I felt Yamato tense up when I kissed him, lightly brushing my lips against his. I wasn't exactly sure how to kiss, or if I was even doing this thing right. I was probably making a fool of myself, but I didn't really care at this moment. I wanted to, needed to, kiss Yamato. Something inside me needed this and now that I had done it, I didn't regret it. I felt my foot sliding beneath me, so I shifted. It ended up making me press my lips a little harder upon Yamato lips. I think that's when Yamato's control snapped. I'm simply assuming he was restraining himself because of how he kissed me. One arm went around my waist, while the other went around my shoulders, his hand on the back of my neck, ever so lightly, and it gave me goosebumps.

Yamato pulled me close and I could feel his whole body against mine. He kissed me deeply, nibbling and sucking my lower lip, to which I gasped at. Yamato seemed to take this as an invatation, as his tongue entered my mouth. I was surprised to say the least. Yamato definately knew what he was doing, and it made me feel... jealous I guess. How many other people had kissed these lips? Had held Yamato the same was that I was? It had to be quite a few people, as he was this good. But... then again, I'd never kissed anyone else.

Suddenly, he pulled back, looking down at me while I looked up at him. I could feel my lip. It was swollen a bit from the pressure of the kiss, as this was a new thing to me. It is sad, really, when I think about it. Fifteen and getting my first kiss in a store room from my piano teacher, brother's best friend, and my best friend's brother. None of those things mixed together. At all. Yet, I didn't care. All that mattered was that I was kissing Yamato.

"Hikari..." Yamato spoke, though his voice was raspy, his eyes half closed. "I... I don't... we shouldn't have..."

I shook my head fiercly needing to stop him from saying it. He had better not dare to say we should have kissed. That my first kiss was a mistake, an accident that shouldn't be repeated. I grabbed the notebook and pen and told Yamato those thoughts.

I watched him swollow, his throat seemed to have gone dry. "Your... first kiss?" I nodded my head yes. "You... why?"

I wrote, Why what?

"Why'd you kiss me? Why'd you let me take something you can never get back? Gods, Hikari. I'm not... you should have waited for someone you liked. Someone who could... could be with you. Someone... someone worthy of you!"

I was shocked to say the least. Worthy? He thought he wasn't worthy of me!? He was the only boy who'd even looked at me in a romantic look of any sort. The only guy who had wanted to kiss me, and I was suppose to wait because he wasn't worthy!? I quickly started to right while he paced and mumbled. Don't you dare Yamato! Stop it right there. Who are you to tell me my first kiss wasn't suppose to happen? I've had 15 years to kiss someone, so I didn't have to kiss you. I wanted to kiss you! Is that so hard to believe?

"No...," Yamato mumbled once he had stopped pacing and read what I'd written. "I mean, yes. I mean... you shouldn't want to kiss me. I'm not the kind of guy you want to end up with. You're a great girl Hikari, so why stick yourself with me? I've done things in the past that would make you hate me."

No. Never hate, Yamato. I don't believe in hate, and I also don't believe in looking into the past to find the present or future. So what if you've done bad things in your past, that's over now. This is now, and that was then.

My words seemed to have an effect on Yamato, as he had stopped pacing. "But... Hikari... I don't understand... I just..."

I had been writing while he spoke and held it up for him to read. It was four simple words that made him stumble. Let me show you.

"Wh-what?" His confusion was clear.

Let me show you that I care. Let me prove that I don't care for your past. Is it really so bad that I like you?

"No... it's not. Well, yes..." Yamato sighed, shaking his head as he stopped pacing to lean against the wall. "Hikari, you don't know me. You know nothing about who I am or any of that stuff. How can you be so sure that you'd like me if you got to know me?"

A silence filled the room, the only noise being that of my pen on the paper, writing out my answer. Because I do know you. Or at least some of you. I know that you care, because of the night you tried to help me at your concert for the school. I know you are kind because you are giving me piano lessions, even though you don't have to. From what I've seen you wouldn't betrey your friends for the world and you care a lot for Takeru.

Yamato was quiet as his eyes went over my words. I could only wonder what was going on in that head of his. Their was so much that I didn't know about him, true, but I did know some things, and in time I could learn the rest. Besides, you don't normally start off knowing everything about the person you like, right? "Hikari... you have no idea how much I want to be with you. Want us, but do you honestly think that we could last? I mean, you've never even had a boyfriend, and I'm not exactly someone you'd want to date your first time around and gods know I don't deserve you. But why me? Why not Takeru or Daisuke?"

Deserve or not, I want to be with you, Yamato! Not Daisuke and not Takeru. Both are like brothers to me. Besides, you said you wanted to be with me and I want to be with you. I'm still not seeing the problem.

Yamato shoved off the wall and walked over to me. "Hikari... I do want us, but... I don't know why. And I'm afraid of hurting you."

So don't.

"If only it were that easy," Yamato sighed again, then brought his eyes to meet mine. I wasn't going to back down. I think Yamato got that because he said, "Every bit of me is screaming to run away from you, to pretend that this didn't happen, that it meant nothing. But that would be a lie, because it did happen and it did mean something. And... a part of me wants to grab you right now and kiss you until your lips are black and blue and you can't breathe."

I felt a smile come to my lips. He did feel something, he wanted me just as much as I wanted him, possible more. I couldn't tell for sure. All I know is that it made me happy to think that someone wanted me and that I wanted them in return. This was completely new to me, but I could figure out how this emotion worked, after all, love was natural, right? Right. So... can we at least try "us."

He was hesitant, I could tell, but Yamato finally let a small smile grace his lips. "Yeah, we can try. But don't say I didn't warn you when you get hurt."

I won't. I wrote, but I saw the uncertainty in Yamato's eyes. He wasn't sure he could actually make it without hurting me. It made me wonder just how many hearts he had broken and why. Was he not faithful? Did he do something they didn't like? Their were so many possiblities that I couldn't even begin to name them.

Yamato pulled me into a hug, which surprised me, because I figured he would kiss me again, seeing as that was probably what he was used to. Yamato must have sense my confusion, because he said, "I'll take it slow, for you Hikari."

I smiled at that, but that smile turned into a frown, one that Yamato didn't see because my forehead was resting against his chest while his chin rested on the top of my head, his arms around me gently. I frowned because I could only wonder two things. How long till Yamato couldn't take it slow? How long till he left me because I wasn't enough?