So after posting my second chapter last night I had a thought…how about I write a Rose chapter? I think you all deserve it.

**Started writing this before my hiatus, but now am back! Missed you all, and I realized just how much I need all of you. Really, best readers ever. I was surprised and touched by everyone who has sent their love and support during this hard time in my life**

The name of the chapter "Beauty in the Breakdown" is a song title by Imogen Heap. If you haven't heard it, you should definitely go listen to it...like right now, then come back and read! lol.

Uhhh here's a long thanks like the poppies do, just wanna fit in: Thanks Labbit, don't know what I would've done without you staying up late nights with me, and inspiring me that I can still be amazing even without the ass texter. Thanks Mina J for inspiring me, pushing me, giving me that pep talk that made me get my ass out of bed that first week. Thanks Olevia for shield of panty, Neville wanking, THE BEACH!, and everything else you've done for me. Love you hardcore...like hardcore porn, but harder, lol. And last but most definitely not least {because in all reality I can't thank every single person who's helped me, you know who you are} thanks Cam. I know I was probably a stick in the mud when I came to visit, but next visit will be more fun, and I can't wait for NM when we all meet in fresno bb!!

Disclaimer-SM owns the characters, I'm just the evil one that messes with them.

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RPOV

My eyes stayed trained on the ceiling as nurses and doctors moved around me, checking my vitals. I was being held overnight, after having to be subdued so that I could be dragged away from Emmetts body.

Part of me told me I should be angry with Bella. If it wasn't for her our lives would still be normal. But I couldn't blame her. It was my idea to watch over Bella. I knew the risks we were taking. Alice happily would've done it with Jasper, and then she would be laying here. I shook my head at the sick thought.

Tears began to sting my eyes, and I tried to inhale to shake off the feeling. Yet instead of the satisfaction feeling of air there was only a hollow empty feeling as my chest only tightened.

Emmett was really gone. My whole life, my whole world was taken from me in a matter of moments. I heard myself gasping for breath as images of my life with Emmett flashed before my eyes.

Never again would I see his smile. Never again would he hold me close and whisper how much he loved me. Never again would we argue. I would never have to wash another dirty pair of socks.

All the things that seemed unimportant I suddenly wished I could grasp every detail of them. Anything that had bothered me about him before, I longed for now.

What I wouldn't give to have Emmett come home from the gym, sweaty and smelling of death and fish and have him embrace me laughing as I would gag trying to get away.

My breaths came in shorter and shorter gasps, as nurses rushed to sedate me once again.

"Another anxiety attack," I heard one say as I began to slip into unconsciousness. I was reaching into the emptiness for any sign of Emmett, watching as his smile slowly faded from my sight.

"No…Em…don't…go…please," I struggled, as I finally succumbed to the darkness surrounding me.

My sleep was restless; nightmares consuming my thoughts, yet I couldn't wake up.

I watched happy memories of Emmett and I, and then watched him fall slowly, his eyes pleading with me to help. When I tried to run to him, he only grew further away, his arms outstretched; he was reaching for me.

After what felt like an eternity of these torturous dreams, I felt myself being pulled into reality. The instant I was, I wished for those horrid dreams. The murmurs of people around me reminded me that this was not a dream. I would forever have to wake up to this emptiness of being surrounded by anyone but the one my heart truly ached for.

"I think she's waking up," I heard Alice whisper beside me, and I felt my throat constrict at the familiarity.

"Please tell me it was all a dream…Emmetts okay right?" I squeaked out, my throat sticking from the lack of moisture.

I looked into Alice's face, who glanced to Esme for support. It felt as if my heart stopped in my chest as I looked away from them, a lump returning to my throat. Despite the dryness the rest of my body seemed to be experiencing, it didn't stop the torrent of large tears that fell effortlessly from my eyes.

"How?" I asked.

"You don't remember?" Esme said in a concerned manner as she placed her hand on my own.

"How do I live without him?" I continued as if she hadn't spoken at all.

I looked at them both, my eyes pleading for some sort of resolution. Anything that might take this pain away.

Esme tightened her grip on my hand as she shook her head, as tears of her own fell from her eyes.

"I don't know," she whispered, her eyes glazing over seeing what I could only imagine: the birth of her child, his first steps, first laugh, first words. My heart went out to her as I squeezed her hand back in response. She looked down at me, forcing herself from her memories as she tried to smile at me.

"I don't know," she repeated, her voice wavering, "but we'll learn together."

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I seemed to have lost all sense of time as I waited, drifting in and out of a drugged consciousness, for what was to come next. For all I knew I had been here for months now, years even.

Everything seemed the same. As much as the day hurt, the sun would set, and I would awaken to the sun once again. I would curse the daylight. How dare the sun show it's face in the wake of such a tragedy, such a heart wrenching experience.

I loathed the nurses who laughed in the hallways. Who were they to experience laughter, happiness, and joy when everything I had found true joy in was striped from me without consent.

In the darkness I prayed to be taken. I wanted to join Emmett in eternal darkness, at least there I could be happy. At least in my dreams I could hear his voice, see his face, and sometimes it was even as if I could smell him.

Alice came to see me often. I didn't enjoy her company, but I didn't want her to leave either.

"Bella had her baby," she said to me, as I felt another pang of hurt and jealousy.

How dare Bella have her child and be happy when my whole world was turned upside down.

"When?" I asked, even though I knew Alice could tell by my tone I could care less.

"A week ago, he's a beautiful baby boy," she began but I cut her off.

"Alice, I really don't care about that little bastard."

She breathed softly beside me, not thrown at all by my outburst.

"She's in a coma. She has been since the baby was born…Carlisle says there's no way to say if she'll make it out or not," Alice said, and although I knew I shouldn't, I felt relief wash over me.

Good. That bitch couldn't have everything. Couldn't have her happy ending because my Emmett had willingly given his life for her to live.

Alice waited, probably hoping I would say something, but instead I stared at the same stupid crack in the wall that I had grown so accustomed to.

"They say they want to release you this afternoon," she said, and I felt my chest tighten.

Was I ready to go home? To go somewhere Emmett and I had shared memories together?

"Don't worry, they're going to give us things to sedate you if you need it. But besides your anxiety attacks, they have no reason to hold you." Alice informed me.

"It doesn't matter to me," I spat, "nothing matters."

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The ride home was excruciatingly long, and I was surprised yet disappointed to find that we stopped somewhere Emmett and I had never been together. I wouldn't even be able to feel his presence around me. I popped another pill as I felt my chest begin to tighten and my breath quicken.

I walked slowly into the house, it smelled as every Cullen home did. Except that something was missing. I leaned against the doorframe as I tried to regain my strength. Of course the smell of Emmett was what was missing.

I heard the sound of a baby cry from another room in the house causing me to cringe again.

I hated them all, I began to move down the hallway, searching for the room that was to be mine now when a disheveled Edward emerged from a room.

"Oh Rose, I didn't think you'd be home so soon," he said, smiling weakly at me. I could see the anguish in his eyes from losing his brother and the prospect of losing the woman he loved as well.

We stood for a long moment, staring awkwardly at one another not sure what to say.

"Well welcome back," he said, hugging me loosely, "sorry but I gotta get the kiddo some food."

I tried to smile at him as he hurried down the hall, the crying growing louder. I peeked into the room Edward has just come from to see a crib.

I hated what lived in that crib, yet I couldn't stop myself from moving towards the baby. I thought briefly about harming it, but shook that thought from my mind. Even in my pain I couldn't bring myself to hurt a child.

Looking over the railing I saw a cherub face scrunched up in distaste, his gums fully exposed as he wailed for his food, and possibly his missing mother.

"There, there," I said softly as I picked him up. He quieted as I held him close, the smell of a newborn permeating my senses. His eyes were still clouded as he looked up at me, and I felt my heart stop once again.

He was perfect.

"Emmett, I see you've met your auntie Rose," Edward said, as he handed me the bottle.

"Emmett?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"It was Bella's idea. She wanted to name him after the man that allowed him to live." He smiled into the distance as he spoke, "Said she wanted our son to be just as brave as his amazing uncle."

A lump formed in my throat as I looked at this precious gift from new eyes. I would heal from this. Emmett would be with me, but in a different way.

"It's okay," I cooed at baby Emmett, as he suckled eagerly at his bottle, "Auntie Rose will take care of you."

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Emotional enough for you? Should there have been more? Sorry I'm so out of practice! Tried to display as much of my own loss through what I can only imagine is Rose's. Only a few chapters left now!

EPOV next chapter.

Reviews make me smile, and usually want to write more.