Kazuma walked quietly toward his small gym, where he could hear the SMACK of a bag taking an undeserved beating. He could see the timbers of the dojo tremble at the strength of the blows assailing it. He had very few students who could actually cause that. He didn't know whether to be proud of his erstwhile son, or worried for his endangered building. Still, he knew how satisfying it was to take your aggression out on something inanimate. He had done it himself many times, especially at Kyou's age. He looked down at the sandwiches he had made and smiled, indulging in a little bit of errant nostalgia. How many times had he performed this same ritual for his angry son? Kyou had come home so often, angry and depressed. He had been picked on by kids at school, or Yuki had teased him, or Kagura had smothered him... or in the worst case, Akito had had his fun with the boy. Kazuma frowned. Akito had put him through so much this time. If it hadn't been for Yuki and Tohru, things could have ended up badly. He hoped that Kyou didn't blame him or think that the man had abandoned him. However, Kyou was always trying to separate himself from anyone he cared about. Too afraid to have to say goodbye he supposed, or afraid that the secret of the cat would come out and he would be despised again. Of course, if Kyou were mad at him, he wouldn't have asked to come here. So it must be something that had happened at home. Had Akito hurt him or threatened him? Akito could easily find him here. He entered the dojo, and found that Kyou had stopped his full frontal assault on the bag and was sitting dejectedly against the wall, out of breath, a bottle of water in his hand. "I thought you might be hungry," Kazuma said gently and sat down beside his son. Kyou looked at the sandwiches and contemplated on whether to be emotional and refuse or to be hungry. The latter won out and he took one. He knew Kazuma wouldn't approve of him acting like a moody teenager. Besides he liked these. They were his favorite. It made him feel better just knowing that Kazuma wanted him to feel better.
It seemed no matter how hard he trained or how hard he exhausted himself, when he was alone with his own thoughts, he just kept going back to the feel of Yuki's lips as they moved across his own. If being around Tohru and Shigure and his… the people he was around was like warm water, Yuki's kiss burned and it hurt. He could still feel it on his lips, no matter how many times he washed his face. It tingled there like a pernicious bug bite. He couldn't wipe it away.
"Kyou," Kazuma started, "please… I can't help if I don't know what's wrong."
"I don't think I want to go back."
"That's a little harsh, don't you think? Did you fight with Yuki again?"
"Hah. Hardly...." Kyou's lips shut tight as he realized that he was saying too much.
"I see." Kazuma said quietly and wondered whether he should let Kyou organize his thoughts and conclusions or if he needed a push. Kyou, however was ahead of him.
"I think..." he choked. "Remember when I told you that being with Tohru... well, with them all, that it hurt, that it felt like swimming in warm water?"
"Of course," He could hardly forget. It was the first sign of Kyou being comfortable with anything close to affection. Of course you could hardly call it comfortable. He fought it like a cat in the shower. It scared him. With the recent happenings, he had wondered if Kyou would grow closer to the three.
"I think I know what it is."
Kazuma stayed still. Kyou was figuring it all out by himself. Kazuma nodded knowingly. It had taken so long, but Kyou had come around a bit. The thing with Kyou is that you had to gently guide him to come to the right answer by himself. If you explained anything to him directly, he would simply balk and refuse to listen. It appeared his Kyou was finally growing up.
"Kyou," whatever it is, you're strong enough to face it.
"No... not this. I'm not. I'm... I'm too weak. I don't think... I don't think I'll be able to beat Yuki, Shishou. I can't."
Kazuma felt a pang as he could hear the despair in the boy's voice.
"You don't have to hate him to fight him, Kyou."
Kyou hit the wall with his fist.
"You don't understand! I don't want to leave! This is all I know. I don't want to be locked up, but I don't want to fight that stupid rat. But I don't want to... to..."
Kyou dropped his hand, emotionally spent for the moment.
"Kyou. When you first moved in with Shigure, you thought you couldn't deal with it. Look how far you've come. I've seen you smile more with Tohru and Yuki than I've seen your whole life."
"It's all gonna end. I... didn't want to have to care."
"Kyou," Kazuma commanded. "You're going somewhere you mustn't. You don't know what will happen. No matter what happens come graduation, I will not let you be caged. I promise you."
Kyou thought maybe it was better being locked up. At least it was a certainty if he allowed it. Everything else was new ground. He was elated when it came to learning a new pattern or a new kick. But when it came to learning a new feeling, or a new circumstance. He was terrified, as much as he tried to mask it with anger, belligerence, hatred.
Then again, he had been doing that now for 4 years now hadn't he? He hadn't been rejected. The family used to doggedly ignore him. Now, he could almost say that he fit in.
Had it been worth it though?
Suddenly, he laughed softly. Kazuma smiled questioningly.
"Shishou, would you teach me my next pattern? You said you would."
Kazuma nodded quietly. "Of course." Whatever malaise had cloaked Kyou's demeanor had lifted a bit.
Kyou grabbed a staff and did a few spins and counters for practice. He gritted his teeth. He was scared out of his mind, but he would face it. Shishou was right. No matter how it turned out, these feelings, however strange, were worth it. He would stay here the weekend. He would return to school, and then he would go home.
Yuki picked at his food and Tohru fretted.
"Is everything alright, Sohma-kun? Is the food bad?"
Yuki looked up and smiled beautifully, making the girl's heart stop. However her prince's face was pinched with inner pain.
"The food is wonderful as usual, Honda-san. Thank you."
"You miss him, don't you?"
Yuki looked up, alarmed. "What?"
"Well... that is, I mean I..." She fretted and twiddled her fingers until Yuki got up and put his hands on her small warm ones. She immediately stopped.
"I saw you in the garden, with Kyou."
He looked down at her and contemplated kissing her. That would end it wouldn't it? He would win yet again, leaving Kyou behind as usual. A year ago, that's what he would have wanted. He had wanted Tohru to be his at first. But that wasn't what he wanted anymore. His childish crush was long gone. What was left was an aching need to be with the one he used to hate so much. But was he ready to make the next step? Was he ready to share that, even with their beloved friend. Their little sister.
"That was..." he stammered.
"It's all right, Sohma-kun. I know what it was. I'm so happy for you."
Yuki scrutinized her lovely brown eyes, and saw nothing but shining happiness. Tohru wasn't exactly good at hiding her emotions. If she was hurt, he would see it. Yet, she seemed for all the world like this was what she wanted. It seemed that she had grown up as well.
"Tohru, I'm not sure Kyou will come back. What I did... he..."
"He's afraid."
Yuki looked at her. She was having one of her deep moments, as she looked directly at him, but seemed not to see him. She looked down at her hands and wrung them.
"He's afraid to be hurt. He has spent his whole life fighting you and hating you. It must have caused you so much pain."
Yuki swallowed the lump in his throat. She smiled at him then, with tears in her eyes.
"But he'll be back. I know it." She said, placing her hands on his now. He searched her eyes. She seemed so sure. "So you need to eat, so that you can keep your strength up. Kyou will be annoyed if he can't fight you because you're sick."
Yuki smiled. He hoped she was right.
"You're right. I can't let that stupid cat actually think he can beat me ne?"
She nodded, squeaking a happy affirmative "Hm," before going back to her cooking. Shigure would be down soon enough to search for food.
Momiji stood outside Hatori's house, the wind was strong, waving his hair back and forth, almost swirling around him and upward, turning dry leaves and debris in a circle around him. He seemed to be listening intently, but all he could catch was unintelligible whispering. It seemed to travel on the wind, just out of reach. Momiji knew what it was trying to do. It was beckoning him toward the old property, past the cat's house and even further into the older buildings of the sohma property. He hesitated for just a minute, before moving forward. Hatori had gone to the main house and Haru was in detention for going black. No one would miss him for a while.
He watched as the leaves danced in front of him, almost laughing as he walked further into the ancient buildings. He looked at the Cat's home, more a jail cell than a home. It consisted of one room with a few old furnishings stored inside, a sink and a toilet. He shivered briefly, thinking of poor Kyou locked in there, growing old, lonely. Still he moved deeper. They weren't allowed to go here. The houses and buildings were boarded up, gray with rot and neglect. A few shutters slammed in the wind. He came to a place where the brush grew thick and towered above the small blond. The terrain turned hilly and he saw that he would have to climb over a small ridge. He stopped for a moment, wondering if it would be better to wait for Haru. But it would be dark by the time the younger boy arrived home, and the voice seemed to come and go. He felt sure that it might go silent if he didn't follow it now.
Gritting his teeth, he pulled his jacket tighter around himself and began to climb the small hill. It was just enough of a hill to get the boy's heart pounding and his legs struggling to find purchase. The ground was thick with leaves and forest debris.
As he crested the hill, he saw a small brook, running down the small valley below. The rocks along were enticing and he made his way down, climbing onto the large boulders that lined the stream. Almost not thinking about the voice, and yet knowing where to go, he followed the stream, hopping from stone to stone lightly, preferring that to mushing along on the soft ground. He didn't notice as the leaves kicked up around him and followed him, lying still everywhere else.
Soon he heard the whispering again, though it still sounded like loud sighing now. He looked down to see a small pond where the water collected. It was quite large for the area. It was certainly deep enough to swim in, but there wouldn't be very far to go. He gasped, grinning as he saw the old tire swing that hung by the side.
The water was dark and he approached it, his heart pounding a little more now, though he was no longer tired from the climb. He looked at the smooth mirror-like surface, half afraid he would see the face he had seen in the window again, instead of his own reflection. However, only his own image stared at him from the water. A couple of leaves landed in the water, disturbing the surface. Suddenly the ominous presence had lifted and he looked around, a little surprised at where he was, as if coming out of a dream. For an instant, he thought he could hear the babble of children's laughter on the wind. He looked toward the tire swing, which now swung lightly in the wind. Momiji moved toward it. He gave the thick rope a yank and found that the swing was still quite sturdy, though old. The bottom of the tire was filled with water and leaves and dirt. He tipped it sideways, scraping some of the wet muck out with his fingers before climbing into the hole and pushing back till his toes barely touched the ground. The tire swung out over the water and he laughed, leaning back and looking at the sky and the tree above him. The clouds were pink in the setting sun and the swing creaked happily, as if it had been waiting for the bustle of playing children again.
He leaned back, holding the rope as he swung, until the tips of his hair touched the water, startling him. Looking down, he looked down into the water again. He could not see much in the dark dirty water. He could see spiders skipping along the surface, and a few feet below, he could see some plant covered rocks as he passed the edge.
His smile became a frown though as the surrounding forest became silent. He still stared at the water, waiting. For a minute, he thought he saw the face again, staring back at him, bloody and pale in the moving water. He gasped, but it was gone before he could even be afraid. He tried to calm himself. After all, this is why he was here right?
"Please..." he almost whispered. "I hear you. I know you want something from me. Who are you?"
The air was silent and heavy, but even the whispering had stopped now. Momiji couldn't see anything in the water. He still swung back and forth, but his eyes were fixed on the water. He waited for that face to reappear but it didn't.
"Please. I don't know what you want."
Suddenly the rope that seemed so strong snapped and sent the tire swing and the blond plunging into the dark water in the middle of the pond. He panicked, trapped in the middle of the tire upside down and desperately struggled to swim back to the surface, but the rope rapped around his limbs as he struggled. Terrified, he still struck for the surface, kicking the tire away, a bit though it hung doggedly on to his left leg as he tried to kick to the surface. He was very near to panicking now because he could only take gulps of air as the rope pulled him down. It tangled around him and kept him from taking a proper breath above the water. He tried to collect his senses and took a deep breath, letting himself sink as he tried to untangle himself. The rope clung around him and only seemed to recoil around him as he pushed bits away. However it did seem to loosen a bit. Momiji felt something like fingers creep up his legs and he finally cried out and tried to swim, rope and all toward the shore.
The rope suddenly seemed to untangle itself and pull away from him by itself as he made his way toward the bank. He was crying now and almost too tired to swim. Again, he felt something around his waist. His eyes widened, but the sensation was almost instantly gone, though he found that his feet touched the muddy bottom now. His shoes sunk into the mud as he crawled out. He cried as he crawled onto the hard ground. Taking deep gasps of air and trying to stop shaking. He got to his feet and collapsed a little as he realized his ankle had been twisted when he fell.
The whispering grew louder and the feeling of cold wet fingers that weren't quite there ghosted over his ankle from the lake.
He didn't look back. He pushed off and ran, limping, hurting and climbed straight up the hill to the top, then making a beeline back toward the main house, and Hatori's place. He was soaking wet, still shaking and his ankle screamed in pain. But the adrenaline and fright kept him running until he was almost to the Cat's house. He ran toward it gratefully, still crying. As he rounded the corner, he stopped dead.
In front of him stood a boy. The boy he had now seen several times in reflections, but now he stood here, looking solid and quiet and... dead. The boy's eyes were the black of the pond water and he moved toward Momiji slowly. Momiji stood frozen. He had nowhere to go, unless he went back. He stood frozen to the spot. But the boy didn't seem dangerous. The soft trickle of soft laughter danced on the wind, though the boy's face was devoid of emotion. He stepped forward slowly, reaching out a hand. His cold fingers traced Momiji's jawline before his body seemed to dissipated into formless gray and streamed around the blond like snakes of cold water. It seemed to go through him and caress him.
Bring him to me... bring me god
The voice lingered in and around Momiji, almost seeming to whisper through his hair. Momiji was shivering from cold now and his ankle threatened to collapse on him right there. His heart was pounding so hard, it seemed to roar in his ears. But the presence and the voice and the feeling were now gone. Birds began to sing, the quiet calls of the evening.
Then hands like talons grabbed him from behind.
He blacked out.
"Momiji."
"Momiji."
The voice sounded like it was coming through a pillow. However it slowly clarified and Momiji realized that he was being called.
Momiji's eyes opened slowly and he saw Haru lying on the bed beside him. He was running a hand through the blond's locks soothingly. The hand stopped, though Momiji wished it wouldn't.
"Hatori, he's awake."
Hatori entered the room, a thermometer in his hand. Momiji could see lines of worry around the corners of his eyes, but otherwise, he wore his same stern expression. Any other time, Momiji would tease him about it. However right now he felt drained.
"What happened?" he asked weakly.
"You fainted," Haru replied, the worry clear in his eyes. "Hatori picked me up after detention. After we couldn't find you at the house, we went looking. I saw you standing by the cat's house. When I saw that you were covered in dirt and soaked, I ran to find out what happened. But when I grabbed you, you passed out. You were so pale. We brought you back here.
"Momiji, were you exploring the old property?" Hatori asked sternly.
Momiji nodded ashamedly. Nothing said they couldn't go back there. It's just that no one did.
Hatori let it go though, simply holding the thermometer at Momiji's mouth until he opened up. In the meantime, Hatori pulled the blankets up and began gently removing Momiji's wet socks. Momiji winced as the man examined his ankle, moving it slightly and feeling up and down the abused leg. He poked and prodded a little more.
"It's not broken, but you'll probably need crutches for a couple of days. You twisted it hard."
"The thermometer beeped and Haru took it out, handing it to Hatori."
"You have fever too. We need to get you out of the rest of those wet clothes and into a bath. Haru, help him. I have to go get some supplies to wrap that ankle. You need some painkillers as well. You're obviously not going to school tomorrow."
Momiji wasn't in a mood to fight. His body felt like ice. He sat up and let Haru pull his shorts off, wincing a little as the pants came down over his ankle. His shirt had already been removed. Haru helped him limp to the bathroom and set him on the toilet while he filled the tub.
"Make it really hot." Momiji half requested, half begged. Haru nodded. He let the water run as he looked into Momiji's eyes with concern. "What happened to you?"
Momiji teared up a little. "I saw him again. In the water.. and after that..."
"The face you saw in the window that night?"
Momiji nodded.
"He... he wanted me there, Haru. I've been hearing voices."
Haru nodded, but put a hand on Momiji's leg, not even balking at the fact that the blond was sitting completely naked in front of him. He was far too concerned to even go black.
"Let's get you warmed up and then we'll talk about it, all right?"
Momiji nodded and let the boy help him into the tub. Haru let him wash his own hair and body, but he washed the boy's back for him. Momiji was already feeling warmer and the gentle steady feel of Haru's hands as it moved the rag in circles over his back was threatening to put him to sleep. Once he had been rinsed off, Haru let him stand, wrapping him in the fluffiest towel he could find. This time, he simply lifted the boy out of the tub and carried him back to bed. He rubbed at Momiji's arms and legs roughly with the towel, taking care to avoid the boy's ankle, which was now swelling purple.
Haru helped the silent blond into his flannel pajamas and got him back under the covers before crawling in himself. He pulled the smaller boy to him and held him tightly.
"Now... tell me what happened."
That Monday evening, Yuki was in his garden. After school, he and Tohru had walked home alone. Haru and Momiji had been strangely absent. Kyou had stayed after class for some tutoring from one of his teachers. He had not said much to them, but he had been swarmed by classmates most of the day. He had not ignored them though. At Tohru's prodding, he had smiled softly and replied to her in his gruff whisper not to get in trouble during class. At lunch, he was invited to a basketball game so he had gone. He seemed eager to move again after his convalescence. He had not said anything to Yuki, nor looked at him either, but he hadn't shied away from him. When the cousins had finally cornered him, he had answered their questions as best he could.
That was bothering Yuki. On Kyou's mellowest day, he was lashing out in annoyance or anger. Today, he was quiet. Most of his classmates put it down to being tired from recovering, but Yuki watched him closely. Kyou had caught him staring a couple of times, but simply tried to avoid his gaze.
So here Yuki was, trying to weed the poor neglected garden as best he could Summer was coming soon and he wanted to make sure that the strawberry plants at least had room to grow. When a shadow fell across his furrows, he stared for a minute, afraid to look up, just in case it wasn't the person he wanted to see.
However, the figure knelt down and Yuki was relieved to see his red headed cousin's calloused hands as they picked up the dirt, and rolled between strong fingers.
Yuki let the silence settle on them and he continued to pull weeds, before taking his gloves off and placed his own slender fingers on his lap, waiting for Kyou to speak.
"It… it isn't a trick is it?"
Yuki stared at Kyou, stunned. But why wouldn't the cat think that. They were close to graduation and Kyou still hadn't beaten him.
"A trick? You actually think that?"
"Because... if it's a trick, Yuki, I'd rather you kick the..."
Yuki stopped his words with a gentle hand on his chest.
"It's not a trick," Yuki stated simply.
Kyou made a sound deep in his throat and ran his fingers through the dirt for a minute.
"I'm still going to fight you."
Yuki rolled his eyes.
"Kyou, you can fight me every day if you wish. I don't want you to be caged either. I won't hold back. Believe me, it would be a lot easier for me if I still hated you. But I almost lost you. I can't pretend anymore. I… I still think that what you're doing is pointless. But you wouldn't be you if you didn't try. And unfortunately, I've found that I'm rather fond of you, even if you are an idiot. I want… things, from you Kyou that I haven't wanted from anyone else… not even Tohru. Whatever it is, whatever you want to call it, it is not a trick."
Yuki looked up. Kyou was shaking. His hands were balled into tight fists. Yuki could feel the frustration and power radiating off of him.
"It doesn't matter what I do does it? I lose to you no matter what."
Yuki contemplated what Kyou was saying. It sounded like him. He was acquiescing. Yuki had no idea if it meant Kyou felt the same. But he wanted what he wanted. He put a hand on Kyou's shoulder.
"Do you really consider it losing?"
Kyou took a deep breath and looked up.
"I... I don't hate you, Yuki."
Yuki nodded. That would be enough for him for now. As pathetic as he was at expressing his feelings, Kyou was even worse.
"I'm glad."
"Fuck it." He cracked his knuckles. "I'm going to beat you anyway."
Yuki smiled. "I thought you would say that, you stupid cat."
Kyou looked up, a small smile painting the corners of his mouth, though there was a pain and sadness in his eyes. The cat had lost again, in a way. He was submitting to Yuki in the most intimate way possible. Yuki took care with that information. He would claim his prize cautiously, as if it might vanish right under his eyes. Yuki hesitantly inched forward, running his fingers through Kyou's mussed hair, pulling his head up so he could access that shaky smile with his lips. Their kiss was quiet and tentative. Kyou's parted slightly as he allowed it. Yuki pulled away, smiling.
"Was that so bad?"
Kyou blushed and glared at him. "Shut up, rat!"
Not quite done here. The lemon in this story can be found at my site. thanks for your understanding.