A/N: Jasper has gone a little off the deep end. Some of his thoughts are not pleasant, especially towards himself. He is not mentally stable at this point and needs more help than Edward, or anyone in the story can provide. If any of you have similar thoughts regarding your personal health and state of being, please seek help from a medical professional.

JPOV

"You think you can kill me off that easily, do you, Master?" James' voice called to me from my subconscious as I tried to wake. An arm fell over my side and I panicked. Was I on the dock? Where was James? I thought Edward had come? Edward. I could smell him behind me. It was just Edward.

My heart slowed down until memories of what I'd done crashed over me. I didn't fight the sobs as I began to shake. I'd killed, again. I should just turn myself in to Aro before I destroy everyone around me.

Edward pulled me back against his chest, just holding me, loving me, doing the only thing he could for a monster like me. I have to leave him. He'll never understand that I'm doing it to keep him safe, safe from me. He should never have seen me like this.

"God, Jasper! What the hell happened?"

Edward kneeled beside me on the swaying dock, his weight dropping us lower so that James was fully submerged once again. James' face blurred with Maria's in my mind. Only this time, there was blood on my hands.

"James...blood...Maria..." She didn't have any because I strangled her. I knocked him unconscious and then drowned him. I'm a monster. I shouldn't be allowed to live. I need to go to my Master. He'll make it all go away and then he'll punish me. The pain will all go away again. I'm sorry, James. You just wanted to be loved. So do I. I had to protect my mates. You were going to hurt everyone I care about. You had to go away.

A warm hand pressed against my head. Edward, my beloved Edward, called my name He wanted me to look at him. Why did he want to look at a murderer? Does he want me to see the hate in his eyes? There was so much blood, I'm probably covered in it. I should have drowned myself in it before Edward found me.

I raised my chin, looking into his eyes, his forehead wrinkled with worry. "It's okay, Jasper."

No, it will never be okay for you again. He was going to hurt you. I had to stop him. Tears began to flow, my body quivering with silent sobs. I'd killed to save you. "Stalking…couldn't let him…have to protect what's mine…what I love…"

Edward pulled me against his chest, my bloody hands still hanging uselessly at my sides. "Shhh, it's okay, Jasper, baby, I'll take care of you."

I felt him pull me to my feet, trying to lead me to the house. Doesn't he understand? I have to stay and make sure James is dead. I can't have him come back. He'll destroy them all and turn the pieces of their broken lives over to Aro.

"The body. He has to be dead. He can't live…not and go back to Aro." I'd spoken Master's name. Now Edward will know. He might try to go after my master. I'll have to protect Edward twenty four seven. I just want to make it all go away. I should have just stayed with Mistress. She made all of the hard work go away. As long as I listened, I was pampered. I can't go back to her. I killed her too. My legs began to buckle beneath me and Edward took all of my weight onto him.

"Jasper, it's okay, really. I'll…I'll make sure he's dead, alright? Just stay there."

Edward had a light and before I could warn him about the family across the lake, he shone it on the water. James, my beautiful but deadly James, was floating. His skin was pale, like Maria's had been, his eyes wide. I couldn't even close them. Blood floated on the water, swirling like a piece of art.

Edward reached down, knocking me from the state of hypnosis watching the water had created. I tried to stop him, my hand connecting with his ankle. Don't touch him, Edward! My mind screamed but no words would come out. He'll pull you in. I can't lose you too.

"I have to make sure he's dead, Jasper."

I watched, dumbly, as Edward felt James for a pulse. He did not respond but grabbed for the fishing pole I'd used and held James' body under the surface long past any chance for an air bubble to surface. He's gone. He is dead.

"No, I am not. But you will be soon enough."

James' voice spoke from beside me. I saw him there for just a moment, and then it flickered back to the dark dock.

Edward began to panic and then calmed himself, his breath patterns following those I'd taught him. If only I could recall them and use them myself. I have to stop Edward. He can't do this. They can't pin this on him. Just me. I'll accept any punishment to save Edward.

I couldn't help but stare as Edward broke my favorite fishing pole into several pieces, wiped them off with his shirt and then using his shirt sleeve to grab them, tossed the pieces out into the lake. Where did he learn this? What have I done to him? I should have protected him from this. He shouldn't have followed me home.

He smiled at me, as if reading my thoughts. "I've watched quite a few cop shows." Edward offered me his hand and I took it, numbly letting him lead me to the house. I heard the sound of ringing come from his phone and began to panic. He's not going to turn me in, is he? He wouldn't do that, would he? Edward's hand stroked my side lightly as we walked, reassuring me that it was fine.

"Edward! Oh my God! Is Jasper okay?!" Bella's voice was audible through the phone.

"Jasper's fine, Bella, love. James…got mad, he…walked out, Jasper said he left. Jasper's kinda…torn up about things. He feels really bad. Do you mind if I stay a while?" He's going to lie, for me? I should make him go and forget all about me. I never should have told him that I love him. He's going to get in trouble, all for me. He can't. I can't let him ruin his life, their lives, for me.

"Does he want me to go over there?"

No. No, you can't go. But you can't leave. I don't want to be alone but you have to stay safe. Safe is away from me.

"Look after our Jasper, Edward. Come and get me in the morning?" Our Jasper? Bella still considers me their Jasper. She won't when she finds out what I've done. I need to leave, I need to go away. Or maybe I should just end it all as soon as he leaves. A lovers' quarrel is what the police would deem it. Master would know but he'd never tell the authorities anything.

Edward snapped his phone shut, pulling me from my thoughts. "You're a very good liar, Edward."

He shrugged beside me. "On occasion. I hate blatantly lying to Bella, but I can't tell her this. It has to stay between the two of us. If this is ever found out…"

No one can ever find out! I have to protect you. I can call it in and take the blame. You'll be long gone by then. But what can I tell Edward? "We'll leave him tonight. In the morning, I'll call it in, say we found him when we went for our run. He hadn't gone anywhere, just slipped and fell into the water. He'd had a few glasses of wine. The tox screen would show that."

We made it to the house and Edward indicated the spot I'd left the suitcase. "Is this James'?"

"No, but it has all his stuff in it."

Edward nodded and wiped off the handle with a piece of cloth. It looked like the handkerchief I'd lent him after one of our sessions when he left in tears. "If we put it down on the dock, we can say that he went out to cool down before he left. You were distraught, you stayed in the rest of the evening after you got home. I came over, found you disturbed over your "lover's quarrel" and yes, that is what we'll say to the police, alright?"

He's coming to the same lie I did. Perhaps it is plausible. "That…that makes sense. It won't be hard to fake the rest. A…uhm, my master will handle anything else as long as he believes it was an accident."

Edward grasped my side tightly, pulling me to him. "I didn't see anything. I only saw you on the dock. So, what we are going to say is that I didn't do anything, didn't see anything but find you in here crying in the living room. Understand?"

He pushed me down onto the futon and went to the kitchen. The microwave dinged a minute and a half later, and I heard a spoon dinging on the sides of a ceramic mug. Edward brought me out a cup of instant hot chocolate, most likely the dregs of a long forgotten box before Alice bought me the espresso maker. I tried to tease him but it came out sounding flat. "What? No marshmallows?"

"What is it with you and refusing to eat healthy?"

"I like to live dangerously." I took a sip from the mug and then quickly downed it, relishing the burn it made. Feeling anything was good, even the pain. It meant that I was alive for however long my Master or I decided to allow.

The mug was empty except for some clumps of unmixed chocolate when I set it down on the table before us. The heat relaxed me and suddenly I felt overwhelmed. It was all too much and I just wanted to fade away. I wanted it all to leave me alone. Why couldn't I just live happily in my bubble with Edward and Bella? That world is easy. This one is hard.

"You think your life is hard? Just wait for your death, Master." James' voice was a low whisper, causing me to shudder. At least Edward is safe from him.

"I think…I think I've had enough excitement for the night." I'll sleep and it will all be over. Master will make it all go away. I'll be back in cuffs by tomorrow night and he'll strap me until the pain is gone.

"Let's get you to bed, Jasper."

I let Edward assist me down the hall. I could barely stand. He should have just left me on the futon. I can take care of the mess in the morning. Edward undressed me gently, his hands barely touching my skin as he stripped the blood smeared and wet clothes from me.

"Edward…" I needed to thank him, for everything.

"Shhh," He silenced me with a kiss. His lips were soft and tasted of the wine at supper. "I'll be right back. I'm going to take care of some things."

He picked up my clothing and then it dawned on me. The evidence. He was going to take care of everything. He was a better master than I was. He could still think under the pressure. Edward doesn't need me anymore.

"Be careful." His face twitched, the stone facade cracking slightly. He went back outside, leaving me to get comfortable on the bed. I wanted to shower, but my legs wouldn't work. I was slowly dying from the inside out. The door closing was the last thing I heard until the dreams started.

It was still dark when I opened my eyes and turned to look at Edward. He was naked, the sheet pulled down below his waist. His cock was hard, morning wood not true arousal, against my thigh. At my movement, Edward leaned in against me, whispering my name.

Pain, like glass in my soul, ricocheted through me at that one simple word, at the simple act of his trust in me. Edward had watched me kill someone, had disposed of the evidence, and then came to hold me all night. He still loves me. .

"Edward, you need to wake up and go home. Bella will be expecting you soon."

"I'll call in. I'm staying with you, Jasper. You need me."

I brushed the hair out of his still closed eyes and kissed Edward's forehead. The wayward bronze strands tickled my nose as they flopped back down, forcing a smile from me when nothing else could.

"You're smiling."

Edward turned his face up to look at me, his eyes seeking mine sleepily.

"Your hair was tickling me."

He brought a hand up to brush it back, moving to cup my cheek. "Sorry, it has a mind of its own. How are you, love?"

I closed my eyes and wished that the world could just leave me be. "History has often told us that everything looks better after a night of sleep. Who ever decided that must have gone blind by morning. I have, we have, calls to make, if you are going to be here?

Edward nodded, his eyes hardening. "We have to call it in, don't we?"

"Yeah. Let's get our jogging clothes on. I've got a spare set of shorts and a shirt you can wear. Do I want to know about your other clothes?"

He shook his head infinitesimally. "They're taken care of along with everything else the sicko had in his room."

The pictures. "You saw?"

"I saw everything. You saved us, Jasper. He would have hurt Bella."

I rolled out of bed and quickly showered while Edward stripped the bed and made it up again with fresh linens. He'd tried to join me in the shower but I'd stopped him with just a shake of the head. I couldn't have him touching me. I don't deserve any kindness, especially from him. I don't deserve his love. I only deserve the pain. Master will come for me soon once he finds out.

I went through my morning routine, frowning that my toothbrush was in the wrong slot on the holder. I peeked out of the bathroom with my brush in hand and watched his naked form smooth the comforter down the bed. My cock began to stir, brushing against the terrycloth, when Edward leaned, his ass clearly visible in the morning light creeping over the horizon and through the windows.

"Did you use my toothbrush, Edward?"

He jumped and then turned to face me, fear coming over his features. "I... I didn't want to go to bed without brushing my teeth and I hadn't planned on staying so I didn't have my brush and then I figured since you've fucked me in the ass and I've sucked your cock, what did a few more exchanged germs mean and..."

I held up my hand, silencing him. "It's fine, Edward. I don't mind. I just... I don't know. I was trying to be funny. I can't do anything right."

I felt tears falling down my cheeks and against my chest right before his arms enveloped me. Safety and warmth surrounded me. These were the gifts Edward brought and the gifts that would see me through. I could do anything with him at my side, even leave him. Perhaps Master will let me say goodbye so that Edward does not look for me.

Edward let go and returned quickly with my track shorts and my favorite blue tee shirt. It was worn and the faded letters of "Country Boy" across the front. It was one of the few shirts Alice had kept after I'd gone on assignment. She was wearing it the day I left.

"She didn't leave you, I took her away, just like I will them."

I shook my head, clearing James' whispered words from my mind. "Are you going to be okay, Jasper? I can handle the calls, you stay inside. I can do it."

"No. I just need to get moving. Let's do this. But, Edward, I need you to promise me something. If it comes down to it, you let me take the fall. My master will protect me from the law. I will not let you and Bella be destroyed because I made you fall in love with me."

Edward's eyes flashed with fire and he argued that I hadn't. If I hadn't come into his life, he never would have been in the position to grow feelings for someone besides his wife. I stopped his argument with a finger against his lips. Verbally sparring with the one person who loves me is not what I needed before we went outside to face the nightmare I'd created.

Edward dressed me and then quickly threw on a pair from the laundry basket. He took out two sets of dress clothes and set one across the bed and I listened as he stored the other in the guest bathroom along with his loafers. He'd started keeping his running shoes here so they were already in my bedroom closet.

"Ma-Jasper, let's go for our run. It will clear your head some. Come on."

I slid my shoes on and followed after him, flipping the switch on the coffee pot as we walked through the kitchen out of habit. I would need the caffeine later. The land line began to ring so I grabbed the phone on the wall.

"Whitlock residence, Jasper speaking."

"Ahh, good, you are home, my pet." Aro's voice was a silky whisper through the phone.

"Good afternoon to you, Master. How may I help you, Sir?"

Edward stopped in his tracks, looking at me wide-eyed.

"Jasper, James was supposed to call me last night and didn't. Did you tie him up?"

"Jazzy, come on, it's time for our run. Whoever it is, can wait." Edward pitched his voice so that it sounded as if he called from the door not just eight feet away.

"No, the call can't. Go on ahead, I'll catch up with you." Edward opened and closed the screen, still watching me closely. "I'm sorry, Master. My friend is impatient. No, I did not tie James up. We had a fight last night when I told him he had to stay. He took off for a walk to cool down and I went to bed. I left the house unlocked but his bed looked like he hadn't been back."

"You had a fight with James yet you're going out for a run with a friend?"

"Yes, Master. I run every morning. Some times, my friend Edward comes along."

Master Aro chuckled. "I take it that Edward is your special friend James spoke of? The one who is married..."

"We are intimate, yes, Master."

"Oh, you have been a naughty naughty boy, my little Jasper! Tell me, is this friend beautiful?"

"He is, Sir, but not more so than any of the slaves you have claimed before." I was blatantly lying and hopefully only Edward could tell.

Master let out a sigh. "It is a pity. I was hoping you could add some fresh blood to my stock. I'll be coming in the next month or so to bring James home and to collect more subs. We have an order for two male subs. Fill the order for me, will you, pet? I will send Eleazar the request."

"Yes, Sir. I will get on it right away for you. Thank you, Master."

"Have James call me whenever he has cooled off and comes home. He is not to run off on you like that. James should have known better. Take care of yourself my pet. I would like some time with you when I come to visit. Your subs could use a proper show and you know how you crave my touch."

"Always, Master."

"Ciao." Master ended the call, leaving me to focus on not passing out. Aro, coming here? I have enough cash in reserves that I could get Edward and Bella out of the area for a while. Carlisle would accept my word without question about giving both of them paid or unpaid time off.

"That was your master?"

I nodded in response to Edward's question. "James was supposed to check in last night and didn't. I've fucked up, Edward. I don't know what to do."

He crossed the distance in a mere three paces, his long legs toned from our runs. He brushed the tears from my eyes and kissed me softly, leaning into me. "I'll take care of it all. He was your lover, you fought, I found you inside after a quarrel. That's all you need to know. You kept up the story with Aro just fine. We'll go out for our run, we'll run by the lake, see the suitcase, and call the police. If they question you about any bruising, you refuse to answer until you've spoken with a legal representative and then you call to Italy."

I scrubbed at the tears with the back of my hand. "You're right, Edward. Thank you. I don't know what I'd do without you."

He smiled and kissed me, his tongue coaxing my lips to part. I returned Edward's sudden passion with a stroke of my tongue against his, earning a slow growl. His hand slid between us, cupping my cock. I shook my head, breaking free of the kiss.

"No, Edward. Not now."

He kissed me again. "Let me make you forget, just for a minute or two. You saved my life and Bella's. Let me do this to distract you from what is coming."

Edward's fingers teased the smooth skin beneath the waist band, following the heat to where my cock began to pulse in anticipation. Hooking his other hand in the elastic, he lowered my shorts and kneeled, his face level with my cock.

"Edward, no, it's not... You don't."

"Shh. Just feel."

Edward leaned forward and nuzzled my cock, placing a thousand soft kisses along my shaft. Butterfly kisses with a flicking tongue across the head as I swelled at his touch. He took me into his mouth, still soft, and gently sucked while stroking with his lips and tongue. I stiffened with each pass of his lips until I was hard as rock from his ministrations.

Edward's hands cupped my buttocks, squeezing as he worked up and down my length. "Fuck, Edward. It's not right when..." I broke off with a groan as he hummed around me. One hand slid down my ass and thigh to the bottom hem of my shorts, traveling up to tease my entrance. His finger slid back and forth without pressure, making me want more, as his tongue fluttered deliciously along me, bringing my passions to a boil. I was going to come too soon.

"Come for me, Jasper."

Maria's voice filtered through my unconscious, my eyes flashing open to see Edward's emerald eyes looking up at me, sometimes switching to James' blue. I imagined the rough rake of her jeweled nails across my nipples and came with a gush down Edward's throat.

"Fuck, Edward!"

"It's not Edward, pet. You're stuck here with your mistress. Didn't you miss me, Jasper? I've missed you. You were such a bad little pet wanting to kill my Jamey. Apologize to him."

I felt a warm hand snake up my stomach and then grip my hand, hard. "Come back to me, Jasper. I'm here. Your memories can't hurt you here."

I looked down at his precious face and gave him a smile. Traces of my seed were on his lips and I reached down to wipe across them with my thumb. His tongue caught my thumb, licking the drops he'd missed.

"I love you, Jasper." Edward stood and kissed me, our lips meeting for just a moment before he pulled away. "I'll race you to the gazebo."

His lighthearted voice was forced, trying to make the next ten minutes easier. I could do this, right? I took a deep breath, tucked my spent cock back into my shorts, and moved through the living room to the door. With a last glance at the house, I stepped outside. If Master cannot save me, this may be my last look.

George left our therapy session and I laid my head down on my desk. After a call to Aro, Edward and I were told not to leave the city but otherwise the police were more than happy to let us go on Aro's word that we were not involved. A lover's quarrel and then an accident are their current theories although Edward and I were both told we could expect to be questioned in depth later. It didn't hurt that the detectives assigned to the case were both on Aro's payroll.

I explained James' prior history with Edward's brother, as best as we could determine it, and Master Aro apologized. He claimed that he was not aware that a ticking time bomb had been sent back with me. If I'd called Aro first, and Edward not been here, there would have been no questioning what so ever.

As it is, Aro has to come and claim the body. I am not looking forward to having my master here. I would much rather go to him, taking the coffin with me.

"Jasper, can I come in?"

Edward's voice called to me from the door, the timbre warming me despite my apathy. "Hello, Edward. Of course, please come in. I'm done with patients for the day. I have some dictation to do and then I was going to head home. I think it is a good night for tequila after the morning we had."

He let out a forced laugh, putting his face into his hands. "I actually... Master, I actually have us an appointment at the tank. I thought some quiet space away from all stress would help. I had set it up last week and karma just happened to be with us when the nurse called to remind me. Normally tonight is our therapy night so I didn't see there being a problem. I know I should have asked you first, but well, I just thought it would be nice."

I rested my head on the cool paper of my desk calendar once again, my face turned to see Edward. "It's fine, darlin'. I am not really up for doing much in the line of helping you tonight but if you want to talk, I am more than happy to listen. I've gotta run home before then. I want to shower and then Detective Mauwer wanted me to check in."

"It is all going to be okay, Jasper. Your master said so. Just trust him on this. What he can't take care of, I will. Let me be there for you, Jasper, the way you've been here for me while I dealt with Mr. Burns."

Edward came around my desk and knelt beside me, rubbing my shoulder. "I have a patient in a half hour so I should go review the chart one more time. I'll see you tonight at six thirty, Jazz. I love you."

"I love you too."

Edward leaned down and kissed my temple before walking away. "See you tonight."

I waved my hand from beside my head and continued to just stare at the door as he closed it. My cellphone buzzed some time later, looking at the clock, it was going on three o clock. I opened the phone, sighing softly to myself.

"Hello, Master."

"I understand that you've been told to stay in the city but otherwise this morning went smoothly. The police agree with you that James slipped and hit his head. A pity. I would have enjoyed forcing you back here and strapping you for costing me one of my best toys."

You're going to have me soon enough, Master. I can't take the guilt. "Master, can I come home with you after you come to collect James?"

He was silent for a moment, taking a few drags off of a cigarette it sounded like. "If that is your desire, I will gladly welcome you home. How long of a stay do you desire?"

"Master, I want to stay permanently. I failed you, I failed myself. I need to come home."

"Then home you shall come. I will be there in the next week some time. It is the soonest they are willing to cut the tape for me without gaining attention. Gianna will forward Eleazar the information. Be packed and ready."

"Yes, Master."

"Make your goodbyes. We won't tarry after I've come to pick you up. Until then, my pet."

"Farewell, Master."

Master Aro ended the call and I shoved my phone back into my pocket. I powered off my computer and locked my drawers. I forced myself to stand and shuffled one foot after the other.

The drive home went slowly, stopping for a sandwich on the way. I was just going to get a po'boy but then decided some comfort food was in order. Southern fried chicken, mashed potatoes, buttered corn, cole slaw, and hot biscuits with honey butter covered my seat along with two huge cups of tea. I had the girl at the window give me sugar packets that I pulled over to dump into the plastic glasses.

I drank both glasses and had eaten most of the food by the time I got home. The rest I carried in and put on the counter. I'd finish it later tonight before it went bad.

"Do you miss me, Jasper?"

I turned around at the sound of James' voice but couldn't find him. The house was empty except for me. I walked back to his bedroom and the mirror showed his face beside me, yet he was gone when I turned to leave his rom.

"You can't get rid of me, Master. I'm a part of you now. Come with me, it would be easy. Just a swallow of water with those pills you keep in the bathroom cabinet. That would be the easiest on your precious Cullen. He'll be the one to find you, you know. Alice won't come out for weeks, but Edward will come tomorrow."

I was standing in front of the bathroom counter, James standing next to me. He had set out several types of pills, my straight razor, as well as the hand gun I kept in the cabinet. I looked at him through the mirror and he smiled sweetly. "Come with me, Master. Just let the world fade away like you want."

I reached for the water and splashed my face. He's just a figment of your imagination, like Maria was after...

"I'm here too, my pet. Let James bring you back to me, my pet. I promise you won't be punished. I know it was a mistake. I hurt you too deeply. I forgive you for lashing out at me. Please, Jasper, just listen to James."

I looked up into the mirror and saw James smiling beside me. Reaching for the gun, he stroked the back of my head. "It will only hurt for a moment."

"I know."

Lifting the gun, I emptied the cartridge at the mirror image of James, shattering it into a thousand pieces. I grabbed my phone, dialing the only person who knew how to help me. "Elly, I need you. Help me. Make the voices stop."

"I'm on my way, Buster. Just hold tight and don't do anything stupid."