ASK THE CULLENS
By jaymeecullen
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.
STEPHENIE MEYER OWNS THE TWILIGHT SAGA.
Dear Cullens,
What's your favorite and least part about being vampires?
Love
I'llAlwaysBeInEdwardsColdArms
P.S Alice there's a sale at the mall on Saturday.
Want to go shopping?
Dear I'llAlwaysBeInEdwardsColdArms
CARLISLE: being able to help people….no bad part
ESME: being able to care for my "adopted" children….can't eat my own food..
ALICE: I WILL NOT GO SHOPPING W/ YOU!!!!
JASPER: feeling other people's feelings…especially EMMETT… disgusting
EMMETT: being HOT! And having fan girls… ABSOLUTELY NO BADPART!!!!!
ROSALIE: I hate being a vampire!!!!! Uhhhh!!! I CAN'T have kids!!!!
BELLA: being w/ Edward forever…. ABSOLUTELY NO BAD PART!!!
EDWARD: being w/ Bella forever….being a monster
RENESMEE: I'm not even a FULL vampire!!! Gosh! But at least I get to have Jakey...
JACOB: well….if you ask me….being a vampire STINKS! I mean, LITTERALY…
ROSALIE: get OUT mutt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JACOB: fine blondie! Kick the ONLY person who agrees w/ you, OUT!
EMMETT: yeah, rose, he has a point there
JACOB: hahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE A POINT!!!!!!
ROSALIE: ok, fine, you DO have a point…
JACOB: HA! Awesome! Uh-huh! –uh-huh! OH YEAAHHHH!!!!!!! IN YOUR FACE BLONDIE!!!!!!!!
ROSALIE: shouldn't you be getting your fur groomed today? I mean, it'll get REALLY dirty if you don't…
*JACOB STORMS OFF*
From,
The Cullens and….Jacob
Dear Jasper,
What would be your ideal Christmas list?
From,
Santa Claus
Dear Santa Claus,
1. BLOOD
2. BLOOD
3. BLOOD
4. BELLA
EDWARD: not funny, jasper!!!!!!!!!!!
EMMETT: OMG!!!!!! It's Santa everyone!!! Can you believe it?!?! SANTA!
AM I NAUGHTY OR NICE?!? I tried really hard to be nice!!!!!! It's not my fault
I always want Rose so badly…
JASPER: EMMETT!!! STOP THINKING THAT!!!!
Merry Christmas Santa!
-Jasper,Edward and Emmett
Dear Emmett,
If you got a WII, what game would you get?
P.S. rose, what is the secret to your hair?
Love
BittenByTwilight333
Dear BittenByTwilight333,
Hmmm….I think I would get Guitar Hero or something…. I LOVE THAT GAME!!!!!
ROSALIE: yeah Emmett, but you SUCK!
EMMETT: NO! I DO NOT SUCK!!!
JASPER: ha! Yes you do, em
EDWARD: yeah, remember we borrowed The Denali's WII? YOU SUCKED!
EMMETT: no! I….I don't remember...
ROSALIE: oh, and the beauty that my hair has comes NATURALLY
*THE BOYS CONTINUE TO ARGUE ABOUT EMMETT SUCKING IN GUITAR HERO*
Love,
Rosalie, Jasper, Edward and a very pissed off Emmett
Dear Alice,
What if the government closed ALL THE MALLS down…
And you had to wear sweats to school?
PS. You already threw out ALL of your clothes and you needed to buy new ones ('cause you threw out you other clothes)
From,
XCrystalX
Dear XCrystalX,
I'm so sorry that I can't reply to your letter.
I've gone to murder the government. See ya later then! :)
Love,
Alice Cullen.
Dear Renesmee,
Do you like McDonalds? (not necessarily the food)
Love,
PlaceyPlacePatriot
Dear PlaceyPlacePatriot,
Well, I HAVE been there w/ Uncle Jasper, but, When we were at the counter, and the lady asked us what we wanted, he suddenly looked REALLY tense and said that we had to leave RIGHT NOW. I got really pissed to after that we went hunting. So, I guess, the store looked pretty good. But I never got to taste the food though…
-Renesmee
Dear Emmett,
If you saw me, what would your reaction be? What if Rosaliewas there as well? (Two answers!!!)
Love,
i emm3tt (Also nicknamed "Kitty" by various guys) ;)
PS. I'm hot
Dear i emm3tt (Kitty)
Uhm…don't tell rose, but I'd resist the temptation to ask you out…
ROSALIE: EMMETT!!!!! What did Edward just tell me?!?!
EMMETT: COME HERE, EDWARD!!!!!! I'M GONNA MURDER YOU!!!!
EDWARD: ha ha emmett, this is my revenge!!!! Mwahaha!!!!
EMMETT: REVENGE FOR WHAT?!? YOU B****!
EDWARD: oh em, don't call me a B****! You're the one who keeps calling me GAY!!!!
EMMETT: THAT'S BECAUSE YOU ARE, EDDIE!!!!!
EDWARD: don't you ever say that again, or I will tell Rosalie what you did in your Bachelor Party…. *smirks*
EMMETT: F*** YOU!!! *starts to pound on Edward*
ROSALIE: well….if you are hot, you'll NEVER be as hot as me!!!!
From,
A wrestling Emmett and Edward and Rosalie
Dear Edward,
Why are nicknamed Eddie? Why do you love Bella because she smells pretty? Why do vampires need "protection"? Why is your hair ginger? Yes, it's not bronze, it's ginger!! STOP DENYING IT!!! Why don't you cut your hair? Yes, vampires need to cut their hair because I heard somewhere that after you die, your hair and nails still grow. SO WHY DON'T YOU CUT YOUR F'N HAIR?!?!?!
With NO love
KKK (KittyKatKontrol)
Dear KKK,
IT'S NOT MY FAULT EMMETT CALLS ME EDDIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And as for your 2nd question, I don't love Bella because she's smells good-
JASPER: but she REALLY does…
EDWARD: don't but in Jasper!!!
Anyways, as I was saying, I love Bella because she is the MOST beautiful person in the world to me. And I love her. And I don't understand your 3rd question. And as for your 4th, MY HAIR IS BRONZE!!!!! NOT GINGER!!!! I MEAN, C'MON! IT'S REALLY NOT THAT HARD TO NOTICE!!!!!! And, as for your last and final question, I think your gonna have to ask Carlisle about that.
~Edward.
Dear Bella,
Is it true that you only love Edward because he's pretty? (YES HE'S PRETTY! Not beautiful, or gorgeous, or anything like that!!) and because he sparkles? Because, where I live, if a guys sparkles, he's considered GAY. (which Edward is!!!)
Your not-so-biggest fan,
3D-1S-G4Y
Dear 3D-1S-G4Y,
Uhm… I don't love Edward because he's pretty or because he sparkles!!!!
I love him because he LOVES me and because he CARES about me. Can you
Understand that?!? Oh, and, HE IS ABSOLUTELY NOT GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~Bella
Dear Jacob,
Why did you imprint on Renesmee? Because, apparently, you haven't seen me yet. XD Just Kidding. Seriously, why Renesmee? Just wondering….. (not that she's bad or anything, I'm just curious)
Love,
TeamJacob (BecauseEdwardGayAndHe'sInDenial)
Dear TeamJacob,
Well, I don't really know why imprinted one her. But I don't regret doing it. Nessie is awesome :)
Love,
Jacob
Dear Carlisle,
Why is the sky blue? ?___? Why are you a Doctor? How come you never told Esme what you REALLY do during the night shifts at the hospital? You know, with all the pretty nurses around….? By The Way, remember the girl that was running around the hospital screaming about being "bitten"? (I've been bitten! I've been bitten!) That was me. By the way, what type of superhuman power is compassion is- what do you do in a fight? Love thy enemy to death?
Love,
Me.
Dear Me,
Well, I'm not a genius! How am I supposed to know why the sky is blue? And I wanted to be a Doctor because I get to save people (if you know what I mean)
And I don't do ANYTHING in the hospital during my night shifts, well, maybe Doctor Auzbern does, but I definitely don't . And NO, I do not remember the girl running around the hospital. And I'm afraid I don't have any special ability. People just say that I am VERY compassionate.
From,
Carlisle Cullen
Dear Alice,
You're my 2nd favorite!!! Don't ask who the 1st is. I don't want to die by the wrath of Alice. Can I be your shopping buddy? PLEASE? If yo are thinking of saying no, hear this: I worship Vogue and La Vida like they're the Bible. XD
Love,
ShoppingLOv3r
Dear ShoppingLOv3r,
NO, I don't think that I would want- WAIT! Did you say, VOGUE?!? I love that!!!! One of my favorites, that one is. Well, I guess I don't worship them like they're the Bible, 'cause, well, the Bible is a very important thing. Anyways, Carlisle cut off my credit card because of last week's shopping "accident". So, if you really wanna be my shopping buddy, you're gonna have to have LOTS OF MONEY.
Yours truly,
Alice
Dear Jasper,
HI! If Alice hasn't figured out yet, you're my 1st favorite!!!
Love,
ShoppingLOv3r
Yeah, so, thanks so much to Katsummi-zhao-Yamamoto!
You're awesome! Thanks for the questions!
I guess this chapter is dedicated to her, 'cause, well, she gave me most of the questions!
Uhm, sorry for the late update, I had to do something….
Review it pls! thnx again!