ASK THE CULLENS
By jaymeecullen
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.
STEPHENIE MEYER OWNS THE TWILIGHT SAGA.
Dear Bella,
Can I borrow Edward for the weekend?
Sincerely yours,
Twilighter202!
Dear twilighter202,
Uhm…. NO…. I don't he would wanna and, he's gone hunting on that day… and…. NO!!! oh, and WHY? Don't you guys know that I'M MARRIED TO HIM?!? Or do you believe Emmett when he jokes around and says that Edward's gay…? 'cause if you guys do, I'm gonna kill Emmett!!!
From,
Isabela Marie Cullen (tell me if you believe Em, k?)
Dear Alice,
OMG!!!!!! I LOVE YOUUUUU!!!!!!!!
Wanna be my shopping buddy?!?
You rock!!!
You're my fave vampire eva!!!!
Love ya!
iSTALKalice
Dear iSTALKalice,
Well….. HEY!!! your that weirdo who keeps following me and sending me gift.. oh yeah! Thank you for the Credit Card… anyways… do me a favor?
STOP STALKING ME!!!
Yeah… and you were the one who sent me the letter saying that you even cut your hair like mine!!!!!!! *growls* THAT'S MY HAIRSTYLE YOU DUNGBETTLE!!! CHANGE YOUR HAIR OR I WILL COME AND SEE YOU PERSONALLY AND HAVE YOU FOR LUNCH!!!
PS. I will never ever be your shopping buddy!!! Not even in a million years!
Sincerely yours,
Alice
Dear Cullens,
Yeah, so I just wanted to ask you all if you have any pet names for your "mates"? pls tell me!!! LUV YA ALL!!!
Love,
Cullenizer89
Dear Cullenizer89,
CARLISLE: uhm…. Whitey (A/N haha… get it?)
ESME: Carly-poo…
ALICE: Jazzy-wazy…
JASPER: uhm…. nothing really…. Just alice… I love her name…
ALICE: awww!!! Love ya to jasper!!!
ROSALIE: emmy-poo, monkey man…. That's all….
EMMETT: rose?....really dunno… oh, but I secretly call Edward eddie! Haha!
EDWARD: EMMETT!!!!!!! Don't you EVER call me that! NEVER!!! Or else… I'll tell everyone what you did in your Bachelor party… I'm sure rose will be REALLY angry…. *winks at Rosalie* oh, and don't call Bella anything…
EMMETT: ahem… ahem… yeah right…
BELLA: just Edward… that's all I ever call him…. Ever…
RENESMEE: Jakey… *everyone laughs*
JACOB: nessie! Pls don't call me that in public…!!!
ROSALIE: mongrel!!! Get out of here!!! You're NOT a cullen!!! Shoo!!!
JACOB: whatever… wanna here another dumb blond joke, blondie?
ROSALIE: MUTT!!!
JACOB: DUMB BLOND!!!
ROSALIE: GAY-WOLF JACOB!!!!!
EMMETT: HEY! that's MY joke rose!!!
EDWARD: HA!
*THE BOYS START TACKLING EACH OTHER… randomly*
ALICE,BELLA,ROSALIE,RENESMEE,ESME: boys... *leaves*
JASPER: WAIT! WAIT! Lemme finish the letter!
Love,
The Cullens (and Jacob…)
Dear Edward,
ARE YOU GAY?!? 'cuz, Emmett keeps saying you are… is it even true? Or is he just joking?
LUV YAHHH!!!!
Love,
teamedward
Dear teamedward,
I AM NOT GAY!!!! EMMETT IS JUST JOKING!!!! WHY IN THE WORLD COULD I BE GAY!!!!!!!? I'M MARRIED TO BELLA!!!! AND NEWS FLASH, SHE'S A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!! RIGHT? RIGHT? AM I RIGHT?!?!
EMMETT: it's ok eddie… breathe in…. breath out….
EDWARD: I DON'T NEED YOU EMMETT!!!
EMMETT: sheesh! I was just trying to make you feel better, eddie… *rolls on the floor and laughs*
ANYWAYS… IGNORE EMMETTS WEIRDO COMMENTS ABOUT ME BEING GAY!!
Be safe,
Edward…. And weirdo Emmett…
Dear Rosalie,
What if I put glue on your hair brush? You know, as a practical joke?
From,
I'mpretty_not rose
Dear I'mpretty_not rose
SHUT UP YOU FREAK! If you ever do that…. I swear… Emmett will rip you to pieces not matter how hot you are…
EMMETT: wait, she's HOT?!?
ROSALIE: EMMETT!
EMMETT: but rose, you just said she was freakin HOT!
ROSALIE: EMMETT!!!!
EMMETT: ok! Ok! Sorry rose!!!
YOU ARE NOT LOVED BY,
Rosalie and Emmett
Dear Bella,
Would you dump Eddie if he was gay?
-emmett_i s hot
Dear emmett_is hot,
EDWARD IS NOT GAY!!!!!!!!
HEY! "eddie"?!? EMMETT!!! This is you, isn't it? Well, if it is… GET OFF THE INTERNET!! Or else I'll tell rose about your Bachelor party!!!
I HATE YOU EMMETT!
~Bella
Dear Carlisle,
Would you still bite Esme, even if she was alive and NOT dying?
-aly
Dear aly,
I wouldn't change her because she is alive and well… I would NEVER do that to a human… sorry…
ESME: Carlisle!!!!
CARLISLE: sorry whitey… It was only a question…
~Carlisle
yeah, so that's all…. Keep on sending me those reviews people!!!
THNNX SO MUCH!!!
Oh, and thnx to twilighter202 for her question!