Title: The Grand Vizier of Oz
Author: Sedri
Rating: PG-13 / T
Summary: "Please come back - you're my daughter, I'd do anything -!" She stopped, hand half-raised and ready to cast a spell. "Anything?" AU, Fiyero/Elphaba. Complete.
Disclaimer: Neither Wicked nor the world of Oz are mine in any way.
Author's Notes: About place names – "Kvon Altur" comes directly from the map of Oz in Maguire's novel and seems meant to be a small town, but I'm taking liberties. "Neverdale" is the town in exactly the same place on the curtain-map of the musical, but appears in a completely different place on the book map. I have no idea why. Other place names are taken from one or both maps.
The names of the months aren't very creative, I'm afraid, though I had fun giving some months thirty-three days. The delivery times of each letter aren't very reliable; I've tried to take both distance, courier, and the free time of the recipient into account, but I suggest you don't bother thinking about it too much.
Chapter Eleven
Letters
9th of First-Moon, Year 22
Mrs Kerra Upland
Upland Manor
Upper Uplands
Darlingest Linny,
Your father and I are so proud of you! The Gillikin Times and Frottica Today have your picture all over the cover again! As I write, your father is arranging to have them framed, and we've cleared the entire north wall of the sitting room so that no one who comes in could possibly miss them. Congratulations, my little Linny! I can't believe you wrote a law!
Everyone in Oz seems to know you now – even your little friend Dulia Whitestone has come by to 'say hello', and I'm sure you remember how her entire family has been ignoring us ever since that embarrassing little incident when you were eight. Of course, we told her that we forgive them and of course we would accept their apology (no matter what the servants tell you, Linny, it was not our fault that her mother was so insulted!), but you might want to watch out for a surprise visit soon, as we told them that our daughter has far too much work to do in the Emerald City to have time to visit them.
I have to say, though, dear, that I don't see what's keeping you so busy that you can't come home to see us. Surely the Wizard can spare his Press Secretary for a few short weeks? We miss you very much.
Love,
Momsie and Popsicle
19th of First-Moon, Year 22
Elphaba Thropp
Grand Vizier
Emerald Palace
Emerald City
Dear Nessa,
It's wonderful to hear from you, and I'm glad that your first days as Madame Governor went so well. I'm sorry I couldn't be there, but I'm sure you and Father enjoyed the celebration just as much without me. The Wizard sends his congratulations, and the red box that should arrive with this letter is from him. (I'm not exactly sure what he gave you, Nessa, but he spent about an hour asking me questions, so it should be something you like.)
I was surprised to hear that Boq was at your appointment banquet; it's good to know you two are friends again. Please tell him I said hello and that I hope his literary career is going well. Has he finished that novel of his yet? It sounded like a very interesting take on religious history, and I would love to read it someday.
I hope you don't mind me using our private letters for official business, but it seems silly to send you two messages at once: The enclosed papers are lists of the law amendments we've recently made that will affect Munchkinland. I thought you'd want to see them as soon as possible.
Congratulations again, Nessa; I'm sure Mother would be proud. I miss you, and I hope you're happy.
Love,
Elphaba
1st of Second-Moon, Year 22
Doctor Ilius Marzan Dillamond
Professor of Ozian History
Shiz University
Miss Elphaba,
Rest assured that no letter of yours will ever be a bother; it's lovely to hear from you. I am quite well, and aside from the appalling lack of effort displayed by my second-year students, my work is most satisfying. On a slight tangent, you may be interested to know that, thanks to your efforts in the past few months, my colleges and I are drafting the curriculum for a new class to be offered next year, tentatively titled "History In Progress: The Re-Evaluation of Justice". It will be an ongoing study of the efforts of yourself, the Wizard, and Miss Glinda to help Oz, and we hope it will show students how choices are made by those who do not have the benefit of knowing what will happen next, and thus keep them from judging events in years past too harshly.
As to the favour you ask, it is no trouble at all; enclosed are copies of Madame Morrible's student file and her teaching record, as well as the employment records for Shiz faculty for the last fifty years. I expect that the former has to do with the upcoming three-year anniversary of the Madame's unfortunate death, but I admit to being puzzled by the latter. May I ask what it is for?
I must also tell you that Headmaster Arren was quite shocked to learn that you had written to me instead of him with this request, and is terribly worried that he has somehow offended you. I trust I can tell him that there is no need to worry?
Please feel free to write to me at any time, Miss Elphaba, and if I can be of any more help, you need only ask.
Your friend,
I M Dillamond
4th of Second-Moon, Year 22
Lady Glinda Upland
Emerald Palace
Emerald City
Dearest Momsie and Popsie,
I'm sorry it took me so long to write back, but there's so much to do! Elphie and I have spent the last few months meeting every minister and advisor and baron and lord and earl and judge and magistrate who is helping us to rule Oz (us! Doesn't that sound wonderful?), and there just hasn't been time to stop.
Being Press Secretary is a lot of work. Every day my assistants bring me newspapers and reports about all the important things that are happening with the court and the city and the rest of Oz, and then I have to balance all that against the work Elphie and Fiyero and His Ozness are doing and decide what parts of it the public should know and what they needn't be bothered with. Whenever I'm not doing that I'm with Elphie, either listening to petitions from Ozians who have complaints or a problem they need us to fix, or in the library reviewing Ozian law. Did you know that two hundred years ago, Queen Ozma the Operatic passed a law saying that no one with feathers could own a restaurant? Not work in it, just own it, and she still said it was for health reasons! Thankfully, Elphie and His Ozness and I were able to annul that one without having to take it to the cabinet ministers – you wouldn't believe how boringable they are.
But you mustn't think I'm complaining! I'm really very happy here. Everyone likes me, and they all call me "Lady Glinda"! Sometimes I actually have to stop them because they start calling me "Lady Arduenna", which is just silly since they all should know only Grandpop can actually call himself by our clan name.
About that: Aren't the Whitestones part of our clan, distantly? I don't really remember Miss Dulia, but I know Popsie and her father threw wine at each other during Granny's birthday party. What really happened to make them hate us so much?
I really would love to come home soon –I miss you so much! – but I just don't think I'm going to have the time. All the new laws Elphie and I have made to counter the bias against Animals are starting to be put into practice, and that means that three times as many people as usual are petitioning us to settle problems, and we can't ignore them or else they're going to ignore our laws. I'm sorry, Momsie, but I'm just not sure what's going to happen. I'll write to you whenever I can.
Love,
Your Linny
Lady Glinda
17th of Second-Moon, Year 22
Lady Amadel Tiggular
Kvon Altur
Neverdale
Fiyero,
Are you well? We hope you are, and you'll be glad to know that everyone here at home is doing fine; your father's leg has healed, Narjin has nearly completed his studies, Dian is growing fast and Meru insists that he has your eyes. She particularly misses you, Fiyero. We were surprised to hear that you decided to stay in the Emerald City for the summer as well, as you've always come home before. Your father was looking forward to a proper hunting trip with both his sons; do let us know as soon as possible if you change your mind.
To answer your question, yes, I'm afraid the population records in the City Archives will indeed be out of date – probably by eight years or so. Your father and I decided that it was not practical to seek out or recall every nomadic tribe once a year just to record their names when they never grow by more than a few people every year. I'm sure that the Wizard or your friend Madame Elphaba will be satisfied if you just estimate the population increase with those numbers; I assume this has to do with the rumours we've been hearing about a formal, Oz-wide census? Please explain to the Vizier how impractical this would be, and for our sake, ask her to reconsider.
Do pass on our greetings to the Wizard, Madame Vizier, and your Miss Glinda. It was very nice to meet your friends at your graduation last year, and we hope they are well.
We look forward to seeing you soon, Fiyero.
Love,
Mother
Father, Narjin, Meru and Dian
30th of Second-Moon, Year 22
Nessarose Thropp
Madame Governor
Colwen Grounds
Munchkinland
Elphaba,
Please give the Wizard my thanks for the brooch; having the Oz monogram circling our family crest is a perfect symbol for my position as Madame Governor. I hope you were very careful with what you said when he asked what sort of gift I would like, and didn't make me out to sound like a little girl.
Thank you for the amendments. Father and I have already seen to integrating them into Munchkinland law.
I'm very happy, Elphaba, and I miss you, too. Boq and I talked about you yesterday when we went on a very lovely picnic by the lake; his novel is coming along slowly, I'm afraid, and I can't tell you what it's like because he won't let me see it – I think he wants it to be a big surprise for me when it's done, and I can't wait.
Will you be coming home for your birthday next month?
Love,
Nessa
33rd of Second-Moon, Year 22
Elphaba Thropp
Grand Vizier
Emerald Palace
Emerald City
Doctor Dillamond,
Thank you very much for your help. To answer your question, I've been trying to see where and how so much of this unspoken bias against Animals actually came from, and I thought the faculty of a place like Shiz might be a good place to start.
I'm sorry I upset the Headmaster; I honestly hadn't thought about that. Glinda is helping me draft a letter to apologise without actually apologising, since apparently I'm not supposed to do that when someone's feelings are hurt, so I'd very much appreciate it if you could just tell him it wasn't personal.
That course sounds very interesting, and I'd be the first to sign up if I could. I can't promise to make very interesting decisions for you, but if I have time, I could try to make the reasons behind our choices more publicly known. Or would that ruin the point?
Actually, if you don't mind, can I ask another favour on the same subject? Glinda and Fiyero and I are having a hard time getting honest opinions of what Ozians in general think of the changes we've been making – everyone here in the city either wants something from us or is trying too hard to impress. I know you'll be honest, so would you mind telling us what you think of everything that we've been doing?
If you don't have the time, please don't worry about it. Thank you again for the files.
Sincerely,
Elphaba Thropp
2nd of Third-Moon, Year 22
Fallorn Tanzin
Rose Street Tailor's Shop
Ashton, Emerald City
Madame Grand Vizier,
I apologise most sincerely for being so forward as to write to you directly, but in your acceptance speech on Lurlinemas Day, you said that you would always be ready to assist Ozians in need of justice. I'm sorry to say that here in Ashton there has been an incident for which we are in sore need of such help.
In short, my son recently submitted his application to the local constabulary, but last night in the tavern, Constable Rerd Northorn – who was off-duty at the time and apparently somewhat intoxicated – declared that he would "never let a useless Animal wear one of his uniforms". My son argued that, as a Dog, he would be far from useless, and that your recent decrees have banned exactly that sort of discrimination. There was a brawl, and my son's tail was broken in three places by Northorn and two of his human friends.
I apologise again for taking so much of your time, but Northorn is the only law enforcer in our small area, the district magistrate is preoccupied with a murder trial, and the waiting list for petitions at the palace is three weeks long; I can see no alternative but to write to you. Myself and my neighbours in Ashton greatly respect the decision you made in Florton earlier this year, and we would be most obliged if you could ensure that the matter of Constable Northorn is investigated soon.
Humbly,
Fallorn Tanzin, Tailor
4th of Third-Moon, Year 22
Fallorn Tanzin
Rose Street Tailor's Shop
Ashton, Emerald City
Madame Grand Vizier,
Thank you once again for your most prompt attention to the matter I raised. I am sorry that we were not prepared to greet you – we did not realise that you customarily travel across town at one o'clock in the morning to deal with such offences. I cannot begin to express my gratitude for all you have done, particularly for your generosity in seeing to my son's medical needs. My neighbours and I greatly appreciate your swift reorganisation of the local law enforcement services.
If I might ask, for sake of curiosity, how long will former-Constable Northorn remain furry?
Yours,
Fallorn Tanzin, Tailor
11th of Third-Moon, Year 22
Frexspar Thropp
Governor Regent
Colwen Grounds
Munchkinland
Elphaba,
We can't accept amendment forty-four on this list; it would mean losing all the taxes from corn shipments, and we can't afford that. You'll have to change it back.
Your sister asked me to include copies of our reformation laws. There should be thirty-two pages.
Regards,
Father
15th of Third-Moon, Year 22
Fiyero Tiggular
Emerald Palace
Emerald City
Dear Mother, Father, Narjin, Meru and Dian
Yes, I'm good. Life here is never boring. The Wizard asks me to formally send his greetings, and the girls informally ask the same. They're all good, and they liked meeting you, too. I'm not dating Glinda.
Tell Meru I miss her more than she does, and that if Dian has my eyes I'm going to have to be very nice to him in order to get them back in my head where they belong. Maybe she could keep watch for me?
Sorry about the hunting trip, Father, but there's always next year, and if not, we can stalk snowcats when I come back for Meru's birthday. Are they getting braver this year, or are there just more of them up in the Kells?
Also, sorry that my census is going to be so much trouble, but we really need accurate numbers to work out labour taxes and keep the local starch-shirt noblemen from underpaying their workers. When I wrote it (bet you never thought I'd be writing legislation!), I figured we could just update the census at the solstice festival every year. Even the Yunamata come together for that.
Will write again soon.
Love,
Fiyero
20th of Third-Moon, Year 22
Elphaba Thropp
Grand Vizier
Emerald Palace
Emerald City
Dear Nessa,
I'm so sorry, but I'm not going to be able to make it home for my birthday this year. I've been trying all week to get things done early and take a few days off, but even with Glinda and Fiyero offering to do more than I think they can handle, it just won't work. I'm really sorry, Nessa. I was looking forward to seeing you.
It sounds like you and Boq had a wonderful time on your picnic. By "lake" do you mean the duck pond behind Mother's orchard, or did you two go all the way the Mossmere? Either way, I'm glad you're happy. I expect that Boq is shy about showing anyone his drafts; he probably thinks they're not very good. You might want to avoid getting your hopes up, but of course, I hope you're right.
I'm sorry to bring up business again, but you need to tell Father that I can't just reverse an amendment that the Wizard and his cabinet have already seen and approved, especially not after I was the one who suggested it. I really hate to make things difficult for you, but those taxes have to be dropped or else corn prices will be too high for the Quadlings and small-town citizens to handle. I'm really not sure why you needed to tax everyone travelling in or out of Munchkinland anyway; some people just won't be able to afford it. As Vizier, can I ask you to talk to me next time before you make those kinds of changes?
As your sister, let me say again that I'm really sorry not to be coming home. I miss you, Nessa, and I wish I could be there for you.
Hopefully I'll see you soon.
Love,
Elphaba
24th of Fourth-Moon, Year 22
Earl Yedran Garllon
437 Green Star Avenue
Emerald City
Lord Fiyero,
Having just heard an long-overdue confession from my sons concerning their most appalling behaviour following the Lurlinemas Ball, I must beg your acceptance of a most sincere apology, however delayed it may be. I assure you, no matter what their behaviour during your mutual time at Quox College, Lanik and Nollo do not usually imbibe enough alcohol to make up such absurd stories as that which they have regrettably informed me were fabricated that night.
Apologetically,
Earl Yedran Garllon
26th of Fourth-Moon, Year 22
Prince Fiyero Tiggular
Emerald Palace
Emerald City
Earl Garllon,
I'm afraid I have no idea what you're talking about. As I remember it, when your sons and I played billiards we only talked about our families and predictions for the post-Lurlinemas Quoxball game. They did say something about taxes and Animal labourers, but as far as I remember it was so ridiculous that I laughed and told Lanik that no nobleman in Oz would ever be so unethical. That said, if ever we share drinks again, I'll keep your words in mind.
Sincerely,
Prince Fiyero Tiggular
26th of Fourth-Moon, Year 22
Fiyero Tiggular
Emerald Palace
Emerald City
Glinda,
Earl Garllon's worried. He just tried to pass off the tax evasions the twins told me about as a drunken prank. Hopefully this means he'll be paying his Animal workers properly before we take the census in Sixth-Moon.
How are things going in Utensia? Let us know if you need a hand dealing with the Quadlings, all right? I know, you told me you wanted to do this alone, but I really wish you'd at least taken a few guards along just in case.
Since I know you'd want to ask, yes, Elphaba's still living in the library. Yesterday I suggested that we just move her bed in there and for a moment she was actually considering it. When you get back the two of us are going to have to drag her out of there by force. There's a new ice-cream shop opening soon on West Marble Boulevard – we should take her there for an afternoon.
See you soon.
Love,
Fiyero
1st of Fifth-Moon, Year 22
Meru Tiggular
Kvon Altur
Neverdale
Hello Fiyero!
Surprise it's me! Mamma said that if I used my best handwriting I could be the one to write our family letter to you this time. Mamma and Daddy say hello and hope you are happy and Narjin says hello and Dian is angry because I won't play and won't say anything but I'm sure he loves you anyway.
Last week I had a haircut and its much too short now but Mamma promises me it will grow back soon.
We all miss you and love you and Daddy says that if he travels to the Emerald City soon he might take me with him to come and see you! What is a sensus proposal?
Love Meru
and Mamma and Daddy and Narjin and Dian
(Narjin says he's fixed my spelling and punkctuation. I'm good at writing, amn't I?)
3rd of Fifth-Moon, Year 22
Lady Glinda Upland
Utensia
Quadling Country
Dear Fiyero,
That's very sweet of you, but really, I'm fine. I don't need soldiers to protect me. Everyone here treats me like a princess, and they're all very cooperative. I think it's the tiara – I know Elphie said it was too much, but it's really very useful for getting people to listen.
Congratulotions on Earl Garllon! I know you've been looking forward to catching him for months. What did your parents say about the census? Do they know you wrote it yet, and that it was your idea? It really was a wonderful one, Fiyero, and it's going to be such fun announcing that from the Grand Balcony! Have you written a speech yet, or do you just want me to do it? I already have lots of ideas.
As for Elphie, try stealing her glasses at breakfast; she never gets anything done if she can't read the small print. She's perfected her searching spell, though, so either you'll have to hide them with Oscar's spare glasses or ask Chistery to put them on the roof.
Anyways, I'm really tired – I've been on my feet all day – so I'm going to bed now. Goodnight! I should be home in another week or so.
Love,
Glinda
5th of Fifth-Moon, Year 22
Miss Elphaba,
This is Boq; I'm using an envelope Nessa addressed to you earlier to sneak this out. I'm sorry but there was no other way.
I need your help. I haven't left your sister's house since I got here almost a year ago, and every time I tell her I want to quit my job she ignores me. I'm practically locked in; I think the guards have orders not to let me leave. I know I have no right to ask you or Miss Glinda for help, but I'm desperate. I never wanted to hurt Nessa, but I'm not in love with her, and I want to go home. My family has no idea what's happened to me and I can't write to them because your sister has people checking all the post.
Please help me. I'll do anything you ask.
Boq
11th of Fifth-Moon, Year 22
Fiyero,
I didn't want to wake you, but I've got to go to Munchkinland. It looks like Nessa's done something very stupid. Tell the others not to worry about me. I'll be back soon.
Elphaba