Disclaimer: I don't own Skins, but Christmas is less than 3 months away... *nudge nudge*wink wink*
Summary: "Know you didn't bring me out here to drown, So why am I ten feet under and upside down, Barely surviving has become my purpose, Cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface." (Lyrics by Blyss/Lifehouse - Storm)
Thank you to everyone for your wonderful comments, I appreciate each and every one of them. I have now come up with a complete plan for this story so I know exactlt where it's going and how to get there. Which is how I have a third chapter now when there was a big gap between one and two, lol.
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Ten Feet Under
Chapter Three
Three hours remained until Emily was due to meet Naomi having left work early with a migraine. The day had so far been a bad one. She'd woken to her son being sick which changed the whole day. Normally she'd have taken it off work and taken care of him, any excuse to avoid another mind-numbing day at the office. Instead she'd called her parents and her mother came over to sit with him.
"You look tired love," her mother had stated, pushing her hair behind her ear.
"I'm fine," she'd replied, answering the same way she always had.
According to Jenna Fitch, Emily always looked tired or on the verge of a cold or something. So many times she wanted to tell her that it wasn't sleep deprivation, or being sick that made her look that way. It was life.
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The top of the car park was deserted, as it usually was. It made Emily feel comforted knowing that no one was there. No one knew what she wanted to do, or could stop it. She was in control, complete control over the result of her existence and it was a thought that only made her feel better. Cars travelled back and forth below, a woman with a pram dropped a bag and almost tripped over her own feet retrieving it, a man with a walking stick hobbled along and two children were laughing at him. Life was tedious and her observations only supported her thoughts. In an ideal world she'd have jumped months ago, years ago. But something had always pulled her back from the ledge, kept her standing there longer than was possible for someone who actually wanted to go through with it. It didn't stop her from thinking it and as the three hours slid by, Emily barely noticed the sun beginning to set until a vibration in her pocket pulled her from her reverie.
"It's seven twenty," came a voice, that familiar voice that belonged to Naomi; that made Emily feel like jumping, but also stopped her.
"Oh," she whispered into the phone, "I'm running late, sorry, I'll be there in ten minutes."
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The evening began with a hug. A simple connection of two old friends reuniting properly after ten years. The restaurant Naomi had chosen was small and intimate, one that in any other reality, Emily would have enjoyed to share with a romantic companion. Conversation was almost non-existent until the food arrived and they finally had something to break the ice.
"It's good," Emily muttered, though her appetite was anything but suitable for the large portion.
"I come here a lot, it's my favourite place," Naomi offered.
It was awkward and difficult. Naomi kept looking at her, as though she expected Emily to start the conversation. It had never been her strong point and she simply looked back, bewildered. There was nothing she could think of to say and nothing she wanted to hear about.
"You have a daughter?" Naomi finally asked, referring back to their first meeting.
"Yes," was all Emily could muster.
"How old is she?"
"Three."
"Is she an only child?"
Naomi was trying, but the painful look on her face suggested that she wasn't enjoying making conversation with someone who wasn't willing to give much back. The food in front of Emily had such a strong smell that made her want to vomit, but she moved her fork through it, making it look like she was interested in the meal.
"I have a son too," Emily offered, forcing words out of her mouth.
"How old?"
"Seven."
"Wow."
That look in Naomi's eyes mirrored the one she'd had when Emily informed her she was married. It was glazed and somewhat judgemental. It didn't escape her notice that Naomi was probably doing maths in her head, figuring out that she had her first child at just twenty-one; being pregnant barely two years after they'd been together.
"You're married to a man, right?" Naomi questioned, prompting a slight nod.
There was something significant about the question. Naomi's initial reaction had been obvious. But it suddenly occurred to Emily that Naomi hadn't been sure and that maybe she'd been thinking about it the whole two weeks since they'd met.
"Do you have a husband or a boyfriend?" Emily asked, filling the silence that followed the previous discussion.
"A girlfriend."
A girlfriend. Naomi was gay, or bisexual at least. It shouldn't have been a surprise after what had happened in college. But it was. Naomi had been the one who wasn't sure, the one who struggled to accept that she cared about Emily, or any girl for that matter. She thought about the Love Ball and regretted it instantly when her chest tightened and tears threatened her.
"I didn't realise," she mumbled, taking the smallest bite of her food as possible, forcing herself to swallow.
"Had to accept it some time," Naomi answered, smiling. "Didn't expect you to be waving the straight flag."
"I'm happy," Emily defended, her usual answer to a very different question.
"I just didn't see it happening, you were so sure in college," Naomi muttered, looking best pleased at being shot down.
"College was a long time ago."
Naomi shook her head, "Ten years isn't that long."
"It is for me."
The two women stared at each other and Emily could feel Naomi noticing her for the first time. Her red hair was dull and lifeless, nowhere near the shining glory she'd had in college. At just twenty eight she was still young, but the years had aged her beyond her years. It was a surprise when Naomi's eyes grew red and she frowned at Emily with a look of guilt and sorrow.
"This," she began, rubbing her eyes, "You're not the Emily I knew."
"People move on," Emily replied, taking a deep breath to push down the tears that were again threatening to surface.
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The street outside was cold and wet from an evening of rainfall. Emily instantly regretted parking her car so far from the restaurant when Naomi offered to walk her there. The rest of the meal had been almost silent with many looks being passed between the two of them. They eventually reached Emily's car and it was a blessing until Naomi opened her mouth.
"Are you bisexual or did you just jump back over the fence?"
It felt invasive and wrong for Naomi to be questioning her after everything she'd been through in their earlier years. It wasn't any of her business anymore. It hadn't been any of her business since the day she didn't turn up to the Love Ball and Emily's ability to admit her sexuality had been torn up.
"I'm not gay," she replied, a well rehearsed answer that had only ever stayed in her mind.
"I don't believe people turn that kind of thing on or off," Naomi responded, doubting her answer instantly.
"It's true."
But it wasn't. She couldn't think that way though, or she'd break up inside and everything would fall apart. It was easier to want to throw herself off a building than have to face what she knew deep down was true.
"I guess I'll see you around," Naomi smiled a weak smile and turned to walk away.
The arrival of the blonde in Emily's life had brought on the prospect of continual bad days. It was like she controlled every inch of Emily's emotions when she'd appeared back in her life. Only, having spent the evening together, for once Emily didn't feel like she was having a bad day. She'd ignored the truth and lacked appetite, but those few short hours in Naomi's presence made her feel considerably better. If she thought about her family, it made things worse. But if she singled her thoughts to her and Naomi, there was an overwhelming urge to return to the life she'd once known.
"Naomi?" she called, prompting her old friend to turn and face her.
There were tears in Naomi's eyes, distinct droplets of liquid that slid down her cheeks before being brushed away. Emily couldn't understand why she was crying, or why Naomi's tears made her want to sob twice as hard.
"I lied," Emily continued.
It didn't really matter what she'd lied about or why she'd done it. It made her heart race as she moved nearer and Naomi took steps to close the gap. Emily's singular thoughts imagined Naomi in college, imagined the one time they'd slept together as teenagers and reminded her of everything she'd ever needed to be happy. Nothing stopped her in the moment she cupped Naomi's face in her hands, or as she'd reached upwards to those soft lips that were a perfect fit.
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I hope that you'll review this chapter, I'm interested on feedback for this story because it feels like I'm writing it differently to how I normally write stories, more angsty, if at all possible.