does want to have me as a daughter."
Duncan nods and says matter of factly, "He does. What do you feel about him?"
Veronica says quietly but with emotion, "I love him Duncan. I don't have the same feelings I have for my Dad because well my Dad is my Dad. Do you know what I mean?"
Duncan nods, "Yeah. You have so many memories with your Dad and your relationship is built on a foundation of trust and love. Now that our Dad is better, you will have time to build up a foundation with him."
Veronica smiles a little. "I'd like that."
Logan has been watching their interaction. He asks, "Veronica. Have you really forgiven Jake for all he did to you?"
Veronica looks over at Logan. He can see she is being honest. "I may not be at 100% Logan, but I am getting there."
Veronica pauses and then looks at Duncan. She asks, "Do you know why your Dad was so adamant I get retested even though I had a test saying it was 99% percent sure I was a Mars?"
Duncan again shakes his head. "No. No one would tell me anything."
Veronica bites her bottom lip briefly, "Do you want to know?"
Duncan nods adamantly, "Yes, I really do Veronica."
Veronica moves closer to Duncan. She says, "I had a lot of anger towards Jake, our dad…… I thought that he knew who I was for 18 years and chose not to acknowledge me. Then he let us date even though he knew we were half-brother and sister. I thought he tried to ruin my dad even though he knew it would also hurt me. He helped cover up Lilly's murder to protect you and it seemed like he was protecting you at Lilly's and my expense."
She pauses and adds, "Then he had that paternity test my Dad did faked so he didn't have to admit I was his daughter. He got sick and no one matched him so he forced me to be retested. I thought he only admitted I was his daughter because he was ill and needed my bone marrow."
Duncan says, "I can see why you didn't want to change your name or be tested."
Veronica explains, "I was still trying to get over the truth about Lilly's death, my ordeal with Aaron, Dad's injuries and," she looks at Logan briefly, "Logan's and my breakup."
Logan watching her can see her eyes are filled with pain. She takes a breath and then adds, "Then I find out that Dad is not my biological Dad." She shakes her head. The boys know how hard the news must have hit her.
Veronica pauses for a second. Her voice is full of pain when she continues, "My Dad is the most important person in my life. No matter what happened to me, he was there. He has been the only person I could always truly count on. He was the only person that I knew truly loved me. My friends turned against me. My mother left. But my dad was there. "
Her voice breaks a little as she adds emotionally, "He walked through fire to save me. He means everything to me."
Logan sees the strong emotions Veronica is trying to hold in. He wonders briefly what it would be like to be loved like that by a parent.
Veronica pauses again then says, "At first I didn't believe the reports. I had a paper that was 99.9% positive I was a Mars. I didn't want to be retested."
Veronica looks at Duncan. "My dad was still in the hospital and I couldn't work because of all the paparazzi. The bills were piling up and we were behind on rent. Mrs. Fennel fed me or I wouldn't have been able to eat."
Logan feels his stomach clench. He knew that Veronica and her dad didn't have much money but he hadn't realized how desperate the situation was for her. God he felt stupid about his unhappiness over the summer. Veronica was going through so much more than him.
Duncan says regretfully, "I had no idea things were that hard for you."
Veronica looks Duncan in the eye and says, "Your mom did."
Duncan looks taken aback and asks sharply, "What do you mean?"
Veronica explains, "She came to me and offered me a lot of money to be tested. She said the money would help with the hospital bills especially since I couldn't work."
Duncan exclaims, "I can't believe it!"
Veronica waits a few seconds while Duncan processes what she has said, Then she continues, "I didn't want any Kane money but I had to do something. I needed to work so I called my aunt in Portland and she agreed to let me live with her for the summer. So I closed up the apartment and moved our stuff into the apartment behind the Fennel's house. I went to Portland to work. I hated leaving my Dad but Mrs. Fennel said she would look after him. "
Logan interjects, "What made you be tested then?"
Veronica looks puzzled and explains to Logan. "The courts ordered the paternity testing. I knew the results before I went to Portland."
Logan shakes his head and says, "No, what made you have the bone marrow testing?"
Veronica looks down at Back Up and scratches his ear. She says quietly, "My dad." She sighs and adds, "When I got home from Portland, I moved in with Dad in the apartment behind the Fennel house. I missed him so much and I was so worried about him."
She looks at Logan and says, "He looked so frail." There is a short pause and she adds, "I had never seen my dad frail………… he was always so strong. I guess he was like a superhero to me. Always defending the weak and making the world a safer place. I was so shocked to see him still so pale and tired."
Veronica looks out over the ocean for a minute then she continues musingly, "You know the second he saw me, he opened his arms to give me a big hug. He whispered in my ear, I missed my baby girl."
She looks at Duncan and Logan and says, "I started bawling and I just couldn't let go of him."
The two boys feel pressure in their chests at the image of Veronica hanging onto her father and not wanting to let go. Veronica looks at her hands continuing with her story. "He just held me and waited until I finished crying. Then he said "You are my daughter and you will always be my daughter; a blood test doesn't change that." I felt this band around my heart loosen. I guess I knew he loved me in my head but my heart was terrified he would leave me too."
Logan's heart constricts at her obvious pain and fears about being abandoned. He knows how it feels to have everyone you love leave you.
Veronica looks at them. She says, "I asked my dad if he knew about Jake and my mom's affair and if he knew I might not be his biological daughter."
Veronica shakes her head in wonder. "Of course he knew. He knew the affair continued all those years. Dad knew I might not be his biological daughter, yet he stayed with my mom and put up with the affair and her drinking."
Veronica looks at the ocean and then back at them. "I asked him why he put up with it and do you know what he said?"
They both shake their heads.
Veronica continues, "He said I was worth it."
Logan and Duncan can see why Veronica is so devoted to her dad. They are amazed at how much he put up with to be with Veronica. Logan thinks that if he were Veronica, he would have sided with her dad too after Lilly died.
Veronica gets teary. "I knew I was lucky to have a dad like him. I feel humbled by his love and so grateful to him for being there for me. I am so glad he is getting a second chance at love with Alicia. She's a good person and she loves him like he deserves to be loved."
Veronica continues her voice hardening, "I was emancipated and I saw no reason to give my bone marrow to a man who not only cared nothing about me but had no qualms about hurting me to get what he wanted. It was poetic justice that he needed something he couldn't buy. I hated him for making me change my name. I hated Celeste for sending the lawyers to offer me money to be tested. I hated the press for following me around all the time and writing stories that I was asking for millions of dollars to be tested."
Veronica looks directly at them. She says, "Lilly was right. My life had become about hate."
Logan and Duncan begin to see why Veronica was having so many difficulties after her talk with Lilly. Veronica continues, "My dad told me that he thought I should be tested. He said that if a stranger needed my bone marrow, I would give it to him because it is the right thing to do. Dad told me that I had to look past the things I felt Jake had done to me and do what was right. Dad said to be tested and see if I matched because I may not even match; Duncan didn't. So I went and had the test done. Dad went with me and he told me he was proud of me."
Veronica looks up the beach and then back at her dog. "While I was waiting for the results, I asked Dad how he could forgive Jake for all he did to him and Dad said that he feels sorry for Jake. Dad said that he got to be my dad all these years and Jake missed out. Dad said that Jake's money and power can't get him back what he missed with not being there watching me grow up and being loved by me. He said that he wouldn't trade his life with me for anything and that he was so grateful for everything he had. I realized I may have issues with my biological parents but I had no complaints about being a Mars. I wouldn't change my childhood for anything." She looks at Logan and Duncan. Her voice is full of conviction. They can see that her Dad really influenced her.
Veronica continues her story, "When the results came back, I went in and signed the forms for donation. I thought I would give the marrow to Jake and hopefully it would help him. Then I would go back to my life with my dad and wait for the wedding so I could move in with my new mom and brothers."
Duncan finishes for her. "Then you had the allergic reaction and saw Lilly."
Veronica nods, "Yes. She made me see things differently."
They are all quiet for a minute.
Logan finally asks, "What made you change your mind about Jake? Why did you move in with him?"
Veronica says, "After my talk with Lilly, I had some doubts about when Jake found out I was his daughter. I asked my Dad to help me find out the truth."
Veronica looks at Duncan. She says, "We found out that Jake did not know for sure I was his daughter until Celeste told him after Duncan did not match. Celeste and Clarence faked my paternity test so I was a Mars. Celeste and Clarence had a test done on me when I started dating Duncan because Celeste had suspected I might be our Dad's since she knew about mom and his affair."
Duncan asks heavily, "Are you sure?"
Veronica nods, "I can show you the proof Duncan, but yes I am sure!"
Veronica pauses and then continues, "After I found out the truth, I felt a little better about being Jake's biological daughter. During our visits, I could see he cares about me and really wants to get to know me."
She bites her bottom lip and then continues, "My dad talked to me and told me that I should think about what I wanted to do. If I wanted to get to know my biological dad, he was OK with that. I decided that I only had a few more months in Neptune and that I may not see my Dad or Jake much once I moved. I thought about all the memories I had with my Dad and how we had such a strong bond. I thought that maybe this was my last chance to get some memories with my biological dad, to really get to know him."
Duncan is silent. Veronica reaches over and takes his hand. She says, "Duncan I am not really angry with Celeste anymore."
Logan says in surprise, "Really Veronica?"
Veronica smiles, "Yes. I know that doesn't sound like me but I have learned a lot this year. My mom and Celeste hated each other in high school. The hate continued on when Jake married Celeste. Mom was hurt and Celeste never really felt like Jake loved her. Then when Mom continued her affair with Jake for years, everyone was hurting and no one was happy. Once there is so much history of hate, it is really hard to give up the cycle of "making the other side pay". I don't agree with what Celeste did but I can see how she thought she had to protect her family. After seeing what I had become with my semi feud with some of the O9ers, I realized I was just like my mom and Celeste. My judgment was clouded by anger and desire to make them pay."
Logan sees the calmness in Veronica's face and body. He sees that she really is no longer upset with Jake and Celeste. He knows that she has totally let her feud go with the 09ers. He asks, "Why did you go to Pan then?"
Veronica says as if she was expecting that question, "I thought it would be better for Duncan not to have people constantly remembering how he used to date his half sister. I also thought it would be better for you not to have to see me everyday. You would get over me quicker. I owed you that." She adds, "Also it was easier for me to start fresh at Pan. I could be the person I wanted without everyone remembering what a bitch I was last year."
Logan cannot believe how Veronica started at a new school her senior year to help him and Duncan yet he can see the truth in her eyes. He asks, "Do you like it there?"
Veronica nods, "Yes. I have made some friends and I have been busy. I miss seeing Wallace, Mac and Meg everyday at school." There's a hesitation and she adds, "I also miss you guys. I feel like I am constantly in the tabloids and that makes it a little tougher at school but generally everyone has been pretty accepting of me."
Veronica looks at Logan who is looking at her surprised. She laughs a little, "I am still the same me. I just try not to let anger rule my judgments all the time. I still get mad. I still make lots of mistakes. However I am learning to do the stupid things less often."
Duncan asks quietly, "You really aren't mad at my Mom?"
Veronica shakes her head, "No, I'm not. It's funny. Once I started looking past the hurt and anger, I saw things about her I liked. She belongs to a lot of charities that help the poor. She works hard at these charities and doesn't say anything about it. She held her family together when a lot of women would have divorced our Dad. A lot of those years were before Kane Enterprises made it big so it wasn't about the money. She put up with a lot of media attention about our Dad's affair on the idea that I might match him. She had no way of being sure or even reasonable sure since Duncan didn't. She just wanted him to get better. I know we will never be close but I think she is starting to look at me as Veronica, not just as Lianne's daughter. Do you know what I mean?"
Duncan nods, "Yes, I think I do. I don't know if I can look at her after what she has done though."
Veronica says earnestly, "Actually I am more upset with our Dad and my Mom than Celeste. What they did was very wrong and really hurt Celeste. What did she really do that was so wrong?" She pauses and then answers, "She ignored that I might be Jake Kane's daughter but so did my own mother and biological father. Once we started dating she had a test done to find out for sure. When it came back, she told you the results. She was the only responsible one. My mom and our Dad did nothing when they both must have suspected it was possible we were related. Celeste had the paternity test Dad sent in faked. That was wrong but I imagine she knew my Mom was out of the picture and I would be happy to be a Mars."
Veronica looks at Duncan and says, "Duncan and I were through by then and wouldn't be getting back together." She looks directly at Logan and Duncan saying, "Celeste did not keep me from getting to know our Dad. He and my Mom did that. They both knew it was possible and did nothing. I have some issues with how our Dad sacrificed my Dad knowing it would hurt me and knowing I might be his daughter."
Duncan nods and says, "I see what you mean."
Veronica looks at her hands and says, "They all made a lot of mistakes. We can't go back and change what happened. We have to just move on now and make the best of it."
Duncan says quietly, "I am glad I have you now."
Veronica hugs Duncan. "Me too."
After they finish hugging, Logan asks, "Did Lilly talk to you about us?"
Veronica looks down at her hands. She stays silent.
Logan says questioningly, "Veronica?"
Veronica looks up at Logan. She says, "Lilly was not upset we dated Logan."
Logan looks closely at Veronica. He can see she is not telling him everything. Logan says, "I know there is something else Ronnie. Tell me."
Veronica looks at Logan and says quietly, "It is all moot point now Logan." Veronica looks at her watch and stands up. "I have to go soon. I have a karate lesson in 45 minutes." She looks down at Logan and Duncan. She says a little formally, "Thanks for listening to me. I feel better now I have told someone."
Duncan stands up. He moves so he is right in front of her. He says, "You know you can talk to me anytime?"
Veronica smiles at Duncan. She says gratefully, "I know and thanks."
Logan stands also and looks at Veronica. He is standing a few feet away. "You can talk to me anytime too."
Veronica looks at Duncan. She says, "Can I talk to Logan alone for a minute?"
Duncan looks at Logan and then Veronica. He says, "Sure. I have to go get Meg for dinner anyways. See at home later Veronica. See you at the restaurant Logan?"
Logan looks over at Duncan and says, "Sure, I'll see you there."
Veronica and Logan both watch Duncan walk to his car. Veronica pulls the ball out of her pocket and throws it for Back Up.
Logan turns towards Veronica. They stand a couple of feet apart. Veronica looks up at Logan. She admits, "Lilly did talk to me about you. She told me she really did love you despite what she did. She told me that she wanted to have fun and she didn't think of anything but that. She told me she knows she really hurt you. She told me that she wants you to be happy."
Logan just looks closely at Veronica focusing on what she is saying with that intent look in his brown eyes. Veronica remembers that look of total focus from when they dated. He always seemed to make her feel like she was the most important thing in the world to him. Veronica adds, "She wanted me to tell you she is sorry for what she did."
Logan stays entirely focused on what Veronica is saying but lets Veronica tell him what she wants to say without interruption.
Veronica looks out at the ocean. When Logan can see she is not going to continue, he asks, "What else did she say Veronica? I know there is more."
Veronica turns back to Logan and says, "That's all she said about you Logan."
Logan looks at Veronica and says shrewdly, "Did she talk to you about us?"
Veronica looks a little defensive. She says, "It doesn't matter now Logan. It's water under the bridge."
Logan quietly says, "I would like to know though."
Veronica: thinks for a few seconds and then says, "If I am ever able to talk about it it would probably be with you. I hope you can understand that right now I don't want to talk about it."
Logan sees she is not ready to talk about it. He feels frustrated but he sighs knowing that Veronica can be stubborn and she won't talk about it if she doesn't want to. He accepts that and says, "I can wait Veronica."
Veronica steps closer to Logan and looks at his face. She says earnestly, "I want to be your friend more than anything Logan."
Logan's eyes flash as he looks down at her. He correctly reads her expression and says, "I am sensing a but coming up here."
Veronica smiles slightly that Logan knows her so well. She says, "But I can't right now."
Veronica takes a deep breath bracing herself for the rest of the conversation. She knows she owes it to Logan to be honest. "I am still in love with you. It hurts too much to see you moving on and happy with someone else."
Logan opens his mouth to speak. Veronica holds up her hand forestalling him. "Don't get me wrong. I am happy for you. I just can't see you right now."
Veronica takes Logan's hand and looks down at it. She says quietly, "You are a great friend and I would be very lucky and proud to have you as my friend."
Veronica looks up and meets his gaze. His eyes are shimmering with emotion. She says, "I just need a little more time. I can only hope that when I am ready, you will still want to be my friend too."
Logan seeing the pain in her eyes and her strong emotions says, "I don't know what to say Ronnie."
Veronica briefly hugs Logan. She pulls back and says, "You don't have to say anything."
She looks up the beach where Back Up is chasing some birds. She whistles for him. He immediately turns and starts running towards her. Veronica looks at Logan and he meets her gaze. She says quietly, "Bye Logan. Take care of yourself."
Veronica turns and walks back up the beach towards her Dad's place.
Logan whispers as he watches he walk away, "Bye Ronnie. You take care too."
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I know this is very long. I didn't want to split this scene up. I wanted to keep the whole scene together........ You know what to do.