ASK THE CULLENS
By jaymeecullen
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.
STEPHENIE MEYER OWNS THE TWILIGHT SAGA.
Dear Cullens,
What are your favorite songs?
Love,
twilighter202
Dear twilighter202,
Carlisle: Hmm…I think it would be any one of Edward's compositions.
Esme: I'm with Carlisle.
Alice: Material Girl –Madonna
Jasper: Hmm…I don't listen to music that much…
Edward: Bella's Lullaby
Bella: My lullaby
Rosalie: Don't stop Believing –(the Glee version)
Alice: *coughs* Gleek *coughs*
Rosalie: I heard that! Shut up, Alice!
Alice: Whatever sissy! Anyways, where's Emmett?
*Rosalie walks out & finds Emmett in the shower singing…*
Emmett: "Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me! yeah!"
Rosalie: What the hell, Emmett?!!
Emmett: Aaaah! Rose! Don't sneak up on me like that!
Rosalie: Why were you singing…singing…
*Alice comes in and sees Rosalie and Emmett*
Alice: Aaaaah! If you guys were in the middle of, of "something" you could've at least locked the door!!!
Renesmee: Hi Auntie Alice, Auntie Rosalie, Uncle Emmett! What's the "something" you were talking about? I was taking a nap and then I needed to go potty and I overheard you talking about the "something"
Rosalie, Emmett & Alice: Uh…um…
Edward & Bella: Okay! I think it's time to end the letter!
Love,
The Confused Cullens
Dear Cullens,
Why do you hate the werewolves so much? And, no Rosalie, you can't say they're ugly, stupid, stink or anything that means the same thing.
Love,
jazzi-kins
Dear jazzi-kins,
We don't really hate the wolves that much-
Rosalie: YES WE DO!
Jacob: No, we don't!
Rosalie: Mutt! What're you doing here again?!?
Jacob: I practically live here, supah blonde!
Rosalie: Ugh! Go suck your balls or something, anyway, that's what dogs do!
Alice: Aaaaah! I'm sick you two! Okay, this what I'm gonna do since you guys won't leave each other alone. Jacob, you suck like eggs & well, you stink. Rosalie, you're too frickin vain & you're a b****. Okay, that's all, goodbye now.
Love,
A very pissed off Alice, Rosalie & Jacob & the rest of the Cullens
Dear werewolves,
Why do you hate vampires so much? YOU CANT SAY THEY STINK OR ARE UGLY OR ARE STUPID OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT! D:
Love,
jazzi-kins
Dear jazzi-kins,
This is Jacob answering since supah blonde here won't let the pack in their house, anyways, we don't REALLY hate them, were just…I don't know, this isn't really my kind of letter, ugh!
Rosalie: Where's the letter?!
Oh no, sorry, I have to go now, BYE!
Rosalie: It's with YOU! *growls* I thought I burned that?!! *prepares to pounce on him*
Okay, I'm ending the letter now. *Jacob runs off*
Love,
Jacob and a very pissed off Rosalie
Dear Renesmee,
Do you REALLY like Jacob?? 'Cause...you know...the age difference... (if your not ready to do 'it' with him...I could do a test run...hehe
Love,
wildcatinforks.
Dear wildcatinforks,
Of course I love Jacob! He's my best friend! And, what's "do it"? I'm afraid I cannot understand. Wait, I'll ask mommy.
Renesmee: Mommy!!!
Bella: Yes, Renesmee?
Renesmee: What's "do it"?
Bella: what?! Where did you hear that?
Renesmee: Nevermind. I'll ask Uncle Emmett instead. Bye mommy!
Bella: But-
Renesmee: BYE MOMMY!!! *runs off to Emmett* Uncle Emmett, what's "do it"?
*Emmett gets annoyed `cause he's playing a video game*
Emmett: It' sex, now run along, and let me finish my game! BYE!
Renesmee: What's "sex"?
Bella: NO! EMMETT! UGH!
Okay, hi, it's Edward, time to end the letter bye!
Love,
A confused Nessie, a pissed off Bella, and a stupid, stupid Emmett.
Dear Alice & Carlisle,
Alice: I think your fashion knowledge is amazing. If you could pick any outfit for Bella, what would it be?
Carlisle: What was London like in the 1600s? Because it seems really interesting.
Love,
Auby-Muhahahahaha
Dear Auby-Muhahahahaha,
Alice: Thank you, thank you! Hmm…if I could pick ANY outfit for Bella..Oh! I know! I'd buy her those lingerie I saw at the mall the other day! I think I'll do it now! Bye!
Bella: Alice no!!!!!!
Carlisle: Hmm…London in the 1600s, huh? Well, it was very interesting if you ask me…
Emmett: There he goes again, blah, blah, blah…Jasper, help me!
Jasper: Okay, but only this once. I just don't wanna hear Carlisle talk about it again. CARLISLE! ESME NEEDS YOU, RIGHT NOW!
Carlisle: Sorry, I can't continue with the story, I have to help Esme. Bye!
*Carlisle runs off & Emmett & Jasper give each other a high-fve*
Love,
Alice & Carlisle
Dear Emmett & Rosalie,
Who stays on top when you guys "do it"? Just curious.
Love,
Asdfghjkl
*The letter flies to the floor before anyone knows it's there and Renesmee finds it and reads it*
"What's this? Oh, a letter, for Aunt Rose & Uncle Em!"
*Goes up to their room and find the door locked*
"Hello? Aunt Rose? Uncle Emmett?"
"Later! Renesmee! Were busy!"
"Hmm, I wonder what their doing…I guess I'll have to answer the letter myself."
*reads it and answers*
Dear Asdfghjkl,
Hmm…here we go again with the "do it" thing! What is it anyway? And what's sex? I reeeally wanna find out! Also, what do mommy,daddy & Aunt Rose & Uncle Em & everyone else do when they run up to their rooms & lock the door? I can't seem to understand. So, I'm just gonna go ahead and just say a random answer: I think Auntie Rosalie would be on top, since Uncle Emmett always carries her.
*Bella wonders why Nessie's so quiet & finds her with the letter*
Bella: Renesmee?
Renesmee: Hi Mommy! Where do you stay, on top or in the bottom? You know, when you & daddy "do it"? What's "do it" anyway?
*Bella stares at her daughter in shock*
Bella: Um…who wants to go hunting?!
*Renesmee gets sidetracked and runs out the door and waits for Bella*
Bella: *sighs for relief* Oh thank God.
From,
A very confused Renesmee
Okay, I'm really sorry for the superrr late update guys. I've been really busy with my other stories & everything else. Hope you enjoy this! Review!