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A Crude Joke
by Adelie King

Chapter Two: Frasier's Plan of Attack

Frasier had ordered a Clone- A- Willy Kit from the adult shop anyway and got it within a week at her house. She sort of borrowed the key to O'Neill's house from Sam without her knowledge so she could let herself inside.

Later that evening, she put on a black cat suit and headed over to the Colonel's house. She had a tranquilizer and a Viagra Syringe packed with the molding kit in a bag.

When O'Neill finally went to bed, she let herself in and snuck into his room. He was asleep so she gave him a tranquilizer to make sure he remained asleep. Then she gave him the shot of Viagra to give him an erection. Within a half hour he was fully erect and he was dead to the world asleep.

Frasier carefully maneuvered his sweats and boxers down freeing his erection. She followed the directions of the box, took the mold and removed it when it was finished. I hope this works. She thought as she went in the bathroom getting a soapy wash cloth.

Frasier started cleaning his privates off. As she wiped him down he moaned, "Oh Carter…" Her hand jerked back. So much for pulling his pants back up. Janet thought anxiously packed everything and crept out of his house as if she had never been there.

Except she left his boxers and blanket down because she couldn't risk him waking catching her there. Janet figured he'd think he just fell asleep relieving himself something. She so wished she could tell Carter he moaned her name while she was there.

Janet got home with the mold and poured the liquid rubber into it. The directions instructed it had to set a few hours so she decided to just go to bed and check it in the morning.

The next morning after she took Cassie to school, Frasier pulled the mold out of the can and examined it. WOW! That's Amazing! She marveled at the fantastic detail the mold made and she just about fell down laughing, "Boy Sam's going to kill me for this joke at her party…"

Yeah…but O'Neill was going to do something unspeakable if he found out she used his dick for the mold. And if Sam figured it out there was going to be hell to pay for Janet.

Late morning Jack had woken up with his boxers down and he was intimately exposed. He felt like he was groggy unable to wake up and could barely move. His manhood was also painfully erect, not just normally erect. O'Neill tried to sit up but felt woozy so he just collapsed on his back and crashed out again.

At the base everyone became concerned about Jack because he hadn't arrived yet. He also hadn't phoned in either and it was at the end of the day. So Sam decided to go over and check on him for everyone.

When she got there she knocked on the door and he didn't answer. After ten minutes, she finally let herself in and searched the house. Carter finally found him sprawled out on the bed with his boxers still down and his erection exposed, "OH MY GOD!!" Her eyes grew immediately and she freaked out whirling around embarrassed facing the wall.

Jack abruptly sat up wide awake, "Wha!!" He saw Sam with her back to him and asked, "Carter?" He yawned, "What are you doing here?"

"Uh…Sir?" She pointed her hand behind her back at him politely keeping her back to him. "Your pants are down…"

"OH MY GOD!!" He yanked his boxers and sweat pants up immediately. Jack was now just as beet red as Sam.

"I'm sorry Sir.. I'll go…" She apologized having one hand over her eyes while trying to feel her way out of the bedroom with the other one.

"Carter…it's alright." O'Neill crawled out of bed on to the floor, "My pants are up now."

Sam turned around and explained, "You didn't report in today and everyone was worried about you." She moved back in the room towards him, "So I came over to check on you. I knocked for ten minutes and you didn't answer. So I let myself in and…" Her eyes drew to his nether regions in his sweats and she blushed covering her eyes again.

"Believe me Carter…" He headed into his closet and assured her, "I'm more embarrassed than you are." Jack grabbed a pair of jeans and changed into them hoping to conceal his aroused condition better.

"Yeah but the vision of your…" She couldn't say it, "is going to be burned in my memory for quite a while Sir." Carter informed him in a distressed tone.

O'Neill then joked, "Look at it this way Carter…you can use it for masturbation material."

"I already do that…" She commented quietly to herself rubbing her eyes with her fingers.

He heard her and smirked smugly. Then he wandered out of the closet and responded, "Did you say something Carter…"

"Uh…No!" Carter knew she should get out of there before things got more mortifying than they were, "I'd better just leave before this situation gets any worse than it is…"

Jack slowly and out of agreed, "Good idea…" He still sounded groggy, "As out of it as I am you'll see me touching myself next."

Sam thought that wouldn't be that bad as long as she got to reciprocate. Before she left she asked, "Are you coming to my party this weekend?"

O'Neill reminded her, "I'm throwing it here Sam…What do you think?" Then he paused and asked, "What do you want me to give you?"

You…She thought but then told him, "Something personal from you…" Then she smiled at him and left.

Neither Carter nor O'Neill did know just how personal a gift she was going to get from him.