Truth And Deception
(Chapter Two: Diagnosis)
Elliot arrived at Olivia's apartment around seven o'clock with a pepperoni pizza and a six pack of beer.
"Right on time," Olivia said as she brushed a tear from her cheek and walked toward the apartment door.
"Hey," he said as she opened the door.
"Hey," she said smiling back at him. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest. This was going to be so hard.
Olivia took a deep breath and followed him to the kitchen.
"So, how was that thing with your doctor? Did you get it worked out?"
"Yeah," she smiled and tried to avoid the subject.
She walked to the cabinet pulling out paper plates and napkins and laid them beside the pizza box on the table.
They sat down together and enjoyed their meal, making small talk.
Elliot looked up at her from across the table. He knew her well enough to be able to tell when she was trying to find a way to break something to him. He took a sip from his beer and watched her as she curled the label on hers with her fingernail. She had something on her mind. Something big. He didn't want to make her feel pressured and knew that eventually she would come to him and tell him what was bothering her. Until then, he would wait.
Olivia took a deep breath and walked toward the steps up to the roof.
Here we go, Elliot thought to himself. They'd had many discussions on that roof and talked about so many important things. They were both comfortable here. It was like their own little world. Their escape. And the only place in the city they would be completely free.
Elliot grabbed two more beers from the refrigerator and followed close behind her. Olivia walked past the patio table and chairs and sat down on the ledge to look out over the city.
"Is everything okay?" Elliot asked softly trying to get her to look at him. But she just stared blankly ahead.
"Liv?"
She turned and looked at him over her shoulder and he noticed the glisten of her tears in the moonlight. Still she said nothing, but just stared.
Elliot walked over taking the beer bottle from her hand and sitting it on the ledge. He took her hands in his and pulled her to her feet as he wrapped his arms tightly around her and hugged her.
He held her in his arms for a minute and kissed the top of her forehead as he gently combed his fingers through the waves of dark hair around her face. Olivia looked up at him, once again with tears in her eyes.
"It's okay," he said softly. "Liv, you can talk to me."
She closed her eyes once more as her tears flowed down both cheeks and she buried her face against his chest and just cried.
Elliot had no idea what was going on with her. He wanted to ask, but was afraid she still was not ready to tell him. So he waited. Standing on the roof of the apartment in the dark of the night and held her as she cried.
About ten minutes later Olivia took a deep breath and raised her head. She looked up and her eyes met Elliot's as he just moved his thumb over the side of her tear stained face.
"I'm sorry," she whispered softly.
"It's okay. That is what I am here for."
She took a breath and exhaled deeply then walked over and took a seat in one of the chairs next to the table. Elliot followed her lead and sat down across from her in the other chair.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked trying to mask the concern in his voice.
Olivia pulled her knees up to her chest and stared up at the full moon. Elliot watched her face as her bottom lip began to quiver uncontrollably. After a few more minutes of silence she looked over at him and shook her head.
"I can't, Elliot. I'm sorry."
She stood up and walked back inside. Elliot gave her a few minutes then went back inside to check on her.
Olivia was standing by the window in the living room lit only by the light of the moon. Elliot walked in behind her.
"They wanted to discuss something they had found in by blood work," she began.
Elliot walked over and stood behind her staring at her staring at the night sky. Olivia took a deep breath and turned to look at him in the dark. She was still crying and he wanted nothing more than to make her tears disappear forever.
"Elliot, I'm sick."
He raised his hand to cup the side of her face.
"Sick?"
She slowly nodded her head. The sadness in her eyes was breaking his heart.
"What is it?" He asked.
"It is called….Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia."
"Leukemia?" Elliot tried to hide the fear the swept over him as he heard her say the words. "Liv…"
She just stared at him with her big brown eyes. Elliot wasn't sure what to do or that to say. His head was in panic mode and swimming with thoughts and memories of her, them over the years. Playing like movies across a screen in the back of his mind. His heart wanted him to hold her tight in his arms and never let her go. If he never let go of her, he couldn't lose her.
Elliot felt a tear against his cheek and realized that he had began to shake just a little in the fear of her heavy announcement. He placed his hand against the side of her face once more and stared into her eyes. He softly kissed her forehead and held her against him once more.
They sat and talked for a little while about random things. Elliot was full of questions about her illness and diagnosis, but she had so much to think about right now he just let it go for the moment.
"How do they treat it?" He blurted out in the middle of a conversation about a case.
"There are different ways, I guess. My doctor is suggesting Chemotherapy. I just need a little time for all of this to sink in before I get in to something like that. He wants to try a bone marrow transplant. He thinks that is my best shot at beating this."
"We have the same blood type, Liv. You can use mine."
"It isn't always that simple," she said with a soft smile. "We could have the same blood type and you still not be a match."
"I want to get tested. You know I would do anything…"
"I know."
Elliot slipped his hand into hers and wrapped his arm around her as she yawned.
"You should get some sleep."
"I don't think I could sleep," she said softly looking down at his fingers locked in hers.
Elliot sat up and looked into her eyes. "You should try. It isn't good for you to be over tired. Come on…" he stood up from the sofa holding her hands in his and lead her toward her bedroom. "I will sit with you until you fall asleep."
Olivia smiled. She was exhausted, but so afraid to sleep.
Elliot laid down beside her in the bed. She laid on one pillow facing him as he laid on the other and just stared at her.
"We're gonna fight this, Liv. Together. You are not alone in this." He raised his hand and placed his palm against hers as he locked their fingers together once more. Then he brought her hand to meet his lips.
"Elliot…." she stared wearily into his eyes and began to cry once more. Elliot scooted in against her and pulled her in against him, holding her tight. "I have never been so scared in my life," she said softly.
"Neither have I," he whispered kissing the top of her head.
She closed her eyes and nestled her face against his chest.
"Elliot."
"Yeah, Liv?"
"Stay with me," she breathed against his shirt.
"Always," replied softly. And he held her in his arms all through the night.