First things first, I wrote a one shot: What in the Ward?! Check it out. Tell me you hate it whatever.
I am posting this entire story on Livejournal now {jezzeria88 find me}. The only difference from FF is there'll be cool picture header things. Read it wherever you feel comfortable. Oh and just remember I do post things on LJ about how the progress of this story is going, so if you're ever wondering go take a look!
Hmm little did I know you would all be so upset that Bella thinks this way. So two things:
No I cannot give Bella a break. If this were a fluffy story well…than I wouldn't be writing it most likely. But there is a story of love and trust here, and while it seems the odds are always against these two I do promise a hea. I think I've said this before, so endure darlings, endure!
Second, I'm sorry you are all so upset about Bella's crazy idea about Edward, but I must remind you that we still really don't even know the half of her past.
However I do appreciate all of your comments, concerns, and helpful feedback!
Also I plan on this story being at least 30 chapters, when this is posted we will be at 9...that's still 21 chapters at least, and you honestly can't expect it all to just be fluff and happiness!
Oh and I will reiterate, Bella's life sucks. Like big sucks. And no I have not lived this life. But I have come across a lot of people with shitty life's so somehow this is just my compilations and own twists. I cry for Bella, true story, ask my boyfriend. Because as sick and fucked as it is, horrible things like this happen to everyday "bellas" all the time.
{sorry about the ridiculously long A/N}
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EPOV
The next month passed in a blur. Bella and I were in and out due to our jobs, but we constantly found time to spend together as we discussed our days. Bella continued to share with me her works, and I showed her plans for some future buildings. She had asked me if she could possibly document the building of one of my upcoming projects for her portfolio and I happily agreed. Anything to spend just a little bit more time with her.
She started to show slightly, and I was loving the tiny bump that had formed between her hips. Every chance I got I was touching it, or talking to our child. I had never understood the meaning of being on cloud nine until now.
I noticed after our talk that Bella had been acting strange, and I wondered if it she was scared about being so open with me. But no matter how weird she was during the day, and how much I felt her trying to distance herself from me, at night she clung to me for dear life.
Slowly she opened up more and more to me, and I loved seeing every smile form on her face. She would bring me lunches at work, and always somehow ended up making me laugh. Every time I heard her voice my head would spin. I was falling fast and hard and it was out of my control.
So quickly she had become my everything, and somehow I didn't see it coming. Didn't see the hurt in her own eyes. I didn't see anything. I was blinded by my own emotions.
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BPOV
Thoughts raced through my head at a million miles a second after finding what Edward had been keeping from me. I hoped that he would admit he had looked those things up, I wished he would tell me what he was trying to achieve, but he hadn't.
I desperately wanted to believe him. I wanted to crawl into his arms and stay forever, but I had fallen for this trap before.
A few years ago I had run away and succeeded as well. I was happy; that was when I first found my photography. It wasn't long before I was making a name for myself, but I was so young and so fucking stupid.
Greg had come into my life like a whirlwind. He promised me the world, he praised my pictures. He told me he wanted to keep me safe, but I was so scared I kept everything clammed up inside of me. We saw each other for months, and every day I found myself falling more and more for him.
He opened doors for me; he kissed my forehead and brushed the hair out of my face. The stupid little stuff that makes you feel like the most important thing in the world. Somehow he finally got me to tell him my life story. He was angry, and wanted to protect me and I was thrilled. I thought if Chris tried to come back into my life at least Greg would be there. He would do everything to keep me safe.
Greg even proposed to me. Took me to the most expensive place in town, took me for a walk by the river and it just happened to be a full moon. Everything was gorgeous and perfect. He even cried when he got down on his knee and told me he wanted me to be his everything. "You are my life now," he had told me, and tears had gushed from my eyes. Finally I had found my happy ending.
How was I supposed to know that that night I would be "abducted" by Chris, only to watch as he praised Greg. He told me he never loved me. I had never been anything to him but a damn job. It took nearly to build that trust and that relationship and only a matter of two seconds to shatter my life worse than it had ever been.
They had proceeded to rape me, and I felt every last shred of hope and dignity leave my soul then. I was a nothing and a nobody, destined to be miserable for the rest of my life. It was at that moment I decided to just succumb to Chris. I took his drugs, I cooked his meals, I fucked his friends. I told myself I did it because I loved him. Because this was the closest I would ever get to my happily ever after. I'm fairly sure I would still be there, or dead, if he hadn't pushed me down those stairs. If he hadn't killed the only thing that would be my happiness; my first child.
I ran again, and I only looked back to make sure nobody was following me. So now here was Edward, he knew nothing of my life, but he was researching my life for some reason. Why? To find out where to hit me where it hurt the most? I had told him my deepest hurt and now it would come back to haunt me.
I wanted to hate Edward, I wanted to run and tell him I could never believe his lies. I wanted to tell him that no money was worth it and Chris would end up killing him just like he had killed Greg. Because none of the men sent to get me back mattered, they were only relevant until I was in Chris's possession again.
The more I tried to distrust Edward the more I trusted him, and it confused the hell out of me. His eyes softened when he saw me, he grew protective over me when people were too close. It seemed as though when I became panicked that Chris was around, Edward too was searching for a face he would not be able to recognize anyway.
I also couldn't ignore the overwhelming safety I felt once in his arms. One arm would wrap protectively around me while the other would rest on my stomach. I felt as if Edward were silently telling me he was going to protect me and our child, and I clung to that at night. It helped me sleep, and god knows my body needed it.
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It was nearly a month and a half since I had been staying with Edward, and I was nearly five months pregnant, already. Thankfully the sickness had ended, but was now replaced with the overwhelming urge to consume everything in my sight.
I was in the middle of stuffing a cracker into my mouth when Edward walked in. I couldn't help the smile that came across my face as he immediately walked up to me placing his hand on my stomach as he kissed my forehead.
"How're my two favorite people?" he asked, and my only response was another smile full of crumbs as I continued to munch away.
"So I've been thinking," he began, and I stopped, wondering if he was going to tell me to go home. The thought made my stomach churn more than the thought that Edward was working for Chris. I could still imagine the last night I had been there, and I felt the panic rise in me as I waited, completely still, for Edward to finish his sentence.
"You're here all the time, maybe you should just move in," he asked, his face showing the uncertainty of it all. Did he think he was going to scare me off by asking this? I thought about living with Edward, our stuff co-mingling. It did frighten me, but not to the extent of running. But if he asks you to marry him, my conscience thought, run like hell!
I swallowed the remaining cracker in my mouth, and suddenly my mouth felt like the Sahara desert in the middle of August. I licked my lips, as Edward stared anxiously at me awaiting my answer.
"Ok," I managed as Edwards eyes shot up in surprise.
"Really? Okay Bella, I promise I'll give you space if you need it. I'll do anything to make this work, I just can't stand to think of you ever having to go back there again," he seemed to say without taking a breath.
"I'll go over there now and see what else I need. Most of the stuff is rented anyway," I said as I headed towards Edward's…no….our room to put on some shoes.
"Great, just let me change really quick and we'll go!" Edward replied giddily and I froze.
"Actually…is it alright if I go alone? I have my phone on me; I'll call you if anything goes wrong…" I said, just needing a little time alone to process this. Edward's face looked concerned but he said that would be fine before he headed into the shower.
I climbed into the car and began to think of life with Edward. The more I thought about being able to see him every day for sure, being able to bring him his lunches, and our random afternoon walks in the park I couldn't help but feel excited to be moving in. If Edward was working for Chris, then who cares? Even if this was fake happiness, for now I would take it.
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I walked into my apartment, a smile still on my face from my thoughts of Edward and I instantly froze, sensing someone was in the room with me.
"Isabella," a voice snarled from the corner and my stomach immediately dropped. Oh god, this had to be my imagination playing a trick on me, this couldn't be real right now.
"Do you know how long I've been waiting for you?" the voice snarled again and I could hear Chris moving closer to me and I feared what was going to happen.
"You know how much I like waiting, don't you?" He demanded, but my eyes were trained on the floor, I knew better then to speak right now, "DON'T YOU?!" he screamed, and I nodded my head vigorously as he grabbed me by the back of my hair yanking my face close to his.
"You smell like shit. You've been shacking up with somebody haven't you? You little slut. You're getting fat too," he stated before shoving me roughly to the ground. My hands instinctively wrapped around my stomach as Chris stared wide eyed at me, stalking forward making me cringe.
"So you really are a slut. Pregnant again? Your first little mishap didn't teach you? Trash like you doesn't procreate, Isabella." I swallowed thickly, as Chris's boot was on my chest now pinning me to the floor.
"Who's the little bastard's father?" he asked, and I felt myself grow bold now. Well if we were being honest, might as well let him know I was on to his little game of cat and mouse.
"You should know," I snarled, all of my hatred seething from my pores, "You hired him. Just like Greg."
His laugh sent chills down my spine as he inched his face closer to me.
"Really? First time you run, yes I hire someone to bring your stupid ass back. Second time? Well that's a whole different story. I have to come take care of you myself. Is this what you wanted Isabella? For me to have to come hunt you down like an animal? Do you want to die like Angela?" He demanded, his sour breath clouding all of my senses as I felt the familiar constriction in my chest at the mention of my sister.
I felt the tears well in my eyes, Edward wasn't a bad guy. He was my good guy, like I had suspected. He was my savior, and I had made him stay home. I had been afraid of him, and now he was probably the only one who could actually help me. I scoffed at myself, oh the irony of it all. Couldn't I ever get it right?
There was no chance of me being able to call him now, and I wondered briefly if he would even bother to come look for me. I knew he would, and I felt frightened, almost wishing he wouldn't. Chris would definitely kill him. It was one thing to watch Greg die by Chris's hands, but it would be another to watch an innocent man who truly cared about me die because of my own stupid fate.
"Please," I heard myself beg, "let me call him. Let me call the baby's father and let him at least think I'm leaving him! He'll come looking for me if I don't, you could get caught," my voice threatened to quit then but I pressed on trying to play Chris for all he was worth in his drug induced haze, "We could get caught. I was afraid of my love for you Chris, that's why I ran. But I'm not now, I can't stay away from you." I wanted to burn my tongue from my mouth for even saying it, but I saw the wheels turning in Chris's head as he thought over what I was saying. Lust was filling his eyes as he looked over my body.
"Even with that fat on you, you're still sexy. Always have been. You little sex devil," he said, his hands creeping across my body in an all too rough manner.
"I know baby, I know," I said, trying not to choke on my own words, "that's why I have to make sure that scum doesn't come looking for us." I wanted to cry at having to call Edward scum, but I could tell my advance was working as Chris's hands became more fervent, "Then you can have me all to yourself…however you want."
"Five minutes," he growled ripping my phone from my pocket, "and then I destroy this phone and you're mine again."
I picked up the phone and noticed my hands were shaking, reminding me of the fear I had felt when Chris had first taken me. I tried to calm my sobs as I listened to the phone ring. I prayed Edward wouldn't answer, I wasn't sure I would be able to control my voice and he would know something was wrong. I couldn't hurt Edward any more then I already had to.
He answered on the third ring, and I felt my throat tightening and I briefly considered yelling and begging him to help me. I quickly swallowed that thought down as I began to speak.
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EPOV
My phone rang, and my heart pounded harder as I saw Bella's name pop up on my screen. She had said she would call if something was wrong.
"Bella," I answered unable to contain the control in my voice. It was silent, and all I heard was labored breathing. Please be okay, please be okay, my mind chanted as I repeated her name more frantically this time.
"Edward," she breathed, and I could tell she had been crying.
"Bella, are you okay? I'll come get you, tell me what's going on." I was fully frenzied now, and I couldn't understand why- all she had said was my name.
"Edward, this just isn't going to work. I can't give you what you want."
My mind reeled at her words, "What, Bella? Are you alone? Is someone there? Is someone making you say all this?"
"Yes, Edward, that's why I'm saying. This is over," she continued as if I hadn't said anything, and I realized she had answered my question.
"Is it Chris, is he there?" I demanded, as I felt my blood begin to boil.
"Yes, Edward. I've just been using you. Don't try to find me. I won't be at my apartment."
My heart plummeted and I knew she had hung up on me then. Chris was there; what was he going to do to her? She had told me she wouldn't be at her apartment, where would she be? I dashed to my car regardless, hoping maybe I could catch them before they left. But what would I do? I didn't care, I realized all that mattered was that I had to get Bella.
I raced down the street, and I felt my anger grow as I seemed to get stuck behind every slow driver and at every red light in the entire city. I continually glanced at the clock on the dash as I ground my teeth knowing I was losing time. Time that was allowing Chris to take Bella away from me, somewhere where I might not be able to find her.
"Fuck, COME ON," I growled, nudging my car to go just a little bit faster.
Bella's apartment complex came into view, and I looked up to her door as I pulled into the parking lot, and saw the front door splayed open. Oh god, no, please don't let me be too late. I didn't even pull all the way into the driveway before throwing my car into park and dashed up the stairs.
I looked inside to find everything over turned but no signs of life. I looked in every nook and cranny of the apartment and found no trace of anything. I saw the broken cell phone on the kitchen floor, and I sank to my knees as I noted the fresh blood stains besides the fragments. My heart shattered as my head fell into my hands and open sobs wracked my body. Bella was gone and I didn't know if I would ever be able to find her or my child again.
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I cry for Edward, he has no idea what's going on. I cry for Bella because she is scared shitless right now.
The next chapter will be Bella's POV of her time with Chris, obviously I didn't kill her, still 21 chapters to go remember!?…possibly a long chapter.
The chapter after that will be Edwards POV and how he tries to handle, deal and cope with this.
The more reviews I get, the faster I'll update. Yes I'm playing that game, sorry guys!
