ASK THE CULLENS
By jaymeecullen
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.
STEPHENIE MEYER OWNS THE TWILIGHT SAGA
Dear Rosalie,
I keep trying to kidnap Jasper,
But every time I try, I keep seeing Alice with a baseball bat,
Ready to smack someone….. WHY?!?
-jasperluva21
Dear stupid,
DID YOU FORGET OR SOMETHING?!?
ALICE CAN SEE THE FUTURE, RIGHT?!?
Uhhhh!!!! You humans are soooo dumb sometimes…
From,
A very pissed off Rosalie
Dear Edward,
What if I paint your car PINK?
You know, as a practical joke?
As in, out of boredom?
TELL ME!
Love,
carcrasher123
Dear carcrasher123,
Hmmm………………………………………..
WHAT IF I PAINT YOU PINK?!?!?!?!?!!!
ARE YOU NUTS OR SOMETHING?!?
WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT MY CAR PAINTED PINK?!?!?!?!?!?!
EMMETT: because you're GAY, eddie….
EDWARD: *GROWLS* stay out of this Emmett… or else….
EMMETT: or else what, eddie?
EDWARD: hmmm…… I WILL PERSONALLY PAINT YOUR "PRECIOUS JEEP" PINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW, GO AWAY!
EMMETT: NO!!!!!!!! PLS EDDIE!!!!!!!!!! I'LL GO AWAY NOW…..
*Emmett slowly leaves Edward's room……*
Anyway…. IF you even think of doing it…. Hmmm….. I'll tell alice that there's a midnight SALE in the mall and that you would wanna be her shopping buddy….
ALICE: OMG!!!!!!!! THERE'S A SALE?!?!?! WHEN? WHERE? YAY!!!!! EDWARD, WANNA BE MY SHOPPING BUDDY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! WEEE!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!
and there you have it, how Alice reacts when there is a midnight sale, just imagine how she would react if you were already IN the mall and there was a SALE….. mwahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!! Now, I'd just like to see you TRY to paint my car pink…..
From,
Alice, Emmett and NOT GAY Edward
Edward,
Did you ever wonder why it's called Masking Tape?
~Mina
Dear Mina,
Uhm………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
NO!
From,
A very confused Edward
Dear Carlisle,
Do vampires have uhm….. a Penis?!?
I wanna know….
Oh, and, if they do, what are they for?
-Julien
Dear Julien,
Uhm…. Yes, vampires do have a….. Penis
And they're for…
EMMETT: they're for display!!! Woo-hoo!!!!
CARLISLE: Emmett! Stop this nonsense!!! Or I'll take away your jeep and your Wii!!!!
EMMETT: NO!!!!!!!!!! CARLISLE, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyways, what're our penisis for anyways?
CARLISLE: hmmm….. actually, they are not much use so… I don't really know….
Love,
Carlisle and Emmett
Dear Cullens,
Let's say, you didn't have anyway "mates" yet….
Would you choose to date Mike, Aro, or a really HOT girl?
Love,
Aliza
Dear Aliza,
CARLISLE: UHM…. I don't really know…..
ESME: don't know….
ALICE: UHM…… mike?
JASPER: ALICE!!!!!
ALICE: he was in the choices jazzy-poo….
JASPER: ALICE!!!!! PLS DON'T CALL ME THAT IN PUBLIC!!!!!
EMMETT: THE REALLY HOT GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ROSALIE: EMMETT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EMMETT: but rose, she's HOT!
ROSALIE: ahem….ahem….
EMMETT: but you weren't in the choices!!!!!!!
ROSALIE: UGH! FINE EMMETT, NO SEX FOR 2 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!
EMMETT: no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BELLA: uhm….. mike?
EDWARD: BELLA!
BELLA: WHAT? You want me to date Aro?!?!?!?!
EDWARD: you have a point there, love. I'm sorry I shouted at you….
BELLA: it's ok Edward… *kissed him*
RENESMEE: ewww!!!!! Mommy, daddy, DON'T DO THAT!!!!!
EDWARD: WHY darling?
RENESMEE: 'CAUSE IT'S YUCKY!!!!
BELLA: but your gonna do that too, Renesmee…
EDWARD: when you grow up!
*EVERYONE LAUGHS*
RENESMEE: why is everyone laughing? Oh, and I wanna do that to Jacob!!
……..when I grow up…..
* everyone laughs…. Even harder now…..*
Love,
The laughing Cullens
Yeah, so, hope you guys enjoyed reading!!!!
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SEE YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!