Title: Equally Cursed and Blessed
Authors: Caer (caerfree@tde.com) and Triste (TragedyandComedy@aol.com)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Yaoi, violence, angst
Pairings: YukixKyou, ShigurexHatori, HaruxMomiji
Status: Work in progress (part 6)
Disclaimer: Nope, still not ours.
As always, thanks to everyone who's reviewed this fic! ^___^
~~
Kyou looked up when he heard the door open and he frowned slightly at the look
on Yuki's face. "What's the matter?" he asked when Yuki dumped his bag roughly
down onto the table. Yuki merely unzipped his backpack and handed Kyou over a
couple of cards. Kyou took them wordlessly, opening the envelopes and pulling
out the cards they contained. The first one read, 'Hope you get better soon,
Carrot Top. Maybe the convalescence will do that brain of yours some good, but
it's doubtful. Don't let Tohru mother you too much now, you're not worth it.'
Kyou snorted under his breath. "Damn Yankee." Predictably, the other card was
from Hana-chan and Kyou stared at it, feeling somewhat frightened. It was a
plain black card with a padded satin cover and a single black flower stuck to
the front of it. The message was a simple, 'wishing you and your waves a speedy
recovery.' Kyou shuddered and quickly set the card down. It was nice of
Hana-chan to send a card and all, but still, it didn't make it or her any less
creepy.
He looked up and was surprised to see that Yuki was still emptying his bag,
placing various cards, flowers and other assorted gifts onto the table. "There's
more?" he asked, confused. Yuki shook his head silently and Kyou snorted.
"Figures. I fall ill and you're the one who gets all the gifts."
"Don't think I'm enjoying it, baka neko," Yuki hissed angrily as he emptied out
his bag roughly, stuffing his books back in. "You can have them all for all I
care." Yuki eyed the cat carefully though. He looked a little bit better. He
still didn't look too energetic, but the color was coming back to his face. He
couldn't help but feel a little relief. He really had been scared two nights
ago. Kyou was looking better though, still not well enough to cause trouble, but
at least he was alive.
"How are you feeling?" He asked quietly. "Do you need anything?" Suddenly he
realized that no one was around. "Where is everyone?"
"Tohru's gone to work at her part-time job, dummy," Kyou said, rolling his eyes.
Honestly, was the work Yuki did for the student council so enthralling that it
made him lose track of the time and what was going on around him? "Shigure's
busy hiding from his editor. I think he's been trying to use me as an excuse to
delay his newest manuscript." He made a face. "And for your information, I am
fine. Bored...fed up...I'm sick of staring at these four walls and I want to get
out...but I'm fine. Thank you for asking."
Yuki glared. "I know where Tohru is, idiot, I was talking about everyone else."
Yuki said, but not with as much bite as usual. He could imagine the usually
energetic boy was going stir crazy being in this house, for so long. He was
definitely still too weak to move, but maybe with someone else here, they could
carry him outside for a while. "What about Kazuma?"
"He went out to the store," Kyou replied. Yuki raised his eyebrows as if waiting
for a longer response. "He went to buy me some mint tea. Whenever he or I got
sick while we were in the mountains, he always used to make mint tea. I don't
know why, but it makes me feel better. It...It reminds me of being with him, of
when I was happy." He looked away, wondering why he'd chosen to reveal so much
information and to Yuki no less.
"He'll probably be back in a while. He didn't want to leave me on my own, but I
promised him I'd be fine. Really, he's worse than Tohru. I'm not on my deathbed
or anything. It's not like I need people at my beck and call morning, noon and
night." He didn't mention that he kind of liked being looked after though. It
would just make him look stupid and the last thing he needed to do was make
himself look any weaker than he already was.
Yuki looked at the flustered boy, eyebrow raised, shocked that he would say so
much without yelling at him. When he was happy? Yuki wondered if he was happy at
all now. Until he had shown up after training in the woods and fighting bears,
Yuki had not seen him for years, except at the New Year parties when Kyou would
challenge him to fights. They hated each other. Yuki had never cared whether
Kyou was happy or not. For some reason though, if Kyou was unhappy living here,
he felt that he certainly must have some blame in it. Though the stupid cat
brought just as much of it on himself. Still.
"You had all of us scared," he said quietly. He picked up one of his cards,
reading the sugary sweet message on the front: "Dear Yuki-kun, I'm really really
sorry your cousin's sick. Will you go out with me?" It was surrounded by pink
hearts. Same old game. Damn this curse.
"Akito, he...he had no right. I'm sorry that he did this to you."
Kyou looked up, startled both by the tone of Yuki's voice and by what he had
said. Yuki had chosen to look at one of his many cards rather than at him, but
Kyou could tell that he was being sincere. "Don't be sorry," he said stiffly,
lowering his gaze to the cards that Uo-chan and Hana-chan had sent him. He
fingered the corner of the one from Hana-chan, feeling how smooth the satin was
underneath his fingertips.
"It wasn't like he hasn't done anything like this before. It just...never turned
out this bad." He cleared his throat. "And anyway, I'm getting better now! I can
sit up and everything! Although I'm not supposed to," he added sheepishly. "I'm
fine, really. Stop worrying so much. It's making me feel weird," he said, only
half-joking. Yuki glanced up from his card suddenly and stared at him.
Kyou felt his cheeks growing hot with awkwardness and embarrassment, but he
didn't look away, just kept his gaze fixed on Yuki's. He didn't think he'd ever
stared at Yuki for this long before. Usually, he was so focused on when and how
he could hit him somehow in order to start a fight, but now that they were just
sitting quietly here like this, he was starting to notice things that he never
had done before. Things like how long Yuki's eyelashes really were, or how soft
his skin looked.
Kyou often said he looked like a girl...but he'd never mentioned Yuki was pretty
as in girl pretty. Not that he'd ever mention that though. Kyou found himself
puzzled by his own thoughts. Since when had he ever found Yuki pretty? He shook
his head slightly and just put it down to the drugs that Hatori was still making
him take. They were starting to make him think things and say things that he
never would have done before the accident. Feeling relieved, Kyou sighed. He
wasn't going mad after all. He had wondered...
Yuki looked back at the stupid card, feeling a little strange. Kyou had the most
striking red eyes. You could get lost in them. Yuki found himself thinking
crazy thoughts, like how slender Kyou was, and how delicate his collarbone
looked. And just now, Kyou had been trying to make him feel better...him. Maybe
the cat wasn't all bad. Maybe, it was time to make an effort to be, if not
friends, at least civil to each other again. He found his voice.
"So, maybe when Kazuma comes back, we can take you outside, for a little while.
As scrawny as you are, I still don't think I could get you out alone," he said,
trying to sound casual. He didn't mention that he was scared to even handle
Kyou right now. He still looked fragile against the sheets they had used to
cover the pads by the table. He looked pale. Yuki had never noticed before, but
Kyou had very delicate wrists. Suddenly, he was looking at Kyou again, looking
at his red eyes, as they blinked at him confusedly.
"Hello!" An incredibly loud voice called out! "Anyone home?" They both looked
up, the stillness broken.
Kyou cursed silently when Momiji's voice made itself heard and he finally broke
Yuki's gaze, staring down at the floor in embarrassment. What had happened
there? Or rather, what would have happened if Momiji hadn't arrived? Would they
just have kept staring at each other like that? Kyou felt goose bumps rising on
his arms and decided that he didn't want to know.
He didn't have much time to ponder it anyway because at that moment, the door
flung open and Momiji strode inside, carrying a tuba that was almost as big as
he was. Kyou's jaw dropped and he just stared in silence as Momiji beamed at
him. "Uh...what's that?" he asked dumbly as Haru stepped into the room and took
his place behind Momiji, holding something behind his back.
Momiji held the odd thing up brightly. "It's my tuba, Kyou! Don't you know what
a tuba looks like? I brought it to play for you! I wanna play you a song! I
wanna play, I wanna play!"
"I *know* what it is!" Kyou snapped. "I'm not *stupid*!" Momiji just stared back
at him with those huge, pleading eyes and although he didn't really like the
idea, Kyou sighed and gave in. Besides, Momiji had gone to all the effort of
dragging the damn instrument all the way here, so he may as well listen to him.
He suddenly realized that he'd never heard Momiji play the tuba before. Hell, he
hadn't even known the kid could *play* an instrument before today. "Fine, fine,"
he said, rolling his eyes. Momiji whooped with excitement and then blew a few
warm-up notes, almost blasting Kyou through the wall with the sheer volume of
it. "Um...in your own time," Kyou said weakly.
Yuki looked at his younger cousin warmly. "Momiji, the tuba is a loud
instrument. Why don't you play it out on the porch? That way we can watch you
and it won't be too loud?"
Momiji stared at him with wide eyes and nodded. "I get it. Okay, hold on." He
moved out to the porch and waved madly at them. Haru and Yuki waved back, while
Kyou watched with interest. Momiji took a deep breath and began to play. Oddly
enough, it was his own song he sang when they had gone to the hot springs and he
played it quite well, his little red cheeks puffing out and his feet marching
along to the music as he played.
A couple of the higher notes didn't quite make their full way out of the
instrument, but for the most part, it was actually quite good. Yuki couldn't
help but notice that the blond had actually grown a few inches. He was probably
as tall as Tohru now and though he was still small for his age, he seemed to
look a little more like a teenager. An extremely young teenager but a teen none
the less.
Momiji finished with a flourish and bowed, setting his tuba down and running
back in.
"Kyou, did you like it? Was it okay? I'm not very good yet." He was on his hands
and knees as he looked hopefully at his cranky cousin with his annoying huge,
gentle brown bunny eyes.
"It sounded okay to me," said Kyou with a shrug. He could see Yuki giving him a
warning stare out of the corner of his eye and he sighed, knowing what that look
meant. Momiji was still watching him hopefully and Kyou rolled his eyes again,
knowing he wasn't going to get away with simply telling Momiji that it was
'fine'. "It was okay to say that you haven't been playing it long. Everyone gets
better with practice I suppose, even you."
He paused, unsure of what to say. He had never been very good at handing out
praise or compliments, but he guessed he could give it a try for once. Besides,
if they made fun of him for saying something nice, he could always say it had
been the medication that made him say it. "It wasn't the best thing ever," he
said grudgingly. "But then it wasn't bad either. You'll get better." He frowned.
"Anyway, isn't it that song you sang for us at the hot springs? The one with the
dumb words?" He hummed under his breath. "Something, something, a frog and a dog
saying goodbye, was it? Where the Hell did you come up with lyrics like that
anyway?"
Momiji smiled softly, though he felt a little sad. He knew Kyou wasn't too good
at this, but somehow, what he said seemed okay anyway. He actually even
remembered where the song came from. Kyou was being so nice, for him and Momiji
knew it wouldn't be long before he had to tell him the truth. He doubted Kyou
would ever be nice to him again after that.
"Thank you, Kyou," he said softly.
Yuki sighed in relief as Kyou praised the small blond. He did it with about as
much grace as a hippo on acid, but at least he didn't yell at the kid.
"That was good, Momiji," he smiled. "I didn't know you had gotten so good. It
was nice of you both to visit. Eh... Haru, Kazuma wasn't around, but I was
thinking if we're careful, we could move Kyou outside for a while." He looked
down at the pale boy. "I imagine he's going crazy having to stay all day with
Shigure and not being able to get outside."
Kyou snorted. "I have a mouth, you know and I will use it to speak with."
Secretly, he was touched that Yuki could be so considerate, but he wasn't going
to say that. He glanced over at Momiji who smiled back, but for some reason, his
smile seemed a little strained. It wasn't a look Kyou was used to seeing on the
blond and it reminded him of when he'd come across him those few days ago on the
verge of being beaten up.
"Oi," he said, catching Momiji's attention. "When we go outside...you can play
some more if you want to. You're okay now...but you won't get better if you
don't practice some more." He looked away, blushing and he was grateful when
Haru and Yuki chose that moment to step up to him. They knelt down on either
side of him and slowly, carefully, they picked him up and began to carry him
outside and into the garden.
It was only a short distance away, but it felt like miles to Kyou, trying not to
put too much weight on his bruised stomach as he gasped once or twice, but
otherwise kept his mouth shut. He was relieved when the two of them finally set
him down though, Haru adjusting the blanket over him and fussing like the mother
hen Kyou knew he could be. He batted Haru's hands away impatiently and looked
over at Momiji who had picked up his tuba then.
"Go on then. Show me what else you can play," he said awkwardly, hoping that
Momiji would go back to giving him those big, sugary smiles again. It felt weird
to see the kid without them...kind of how it felt to see Yuki being so nice,
Kyou sighed inwardly. Since when had his world decided to choose now to go
off-kilter?
Yuki stared at Kyou, amazed. He must be drugged to be *that* nice to Momiji.
Then again, Kyou was in a lot of pain too. He stared at the grown forlornly,
wondering if it had been wise to move him. Then again, Kyou was so impatient, he
probably would have moved on his own and caused even more damage. As they had
moved him out, every wince or little groan of pain he let out under his breath
had cut into Yuki's conscience like a raw nerve. He felt guilty. More than he
should, but then, his going back to Akito was about the only way of getting
Kyou's bracelet back. He was sure Kyou was scared, but he was too. Kyou didn't
know. None of them did. They didn't know what Akito had done, how cruel and
horrible he had been.
He watched silently as Kyou finally managed to get the overzealous Haru from
messing with his blanket. Momiji had gotten his tuba but put it inside rather
than continue playing. He appeared a few seconds later, dragging something
behind him. Yuki couldn't quite see it.
"Haru, Haru, you forgot this!" Momiji ran up and gave Haru something, but
neither Kyou nor Yuki could tell what it was.
Haru smiled at the curious look on Kyou's face and he knelt down to the redhead,
offering the gift that he and Momiji had made. Kyou took it gingerly and stared
at his, his expression one of confusion. "It's a kite," Haru said helpfully.
"Momiji and I made it for you yesterday. We thought you might like it."
Kyou turned the kite over in his hands, running his fingers over it in awe. It
might not be the best kite that had ever been made, but he could tell that they
must have gone to a lot of effort to make it. He had no idea whether or not it
would actually be able to fly, but at least it looked pretty...kind of.
There were big clumps of multi-colored sparkles stuck in strategic places on the
kite, but the thing that made him smile the most were the little animal shapes
that had been pasted on. Four crude figures of a cat, a mouse, a cow and a
rabbit were stuck on each corner of the kite, the cat on the north point of the
kite, the mouse underneath it and the cow and the rabbit pointing out east and
west.
Kyou ran one fingertip lightly over the little cat figure and bit his lip. He
looked up at Haru and then at Momiji and felt a tiny smile break out on his
face. "God only knows if this thing could actually fly," he said. "But...it
looks really nice." He dropped his head, again feeling touched. He couldn't
remember the last time someone had given him a gift and never one as thoughtful
as this. "Thanks...I...It's nice," he mumbled, not looking up. "Thank you."
The company was comfortably silent. Yuki watched Kyou as his hands lingered upon
the small gift and he suddenly felt guilty for not even bothering with getting a
card or something himself. Before, he wouldn't have given it a second thought,
but that image of Kyou bleeding and weak in his arms still haunted him. No
matter how hard he tried, he couldn't dredge up the usual hatred of the cat.
Because the fact that they had almost lost him somehow made Yuki realize that no
matter how much he still hated the boy, he didn't want him to go away. He had no
idea what that meant.
"Kyou," Momiji said in his gentle voice, breaking the silence before it became
uncomfortable. "If you hold the string, I'll try to get it up in the air. It
should fly, right Haru?"
"We won't know unless we try," Haru said mildly, still smiling. He gently took
the kite from Kyou and wound the string around his wrist. "Hold onto that," he
instructed, handing the kite back to Momiji. At his nod, Momiji began tearing
off through the garden, trying to get the kite to go up in the air. It just
wasn't windy enough though and after a few failed attempts, Haru trotted up to
Momiji and knelt down before him. "Climb up on my back," he said, waiting until
Momiji had a firm hold of his neck with one arm and the kite clasped tightly in
his free hand.
Once he was ready, Haru began jogging around the garden, Momiji with his arm
outstretched as he held the kite in the air, squealing happily. The kite itself
might not actually fly properly, but at least they had managed to get it up in
the air...in a way. Haru glanced at Kyou as he jogged past him and the cat was
staring back at him with an expression that Haru had never seen on him before.
He wore a sad little smile and he looked wistful somehow. Yuki was watching them
both and smiling gently, glancing at Kyou out of the corner of his eye every now
and again.
The cat seemed oblivious to Yuki's scrutiny though to which Haru was grateful
for. It was the first time in what seemed like ages that they could be near each
other without screaming and kicking and punching and Haru liked it. He finally
came to a stop in front of Kyou and crouched down again, waiting for Momiji to
jump off. "Enjoy the ride?" he asked, laughing.
Momiji smiled and nodded, glad that Haru was tall enough that he wouldn't see
little problem that had arisen from riding on Haru's back like that. He blushed
and quickly sat down, so that his fancy German blouse covered it up. He handed
the kite back to Kyou.
"Sorry, it's not windy enough, Kyou. We'll have to try again though right?" he
smiled brightly. Kyou finished winding up the kite string before taking it back,
treating it with the utmost care.
Yuki looked at the two younger boys as they talked with Kyou and decided that he
should make himself scarce. He needed to think. He crept away and wandered down
the path to his garden.
Haru didn't miss the fact that Yuki had disappeared and he frowned to himself.
He tapped Momiji on the shoulder and let him know that he was leaving for a
while and then went off in search of Yuki.
Kyou watched him leave, but said nothing. He wondered if he'd said anything to
upset Yuki at all...and then he caught himself, wondering why the Hell he should
care. As much as he tried to fight it though, he could push away the concern he
felt. Yuki had seemed okay to him...but then he was always good at hiding what
he was really feeling. He was also good at smiling when he didn't mean it, which
Kyou couldn't really understand. He never saw the point in doing anything like
that.
Why should he bother wasting smiles on people who wouldn't appreciate them?
Smiles should be saved for times when you really meant them, should be saved for
people you cared about. Still, even he had been able to recognize the fond smile
Yuki had worn while watching Haru and Momiji running round the garden with the
kite. He had seemed pretty happy then...so why had he disappeared like that?
Kyou sighed. He didn't think he'd ever be able to figure Yuki out. "Oi," he
said, poking Momiji in the shoulder. "You're being unnaturally quiet. What
gives?"
Momiji looked at him apprehensively, realizing that it was time to face the
music. He moved a little closer, looking at the older teen worriedly.
"Kyou, you're going to be okay right? He... Akito didn't, he didn't..." He
trailed off, looking at Kyou, who stared back at him impatiently, waiting for
him to just say what he wanted to say. Momiji looked down and began fiddling
with the hem of Kyou's blanket nervously.
"It's my fault," he closed his eyes. "I told Kisa that you kissed a boy and
Akito heard us," he blurted it out as quickly as he could. "I'm really, really
sorry. I didn't know he was there, but I shouldn't have said anything, huh?" Out
of the corner of his eye, he saw that Kyou had gone back to unconsciously
rubbing his bare left wrist and he felt even worse.
"Maybe... maybe if I asked Akito to give it back, he would." He looked up. "I
could try. Please don't hate me, Kyou. I didn't mean it." He crawled up to the
boy, who still just stared at him, an unreadable expression on his face. Momiji
hugged the boy's neck gently, being careful not to rest too much weight on Kyou
for fear of hurting him. He buried his face in Kyou's chest, expecting to get
thrown off any minute. "Please, Kyou, please don't hate me."
Kyou tensed immediately when Momiji carefully wrapped his arms around him, but
he sighed, relaxing slightly when he heard the sound of Momiji's sniffles. His
shirt was still dry which meant that Momiji wasn't actually crying tears,
thankfully, but his back and shoulders kept hitching every now and again as
though he was crying. He didn't say anything else, which Kyou was glad for. He
needed some time to process the information that Momiji had just given him.
He'd been trying not to think of Akito at all lately, but he had always been
there in the back of his mind along with the question of why his reaction had
been so extreme. He'd overheard Momiji talking about it... So that meant that
Momiji must have seen that boy kissing him. At first Kyou was angry that the
blond had been so nosy and had apparently been informing everyone within hearing
distance of his own private business. But the more he thought about it, the less
angry he became. He remembered telling Yuki that Akito never needed a reason to
act the way he did. He just did whatever the Hell he liked and didn't care what
happened to anybody else. Hadn't he done the same thing to Hatori years ago?
Kyou didn't know much about the story; only that Hatori had fallen in love with
some girl and had asked Akito's permission to marry her. Akito hadn't much liked
the idea and had lashed out at Hatori, blinding him in one eye and destroying
his relationship with the woman forever. That he could understand as Hatori had
wanted to *marry* that girl, but him? He didn't want to marry anybody, all he
had done was to be kissed by some guy he barely knew and who had asked him out
on a date. Why would Akito get so worked up over something as trivial as *that*?
But then Akito had never wanted any members of the Juunishi to be happy, not
even he, who had always been treated as an outsider.
He blinked suddenly when Momiji's grip tightened on him a little and he stared
down at the blond who was still clinging to him as much as he dared, hiding his
face in his shirt. Kyou put a hand gingerly on Momiji's shoulder as though
afraid that the younger boy would bite him.
"Don't you go asking Akito for anything," he said harshly. "You stay away from
him, you hear me? I don't want him doing to you...or to anybody else what he did
to me." 'Not even that damn Yuki,' he thought to himself. Momiji pulled away to
look up at him, his eyes large and watery with unshed tears and Kyou bit his
lip. He knew what Momiji wanted to hear...needed to hear, just like he'd wanted
to hear the exact same words all those years ago. "It's not...it's not your
fault."
Tears finally pooled and spilled as Momiji realized that Kyou wasn't going to
push him away, but was actually vindicating him. He closed his eyes and shook
his head and hugged Kyou again, hiding his face.
"I'm sorry, Kyou," he held onto his older cousin firmly, realizing now how nice
Kyou actually was. He had always been like an older brother to Momiji, teasing
him and picking on him good-naturedly, always acting aloof, but interacting with
him in his own way. Momiji had always felt drawn to him, somehow, no matter how
grouchy he got, or how much he pushed them all away, he was never cruel or
hurtful. He always bounced back, no matter how much the Souma clan pushed him
down. Anyone else would have crumbled under such pressure, but somehow, Kyou was
strong enough to handle it all. Maybe that was why everyone was drawn to him.
He had to be strong to be who he was. Momiji hugged him harder.
"I'm sorry," he pleaded. "But Akito has never been unkind to me. Maybe he'll
let me give it back if I told him that it wasn't that serious. I don't mind."
"Well you should mind," Kyou told him sternly. "Akito isn't somebody to be
messing with. It doesn't matter that he's been okay with you so far...but
there's always a first time. And he doesn't need anything to push him over the
edge. All you'd probably need to do is give him one of those stupid smiles
and..." he trailed off, not wanting to say anything more, not even wanting to
think about it. He saw the way Akito always looked at Yuki and it made his skin
crawl. He couldn't even begin to think what it was like for Yuki himself to
actually feel those eyes on him.
Kyou wondered suddenly if Akito had ever done anything to Yuki like he'd done to
him. No, he liked Yuki too much to ever do anything like beat him...right? Yuki
was too damned perfect to screw up or to be beaten by anybody. But still...as
strong as Yuki was, even he was afraid of Akito. Kyou didn't think he would ever
find out exactly what there was between Yuki and the head of the Souma clan and
he didn't think he wanted to know.
For the first time in his life, he was thankful that Yuki was away from the main
house and that he was under Shigure's protection. And besides, Akito wasn't
after Yuki, he was after him. That he could deal with. He wrinkled his nose as
Momiji wiped his eyes a little on his tee shirt, but at least he wasn't crying
as hard anymore.
"The only one who seems to have any sway over him is Shigure," he said finally.
"Even though he's perverted and dumb, he's still smart when he needs to be and
he has his ways. He'll think of a way to get the bracelet back and if he
doesn't, Hatori will. Hatori has more brains." He was saying this to reassure
Momiji rather than himself. Personally, he didn't think that even Shigure would
be able to get the bracelet back.
After all, he'd been refused once already. What more could he do? He'd probably
just have to wait until Akito got bored with his current game and who knew how
long that could be. Trying not to think about it, he patted Momiji's shoulder.
"It'll be okay," he said softly, looking up at the sky above them, seeing how
clear and bright it looked in comparison to how it had been the last time he'd
seen it. And it helped not to be looking at Momiji anyway while he tried to get
out what he wanted to say. It made things easier somehow.
"I said already that it isn't your fault, so just let it go. You said you're
sorry and you meant it. It's okay to be angry and it's okay to be
scared...because those emotions are genuine and they're honest. You're honest
and you're genuine. So..." He cleared his throat suddenly, his voice gone
hoarse. "So just go back to being the bratty little kid you once were, dammit.
You're too serious. Kids like you aren't supposed to be so serious. You're
supposed to be running around chasing butterflies and eating jam...or...or
whatever happy kids do. Otherwise...you're just not you anymore."
Momiji relaxed into Kyou's chest, listening to what the cat had to say. Kyou was
actually very eloquent when he wanted to be, in a sort of clumsy way. Momiji
felt the weight of his guilt fall away a little and was thankful to have such
wonderful cousins. It had been lonely not having a mother, but somehow his papa
and Hari and Tohru and all of them, even Kyou had given him a very blessed life.
He was a very lucky bunny. He smiled.
Authors: Caer (caerfree@tde.com) and Triste (TragedyandComedy@aol.com)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Yaoi, violence, angst
Pairings: YukixKyou, ShigurexHatori, HaruxMomiji
Status: Work in progress (part 6)
Disclaimer: Nope, still not ours.
As always, thanks to everyone who's reviewed this fic! ^___^
~~
Kyou looked up when he heard the door open and he frowned slightly at the look
on Yuki's face. "What's the matter?" he asked when Yuki dumped his bag roughly
down onto the table. Yuki merely unzipped his backpack and handed Kyou over a
couple of cards. Kyou took them wordlessly, opening the envelopes and pulling
out the cards they contained. The first one read, 'Hope you get better soon,
Carrot Top. Maybe the convalescence will do that brain of yours some good, but
it's doubtful. Don't let Tohru mother you too much now, you're not worth it.'
Kyou snorted under his breath. "Damn Yankee." Predictably, the other card was
from Hana-chan and Kyou stared at it, feeling somewhat frightened. It was a
plain black card with a padded satin cover and a single black flower stuck to
the front of it. The message was a simple, 'wishing you and your waves a speedy
recovery.' Kyou shuddered and quickly set the card down. It was nice of
Hana-chan to send a card and all, but still, it didn't make it or her any less
creepy.
He looked up and was surprised to see that Yuki was still emptying his bag,
placing various cards, flowers and other assorted gifts onto the table. "There's
more?" he asked, confused. Yuki shook his head silently and Kyou snorted.
"Figures. I fall ill and you're the one who gets all the gifts."
"Don't think I'm enjoying it, baka neko," Yuki hissed angrily as he emptied out
his bag roughly, stuffing his books back in. "You can have them all for all I
care." Yuki eyed the cat carefully though. He looked a little bit better. He
still didn't look too energetic, but the color was coming back to his face. He
couldn't help but feel a little relief. He really had been scared two nights
ago. Kyou was looking better though, still not well enough to cause trouble, but
at least he was alive.
"How are you feeling?" He asked quietly. "Do you need anything?" Suddenly he
realized that no one was around. "Where is everyone?"
"Tohru's gone to work at her part-time job, dummy," Kyou said, rolling his eyes.
Honestly, was the work Yuki did for the student council so enthralling that it
made him lose track of the time and what was going on around him? "Shigure's
busy hiding from his editor. I think he's been trying to use me as an excuse to
delay his newest manuscript." He made a face. "And for your information, I am
fine. Bored...fed up...I'm sick of staring at these four walls and I want to get
out...but I'm fine. Thank you for asking."
Yuki glared. "I know where Tohru is, idiot, I was talking about everyone else."
Yuki said, but not with as much bite as usual. He could imagine the usually
energetic boy was going stir crazy being in this house, for so long. He was
definitely still too weak to move, but maybe with someone else here, they could
carry him outside for a while. "What about Kazuma?"
"He went out to the store," Kyou replied. Yuki raised his eyebrows as if waiting
for a longer response. "He went to buy me some mint tea. Whenever he or I got
sick while we were in the mountains, he always used to make mint tea. I don't
know why, but it makes me feel better. It...It reminds me of being with him, of
when I was happy." He looked away, wondering why he'd chosen to reveal so much
information and to Yuki no less.
"He'll probably be back in a while. He didn't want to leave me on my own, but I
promised him I'd be fine. Really, he's worse than Tohru. I'm not on my deathbed
or anything. It's not like I need people at my beck and call morning, noon and
night." He didn't mention that he kind of liked being looked after though. It
would just make him look stupid and the last thing he needed to do was make
himself look any weaker than he already was.
Yuki looked at the flustered boy, eyebrow raised, shocked that he would say so
much without yelling at him. When he was happy? Yuki wondered if he was happy at
all now. Until he had shown up after training in the woods and fighting bears,
Yuki had not seen him for years, except at the New Year parties when Kyou would
challenge him to fights. They hated each other. Yuki had never cared whether
Kyou was happy or not. For some reason though, if Kyou was unhappy living here,
he felt that he certainly must have some blame in it. Though the stupid cat
brought just as much of it on himself. Still.
"You had all of us scared," he said quietly. He picked up one of his cards,
reading the sugary sweet message on the front: "Dear Yuki-kun, I'm really really
sorry your cousin's sick. Will you go out with me?" It was surrounded by pink
hearts. Same old game. Damn this curse.
"Akito, he...he had no right. I'm sorry that he did this to you."
Kyou looked up, startled both by the tone of Yuki's voice and by what he had
said. Yuki had chosen to look at one of his many cards rather than at him, but
Kyou could tell that he was being sincere. "Don't be sorry," he said stiffly,
lowering his gaze to the cards that Uo-chan and Hana-chan had sent him. He
fingered the corner of the one from Hana-chan, feeling how smooth the satin was
underneath his fingertips.
"It wasn't like he hasn't done anything like this before. It just...never turned
out this bad." He cleared his throat. "And anyway, I'm getting better now! I can
sit up and everything! Although I'm not supposed to," he added sheepishly. "I'm
fine, really. Stop worrying so much. It's making me feel weird," he said, only
half-joking. Yuki glanced up from his card suddenly and stared at him.
Kyou felt his cheeks growing hot with awkwardness and embarrassment, but he
didn't look away, just kept his gaze fixed on Yuki's. He didn't think he'd ever
stared at Yuki for this long before. Usually, he was so focused on when and how
he could hit him somehow in order to start a fight, but now that they were just
sitting quietly here like this, he was starting to notice things that he never
had done before. Things like how long Yuki's eyelashes really were, or how soft
his skin looked.
Kyou often said he looked like a girl...but he'd never mentioned Yuki was pretty
as in girl pretty. Not that he'd ever mention that though. Kyou found himself
puzzled by his own thoughts. Since when had he ever found Yuki pretty? He shook
his head slightly and just put it down to the drugs that Hatori was still making
him take. They were starting to make him think things and say things that he
never would have done before the accident. Feeling relieved, Kyou sighed. He
wasn't going mad after all. He had wondered...
Yuki looked back at the stupid card, feeling a little strange. Kyou had the most
striking red eyes. You could get lost in them. Yuki found himself thinking
crazy thoughts, like how slender Kyou was, and how delicate his collarbone
looked. And just now, Kyou had been trying to make him feel better...him. Maybe
the cat wasn't all bad. Maybe, it was time to make an effort to be, if not
friends, at least civil to each other again. He found his voice.
"So, maybe when Kazuma comes back, we can take you outside, for a little while.
As scrawny as you are, I still don't think I could get you out alone," he said,
trying to sound casual. He didn't mention that he was scared to even handle
Kyou right now. He still looked fragile against the sheets they had used to
cover the pads by the table. He looked pale. Yuki had never noticed before, but
Kyou had very delicate wrists. Suddenly, he was looking at Kyou again, looking
at his red eyes, as they blinked at him confusedly.
"Hello!" An incredibly loud voice called out! "Anyone home?" They both looked
up, the stillness broken.
Kyou cursed silently when Momiji's voice made itself heard and he finally broke
Yuki's gaze, staring down at the floor in embarrassment. What had happened
there? Or rather, what would have happened if Momiji hadn't arrived? Would they
just have kept staring at each other like that? Kyou felt goose bumps rising on
his arms and decided that he didn't want to know.
He didn't have much time to ponder it anyway because at that moment, the door
flung open and Momiji strode inside, carrying a tuba that was almost as big as
he was. Kyou's jaw dropped and he just stared in silence as Momiji beamed at
him. "Uh...what's that?" he asked dumbly as Haru stepped into the room and took
his place behind Momiji, holding something behind his back.
Momiji held the odd thing up brightly. "It's my tuba, Kyou! Don't you know what
a tuba looks like? I brought it to play for you! I wanna play you a song! I
wanna play, I wanna play!"
"I *know* what it is!" Kyou snapped. "I'm not *stupid*!" Momiji just stared back
at him with those huge, pleading eyes and although he didn't really like the
idea, Kyou sighed and gave in. Besides, Momiji had gone to all the effort of
dragging the damn instrument all the way here, so he may as well listen to him.
He suddenly realized that he'd never heard Momiji play the tuba before. Hell, he
hadn't even known the kid could *play* an instrument before today. "Fine, fine,"
he said, rolling his eyes. Momiji whooped with excitement and then blew a few
warm-up notes, almost blasting Kyou through the wall with the sheer volume of
it. "Um...in your own time," Kyou said weakly.
Yuki looked at his younger cousin warmly. "Momiji, the tuba is a loud
instrument. Why don't you play it out on the porch? That way we can watch you
and it won't be too loud?"
Momiji stared at him with wide eyes and nodded. "I get it. Okay, hold on." He
moved out to the porch and waved madly at them. Haru and Yuki waved back, while
Kyou watched with interest. Momiji took a deep breath and began to play. Oddly
enough, it was his own song he sang when they had gone to the hot springs and he
played it quite well, his little red cheeks puffing out and his feet marching
along to the music as he played.
A couple of the higher notes didn't quite make their full way out of the
instrument, but for the most part, it was actually quite good. Yuki couldn't
help but notice that the blond had actually grown a few inches. He was probably
as tall as Tohru now and though he was still small for his age, he seemed to
look a little more like a teenager. An extremely young teenager but a teen none
the less.
Momiji finished with a flourish and bowed, setting his tuba down and running
back in.
"Kyou, did you like it? Was it okay? I'm not very good yet." He was on his hands
and knees as he looked hopefully at his cranky cousin with his annoying huge,
gentle brown bunny eyes.
"It sounded okay to me," said Kyou with a shrug. He could see Yuki giving him a
warning stare out of the corner of his eye and he sighed, knowing what that look
meant. Momiji was still watching him hopefully and Kyou rolled his eyes again,
knowing he wasn't going to get away with simply telling Momiji that it was
'fine'. "It was okay to say that you haven't been playing it long. Everyone gets
better with practice I suppose, even you."
He paused, unsure of what to say. He had never been very good at handing out
praise or compliments, but he guessed he could give it a try for once. Besides,
if they made fun of him for saying something nice, he could always say it had
been the medication that made him say it. "It wasn't the best thing ever," he
said grudgingly. "But then it wasn't bad either. You'll get better." He frowned.
"Anyway, isn't it that song you sang for us at the hot springs? The one with the
dumb words?" He hummed under his breath. "Something, something, a frog and a dog
saying goodbye, was it? Where the Hell did you come up with lyrics like that
anyway?"
Momiji smiled softly, though he felt a little sad. He knew Kyou wasn't too good
at this, but somehow, what he said seemed okay anyway. He actually even
remembered where the song came from. Kyou was being so nice, for him and Momiji
knew it wouldn't be long before he had to tell him the truth. He doubted Kyou
would ever be nice to him again after that.
"Thank you, Kyou," he said softly.
Yuki sighed in relief as Kyou praised the small blond. He did it with about as
much grace as a hippo on acid, but at least he didn't yell at the kid.
"That was good, Momiji," he smiled. "I didn't know you had gotten so good. It
was nice of you both to visit. Eh... Haru, Kazuma wasn't around, but I was
thinking if we're careful, we could move Kyou outside for a while." He looked
down at the pale boy. "I imagine he's going crazy having to stay all day with
Shigure and not being able to get outside."
Kyou snorted. "I have a mouth, you know and I will use it to speak with."
Secretly, he was touched that Yuki could be so considerate, but he wasn't going
to say that. He glanced over at Momiji who smiled back, but for some reason, his
smile seemed a little strained. It wasn't a look Kyou was used to seeing on the
blond and it reminded him of when he'd come across him those few days ago on the
verge of being beaten up.
"Oi," he said, catching Momiji's attention. "When we go outside...you can play
some more if you want to. You're okay now...but you won't get better if you
don't practice some more." He looked away, blushing and he was grateful when
Haru and Yuki chose that moment to step up to him. They knelt down on either
side of him and slowly, carefully, they picked him up and began to carry him
outside and into the garden.
It was only a short distance away, but it felt like miles to Kyou, trying not to
put too much weight on his bruised stomach as he gasped once or twice, but
otherwise kept his mouth shut. He was relieved when the two of them finally set
him down though, Haru adjusting the blanket over him and fussing like the mother
hen Kyou knew he could be. He batted Haru's hands away impatiently and looked
over at Momiji who had picked up his tuba then.
"Go on then. Show me what else you can play," he said awkwardly, hoping that
Momiji would go back to giving him those big, sugary smiles again. It felt weird
to see the kid without them...kind of how it felt to see Yuki being so nice,
Kyou sighed inwardly. Since when had his world decided to choose now to go
off-kilter?
Yuki stared at Kyou, amazed. He must be drugged to be *that* nice to Momiji.
Then again, Kyou was in a lot of pain too. He stared at the grown forlornly,
wondering if it had been wise to move him. Then again, Kyou was so impatient, he
probably would have moved on his own and caused even more damage. As they had
moved him out, every wince or little groan of pain he let out under his breath
had cut into Yuki's conscience like a raw nerve. He felt guilty. More than he
should, but then, his going back to Akito was about the only way of getting
Kyou's bracelet back. He was sure Kyou was scared, but he was too. Kyou didn't
know. None of them did. They didn't know what Akito had done, how cruel and
horrible he had been.
He watched silently as Kyou finally managed to get the overzealous Haru from
messing with his blanket. Momiji had gotten his tuba but put it inside rather
than continue playing. He appeared a few seconds later, dragging something
behind him. Yuki couldn't quite see it.
"Haru, Haru, you forgot this!" Momiji ran up and gave Haru something, but
neither Kyou nor Yuki could tell what it was.
Haru smiled at the curious look on Kyou's face and he knelt down to the redhead,
offering the gift that he and Momiji had made. Kyou took it gingerly and stared
at his, his expression one of confusion. "It's a kite," Haru said helpfully.
"Momiji and I made it for you yesterday. We thought you might like it."
Kyou turned the kite over in his hands, running his fingers over it in awe. It
might not be the best kite that had ever been made, but he could tell that they
must have gone to a lot of effort to make it. He had no idea whether or not it
would actually be able to fly, but at least it looked pretty...kind of.
There were big clumps of multi-colored sparkles stuck in strategic places on the
kite, but the thing that made him smile the most were the little animal shapes
that had been pasted on. Four crude figures of a cat, a mouse, a cow and a
rabbit were stuck on each corner of the kite, the cat on the north point of the
kite, the mouse underneath it and the cow and the rabbit pointing out east and
west.
Kyou ran one fingertip lightly over the little cat figure and bit his lip. He
looked up at Haru and then at Momiji and felt a tiny smile break out on his
face. "God only knows if this thing could actually fly," he said. "But...it
looks really nice." He dropped his head, again feeling touched. He couldn't
remember the last time someone had given him a gift and never one as thoughtful
as this. "Thanks...I...It's nice," he mumbled, not looking up. "Thank you."
The company was comfortably silent. Yuki watched Kyou as his hands lingered upon
the small gift and he suddenly felt guilty for not even bothering with getting a
card or something himself. Before, he wouldn't have given it a second thought,
but that image of Kyou bleeding and weak in his arms still haunted him. No
matter how hard he tried, he couldn't dredge up the usual hatred of the cat.
Because the fact that they had almost lost him somehow made Yuki realize that no
matter how much he still hated the boy, he didn't want him to go away. He had no
idea what that meant.
"Kyou," Momiji said in his gentle voice, breaking the silence before it became
uncomfortable. "If you hold the string, I'll try to get it up in the air. It
should fly, right Haru?"
"We won't know unless we try," Haru said mildly, still smiling. He gently took
the kite from Kyou and wound the string around his wrist. "Hold onto that," he
instructed, handing the kite back to Momiji. At his nod, Momiji began tearing
off through the garden, trying to get the kite to go up in the air. It just
wasn't windy enough though and after a few failed attempts, Haru trotted up to
Momiji and knelt down before him. "Climb up on my back," he said, waiting until
Momiji had a firm hold of his neck with one arm and the kite clasped tightly in
his free hand.
Once he was ready, Haru began jogging around the garden, Momiji with his arm
outstretched as he held the kite in the air, squealing happily. The kite itself
might not actually fly properly, but at least they had managed to get it up in
the air...in a way. Haru glanced at Kyou as he jogged past him and the cat was
staring back at him with an expression that Haru had never seen on him before.
He wore a sad little smile and he looked wistful somehow. Yuki was watching them
both and smiling gently, glancing at Kyou out of the corner of his eye every now
and again.
The cat seemed oblivious to Yuki's scrutiny though to which Haru was grateful
for. It was the first time in what seemed like ages that they could be near each
other without screaming and kicking and punching and Haru liked it. He finally
came to a stop in front of Kyou and crouched down again, waiting for Momiji to
jump off. "Enjoy the ride?" he asked, laughing.
Momiji smiled and nodded, glad that Haru was tall enough that he wouldn't see
little problem that had arisen from riding on Haru's back like that. He blushed
and quickly sat down, so that his fancy German blouse covered it up. He handed
the kite back to Kyou.
"Sorry, it's not windy enough, Kyou. We'll have to try again though right?" he
smiled brightly. Kyou finished winding up the kite string before taking it back,
treating it with the utmost care.
Yuki looked at the two younger boys as they talked with Kyou and decided that he
should make himself scarce. He needed to think. He crept away and wandered down
the path to his garden.
Haru didn't miss the fact that Yuki had disappeared and he frowned to himself.
He tapped Momiji on the shoulder and let him know that he was leaving for a
while and then went off in search of Yuki.
Kyou watched him leave, but said nothing. He wondered if he'd said anything to
upset Yuki at all...and then he caught himself, wondering why the Hell he should
care. As much as he tried to fight it though, he could push away the concern he
felt. Yuki had seemed okay to him...but then he was always good at hiding what
he was really feeling. He was also good at smiling when he didn't mean it, which
Kyou couldn't really understand. He never saw the point in doing anything like
that.
Why should he bother wasting smiles on people who wouldn't appreciate them?
Smiles should be saved for times when you really meant them, should be saved for
people you cared about. Still, even he had been able to recognize the fond smile
Yuki had worn while watching Haru and Momiji running round the garden with the
kite. He had seemed pretty happy then...so why had he disappeared like that?
Kyou sighed. He didn't think he'd ever be able to figure Yuki out. "Oi," he
said, poking Momiji in the shoulder. "You're being unnaturally quiet. What
gives?"
Momiji looked at him apprehensively, realizing that it was time to face the
music. He moved a little closer, looking at the older teen worriedly.
"Kyou, you're going to be okay right? He... Akito didn't, he didn't..." He
trailed off, looking at Kyou, who stared back at him impatiently, waiting for
him to just say what he wanted to say. Momiji looked down and began fiddling
with the hem of Kyou's blanket nervously.
"It's my fault," he closed his eyes. "I told Kisa that you kissed a boy and
Akito heard us," he blurted it out as quickly as he could. "I'm really, really
sorry. I didn't know he was there, but I shouldn't have said anything, huh?" Out
of the corner of his eye, he saw that Kyou had gone back to unconsciously
rubbing his bare left wrist and he felt even worse.
"Maybe... maybe if I asked Akito to give it back, he would." He looked up. "I
could try. Please don't hate me, Kyou. I didn't mean it." He crawled up to the
boy, who still just stared at him, an unreadable expression on his face. Momiji
hugged the boy's neck gently, being careful not to rest too much weight on Kyou
for fear of hurting him. He buried his face in Kyou's chest, expecting to get
thrown off any minute. "Please, Kyou, please don't hate me."
Kyou tensed immediately when Momiji carefully wrapped his arms around him, but
he sighed, relaxing slightly when he heard the sound of Momiji's sniffles. His
shirt was still dry which meant that Momiji wasn't actually crying tears,
thankfully, but his back and shoulders kept hitching every now and again as
though he was crying. He didn't say anything else, which Kyou was glad for. He
needed some time to process the information that Momiji had just given him.
He'd been trying not to think of Akito at all lately, but he had always been
there in the back of his mind along with the question of why his reaction had
been so extreme. He'd overheard Momiji talking about it... So that meant that
Momiji must have seen that boy kissing him. At first Kyou was angry that the
blond had been so nosy and had apparently been informing everyone within hearing
distance of his own private business. But the more he thought about it, the less
angry he became. He remembered telling Yuki that Akito never needed a reason to
act the way he did. He just did whatever the Hell he liked and didn't care what
happened to anybody else. Hadn't he done the same thing to Hatori years ago?
Kyou didn't know much about the story; only that Hatori had fallen in love with
some girl and had asked Akito's permission to marry her. Akito hadn't much liked
the idea and had lashed out at Hatori, blinding him in one eye and destroying
his relationship with the woman forever. That he could understand as Hatori had
wanted to *marry* that girl, but him? He didn't want to marry anybody, all he
had done was to be kissed by some guy he barely knew and who had asked him out
on a date. Why would Akito get so worked up over something as trivial as *that*?
But then Akito had never wanted any members of the Juunishi to be happy, not
even he, who had always been treated as an outsider.
He blinked suddenly when Momiji's grip tightened on him a little and he stared
down at the blond who was still clinging to him as much as he dared, hiding his
face in his shirt. Kyou put a hand gingerly on Momiji's shoulder as though
afraid that the younger boy would bite him.
"Don't you go asking Akito for anything," he said harshly. "You stay away from
him, you hear me? I don't want him doing to you...or to anybody else what he did
to me." 'Not even that damn Yuki,' he thought to himself. Momiji pulled away to
look up at him, his eyes large and watery with unshed tears and Kyou bit his
lip. He knew what Momiji wanted to hear...needed to hear, just like he'd wanted
to hear the exact same words all those years ago. "It's not...it's not your
fault."
Tears finally pooled and spilled as Momiji realized that Kyou wasn't going to
push him away, but was actually vindicating him. He closed his eyes and shook
his head and hugged Kyou again, hiding his face.
"I'm sorry, Kyou," he held onto his older cousin firmly, realizing now how nice
Kyou actually was. He had always been like an older brother to Momiji, teasing
him and picking on him good-naturedly, always acting aloof, but interacting with
him in his own way. Momiji had always felt drawn to him, somehow, no matter how
grouchy he got, or how much he pushed them all away, he was never cruel or
hurtful. He always bounced back, no matter how much the Souma clan pushed him
down. Anyone else would have crumbled under such pressure, but somehow, Kyou was
strong enough to handle it all. Maybe that was why everyone was drawn to him.
He had to be strong to be who he was. Momiji hugged him harder.
"I'm sorry," he pleaded. "But Akito has never been unkind to me. Maybe he'll
let me give it back if I told him that it wasn't that serious. I don't mind."
"Well you should mind," Kyou told him sternly. "Akito isn't somebody to be
messing with. It doesn't matter that he's been okay with you so far...but
there's always a first time. And he doesn't need anything to push him over the
edge. All you'd probably need to do is give him one of those stupid smiles
and..." he trailed off, not wanting to say anything more, not even wanting to
think about it. He saw the way Akito always looked at Yuki and it made his skin
crawl. He couldn't even begin to think what it was like for Yuki himself to
actually feel those eyes on him.
Kyou wondered suddenly if Akito had ever done anything to Yuki like he'd done to
him. No, he liked Yuki too much to ever do anything like beat him...right? Yuki
was too damned perfect to screw up or to be beaten by anybody. But still...as
strong as Yuki was, even he was afraid of Akito. Kyou didn't think he would ever
find out exactly what there was between Yuki and the head of the Souma clan and
he didn't think he wanted to know.
For the first time in his life, he was thankful that Yuki was away from the main
house and that he was under Shigure's protection. And besides, Akito wasn't
after Yuki, he was after him. That he could deal with. He wrinkled his nose as
Momiji wiped his eyes a little on his tee shirt, but at least he wasn't crying
as hard anymore.
"The only one who seems to have any sway over him is Shigure," he said finally.
"Even though he's perverted and dumb, he's still smart when he needs to be and
he has his ways. He'll think of a way to get the bracelet back and if he
doesn't, Hatori will. Hatori has more brains." He was saying this to reassure
Momiji rather than himself. Personally, he didn't think that even Shigure would
be able to get the bracelet back.
After all, he'd been refused once already. What more could he do? He'd probably
just have to wait until Akito got bored with his current game and who knew how
long that could be. Trying not to think about it, he patted Momiji's shoulder.
"It'll be okay," he said softly, looking up at the sky above them, seeing how
clear and bright it looked in comparison to how it had been the last time he'd
seen it. And it helped not to be looking at Momiji anyway while he tried to get
out what he wanted to say. It made things easier somehow.
"I said already that it isn't your fault, so just let it go. You said you're
sorry and you meant it. It's okay to be angry and it's okay to be
scared...because those emotions are genuine and they're honest. You're honest
and you're genuine. So..." He cleared his throat suddenly, his voice gone
hoarse. "So just go back to being the bratty little kid you once were, dammit.
You're too serious. Kids like you aren't supposed to be so serious. You're
supposed to be running around chasing butterflies and eating jam...or...or
whatever happy kids do. Otherwise...you're just not you anymore."
Momiji relaxed into Kyou's chest, listening to what the cat had to say. Kyou was
actually very eloquent when he wanted to be, in a sort of clumsy way. Momiji
felt the weight of his guilt fall away a little and was thankful to have such
wonderful cousins. It had been lonely not having a mother, but somehow his papa
and Hari and Tohru and all of them, even Kyou had given him a very blessed life.
He was a very lucky bunny. He smiled.