Nate: Apathetic Prince of Sloth

What it is: Apathy/Sloth is the avoidance of work or effort; such a person exhibits an indifferent, unresponsive, emotionless attitude about almost everything.

Why you do it: You are lazy, hopeless, or lost. Sometimes all three.

Punishment: Thrown into a snake pit. You will have to finally do something.

Nate often wears the color blue. His mother buys most of his clothes, and since his eyes are blue, she buys clothes to match. Almost his entire wardrobe is one color. He's never thought to say he might like a different color. Blair bought him a green sweater once, but he hardly ever wore it. His mother didn't think it looked good on him.

"You're The One That I Want," Gossip Girl says. To everyone. But at least she knows what she wants.

Nate doesn't have a clue.

He used to think he knew. Back when they were all children, everything was simpler. Now, his father wants him to go to Dartmouth and uphold the family (his own) legacy. His mother is pushing Yale. Nate had some vague idea about USC, but now he's not sure. He's not sure of anything really.

Everything feels mapped out; the tiny print hurts his eyes to even read but it spells out his life in such a clear cut path that it makes him sick. It's out of his control. Follow the path, they say, and you will be rewarded.

Fuck that, Nate wants to say. Fuck you. But he doesn't.

If only he knew what he wanted.

His parents want him with Blair. But all Nate can think about is Serena.

Blair is pretty. Serena is beautiful. Blair has perfectly curled brown hair. Serena's wavy, messy blonde locks flow to her waist. Blair wears her school uniform to school, her nightgown at night, her teadress for tea, an evening gown at soirées. Serena wears boots with shorts and negligees outside under her peacoat. Blair wants to be thin and perfect and beautiful and appropriate and in style and romantic and in control. Serena loves being out of control. Blair is organized. Serena is untidy. Blair watches what she eats. Serena eats pizza. Blair is ice. Serena is sun. Blair is a virgin. Serena is not.

Neither is Nate.

It just happens. One minute they're fooling around at the bar, the next his pants are undone, her dress shoved up and her mouth on his. The feelings Serena stirs in his stomach carry him away to a place where he doesn't have to think at all; he just floats. It feels so nice.

When she disappears, she is still all he can think about, even though everyone else seems to have forgotten her. But when she comes back, reappearing from nowhere, she seems to have forgotten him. Or at least she wants to forget what happened.

He tries to follow her wishes, to stay away, but he can't help himself. He wants her (he thinks). Everyone's always pushing him to do something ("sleep with Blair" from Chuck, "look at Dartmouth" from the Captain, "play harder" from his lacrosse coach, "buy more" from his dealer), so he finally does something. It's time to make a decision, right?

He tells Blair. After her initial screaming, crying meltdown, she calmly tells him she forgives him and that they should just put it behind them. Ice queen to the extreme. He's not sure staying with her is what he wants…but he did hurt her. He supposes it's a good idea. It's easy, at least, staying with Blair. And, after all, Serena is still ignoring him.

He tries to talk to Serena, but it seems like every time he does, he gets caught off guard by something. First at Chuck's dad's brunch, they're caught by Blair, who races downstairs to spill the beans to that loser Brooklyn scholarship kid, whose opinion apparently matters to Serena. The second time he tries to tell Serena his real feelings, he ends up not kissing her at all but that freshman Blair wanna-be Jenny Humphrey. Just his fucking luck.

Nate's luck is not very good. His mother thinks he's doing cocaine. Carter Baizen is an asshat who set him up in a fixed poker game. His father is dipping into his trust fund. Blair is too busy to talk to. And soon everything blows up and Nate is falling into a pit he can't escape from: his father is arrested, charged with embezzlement and fraud, his mother is falling apart, Blair breaks up with him, and Nate doesn't know what the fuck to do. He's the head of the family now. He should be making decisions. Right?

Maybe…he wasn't in love with Serena. Maybe it was always Blair after all. She's so glamorous and giggly and beautiful all of a sudden (and Serena seems to have dropped off the face of the earth—or at least Manhattan; she's been spending so much time in Brooklyn with Humphrey that Nate almost forgets how captivating her eyes are). So Nate decides he wants Blair—he likes Blair (he thinks)—but apparently she doesn't want him.

She's sleeping with Chuck? Slept with him? There isn't really a difference in his book.

Nate doesn't make that many decisions in his life, but he knows the protocol is to break up with her—especially because everyone knows, thanks to Gossip Girl. So he does. (Sure he messes Chuck up a bit, but Nate doesn't really fight for Blair. Why would he? He doesn't like her enough (he thinks).)

He meets another girl. Vanessa. A Brooklyn barista with a wide smile and exotic eyes. He spends time with her instead of visiting his dad in rehab. It's easier, and when has Nate ever not done what is easy? She's cute and he convinces her to take the SATs and he even invites her to the Van der Bass wedding, where, somehow, he reconciles with Chuck, punches his escaping coward of a father, and feels more lost than ever.

Nate is stretched, stuck in a game of tug of war from all sides.

To escape, to forget, to put off responsibility, to procrastinate any decisions he should be making, he hides in the Hamptons, ignoring Vanessa's calls and observing Chuck and Blair's games of cat and mouse.

Catherine is even better in bed than Serena was. Of course, she's married…but does that really matter? She wants him, and he wants her (he thinks) and it's simple, right?

Or at least he thought it was simple. Suddenly everything—everything—is complicated again. His mom is out of money and went behind his back with Chuck to get some, Chuck didn't tell him, the Feds are making an inventory of everything they own, Catherine is jealous and won't leave him alone even though it's dangerous now that they're back in the city, and Vanessa seems so stable and safe and a good choice again. Can't he catch a break? All he wants to do is sleep and roll up a few joints and listen to his iPod and forget and just float away on a fucking cloud…

Somehow, thankfully, Blair gets rid of Catherine (however that happened…although her fake boyfriend Marcus went with her…), but Vanessa and he "aren't friends" and he's squatting in his park avenue apartment and he's sick to death of everyone knowing who he is. It's not his fault his father embezzled money and made bad investments and stole millions. He follows his mom's advice to visit Yale, but the douche bags there aren't willing to forget what the Captain did anytime soon, so that college trip was a complete bust (except for hooking up with that one girl…what was her name again?). No matter what his mom says, he's not going to Yale. It's a fine school and all, but he can't imagine having to put up with those Skull and Bones assholes every day. It would take too much work.

Nate decides to be friends with Dan Humphrey. At least they have hot water in Brooklyn. It's a good idea, he thinks—that is, until Dan slams him up against a wall and yells at him for kissing Jenny.

Although, Nate feels that kissing her wasn't really his fault. He was the one who rescued her (in her bra) from that creepy photographer. And he supervised her fashion show—that crazy model couldn't take all the credit, could she? So Jenny's mouth happened to get in the way and meet his now and then, so what? Does Dan really have to play over-protective big brother all the time? It's not like Nate is Chuck Bass for crying out loud.

Fine, fine. Nate leaves. He likes Jenny (he thinks), but it won't be easy. So why not go away? He writes her a letter. Real mail is so slow. Even slower than e-mail. That way he can escape faster.

At home, his father miraculously shows up again and wants to take them all away to somewhere where the Feds can't get them. The Captain wants to be with his family. Nate thinks it's an okay idea. He remembers how the Captain used to take him sailing on the family yacht. Maybe they'll finally do father-son things again.

In fact, he's almost convinced until Vanessa and Chuck track him down.

And they're pretty persuasive, too. So, he takes their advice and convinces his father to turn himself in. That's easiest in the long run. He won't have to be on the lookout for Feds and stay out of the US forever this way. And the Vanderbilts will help now that the Captain's out of the picture.

Vanessa (whom he likes again…he thinks—well, he likes her better than Jenny right now, at any rate) convinces him to reconcile with his grandfather. The Vanderbilts welcome him home with open arms and it feels good. Now there's someone there to believe in him, to pat him on the back, to make him feel like he belongs. Grandfather loves him and encourages him to take an internship at the mayor's office for the summer. It certainly sounds good. Europe with Vanessa just doesn't come up to par in comparison.

In fact, Vanessa in general just doesn't come up to par. Stop crying about Europe, Vanessa. You should be celebrating the fact that Nate reconciled with his family, like you wanted.

Vanessa leaves the Vanderbilt family anniversary party early, and Blair steps up in her place. Both girls are wearing black and white dresses, cream-colored cardigans, and have their hair pinned back in a half-up do. Nate almost would not have noticed that it's Blair and not Vanessa left standing there, gazing up at him, if not for the fact that when he takes her home, the towncar heads uptown rather than to Brooklyn. Blair is a better choice (he thinks). She loves family legacies and understands about clubs and dinners and expectations.

Yes. Suddenly everything's back to the way it was. Nate and Blair. King and Queen. Destined for greatness.

He tries not to notice the half-pained, half-longing looks she sends Chuck when she thinks no one is looking. He tells himself she's different—losing Yale and Chuck and everything has changed her.

But it turns out that everything really is the same as it always was. Grandfather is still as manipulative as ever (having the Captain investigated by the FBI? How familial, Grandfather). And Blair is a high school princess who accidentally fell for Nate's best friend.

It's a little annoying to catch them acting all innocent about meeting on the street "by accident."

"It's no big deal," Blair says. "You know that, right?"

Nate tells Chuck to let Blair go. Chuck tells Nate to pee on Blair.

"She's the one that I want," Nate insists. He at least thinks so, anyway.

It all comes to nothing. Blair leaves him at Prom with a cardboard crown. Nate leaves high school with Gossip Girl's title of Class Whore.

Sure he seems to get around, but was he a whore? Women just naturally flocked to him—Nate can't help it. And besides, he spent most of his adolescent life kissing Blair with no tongue (her rules). He has to make up for lost time.

High school is over. Nate just wants to escape it all. He doesn't want to think about the fact that his best friend and former girlfriend have gotten together (again). He doesn't want to think about going to Columbia in the fall. He doesn't want to think about Grandfather's plans for him. Nate has had enough plans. He's followed plans his whole life. He doesn't care about the rules.

Maybe in Europe he'll find what he's looking for, whatever that is. Vanessa did smile at him after all. It'll be fun.

He thinks.