Disclaimer: I don't own Skins, but Christmas is less than 3 months away... *nudge nudge*wink wink*

Summary: "Know you didn't bring me out here to drown, So why am I ten feet under and upside down, Barely surviving has become my purpose, Cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface." (Lyrics by Blyss/Lifehouse - Storm)

Thank you all for the wonderful comments. I actually thought I'd uploaded this chapter, but think I was just trying to decide whether it would fit in alright or not. Apologies for not getting it up sooner. Also sorry it's not very long, I can't seem to write long chapters with this story.

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Ten Feet Under

Chapter Four

It's not something she expected in a million years. Her mind was telling her that she wasn't this person anymore, that she'd moved on from what she could only call her "gay phase" because trying to distinguish it as anything else made it more than she could handle it being.

"There's a hotel," Emily was whispering, completely contradicting everything she was thinking.

"I," Naomi wasn't so sure, her hesitation speaking volumes whilst Emily's head, though extremely messed up, felt strangely clear.

"You can't deny you want this," she filled the silence, the only true words she'd felt all night.

There was a look of defiance in Naomi's eyes, she was taking her time to answer, appearing to work things out in her mind before letting her lips curl and her fingers clutch Emily's. There's shaking and it's difficult to establish if they're Emily's or the girl she thought she'd never be doing this with again.

"Are you sure?"

The question was brief, in between kisses, in between clothes being removed and bodies being pushed together. It was ignored as actions spoke louder than words. But in all truth Emily wasn't sure, but she couldn't stop herself and something inside of her was taking over her ability to think. It all happened so quickly and though it should have felt wrong, Emily knew that it had happened for a reason. She'd hidden away her feelings for years, not once letting herself admit that she needed something other than her husband. But having Naomi return to her life had broken it somehow. She couldn't deny anymore that she was unhappy with her past choices because no matter how many times she'd denied her sexuality as a teenager, she had never been able to deny it in front of Naomi.

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Eventually Emily couldn't deny the things in her brain any longer and her husband and children came to mind, her parents, her sister, everyone who'd made her believe that the life she had now was the right one.

"You okay?" Emily nodded a response.

Lying in Naomi's arms was a mistake in every possible way. Except that it felt like the most naturally thing ever. It was hard to feel guilty when her dangerously fragile heart and mind were slowly repairing themselves with every moment under the pale woman's gentle touch. Years of sex with a man she had only lukewarm feelings for did nothing for her sexual appetite. Under the softer touch of a female, the only person she had ever loved, her body reacted in a million different ways as she was brought to a high that no drug had ever reached.

"You have a girlfriend," Emily whispered, making the already tense situation feel even more so.

"You have a husband and children," Naomi put out there, almost battling with her over the things they'd tried to ignore.

It was true, they had lives outside of the small hotel room, lives that consisted of more than homework and annoying parents. The secretive affair wasn't a teenage crush that would upset a few people, it was a dangerous game that could tear families apart. Emily's more than Naomi's. With every piece of her will, Emily could not find the energy to leave the bed, to leave Naomi.

"Not so straight after all," Naomi put out there, making Emily tense up in her grasp.

Straight. It had been a simple statement that Emily wished she could have felt comfortable with. She was straight. She was as straight as a tree that was sheltered from the wind. Only she wasn't. But the more she let her heart believe that, the harder it was to escape the fact that she lived a lie and always had.

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It felt like a dirty, sordid affair when they left after only a few hours, replacing their clothes in a hurried motion. It was getting late and Emily knew that Katie wouldn't cover for her as she had no idea that she was anywhere other than her marital home. Bobbie was expecting her home, as he did every Tuesday after her evening with her sister. Even when she had good days, Emily didn't like staying up late because her energy levels were very low and had been since she'd given birth to her son. It had been a stepping stone between the past she'd pretended wasn't hers and a future she wished she didn't have and knowing that had knocked her down further than anything she'd faced before or since.

"Bobbie?" she called, entering the lounge where the television was still on.

He was asleep on the sofa. She turned off the television and rolled her eyes as she caught a glance at her husband's hand in his pyjama bottoms. Flashes of the evening, of Naomi's hand sliding down her underwear caught her off guard and she shook her head to push them away. Seeing Bobbie like that repulsed her and even though she was still straight and still wasn't anywhere near gay, she knew that it was and always had been just men that repulsed her. The house was quiet but Emily went upstairs to check on her children anyway. Her son was flat out in a similar position to his father, but thankfully looking more like a little boy than a vile grown man. The moment she entered her daughter's room the little girl rose from her sleep and reached out as she called for her mummy.

"I'm here baby," she smiled, wrapping her arms around her body and sliding onto the half-sized bed.

The silent room made her feel more comfortable in her own body and she noted how strange it was to enjoy silence rather than the constant conversations that some people felt the need to have. She didn't want to think about what she'd done any longer, opting to think of her child sleeping in her arms. Until a message roused her from her near-sleep.

'I didn't know seeing you again would be so fucking fantastic, or fantastic fucking ;) when can we do it again? Sorry if I made your life harder, N xo'

Each word made her heart twist and gave her an immense pain similar to the one she often felt stood atop the multi-storey. Naomi was sorry for making her life harder. It was a joke, it made Emily laugh and wonder if there was any possible way her life could have gotten any harder when she was already on the edge. Still, she texted back.

'You lit up a very dull world, but this can't happen again. Emily.'

Even after everything that had happened that night she fell back into her life like it was her favourite pair of trousers and she wondered, just for a second as her eyes grew heavy, if she'd dreamt up the whole thing as a way to escape her sorry existence.

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I hope this chapter isn't too far out of left field. It felt right and I know it might be a bit soon and feel a bit wrong, but I think that's kind of the point. It's not right, but it's not wrong. Lol. Reviews please?!