Title: Equally Cursed and Blessed
Authors: Caer (caerfree@tde.com) and Triste (TragedyandComedy@aol.com)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Yaoi, yuri, violence, angst
Pairings: YukixKyou, ShigurexHatori, HaruxMomiji, HanajimaxTohru
Status: Work in progress (part 8)
Disclaimer: Nope, still not ours.
Tohru tried to stifle a yawn as she opened her locker, taking out the textbooks that she needed for her afternoon class. She had been working so hard lately, what with trying to save up some extra money and all that she hadn't been getting as much sleep as she should have done. She was thankful that Yuki or Shigure hadn't mentioned how much time she'd been spending at the hospital recently, although she was sure they must have noticed.
She was still worried sick about Kyou, but she knew that he was in good hands, with Yuki and Kazuma taking care of him and also Hatori dropping by every so often to check up on him. Tohru felt a little guilty that she hadn't been able to spend as much time with Kyou as she might have liked, but as she reminded herself, she was working the extra hours for a good reason. If only she could find the energy to stay awake during her classes now. None of her teachers had picked up on it yet, but she had caught Hana-chan watching her with a curious eye. Tohru was surprised that Hana-chan had so far refrained from questioning her. She had skimmed over the details of Kyou's accident to her friends and to the other pupils at school and she knew that both of her best friends were worried.
Tohru glanced up at the clock on the wall and panicked when she realised that she was late. She had promised to meet Uo-chan and Hana-chan before lunch break was over and she hurriedly gathered the rest of her things before slamming her locker door shut and scurrying off down the hallway.
She had been so busy with her notes and her bag however that she hadn't noticed where she was going and she uttered a little 'oof!' of surprise when she accidentally banged into someone. Her heart sank when she saw that it was one of the girls who always liked to swoon over Yuki and she bit her lip, hoping they wouldn't be too angry with her. "I'm so sorry!" she gasped, dusting herself off. "Are you okay?"
"Hmph! Tohru, you're so clumsy!" the girl said, furious, brushing herself off. "I don't know what Yuki sees in you!" Her two cronies nodded, never being seen without the other. Suddenly all three girls sighed in unison, looking upward with shimmering eyes.
"Ah!"
"Yuki is the most delicious piece of chocolate!"
"The most intelligent and sensitive of men!"
"Like a god, cast into our otherwise dull high school."
"AND CERTAINLY NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!" They said in unison, laughing their shrill laugh. For her part, Tohru simply stared, a perplexed smile on her face, still sitting on the floor. A sudden beeping caught the girl's attention and their heads perked up like frightened weasels.
"Oh no!" "It's her!"
"The wave woman!"
They turned to escape, only to find themselves blocked by a metal bar and a very perturbed blonde girl who seemed to tower miles over them.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"Eek!"
They turned and came face to face with their other worst fear...aside from rejection from the prince.
"Ha...Hanajima!"
"Hello," she said softly, staring at them. "Have you talked to Megumi lately? He thinks of you often. He watches you."
They wilted and ran away as fast as they could.
Tohru watched as they ran, unsure of whether to laugh or cry. She was grateful that she had Uo-chan and Hana-chan to look out for her, but now she was sure that they would be concerned about her too. Tohru sighed. It seemed that all she ever did lately was make people worry about her. In spite of her fatigue, she managed a bright smile for her friends. "I'm so sorry you had to come and look for me," she said, the words tumbling out of her mouth in a rush. "I realise now that I must have made you wait and I'm sorry that I'm so late, but I was just on my way and-" She broke off suddenly when she caught sight of Uo-chan cheerfully twirling her most trusted weapon and Tohru's expression turned mournful. "Uo-chan, you know how frightened people get when you carry that pipe around," she said, nodding thankfully at Hanajima as she helped her gather the rest of her scattered papers. "It's not good to solve things with violence. You don't have to be so concerned about me all the time. I'm fine, really, I am!"
Ignoring Hana-chan's sceptical expression, she continued on. "I was just being clumsy is all and they had every right to be angry with me for bumping into them like that. It was so silly of me, but really, I'm okay! Sorry again for making you wait!"
Uo made an annoyed sound. "Really, you need to learn to stand up for yourself, Tohru. Those girls don't deserve to walk the same ground as you. They're just bullies. You shouldn't make excuses for the likes of them." She reached down and helped her best friend up, brushing the girl off affectionately, though the halls were clean and she hadn't dirtied her clothes. The gesture was important.
Hanajima put a hand on Tohru's shoulder and placed her books back into the girl's arms, staring at her with care. "Tohru-chan acts as Tohru-chan is. Otherwise she wouldn't be who she is." "Dummy!" Uo scoffed in a friendly manner. "I'm just saying she should toughen up a little." "I think she has. You've had to, haven't you, Tohru?"
Tohru smiled at them, but her eyes were going glassy and her shoulders were starting to shake. A single sob escaped her. Uo looked at Hanajima with alarm and they quickly propelled the girl into the girl's bathroom. Uo sat her down by the window and Hanajima got a paper towel with some water, walking back and dabbing it at her eyes.
"Tohru, what's wrong?" Uo asked, holding the poor girl. She looked exhausted. "Are they mistreating you at that house?" she asked, a tinge of anger rising.
"No, no, of course not!" Tohru cried, waving her hands. "Yuki-kun and Shigure-san would never be so mean! I'm just...I'm really worried about Kyou-kun," she added, trying to stop sniffling. "And I haven't been sleeping well and..."
Hana-chan just made soft, soothing sounds and patted her back as she cried. Once she had started, it as impossible to stop, but once the tears were over, Tohru did find herself feeling a little better than before.
"I'm sorry," she said, letting Hanajima dab away the rest of the tearstains. "I'm so lucky to have such caring friends like you." She stared up at both Hanajima and Uo-chan with wide eyes and offered them a genuine smile this time. "I'm sorry I'm not tough enough yet, Uo-chan. Kyou-kun promised me to teach me some martial arts moves, but I'm not very good at it, I'm afraid. Then he got hurt of course, so now he won't be able to teach me anything for a long time. It was just scary," she admitted. "Seeing Kyou-kun so hurt and seeing everyone else so worried about him. And then we have exams to study for soon and I didn't want to bother Souma-kun by asking for his help and I've been working so hard at the hospital lately and..."
She breathed in deeply and forced herself to cheer up. "But it'll all be okay. I'll work through it! I just have to stay positive and believe in myself and I'll be just fine." She smiled at the two of them again. "I'm sorry I made you worry."
Uo smiled, summoning up her self-control to let things go. Tohru and all the Soumas had been extremely vague about what had happened to Kyou at first. Then, out of the blue, they all had the same story: that he had gotten ill and fallen on the wet road, injuring himself quite badly. She was worried herself. She missed teasing the easily excitable boy all the time.
As much as they squabbled, they had a sympathetic relationship, each understanding the other in a subtle way. But there was something about him...about the whole Sohma clan that smacked of secrets and not the good kind. The tall blonde had been very reluctant to let her gullible...no, easily impressionable friend go to live with them. But the love in her eyes for those two boys couldn't be resisted. She belonged there.
So rather than cuss out the whole of creation for picking on such a light headed, sweet hearted spirit, she sighed and hugged her friend as tight as she could without breaking her and grabbed her bag.
"If you say so, Tohru. Still, I think you should skip next period and clean yourself up, otherwise Prince Yuki-" She batted her eyelashes when she said it. "Will worry."
"Arisa is right, Tohru. I can stay with you and skip as well. After all, class is just a distraction to me."
Uo blanched. "It's not right that you say that so comfortably." Throwing her friend a 'take care of her' look, she grabbed her metal pipe and left the bathroom. "See ya!"
They were alone now and even though Tohru was smiling and furiously wiping her tears away, Hanajima gathered her in her arms, stroking her hair.
"You've been working so hard lately. Exhaustion results in depression. That's why I sleep through class."
In spite of her tiredness, Tohru couldn't help but laugh. She was so lucky to have such wonderful friends like Hana-chan and Uo-chan who both cared about her so much. Hana-chan just gave her a small smile and hugged her tighter as she continued to stroke her hair. Tohru smiled back as she let Hana-chan comfort her.
It felt so nice actually. Although both of her best friends were very affectionate by nature, Tohru couldn't remember the last time she'd had someone hold her like this, as though just being this close to someone could take away all the worries in the world. Sometimes, she wished she could hold Yuki and Kyou like this, but there was the curse to be reckoned with after all. Thankfully, Uo-chan and Hana-chan especially seemed to be willing to give her all the support and encouragement she needed and even a quick hug to pick her up from time to time. Being held by Hana-chan reminded Tohru of the way her mother used to hug her in the exact same way, making her feel so warm and safe.
Tohru sobered a little at the thought of her mother, but she pushed it away. "Hana-chan shouldn't sleep through class," she said, although she was still smiling. "Not paying attention gets you bad grades and also makes the teachers angry with you."
"I've read that it's healthy to express your anger. In fact, I'm doing the teachers a favour by allowing them to take out their pent up frustration on me," Hana said simply. "If I sleep through class, then I have energy for the rest of the day. Then I can attend to more important things," she continued, running her hands through Tohru's soft hair.
Though she didn't want the strange Souma with the cat attraction to be hurt since he cared for Tohru, she was glad that his injury had karmically driven Tohru into her arms today. It was something Hana always wanted but seldom received. She loved Tohru so dearly, but Tohru seemed so unreachable. She was perfect. She was beautiful and kind. But she seemed quite happy to be the centre of attention to Yuki and Kyou. So to have a chance to hold the wonderful girl in her arms, and just once, to pretend that maybe they were more than friends was it's own little heaven.
Pulling Tohru close, Hana placed a soft kiss on her fine brown hair. "Will you be all right?" she asked.
"I'll be fine," Tohru assured her, snuggling against Hanajima momentarily before pulling away again. "Thank you for cheering me up! Hana-chan is so kind!"
She allowed Hanajima to help her to her feet and then brushed herself off, picking up her book bag. "I managed to get a night off work this evening, so after class I'm going straight home to check on Kyou-kun. Yuki-kun said that he'd be out this evening, but I expect that Shigure-san will need something to eat too. Then I can finish all my homework and get an early night's sleep!"
She smiled sunnily at Hanajima who gave her a small smile of her own in return. She blushed when her stomach grumbled loudly and giggled nervously to try and cover it up. "I guess that means it's time to go to lunch," she said, still laughing. "Uo-chan will get impatient if she has to wait too long for us."
Hanajima nodded and Tohru turned to open the door, but was surprised when the other girl linked their arms together. Tohru blinked, startled and then smiled, hugging Hanajima's arm tightly as the two girls made their way to the cafeteria to meet up with Uo-chan. ~~
"Yuki..."
Akito's voice was soft and silky as he eased himself up into a sitting position, adjusting his kimono and smiling up at his visitor. "What a pleasant surprise. I wasn't expecting to see you quite so soon." The younger boy just stood in the doorway looking as though he was about to bolt at any minute, so Akito decided to give him a little encouragement. "Come now, Yuki, don't just stand there. You're making the place look untidy."
The younger Souma did so, carefully toeing off his shoes and placing them on the floor. "The door, please, if you don't mind."
Akito barely managed to hold back his smile at the stricken expression on Yuki's face, but again, the boy did as he was told, slowly making his way over to the door and pulling it shut. Akito didn't miss the flash of familiar black and white hair before the door slid to completely though and he frowned slightly. So Yuki hadn't come alone this time...but there were still plenty of other opportunities to be had.
Akito still had the bracelet in his possession after all and with that came the extra power he'd needed to wield over Yuki and lure him away from the false protection of Shigure's house. All of this, just for one stupid cat. Then again, all Kyou had ever done was cause trouble for the Souma family.
It was almost too perfect, too cruel to fill the idiot cat with the hope that somehow Yuki might be able to get his precious bracelet back when Akito intended on keeping it away from him for as long as possible. He had been worried initially that Shigure might have proved to be a bit of a problem to him, but it seemed that even his faithful dog had known when to back off.
Allowing him and Hatori their relationship had been one of the cleverest things he'd done. Hatori was always perfectly obedient to him, but Akito had known that even he would hesitate to do anything that might cause harm to Shigure.
Akito had briefly entertained the thought of getting Hatori to erase Shigure's memories, knowing that it would be the one thing that would finally break the man, but in the end, he had dismissed it. He loved Hatori, just like he loved Shigure. He would allow them what little happiness he could give them. For the time being anyway. He loved the two of them like he loved all of the Souma clan. It was his job to protect his family and in return, it was their job to take care of him, to obey his every order. After all, he was only acting in their best interests.
Akito smiled again and beckoned for Yuki to come closer. "Please, sit down. Tell me...did you have a good day at school? I imagine that Kyou must be falling back on his studies by now. He's missed quite a lot of schooling. It would be such a shame if he were to fail his courses. Don't you think so?"
Yuki swallowed, his mouth opening and closing, but it was like his chest was so tight, he could barely breath. He had been doing well until Akito had asked him to close the door, but now that he was here again, his fear was threatening to overwhelm him. He could feel a cold sheen of sweat breaking out over his skin. His words were choked in his throat, his eyes focused on the figure who leaned languidly against the mantle, fingering a rose as his dark eyes raked over him. Akito's expression was that of a patiently sympathetic schoolteacher as Yuki searched for the words that had abandoned him.
The last time he had been here, Tohru, Hatori and Shigure had been with him and he had been able to cope. Akito's attention had been focused on her, not him. Now he was here again, alone, after so many years. He was trembling so hard, he felt as if he could barely keep his hands clasped. He wanted to run, but he was frozen to the spot. When he vaguely heard Akito mention Kyou though, he remembered why he had come and he concentrated on breathing. He was okay for now. Haru was right outside. Akito would be cautious this time.
"Akito..." He glanced up and caught anger in the young man's eyes and he added the honorary. "...sama." Akito smiled once again and Yuki took a deep breath, speaking quietly, trying not to get lost in memory. "School w-was very good. Kyou...Kyou has been doing makeup assignments at home, but he wishes to return if he may." Yuki looked up pleadingly.
"Is that so?" Akito's voice was thoughtful. "Shigure tells me that our dear kitten actually does well when he's at school. Who'd have thought? Still, it's not like he's ever going to beat you though, is it? He'll never beat you at anything he does. I've tried to explain this to him, you know. I've been patient. I've tried my best, but he just doesn't seem to want to accept the fact that you are better than he is in every way that is possible. But come, I didn't bring you here to talk about *him*."
Akito was pleased to see that Yuki's trembling had increased when he'd inched a little closer and he reached a hand out so that he could touch Yuki's cheek. His skin was as soft as peaches, as pale as moonlight and lovely to the touch. "I bet that you're glad that you weren't born in Kyou's place, Yuki. Everybody knows that the mouse is the luckiest of all the animals of the zodiac, the most loved and looked up to, but nobody loves the cat. The cat is nothing but trouble and always has been. Isn't that what I've always told you? What I've always warned you about?"
He brushed away a stray strand of Yuki's hair, smiling at the way his eyes widened considerably. Silly boy. Even after all this time, Yuki was still so afraid of him and that fear made Akito feel even more powerful than usual. It was good to know that Yuki hadn't forgotten about him. That was one of the things he worried most about.
Being the head of the Juunishi circle meant that his life would be over almost as soon as it had begun. He wouldn't have much time left to govern his precious family any longer, but the one thing he wanted to do, needed to do before he left was to make sure that none of them would ever forget him.
Rubbing his thumb slowly back and forth over Yuki's cheek, Akito continued speaking softly. "Do you remember the last time you and I were alone in this room together, Yuki? It has been such a long time after all. I was so worried that you wouldn't remember."
Yuki closed his eyes and fought back a choked sob, but a small whimper escaped his lips anyway and he knew Akito would be pleased. His memories were washing over him like unrelenting ice cold waves and he felt his last four years of freedom disappear like shadow guardians that were never really there. He was back here, in the unlit room, the closet, the pain. It was as if his fear had increased with the absence and the passage of time. Akito's fingers on his cheek and his hair sent violent shocks of terror through his body and he knew he would hyperventilate if he weren't careful.
Remembering what Kazuma had taught him, he focused on the past good times, forcing up images of Tohru and her presence to his mind. He thought of Haru, calm and supportive in the next room. He thought of Shigure and his wild antics that made life a little more bearable. He thought of Momiji, the bright light of the Souma clan. He then thought of Kyou, proud but afraid, lying at home, wondering if he had a future to look forward to.
It was the last image that brought Yuki under control and he felt the tightness around his heart ease a bit. He wasn't a coward. He wouldn't run away. Kyou had a future, just like the rest of them. For the good of the whole family, Kyou mattered just as much of the rest of them. He was human, just like they all were, no matter what Akito said, no matter what the head of the clan had whispered in his ear so many times since childhood. Yuki could not be biased. He had spent his whole life believing that he himself was more than an animal, and yet, he treated the cat like all the rest. Stupid and worthless.
Kyou may have abandoned him...but he had changed, and no matter what, he was still a human. The Kyou now was not the heartless child of the past. Yuki could forgive him. He had to. It was in the past, and the future was what was important. Yuki finally found the courage to speak normally, though the tremor that quaked his vocal chords still betrayed his fear.
"Akito, I..." he cleared his throat. His voice was too quiet. "I know what you want. I don't know why you're using Kyou. You know I don't like him...but...he's important to Tohru, and I don't want to see her hurt."
He slowly met his master's eyes and he felt a little strength. "If you could find the mercy in your heart to forgive the Cat any indiscretions...I will try to do as you ask. But please give the bracelet back." He looked up, not daring to touch the enigmatic prince of the Soumas for fear of angering him, though his hand reached out. "Surely you can see that it's dangerous. If anyone was to see the evil cat..."
He lowered his hand. He didn't know what else to say.
"Yuki, Yuki..." Akito tutted his tongue and shook his head. "You don't have to be so concerned for the cat. Why do you worry about anyone seeing his true form when even he can't stand to see it himself? Still, you can't help but feel sorry for the pathetic creature. I'm not heartless, Yuki. I do pity him and even though I'm glad to see that you do too, I can't help but wonder what brought about this change in attitude."
He stroked Yuki's chin thoughtfully, watching as the younger boy struggled to keep his expression carefully blank. "Don't you think that Kyou needs to be punished? When you think about the pain and the grief that he has caused this family, it makes you realise that he hasn't suffered nearly enough. It's the curse of the cat, Yuki. It's an evil being, surely you must have realised this. You've seen it for yourself, seen what it's capable of doing. Why, it even killed its own mother and yet it continues to parade about insisting that it has done no wrong. Really, does it have no shame?"
Akito leaned forward and kissed Yuki's forehead tenderly, closing his eyes and breathing in the scent of his hair. It smelled fresh and clean, like strawberries and Akito took another sniff before pulling away and getting to his feet.
"As for your precious Honda-san...well, I allowed her into this family, did I not? She should know by now that to enter into the Souma family will only bring her pain and suffering. You know, I still can't believe that she could still care for Kyou even after seeing what he truly looks like. It does make you think, doesn't it? You know what they say...it takes one monster to understand another. The silly girl thinks that she can ease the pain of this family, to somehow make everything better just with that stupid smile of hers. But she doesn't understand. She can never understand. We were born this way, Yuki and it isn't something that is ever going to change. Surely you must have accepted this by now?"
He made his way casually over to the far corner of the room, all too aware of Yuki's gaze on his back as he brought out something that he hadn't had the chance to use in a good long while. Running his fingers over the small switch reverently, he kept it hidden behind his back until he crouched down next to Yuki again. With his free hand, he lifted one of Yuki's delicate feet and stared at it contemplatively.
"It's been so long since I've seen those pretty feet of yours, Yuki. You always do your best to keep them covered up. It makes me feel sad. Are you so ashamed of my love for you? Is it really such a bad thing?"
Yuki felt a sort of panicked calm come over him in the exact same way that it used to happen and he wondered if he was blanking out, like he did as a child, escaping from the pain. His mind however felt clear and he knew what was happening. There was rage inside him at Akito calling Tohru a monster. It was keeping him grounded at the moment, even as Akito's ghosting fingers trailed the tiny scars that covered the tops of his feet. He knew it was coming. He could take it. As a child, it was horror. He was older now. He had been trained to deal with physical pain. He calmed his wildly beating heart and shook his head. His words were childish and stuttered, but unabated.
"I know you love me," he whispered, even as the small whip trailed over his feet. "Is this what you want? Will you give me the bracelet if...if I give you this? I will, if...if you promise, Akito. Because Tohru is not a monster, nor is Kyou. They're humans...and I don't want to see them broken." He faced Akito bravely now, feeling a little of his fire back in his eyes. "If you promise, then I'll do as you ask. I won't run away."
"I am pleased with the obedience that you have shown towards me so far," Akito told him pleasantly, tracing patterns with the end of the whip gently over Yuki's stockinged feet.
"I was very happy that you decided to come and see me today. It must have taken a lot of courage for you to come and visit me on your own and I'm proud of that. However, I would like to see you again. After all, it has been so long since the two of us spent time alone together. Remember what I used to say to you, Yuki?"
'That you were my best friend and you always would be? It would make me even happier to know that you would agree to see me again after this. If you continue to please me with your obedience, then I would be all too happy to return the bracelet. For now though, I think that you should leave today with another memory of me, one that will last longer than I ever will. A memory that will never fade, that will always make you think of me. That's what I want, Yuki. I want you to think of me like I think of you."
He carefully eased Yuki's socks off his feet, nothing that the trembling mouse did nothing to assist him or deter him, which was promising behaviour. He placed Yuki's feet carefully back on the floor; admiring the scars he'd left behind previously. He'd make sure that Yuki would never forget him.
Raising his hand, he brought the whip down over first one foot, then the other, repeating the process over and over again until the blood started rushing in his ears and his breathing starting coming faster and faster in his excitement. At first, Yuki stayed silent, but eventually, he couldn't contain the little sobs and whimpers as Akito lashed out at his bare feet again and again. Suddenly, the whip fell from Akito's hands and he stared down at Yuki in shock. The younger boy had his head bowed and he was sniffling, but other than that, he wasn't making any noise. Akito dropped gracelessly to his knees before him and took his face in his palms.
"Yuki? Yuki, what's the matter? Why are you crying?" His gaze dropped and his eyes widened when he saw the crimson stains on Yuki's bare feet. "Yuki? You're...you're bleeding...you're hurt." He hugged Yuki to his chest, feeling the younger boy's body wracking with shudders. "You've hurt yourself, Yuki...I should go and fetch Hatori. Hatori will know what to do. Hatori will make it better."
Yuki got the usual odd feeling as Akito went from being cruel, to worried, and then loving. He never understood it, but it was just Akito's way. It was as if he didn't want to do the horrible things he did. It was confusing, but it was just there, like his love. He tortured Yuki mercilessly...and yet, Yuki knew he cared about him. They had just all accepted it.
Yuki felt dizzy from the stinging pain that travelled up from his feet through his spine and even into his fingers and he was once again shaking all over, but at the mention of Hatori's name, he clutched onto Akito's robes, shaking his head. He stared up at the head Souma pleadingly. "P-please, Akito. Don't tell him. I'm fine. I don't want to bother him now." Knowing he needed to do something to keep Akito from running to the doctor, he rose to his knees, hugging Akito and burying his face in the folds of the older boy's kimono. "Please. I need to get home to do my homework...and then...and then I can visit again. Please?"
He clutched tightly at Akito's unhealthily thin waist, more for support than any desire to embrace him, but he remembered his place here and he remembered how to plead properly with Akito, so he did. "Please. I'll be fine. Please, Akito-sama."
It hurt. God, it hurt, but it was not as unbearable now that he was older. He could deal with this somehow...at least until he got the bracelet back. He could do this. He had to. But he couldn't bear Hatori or Shigure knowing what went on behind these doors. He couldn't stand their pity. Akito seemed to relent, for he lowered until he was sitting with Yuki. He smiled kindly and placed a hand on the boy's chin, making Yuki shiver again. Drawing close, the older boy brushed a light kiss across Yuki's lips. "I'll see you soon, Yuki." He rose and walked out into the garden.
Yuki took a moment to slow his breathing and gather his courage. He carefully put his socks back on, ignoring the blood that leaked through. He would bandage it when he got home. Fortunately his shoes would cover so Haru wouldn't see. Standing and taking one more deep breath, he walked to the door, donned his shoes and left.
Tohru tried to stifle a yawn as she opened her locker, taking out the textbooks that she needed for her afternoon class. She had been working so hard lately, what with trying to save up some extra money and all that she hadn't been getting as much sleep as she should have done. She was thankful that Yuki or Shigure hadn't mentioned how much time she'd been spending at the hospital recently, although she was sure they must have noticed.
She was still worried sick about Kyou, but she knew that he was in good hands, with Yuki and Kazuma taking care of him and also Hatori dropping by every so often to check up on him. Tohru felt a little guilty that she hadn't been able to spend as much time with Kyou as she might have liked, but as she reminded herself, she was working the extra hours for a good reason. If only she could find the energy to stay awake during her classes now. None of her teachers had picked up on it yet, but she had caught Hana-chan watching her with a curious eye. Tohru was surprised that Hana-chan had so far refrained from questioning her. She had skimmed over the details of Kyou's accident to her friends and to the other pupils at school and she knew that both of her best friends were worried.
Tohru glanced up at the clock on the wall and panicked when she realised that she was late. She had promised to meet Uo-chan and Hana-chan before lunch break was over and she hurriedly gathered the rest of her things before slamming her locker door shut and scurrying off down the hallway.
She had been so busy with her notes and her bag however that she hadn't noticed where she was going and she uttered a little 'oof!' of surprise when she accidentally banged into someone. Her heart sank when she saw that it was one of the girls who always liked to swoon over Yuki and she bit her lip, hoping they wouldn't be too angry with her. "I'm so sorry!" she gasped, dusting herself off. "Are you okay?"
"Hmph! Tohru, you're so clumsy!" the girl said, furious, brushing herself off. "I don't know what Yuki sees in you!" Her two cronies nodded, never being seen without the other. Suddenly all three girls sighed in unison, looking upward with shimmering eyes.
"Ah!"
"Yuki is the most delicious piece of chocolate!"
"The most intelligent and sensitive of men!"
"Like a god, cast into our otherwise dull high school."
"AND CERTAINLY NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!" They said in unison, laughing their shrill laugh. For her part, Tohru simply stared, a perplexed smile on her face, still sitting on the floor. A sudden beeping caught the girl's attention and their heads perked up like frightened weasels.
"Oh no!" "It's her!"
"The wave woman!"
They turned to escape, only to find themselves blocked by a metal bar and a very perturbed blonde girl who seemed to tower miles over them.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"Eek!"
They turned and came face to face with their other worst fear...aside from rejection from the prince.
"Ha...Hanajima!"
"Hello," she said softly, staring at them. "Have you talked to Megumi lately? He thinks of you often. He watches you."
They wilted and ran away as fast as they could.
Tohru watched as they ran, unsure of whether to laugh or cry. She was grateful that she had Uo-chan and Hana-chan to look out for her, but now she was sure that they would be concerned about her too. Tohru sighed. It seemed that all she ever did lately was make people worry about her. In spite of her fatigue, she managed a bright smile for her friends. "I'm so sorry you had to come and look for me," she said, the words tumbling out of her mouth in a rush. "I realise now that I must have made you wait and I'm sorry that I'm so late, but I was just on my way and-" She broke off suddenly when she caught sight of Uo-chan cheerfully twirling her most trusted weapon and Tohru's expression turned mournful. "Uo-chan, you know how frightened people get when you carry that pipe around," she said, nodding thankfully at Hanajima as she helped her gather the rest of her scattered papers. "It's not good to solve things with violence. You don't have to be so concerned about me all the time. I'm fine, really, I am!"
Ignoring Hana-chan's sceptical expression, she continued on. "I was just being clumsy is all and they had every right to be angry with me for bumping into them like that. It was so silly of me, but really, I'm okay! Sorry again for making you wait!"
Uo made an annoyed sound. "Really, you need to learn to stand up for yourself, Tohru. Those girls don't deserve to walk the same ground as you. They're just bullies. You shouldn't make excuses for the likes of them." She reached down and helped her best friend up, brushing the girl off affectionately, though the halls were clean and she hadn't dirtied her clothes. The gesture was important.
Hanajima put a hand on Tohru's shoulder and placed her books back into the girl's arms, staring at her with care. "Tohru-chan acts as Tohru-chan is. Otherwise she wouldn't be who she is." "Dummy!" Uo scoffed in a friendly manner. "I'm just saying she should toughen up a little." "I think she has. You've had to, haven't you, Tohru?"
Tohru smiled at them, but her eyes were going glassy and her shoulders were starting to shake. A single sob escaped her. Uo looked at Hanajima with alarm and they quickly propelled the girl into the girl's bathroom. Uo sat her down by the window and Hanajima got a paper towel with some water, walking back and dabbing it at her eyes.
"Tohru, what's wrong?" Uo asked, holding the poor girl. She looked exhausted. "Are they mistreating you at that house?" she asked, a tinge of anger rising.
"No, no, of course not!" Tohru cried, waving her hands. "Yuki-kun and Shigure-san would never be so mean! I'm just...I'm really worried about Kyou-kun," she added, trying to stop sniffling. "And I haven't been sleeping well and..."
Hana-chan just made soft, soothing sounds and patted her back as she cried. Once she had started, it as impossible to stop, but once the tears were over, Tohru did find herself feeling a little better than before.
"I'm sorry," she said, letting Hanajima dab away the rest of the tearstains. "I'm so lucky to have such caring friends like you." She stared up at both Hanajima and Uo-chan with wide eyes and offered them a genuine smile this time. "I'm sorry I'm not tough enough yet, Uo-chan. Kyou-kun promised me to teach me some martial arts moves, but I'm not very good at it, I'm afraid. Then he got hurt of course, so now he won't be able to teach me anything for a long time. It was just scary," she admitted. "Seeing Kyou-kun so hurt and seeing everyone else so worried about him. And then we have exams to study for soon and I didn't want to bother Souma-kun by asking for his help and I've been working so hard at the hospital lately and..."
She breathed in deeply and forced herself to cheer up. "But it'll all be okay. I'll work through it! I just have to stay positive and believe in myself and I'll be just fine." She smiled at the two of them again. "I'm sorry I made you worry."
Uo smiled, summoning up her self-control to let things go. Tohru and all the Soumas had been extremely vague about what had happened to Kyou at first. Then, out of the blue, they all had the same story: that he had gotten ill and fallen on the wet road, injuring himself quite badly. She was worried herself. She missed teasing the easily excitable boy all the time.
As much as they squabbled, they had a sympathetic relationship, each understanding the other in a subtle way. But there was something about him...about the whole Sohma clan that smacked of secrets and not the good kind. The tall blonde had been very reluctant to let her gullible...no, easily impressionable friend go to live with them. But the love in her eyes for those two boys couldn't be resisted. She belonged there.
So rather than cuss out the whole of creation for picking on such a light headed, sweet hearted spirit, she sighed and hugged her friend as tight as she could without breaking her and grabbed her bag.
"If you say so, Tohru. Still, I think you should skip next period and clean yourself up, otherwise Prince Yuki-" She batted her eyelashes when she said it. "Will worry."
"Arisa is right, Tohru. I can stay with you and skip as well. After all, class is just a distraction to me."
Uo blanched. "It's not right that you say that so comfortably." Throwing her friend a 'take care of her' look, she grabbed her metal pipe and left the bathroom. "See ya!"
They were alone now and even though Tohru was smiling and furiously wiping her tears away, Hanajima gathered her in her arms, stroking her hair.
"You've been working so hard lately. Exhaustion results in depression. That's why I sleep through class."
In spite of her tiredness, Tohru couldn't help but laugh. She was so lucky to have such wonderful friends like Hana-chan and Uo-chan who both cared about her so much. Hana-chan just gave her a small smile and hugged her tighter as she continued to stroke her hair. Tohru smiled back as she let Hana-chan comfort her.
It felt so nice actually. Although both of her best friends were very affectionate by nature, Tohru couldn't remember the last time she'd had someone hold her like this, as though just being this close to someone could take away all the worries in the world. Sometimes, she wished she could hold Yuki and Kyou like this, but there was the curse to be reckoned with after all. Thankfully, Uo-chan and Hana-chan especially seemed to be willing to give her all the support and encouragement she needed and even a quick hug to pick her up from time to time. Being held by Hana-chan reminded Tohru of the way her mother used to hug her in the exact same way, making her feel so warm and safe.
Tohru sobered a little at the thought of her mother, but she pushed it away. "Hana-chan shouldn't sleep through class," she said, although she was still smiling. "Not paying attention gets you bad grades and also makes the teachers angry with you."
"I've read that it's healthy to express your anger. In fact, I'm doing the teachers a favour by allowing them to take out their pent up frustration on me," Hana said simply. "If I sleep through class, then I have energy for the rest of the day. Then I can attend to more important things," she continued, running her hands through Tohru's soft hair.
Though she didn't want the strange Souma with the cat attraction to be hurt since he cared for Tohru, she was glad that his injury had karmically driven Tohru into her arms today. It was something Hana always wanted but seldom received. She loved Tohru so dearly, but Tohru seemed so unreachable. She was perfect. She was beautiful and kind. But she seemed quite happy to be the centre of attention to Yuki and Kyou. So to have a chance to hold the wonderful girl in her arms, and just once, to pretend that maybe they were more than friends was it's own little heaven.
Pulling Tohru close, Hana placed a soft kiss on her fine brown hair. "Will you be all right?" she asked.
"I'll be fine," Tohru assured her, snuggling against Hanajima momentarily before pulling away again. "Thank you for cheering me up! Hana-chan is so kind!"
She allowed Hanajima to help her to her feet and then brushed herself off, picking up her book bag. "I managed to get a night off work this evening, so after class I'm going straight home to check on Kyou-kun. Yuki-kun said that he'd be out this evening, but I expect that Shigure-san will need something to eat too. Then I can finish all my homework and get an early night's sleep!"
She smiled sunnily at Hanajima who gave her a small smile of her own in return. She blushed when her stomach grumbled loudly and giggled nervously to try and cover it up. "I guess that means it's time to go to lunch," she said, still laughing. "Uo-chan will get impatient if she has to wait too long for us."
Hanajima nodded and Tohru turned to open the door, but was surprised when the other girl linked their arms together. Tohru blinked, startled and then smiled, hugging Hanajima's arm tightly as the two girls made their way to the cafeteria to meet up with Uo-chan. ~~
"Yuki..."
Akito's voice was soft and silky as he eased himself up into a sitting position, adjusting his kimono and smiling up at his visitor. "What a pleasant surprise. I wasn't expecting to see you quite so soon." The younger boy just stood in the doorway looking as though he was about to bolt at any minute, so Akito decided to give him a little encouragement. "Come now, Yuki, don't just stand there. You're making the place look untidy."
The younger Souma did so, carefully toeing off his shoes and placing them on the floor. "The door, please, if you don't mind."
Akito barely managed to hold back his smile at the stricken expression on Yuki's face, but again, the boy did as he was told, slowly making his way over to the door and pulling it shut. Akito didn't miss the flash of familiar black and white hair before the door slid to completely though and he frowned slightly. So Yuki hadn't come alone this time...but there were still plenty of other opportunities to be had.
Akito still had the bracelet in his possession after all and with that came the extra power he'd needed to wield over Yuki and lure him away from the false protection of Shigure's house. All of this, just for one stupid cat. Then again, all Kyou had ever done was cause trouble for the Souma family.
It was almost too perfect, too cruel to fill the idiot cat with the hope that somehow Yuki might be able to get his precious bracelet back when Akito intended on keeping it away from him for as long as possible. He had been worried initially that Shigure might have proved to be a bit of a problem to him, but it seemed that even his faithful dog had known when to back off.
Allowing him and Hatori their relationship had been one of the cleverest things he'd done. Hatori was always perfectly obedient to him, but Akito had known that even he would hesitate to do anything that might cause harm to Shigure.
Akito had briefly entertained the thought of getting Hatori to erase Shigure's memories, knowing that it would be the one thing that would finally break the man, but in the end, he had dismissed it. He loved Hatori, just like he loved Shigure. He would allow them what little happiness he could give them. For the time being anyway. He loved the two of them like he loved all of the Souma clan. It was his job to protect his family and in return, it was their job to take care of him, to obey his every order. After all, he was only acting in their best interests.
Akito smiled again and beckoned for Yuki to come closer. "Please, sit down. Tell me...did you have a good day at school? I imagine that Kyou must be falling back on his studies by now. He's missed quite a lot of schooling. It would be such a shame if he were to fail his courses. Don't you think so?"
Yuki swallowed, his mouth opening and closing, but it was like his chest was so tight, he could barely breath. He had been doing well until Akito had asked him to close the door, but now that he was here again, his fear was threatening to overwhelm him. He could feel a cold sheen of sweat breaking out over his skin. His words were choked in his throat, his eyes focused on the figure who leaned languidly against the mantle, fingering a rose as his dark eyes raked over him. Akito's expression was that of a patiently sympathetic schoolteacher as Yuki searched for the words that had abandoned him.
The last time he had been here, Tohru, Hatori and Shigure had been with him and he had been able to cope. Akito's attention had been focused on her, not him. Now he was here again, alone, after so many years. He was trembling so hard, he felt as if he could barely keep his hands clasped. He wanted to run, but he was frozen to the spot. When he vaguely heard Akito mention Kyou though, he remembered why he had come and he concentrated on breathing. He was okay for now. Haru was right outside. Akito would be cautious this time.
"Akito..." He glanced up and caught anger in the young man's eyes and he added the honorary. "...sama." Akito smiled once again and Yuki took a deep breath, speaking quietly, trying not to get lost in memory. "School w-was very good. Kyou...Kyou has been doing makeup assignments at home, but he wishes to return if he may." Yuki looked up pleadingly.
"Is that so?" Akito's voice was thoughtful. "Shigure tells me that our dear kitten actually does well when he's at school. Who'd have thought? Still, it's not like he's ever going to beat you though, is it? He'll never beat you at anything he does. I've tried to explain this to him, you know. I've been patient. I've tried my best, but he just doesn't seem to want to accept the fact that you are better than he is in every way that is possible. But come, I didn't bring you here to talk about *him*."
Akito was pleased to see that Yuki's trembling had increased when he'd inched a little closer and he reached a hand out so that he could touch Yuki's cheek. His skin was as soft as peaches, as pale as moonlight and lovely to the touch. "I bet that you're glad that you weren't born in Kyou's place, Yuki. Everybody knows that the mouse is the luckiest of all the animals of the zodiac, the most loved and looked up to, but nobody loves the cat. The cat is nothing but trouble and always has been. Isn't that what I've always told you? What I've always warned you about?"
He brushed away a stray strand of Yuki's hair, smiling at the way his eyes widened considerably. Silly boy. Even after all this time, Yuki was still so afraid of him and that fear made Akito feel even more powerful than usual. It was good to know that Yuki hadn't forgotten about him. That was one of the things he worried most about.
Being the head of the Juunishi circle meant that his life would be over almost as soon as it had begun. He wouldn't have much time left to govern his precious family any longer, but the one thing he wanted to do, needed to do before he left was to make sure that none of them would ever forget him.
Rubbing his thumb slowly back and forth over Yuki's cheek, Akito continued speaking softly. "Do you remember the last time you and I were alone in this room together, Yuki? It has been such a long time after all. I was so worried that you wouldn't remember."
Yuki closed his eyes and fought back a choked sob, but a small whimper escaped his lips anyway and he knew Akito would be pleased. His memories were washing over him like unrelenting ice cold waves and he felt his last four years of freedom disappear like shadow guardians that were never really there. He was back here, in the unlit room, the closet, the pain. It was as if his fear had increased with the absence and the passage of time. Akito's fingers on his cheek and his hair sent violent shocks of terror through his body and he knew he would hyperventilate if he weren't careful.
Remembering what Kazuma had taught him, he focused on the past good times, forcing up images of Tohru and her presence to his mind. He thought of Haru, calm and supportive in the next room. He thought of Shigure and his wild antics that made life a little more bearable. He thought of Momiji, the bright light of the Souma clan. He then thought of Kyou, proud but afraid, lying at home, wondering if he had a future to look forward to.
It was the last image that brought Yuki under control and he felt the tightness around his heart ease a bit. He wasn't a coward. He wouldn't run away. Kyou had a future, just like the rest of them. For the good of the whole family, Kyou mattered just as much of the rest of them. He was human, just like they all were, no matter what Akito said, no matter what the head of the clan had whispered in his ear so many times since childhood. Yuki could not be biased. He had spent his whole life believing that he himself was more than an animal, and yet, he treated the cat like all the rest. Stupid and worthless.
Kyou may have abandoned him...but he had changed, and no matter what, he was still a human. The Kyou now was not the heartless child of the past. Yuki could forgive him. He had to. It was in the past, and the future was what was important. Yuki finally found the courage to speak normally, though the tremor that quaked his vocal chords still betrayed his fear.
"Akito, I..." he cleared his throat. His voice was too quiet. "I know what you want. I don't know why you're using Kyou. You know I don't like him...but...he's important to Tohru, and I don't want to see her hurt."
He slowly met his master's eyes and he felt a little strength. "If you could find the mercy in your heart to forgive the Cat any indiscretions...I will try to do as you ask. But please give the bracelet back." He looked up, not daring to touch the enigmatic prince of the Soumas for fear of angering him, though his hand reached out. "Surely you can see that it's dangerous. If anyone was to see the evil cat..."
He lowered his hand. He didn't know what else to say.
"Yuki, Yuki..." Akito tutted his tongue and shook his head. "You don't have to be so concerned for the cat. Why do you worry about anyone seeing his true form when even he can't stand to see it himself? Still, you can't help but feel sorry for the pathetic creature. I'm not heartless, Yuki. I do pity him and even though I'm glad to see that you do too, I can't help but wonder what brought about this change in attitude."
He stroked Yuki's chin thoughtfully, watching as the younger boy struggled to keep his expression carefully blank. "Don't you think that Kyou needs to be punished? When you think about the pain and the grief that he has caused this family, it makes you realise that he hasn't suffered nearly enough. It's the curse of the cat, Yuki. It's an evil being, surely you must have realised this. You've seen it for yourself, seen what it's capable of doing. Why, it even killed its own mother and yet it continues to parade about insisting that it has done no wrong. Really, does it have no shame?"
Akito leaned forward and kissed Yuki's forehead tenderly, closing his eyes and breathing in the scent of his hair. It smelled fresh and clean, like strawberries and Akito took another sniff before pulling away and getting to his feet.
"As for your precious Honda-san...well, I allowed her into this family, did I not? She should know by now that to enter into the Souma family will only bring her pain and suffering. You know, I still can't believe that she could still care for Kyou even after seeing what he truly looks like. It does make you think, doesn't it? You know what they say...it takes one monster to understand another. The silly girl thinks that she can ease the pain of this family, to somehow make everything better just with that stupid smile of hers. But she doesn't understand. She can never understand. We were born this way, Yuki and it isn't something that is ever going to change. Surely you must have accepted this by now?"
He made his way casually over to the far corner of the room, all too aware of Yuki's gaze on his back as he brought out something that he hadn't had the chance to use in a good long while. Running his fingers over the small switch reverently, he kept it hidden behind his back until he crouched down next to Yuki again. With his free hand, he lifted one of Yuki's delicate feet and stared at it contemplatively.
"It's been so long since I've seen those pretty feet of yours, Yuki. You always do your best to keep them covered up. It makes me feel sad. Are you so ashamed of my love for you? Is it really such a bad thing?"
Yuki felt a sort of panicked calm come over him in the exact same way that it used to happen and he wondered if he was blanking out, like he did as a child, escaping from the pain. His mind however felt clear and he knew what was happening. There was rage inside him at Akito calling Tohru a monster. It was keeping him grounded at the moment, even as Akito's ghosting fingers trailed the tiny scars that covered the tops of his feet. He knew it was coming. He could take it. As a child, it was horror. He was older now. He had been trained to deal with physical pain. He calmed his wildly beating heart and shook his head. His words were childish and stuttered, but unabated.
"I know you love me," he whispered, even as the small whip trailed over his feet. "Is this what you want? Will you give me the bracelet if...if I give you this? I will, if...if you promise, Akito. Because Tohru is not a monster, nor is Kyou. They're humans...and I don't want to see them broken." He faced Akito bravely now, feeling a little of his fire back in his eyes. "If you promise, then I'll do as you ask. I won't run away."
"I am pleased with the obedience that you have shown towards me so far," Akito told him pleasantly, tracing patterns with the end of the whip gently over Yuki's stockinged feet.
"I was very happy that you decided to come and see me today. It must have taken a lot of courage for you to come and visit me on your own and I'm proud of that. However, I would like to see you again. After all, it has been so long since the two of us spent time alone together. Remember what I used to say to you, Yuki?"
'That you were my best friend and you always would be? It would make me even happier to know that you would agree to see me again after this. If you continue to please me with your obedience, then I would be all too happy to return the bracelet. For now though, I think that you should leave today with another memory of me, one that will last longer than I ever will. A memory that will never fade, that will always make you think of me. That's what I want, Yuki. I want you to think of me like I think of you."
He carefully eased Yuki's socks off his feet, nothing that the trembling mouse did nothing to assist him or deter him, which was promising behaviour. He placed Yuki's feet carefully back on the floor; admiring the scars he'd left behind previously. He'd make sure that Yuki would never forget him.
Raising his hand, he brought the whip down over first one foot, then the other, repeating the process over and over again until the blood started rushing in his ears and his breathing starting coming faster and faster in his excitement. At first, Yuki stayed silent, but eventually, he couldn't contain the little sobs and whimpers as Akito lashed out at his bare feet again and again. Suddenly, the whip fell from Akito's hands and he stared down at Yuki in shock. The younger boy had his head bowed and he was sniffling, but other than that, he wasn't making any noise. Akito dropped gracelessly to his knees before him and took his face in his palms.
"Yuki? Yuki, what's the matter? Why are you crying?" His gaze dropped and his eyes widened when he saw the crimson stains on Yuki's bare feet. "Yuki? You're...you're bleeding...you're hurt." He hugged Yuki to his chest, feeling the younger boy's body wracking with shudders. "You've hurt yourself, Yuki...I should go and fetch Hatori. Hatori will know what to do. Hatori will make it better."
Yuki got the usual odd feeling as Akito went from being cruel, to worried, and then loving. He never understood it, but it was just Akito's way. It was as if he didn't want to do the horrible things he did. It was confusing, but it was just there, like his love. He tortured Yuki mercilessly...and yet, Yuki knew he cared about him. They had just all accepted it.
Yuki felt dizzy from the stinging pain that travelled up from his feet through his spine and even into his fingers and he was once again shaking all over, but at the mention of Hatori's name, he clutched onto Akito's robes, shaking his head. He stared up at the head Souma pleadingly. "P-please, Akito. Don't tell him. I'm fine. I don't want to bother him now." Knowing he needed to do something to keep Akito from running to the doctor, he rose to his knees, hugging Akito and burying his face in the folds of the older boy's kimono. "Please. I need to get home to do my homework...and then...and then I can visit again. Please?"
He clutched tightly at Akito's unhealthily thin waist, more for support than any desire to embrace him, but he remembered his place here and he remembered how to plead properly with Akito, so he did. "Please. I'll be fine. Please, Akito-sama."
It hurt. God, it hurt, but it was not as unbearable now that he was older. He could deal with this somehow...at least until he got the bracelet back. He could do this. He had to. But he couldn't bear Hatori or Shigure knowing what went on behind these doors. He couldn't stand their pity. Akito seemed to relent, for he lowered until he was sitting with Yuki. He smiled kindly and placed a hand on the boy's chin, making Yuki shiver again. Drawing close, the older boy brushed a light kiss across Yuki's lips. "I'll see you soon, Yuki." He rose and walked out into the garden.
Yuki took a moment to slow his breathing and gather his courage. He carefully put his socks back on, ignoring the blood that leaked through. He would bandage it when he got home. Fortunately his shoes would cover so Haru wouldn't see. Standing and taking one more deep breath, he walked to the door, donned his shoes and left.