Disclaimer – I do not own the characters/settings/situations of Final Fantasy 8. Oh well…
This story, and the ones to be posted with it, are 'snapshots' of little scenes that I imagined while playing the game. I hope everyone likes my quirky interpretations of the characters. :)
Squall's a little more OoC than usual here, but that's okay with me. I hope my dear readers don't mind either...
Tour
"And for those who arrive late for hotdogs, this is what happens," Squall finished his 'lecture' and gestured for Rinoa to turn around. In silence, the duo watched as the student on cafeteria duty told Zell that they were out of hotdogs.
Taking a few dejected steps away from the counter, Zell dropped to his knees and leaned over to smack his fists to the ground as he exclaimed "why?!!" His face dropped until he was mere inches from whacking his nose into the ground. "How have I offended the food gods so badly that they deprive me of the almighty hotdog?!"
"Food gods?" echoed Rinoa with a giggle.
Nodding sagely, Squall observed, "Zell's acting particularly dramatic today, it seems." Leaning over he whispered, "sometimes the people on cafeteria duty lie to him just to see his reaction."
"Why? Cruel, cruel world, why dost thou torment me? Is it because I defied the laws of tradition on my last train ride?" Zell continued, apparently oblivious to the laughter his scene was creating.
"The 'laws of tradition' he speaks of are letting Selphie into the main part of the train first and listening to her sing this really odd song," Squall clarified. Rinoa dissolved completely into laughter as she nicked a chair from a nearby table to sit on as she watched.
"Oh, look," the girl on cafeteria duty exclaimed, "I was wrong. There is one plate of hotdogs left." Holding out the plate, she waited patiently for Zell to stand and accept the offering.
"Thank you, oh blessed angel," Zell told the girl solemnly as he snagged the plate of hot dogs.
Unable to take anymore, Rinoa fell out of her chair from laughing too hard. Dazed, she sat on the floor, giggling and struggling for breath.
Squall stole her vacant chair and twisted it around so that he could sit on it backwards. "You were saying something rather derogatory earlier about my ability to give tours. Would you care to refute it now?"
"H-how can you stay so… so serious and still tease me?" Rinoa demanded, finally starting to calm down. She didn't get up, but she did narrow her eyes slightly at the brunette sitting in her chair.
"Dead-pan delivery," Squall answered with a dismissive wave of his hand. "If I'm anything other than serious, certain skittish people, who shall remain unnamed to protect the idiots, start proclaiming that the apocalypse is coming and that everyone should build a personal nuclear fallout facility."
Rinoa snickered as she stood, but managed not to dissolve into laughter again. "So, what's next on the agenda?"
"The salad bar," Squall rose to his feet and put the chair back where Rinoa found it. "I missed breakfast and now its lunch."
"Sounds like a good idea. I'm starving, too," Rinoa agreed. "Will you show me around the quad after lunch?"
"Sure…"
A/N Okay… so it didn't happen like this in the game… but don't tell me that the idea of Zell worshipping food gods isn't funny. My test audience (a.k.a., my friends at school) thought it was hilarious. Can you imagine? The vending machines are Zell's alters to the food gods, the students who land cafeteria duty are the angels, and anyone who insults the hot dogs are damned to food god hell.