Truth And Deception
(Chapter Four: Pandora's Box)
A four days later the results of the DNA match returned. Olivia sat at her desk staring at a set of mug shots on her computer. The man they were searching for, her father was in prison at a place in Jersey for robbery and the murder of four people. Seeing his face on the computer screen made her feel sick. How could this monster possibly be related to her, let alone be her father?
Elliot approached from behind her and placed a hand softly on her shoulder. Olivia jumped and clicked her mouse closing the window on her computer screen to a little tab on the bottom of the screen.
"Is that him?" Elliot asked without thinking.
"Yes," she gasped and he could tell she was about to cry.
"Liv, you know this is nothing to be ashamed or afraid of?"
"It is just private, you know? I would like to keep it that way."
"I'm sorry," he said turning up to walk away. "I didn't mean you, El. I just don't want word about any of this getting out around here."
Elliot nodded his head.
"Does it have a name and address?"
"Yeah, it also has an inmate number."
Elliot stared into her eyes.
"He is in a prison in New Jersey for robbery and the murder of four people. He killed a three hostages and a cop. One of the hostages was a twelve year old kid." She lowered her face into her hands trying not to cry.
She knew he wasn't a good man, but somehow had hoped that every bad thing she had been afraid of her entire life would have been wrong if she only knew the entire truth of him. As a child she had fantasized that he was a handsome wonderful man who if he had only known about her would have loved her more than anything in the world. In her mothers worst moments she had dreamed that some day her father would show up and rescue her from the Hell she called her life. She had hoped that somehow none of the horrible things he mother had told her about the rape were true.
But sitting here now and looking at the picture of the murder in his mug shots made all of her worst thoughts of him a reality. She stared at the man's features. She looked nothing like him. She had always known she looked like her mother, but how could she not have inherited anything from her father? Maybe it was for the better, she thought as she closed out the picture and sat quietly looking down at her desk.
"I can call and get us in to see him if you want. Or just wait a few days and give you some time to think about it. Let all of this register," Elliot leaned in to her and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. He could not even begin to imagine what she was feeling right now.
"No," she said standing to walk to the ladies room. "I just want to get this over with." Olivia headed to the bathroom and leaned over the staring at her reflection in the mirror. The brown eyes, those were the same as her mother's. Her nose and ears and mouth, all the same as her mother. She watched as a tear rolled from her eye and down her cheek falling onto the counter beside her hand. Her hands and long slender fingers she got from her mother.
She turned away from the mirror and leaned against the counter as she stared at the wall ahead of her. She had to find a way to control herself. She could not walk in to see this man and start crying like this. She had to keep control. That control was her only chance of even possibly getting what she needed form him.
Olivia splashed her face with cool water and walked back out to her desk.
"You okay?" Elliot whispered across the desk.
"I'm fine. I just needed a minute to think."
"They can get us in tomorrow afternoon to see him. I wanted to talk to you first. I told her I would call her back."
"Let's do it," she said looking at him with tired eyes.
"Okay."
EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO
That night she sat looking through the inmate's file on Elliot's dining room table as he cooked them both dinner. Every detail of the man and his crimes flooding through her mind like a dam had suddenly broke and released the information she had tried so hard for so long to contain.
"It's almost ready," Elliot said noticing the worried look on her face.
A few minutes later he sat two plates of food down on the table and handed her a glass of wine.
"Thanks," she said forcing a smile as she took a sip from her glass and looked back down at the file in front of her.
"Nope," Elliot said closing the file and sitting it on the kitchen counter. "You need a break. And you need to eat, you haven't hardly eaten anything all day."
"I just don't really get that hungry. And if I eat and I'm not hungry, it makes me sick." She stirred her food around on her plate and took a bite. "This is really good."
Elliot smiled.
After dinner they sat on the couch together and watched a movie. Well, part of a movie. Olivia leaned her head against his shoulder and within twenty minutes had fallen asleep. After the movie ended Elliot shut things down for the night then picked her up and carried her to his bed. He laid her gently down and covered her with the blanket then slipped off her shoes and dropped them in the floor. He turned off the bedside lamp and stood up to head into the living room to sleep on the couch.
"El?"
He heard her voice softly behind him.
"Yeah?"
He turned around to look at her as she scooted over in the bed making room for him. Elliot climbed slowly into the bed beside her and pulled the blankets up around him as well. Olivia smiled and laid back against her pillow.
"I sleep so much better when you are with me."
Elliot smiled back at her and cupped his hand against the side of her cheek. He leaned in to her through the darkness and placed a soft kiss against her forehead. He laid his head back against the pillow and stared into her eyes.
Olivia raised her hand to his and softly kissed his palm. Elliot placed his forehead against hers and their noses brushed gently together. He could feel her eyelashes on his cheek, then she opened her eyes and stared into his once more.
Ten thousand thoughts were crashing through his brain, all of them revolving around her. And right now he wanted nothing more than to finally know what it felt like to kiss her lips. After all of these years and all of those nights of trying not to think about her as he drifted off to sleep.
The next thing he knew their mouths were pressed together and his tongue in her mouth. Elliot was not even sure how it had started or who had made the first move, but it was happening and it was amazing. Her kisses were sweet like the wine from her glass and his hands quickly made their way to her hair.
Things slowly progressed as hands moved over forbidden places and their eyes stared into one another. Elliot could not stop kissing her. And Olivia didn't want him to stop. Before long they laid against each other wearing only underwear and longing to make the next move. Elliot was ready, he had wanted this for so long. But he didn't want to rush this or scare her. She needed him more now than ever and above everything else he had to be there for her as a friend.
He pulled slowly back and looked into her eyes.
"Is something wrong?" Olivia asked softly.
"No, everything is perfect." He looked deep into her and sighed as he pressed his forehead to hers again and kissed her lips. "Olivia, are you sure? Maybe this isn't the best time. I don't want things to get weird between us."
She raised up to kiss him. "So we don't let them get weird. We are the only ones who can control that."
Elliot nodded his head and kissed her. His hands moved slowly up her back and unclasped her bra then he dropped it to the floor. She raise up as he pulled down her panties and dropped them beside the matching bra in the floor. A few seconds later his boxers were on the top of the underwear pile in the floor and he was making love to her.
They moved slowly together as he touched her soft skin and kissed her body. He took his time with her coaxing out several small moans as he moved slowly inside her. Olivia trailed baby kisses down his chest and then back up until their mouths met once more. Elliot caressed his hands over the warm skin of her belly and back as she raised up over him and moved slowly pressing against his chest for leverage.
She tipped her head back and moaned again softly. Everything they did felt so right. Elliot raised up and locked his fingers in hers with his left hand as he drew his right hand up to caress the side of her face and comb through her hair. She was getting close again, he could feel it. And he could tell by the intoxicated look in her eyes.
But this time he was close as well. Elliot laid back in the bed and pulled her body against his. He rolled over where she was on her back looking up at him and he was moving on top of her. Olivia tipped her head back again as Elliot kissed her neck and continued to push her over the edge.
She looked deep into his eyes and he pressed his forehead to hers as he sped up his pace just a little. She moaned and gasped for air.
"Oh God…." she whispered softly as he continued. "Oh, baby….oh, Elliot."
"Yeah?" He gasped back to her staring into her eyes.
"Oh, yeah."
"Right there?"
"Ummm," she moaned softly. "Left…oh, right there." She closed her eyes and began to moan once more.
"Look at me baby," he whispered softly
Olivia opened her eyes to stare in to his as they finished together. Neither of them disappointed.
Elliot held her tight against his body. Olivia shifted until she found a place, her place in his arms. The place against his chest where when his arms closed tight around her body she fit perfectly. Almost as if they were made to fit together. She still trembled a little from her orgasm as she exhaled slowly and closed her heavy eyes. For tonight, nothing else in the world mattered but being in the arms of the man she loved. Before long they were both asleep.
EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO
Olivia leaned against the car in the prison parking lot with one hand on her stomach. She was nervous and felt nauseous as Elliot waited patiently for her to decide if she wanted to proceed.
"You don't have to go in," he said defensively as he softly kissed her lips. "I can go in and talk to him. Explain the situation and cut him a deal if he cooperates."
Olivia smiled. "You can't cut him a deal anyway, Elliot. We don't make the deals."
"No, but it made you smile. Casey can get us a deal. But first you would have to explain it to her."
"I'm just not ready yet."
He placed his hand against the fide of her face and pulled her into his arms. He kissed her gently and hugged her tight. "Then we'll wait until you are," he said looking into her eyes.
Olivia slid her hands to rest on his chest. It felt so good to finally know how it felt to be held in his arms. She leaned forward and placed her forehead against his shoulder. She closed her eyes for a moment. This was about more than her truth. This was also about finally confronting the man who had raped her mother. The man who helped to create her. This was a truth she needed to know.
"I want to do this now," she said softly looking up at Elliot.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I have you here with me. I will be okay."
Elliot combed his fingers through the hair around her face and tucked it behind her ear. "If at any point you decide you want out, just tell me and we will leave."
She smiled. He was so cute and made her feel so safe when he was defensive like this. "Okay," she said softly and they walked inside.
Twenty minutes later Elliot and Olivia sat at a table in a small interrogation room at the prison as they escorted a man in and cuffed him to the table. Olivia closed her eyes for a moment unable to face the man. But found the courage to open them again as she felt Elliot's hand squeeze hers under the table. She turned her head to face Elliot then opened her eyes to stare in to his. She nodded and smiled a weary smile at him as she looked back to them man sitting across from her at the table.
He was an older man, now and didn't look much like the mug shot she had found in the system. His hair was mostly gone on the top and his smoky grey eyes stared back at her. Olivia took a deep breath and shifted her eyes back to the file in front of her as Elliot stepped up and lead the conversation.
"Who the hell are you?" The unpleasant and hygienically challenged man growled from across the table.
It took everything Olivia had inside her not to break down and cry right there.
"Manhattan Special Victims Unit," Elliot said slipping in to cop mode. He dropped Serena's file on the table in front of him and her picture slid out. "We want to talk to you about this woman," Elliot said pointing to the picture.
"I ain't never seen that bitch in my life!"
"Sir, we have evidence that proves otherwise," Olivia spoke up softly.
"What evidence? Must have been planted."
"We have your DNA evidence found on her clothing and semen samples taken from her rape proves you were responsible." Elliot stared him down sure he could force a confession.
Olivia exhaled deeply as she felt tears rising again. She let Elliot run the conversation as she opened the man's file to try to build her courage up once more to talk to him. She had to do this and she had to do it now. She stared down at his face sheet in the file as her eyes scanned the information on the page. She should know it all by now, have it memorized. She and Elliot both had read the pages inside the file so many times the pages were all starting to curl.
She could hear Elliot raise his voice to the man, but she wasn't listening to their words. Her attention was focused solely on the page in front of her.
"You raped her! We know you raped her! What is the point in lying about it now?"
"Yeah, I did her! That doesn't mean that I raped her! She was drunk and hot! We went down into a stairwell. It was dark. There was some kissing and we had sex. But she wanted it! When it was over she freaked out. Started screaming and cried and said I raped her!"
"She had bruises! And a busted lip!"
"I panicked. I was already in trouble. This bitch was saying I raped her and she was screaming it out. I shook her, hard. I was trying to get her quiet. I just wanted her to be quiet and let me think for a minute. I put my hand over her mouth and she bit me. Without even thinking I slapped her, hard in the face. That must have been when I busted her lip. Look, I was in the bar. She was drunk and she left with me willingly. I done a lot of things in my life I ain't proud of. But I didn't rape nobody!"
"Serena Benson had a dau…"
There it was crystal clear right there under Olivia's nose staring her in the face. It had been right there the entire time, yet somehow she and Elliot had both missed it every time.
"Elliot," she cut him off as she tugged on his sleeve. "Let's go."
He turned and looked into her eyes. "Now?"
"Right now," she nodded her head. "We are sorry to bother you sir," she said as she stood up and walked to the gate motioning for the guard to let them out.
In the car all the way back to her apartment Olivia sat quietly looking out the window. They climbed the stairs and went inside. Elliot watched her as the door shut. She dropped the file on the coffee table and walked to her bedroom pulling a chair to the closet to dig through some boxes on the top shelf.
"Do you want to tell me what's going on?"
"It was a lie," she said pulling a large shoebox from the shelf and returning to the living room. "The whole God Damned thing was a lie!"
"I'm not following you, Liv."
She sat the shoebox down on the table and picked the file up again. "I don't know how I missed it before, Elliot. How either of us had missed it all of these times. But there it is in black and white." She pointed to the bottom of the page.
"I still don't understand, Olivia."
"Look at his blood type, Elliot."
"Yeah?"
"There is no way this man could be my father." She tucked her hair behind her ears as she removed the lid from the shoebox to reveal over a hundred letters neatly tucked inside the shoebox still sealed.
"What is this?" Elliot asked.
"A box of letters they found when they cleaned out my mother's house before they sold it. The lawyer gave it to me, he said he thought I might want to hold on to it. They are all addressed to a man named David. No last name and no actual address. But she never talked about anyone named David. I never opened them. Infact I had forgotten about them all together until the ride home. There has to be some clue here as to who David is."
"What if he is your father?"
"Or what if he knows what happened? This is the only other lead I have. A hundred unopened love letters from my mother to someone named David that I have never heard of." She sat down and opened the first letter. She placed her hand against her forehead and exhaled as she began to read the contents of the four pages inside.
Two dozen letters later they still had nothing to go on. Elliot had been reading them as well and all they had really figured out was that David was a married man Serena had an affair with. These letters were mostly love poems and intimate details of their sex life. But so far nothing to even suggest a pregnancy. And they were only a quarter of the way through the box.
Olivia dropped her letter to the table and stared at the box. "So many lies!" She said softly. "Every word that woman ever said to me was a lie!" Her breathing began to quicken and her tears began to fall. "And now more than ever, I desperately need the truth. And there isn't any truth. Just more lies!"
She stood up and paced for a moment then looked back at Elliot still holding a letter in his hand.
"The answer is here Liv, in these letters. We just have to find it."
"No, Elliot! The only thing that is here is a God Damned Pandora's Box full of lies!" Olivia picked the box up from the table and threw is hard against the wall as envelopes and loose papers flew everywhere. She dropped to the floor and broke down crying.
Elliot laid the letter in his hand back down on the table then walked to her and sat beside her in the floor. He pulled her into his arms and held her as she cried. She softly kissed the top of her head and combed his fingers through her hair. He knew how scared she was, because he was scared too. This was all so hard on her and it seemed as if everything was crashing down on her all at once.
A few minutes later she had calmed and sat up beside him. She took a deep breath and exhaled as she rubbed her fingers over her face and looked back at Elliot.
"You are right," he said softly.
She tipped her head to look at him. "What do you mean?"
"Pandora's Box," he said picking up the lid to the shoe box from the floor beside him. "It was full of evil and lies and when she took the lid off it all escaped and surrounded her."
He slid his hand in against hers and locked their fingers together. "But do you know what she found in the bottom of that box after all of the evil had escaped?"
Olivia looked into his eyes. "What?"
"Hope," he said leaning in and kissing her softly.
Olivia took a staggered breath as she wiped the tears from her face.
"I can't give up," she whispered softly.
"No," Elliot replied. "We have to keep looking."
She nodded her head and he kissed her once more. Then he helped her to her feet and they both began to pick up the letters from the apartment floor, now scattered and all out of order.