Oh look! A month hasn't passed and she's updated again! Okay, before anyone gets too excited, I'd like to let you know that this chapter doesn't exactly meet my standards either. But in my defense, I've been having a very hectic week, so if the chapter seems too busy, I'm sorry. I do most of my writing between 12 and 4 am so...its sort of insane. This will not happen once school is back in session. I get a haircut tomorrow! This may sound odd but getting my haircut always gives me inspiration! So do reviews! Haha, anyhow I hope the chapter is okay and review if you get the chance!
Erik avoided Christine as best he could after she had kissed him. He needed to protect her, and the best way to do that was to keep himself far away from her. If she was in the kitchen, he was in the living area. If she was in the living area, he was in his bedroom. They were seldom in the same room together for more than a few moments at a time. He hated not being beside Christine, caring for her and loving her like a real man would do. But he also hated the monster he was for acting the way he had. He needed to keep her safe above all else, and if this is what it took, then so be it.
She had claimed to love him no matter what he did. He wanted to beleive that. He wanted to trust her. But what if it happened again? He shuddered at the mere thought of it. He looekd down at his hands. The hands that had the potential to kill her. He shook his head. No. That would not happen again. He would cut off his hands before he put her in danger again. Something had to be wrong with him to do something like that. Maybe he had finally lost his sanity. That would explain his behavior. But it would not explain the headaches and the shakiness he had started to experience. Perhaps he was ill. No matter. He would not allow Christine to find out, and he would make himself well had been able to care for himself whenever he was sick before. Now was no different. His priority at the moment, however, was to stay away from Christine. His health would come later.
Christine's heart ached for Erik. She knew he had been avoiding her. She wanted to help him get through what he was experiencing, but her better instincts told her to let him handle it in his own way. She tried not to move around the house too often, for he would leave if they were ever in the same room. She would watch him as he stood alone in the kitchen, his back turned to her. She knew that he was thinking. What he was thinking of she could only guess, but she didn't think they were positive thoughts.
This was all her fault. She was too idiotic to realise that Erik may have been tempted by her. Had she understood that, she would not have put him in that position. She seemed to never think when it came to Erik's benefit. He likely blamed himself for what had happened, but there was blame to share. She would have to change her habits if she and Erik were going to live in the same house. She did not know what she was going to do to make things easier for Erik, but she would find a way.
Christine saw Erik cross the room, his face cast down. He breifly glanced at her, but his eyes went back to the floor too quickly for Christine's liking. He went to the door of his bedroom and put his hand on the knob.
"Erik, wait," Christine stopped him.
Erik tensed immediately. Should he turn around? Should he just ignore her and go into his room? Would she just follow him if he did?
"Yes?" he answered her, but did not turn around. His hand was still on the doorknob.
"Would you like some tea?" she asked timidly.
Erik sighed and turned the knob, pushing the door in.
"Erik, please," she tried again. He turned his head to look at her from the corners of his eyes. "I just want to spend time with you..."
Erik looked at his feet. Surely he could control himself for a cup of tea. He took a deep breath and shut the door.
Christine stood as soon as Erik shut the door. He turned around but came no further. She blushed, embarassed, and went into the kitchen. She found all she would need to make the tea and put the water on. She tried to keep busy, but she was not sure how well she was doing when all she wanted to do was look back and see if Erik was still there. She hoped he had not left. She had taken a risk by asking him to have tea with her. He had not actually said he would, but she hoped he was going to. The water came to a boil and the teapot let out a shrill whistle. Christine took a small towell and picked up the pot, taking it off of the heat. She put the water in a more decorative pot and set it on the tray, on which she had placed two teacups. She placed the teabags in the cups and picked up the tray, carrying it into the living area.
She placed the tray on the coffee table and took her seat on the sofa. Erik was still there, but he was seated in his chair across from her. She was glad he had chosen to stay, but disappointed that he had not taken his new place on the sofa. She felt rather stupid for thinking he would sit there after what had happened so recently. She stopped her train of thought so she could fix the tea.
Erik observed Christine as she poured their tea. She seemed frustrated about something, but he could not think of what could be frustrating her. He had agreed to having tea with her. It had been her own suggestion, so that could not be the issue. She fixed his tea just the way he liked it and passed him his cup on a small saucer. He sipped at it, his eyes never leaving Christine. She stared into her cup, cradling it with both hands.
"Christine?" he inquired.
"Yes?" she looked up quickly, her eyes alert and hopeful.
"You seem...withdrawn," Erik struggled to find an appropriate word. "Is everything alright?"
"Excuse me?" Christine blinked.
"You seem withdrawn," Erik started again. "Are you feeling alright?"
"I am withdrawn?" Christine returned her cup to the table forcefully. "I am withdrawn, when you are the one who has been sulking around our house avoiding me like the plauge?! And no, I'm not alright! The man that I love wont come within a five foot radius of me!"
"You mean my house..." Erik mumbled under his breath.
Christine heard him.
"What?" she was still bewildered, but that remark had stung her. She did not even know what else to say.
"I..." Erik realised his stupidity. He averted his eyes and sipped at his tea.
Erik felt the cup being knocked out of his hand. He heard the cup hit the ground and the sound of liquid spilling out onto the floor. He looked up and saw Christine standing over him. Her hands clenched into fist at her sides. Tears were brewing in her eyes and she was breathing heavily. Erik cleared his throat and shifted in his seat, folding his hands in his lap and making a study of them.
"Look at me!" she sobbed, falling to her knees and looking up at him. "Just look at me, Erik! Please! All I want is for you to acknowledge that I exist! A pat on the head, a smile, a handshake, anything! Please!"
Erik's eyes had been riveted to Christine for her entire plea. He smiled, stroked her hair with one hand and held out the other in the indication that he wanted to shake her hand. She smiled and let out a choked laugh, then sniffed. She took Erik's hand and shook it weakly. She made to let go of his hand, but Erik held on. Standing, he pulled Christine to her feet and embraced her. She relaxed and let him hold her.
"I apologize for my rude comment about our house," he said in a low, soothing voice as he shifted from one foot to the other, rocking her back and forth. "I am also sorry
for neglecting to take care of you."
"I know," she breathed into his chest. "I can hardly stand it when you are so miserable. I wanted to help...but you would not let me...I hate seeing you so upset...I did not know what to do...I just..."
"Hush, my love," Erik murmered, hearing her start to cry. "The fault is all mine. I simply thought that I could prevent myself from harming you by keeping myself away. I had no idea of the pain that my neglect would cause you."
"I love you so much, Erik," Christine's voice was muffled by Erik's shirt. "I never want you to feel like you need to stay away from me. If you feel that way, please tell me. I can try to help."
"I could have killed you," Erik mumbled, closing his eyes to keep his head clear. "I would never be able to forgive myself if that were to happen..."
"Erik," She looked up at him. "You barely touched me."
"That is not what I meant," Erik sighed, opening his eyes and looking down at Christine's upturned face. "I had no control over my actions. I do not know what made me realise what I was doing. I am lucky you are still here..."
"Erik," Christine said softly. "I am not going anywhere. The important thing is, you did what most men would not have. You stopped yourself. I was at your mercy and you chose to do the right thing. That is one of the many reasons why I love you. You know the right thing to do, and you choose to do it. I know that you will make mistakes, and so will I. There is nothing that will make me stop loving you."
"How can you be so certain, Christine?" Erik looked into her eyes, searching for answers and truth. "How do you know?"
Christine sighed and nuzzled her face into Erik's chest, wrapping her arms around his middle.
"Did you stop loving me when I kissed Raoul on the roof?" Christine asked.
Erik growled and tightened his grip on Christine at the mention of the Viscount. He had been following them since he had learned of their "engagement". He had heard the conversation about him. He had seen them kiss. He had seen his ring fall off her finger as her hands had become entangled in the boy's hair. He remembered the feeling well. It was as though his very soul had been torn apart. He had felt like he was incapable of breathing. Like life itself had been stolen from him. But had he stopped loving her, even for a moment?
"No," he answered in a shuddering breath.
"Did you stop loving me when I asked you to give me away to Raoul at the wedding?" she continued questioning him.
He growled again and pressed Christine to his body. His vision was hazy for a moment as he recalled that hellish night. He remembered feeling like he was falling from a great height, laughing to fight off his tears, the tears coming anyway. He remembered thinking her cruel for asking him for such a thing. He also remembered saying yes. He had said yes because of his love for her.
"No," he answered once again.
"See?" Christine looked up at him again. "Even though I did those horrid, terrible things to you, you did not stop loving me. Even though you lost control, I still love you."
Erik ran his fingers through Christine's golden hair.
"Does that make any sense?" Christine tilted her head.
"It makes perfect sense," he breathed, bending down to lightly kiss her forehead. She smiled, then buried her face in his shirt front once more.
They stood that way for a moment, locked in the safety of one another's embrace. However, the moment was cut short when Erik swayed, nearly falling. He caught himself, on the back of his chair and found his feet. He shook his head and blinked a few times.
"Erik!" Christine screamed, cupping his face with her hands. "Are you alright?! What happened?!"
Erik tried to collect himself while Christine checked him all over for God only knew what. He had gotten very dizzy and lost his balance. Nothing more. It could have happened to anyone.
He heard Christine gasp and looked down at her. She was kneeling on the ground and had lifted his pant leg and was gaping at his ankle. Why the hell was she looking at his ankle? Did his ankle affect his balance? Why was she so fascinated by his ankle at all?
"Christine?" he cocked his head.
"Erik...what happened?" her voice shook and her face was pale as she let go of his pant leg.
Damn it all! He had been trying to keep the cut on his ankle to himself!
"It is merely a scratch, Christine," he knelt down in front of her.
"Merely a..." Christine seemed horrified that he had used such a term to describe the cut on his ankle. "Erik, look at it!"
"Alright," He lifted the bottom of his pant leg. Oh. It was no wonder Christine had been so shocked. The cut had gotten infected. Who knew what had cut him, but it had likely been covered in bacteria.
"Christine, this is nothing I have not dealt with before," he assured her, stroking her cheek.
"Does it always make you so ill?" Christine asked innocently.
Erik blinked. Christine had no idea what she had just implied. Perhaps the cut was what had caused all the headaches, the attack, everything!
"Christine! I can solve everything!" he cried out in triumph. He pulled her to his chest and laughed.
Christine was horribly confused. She did not recall what had led her to examine his ankle, but she had, and what she had seen was horrifying. There was a deep gash in Erik's ankle, surrounded by angry red streaks. She had been concerned immediately, near tears, worried for him. He had looked at it himself upon her request. He had seemed surprised, but not shocked. She was especiallt confused when he clasped her to his chest and started to laugh. It was not a frightening laugh, it had a sweet and pure quality to it. His happiness spread to her, and she was soon laughing into his chest with him.
Christine looked up to see his truly happy expression. She smiled at him through her laughter and before she knew it his lips were on hers and he was kissing her. He was not aggressive in the least. He explored her mouth playfully, laughter still coming up from his throat. She kissed him back, laughing as well. Christine tried to keep a light and happy mentality, but she was finding it difficult. His breath was mingling with hers, and she found her laughter turning to sighs. Her heart rate was increasing and she felt her head begin spin.
Erik noticed the change. He had kissed her. He had not lost control. He had not lost his mind. He had simply kissed her. He was happy, and he wanted to share his happiness with her. She had not resisted. He had ventured out and initiated something. He relaxed and tried to let things happen naturally. He was simply enjoying himself, and Christine seemed to be enjoying it as well. She was laughing with him as they kissed. For a while. Then her laughter changed into soft sighs. Her fingers splayed out on his chest and she pressed further into his mouth.
He was at first reluctant to respond. He did not know what it could lead to. But he calmed himself. He was in control. He knew his limits. He was perfectly sane. He would stop if it became too much. He went back to trusting his instincts. He wound one arm around her and buried his hand in her hair while he continued to discover the wonder that was her mouth.
Christine nearly purred as Erik pulled her closer. He was incredible. It seemed like he knew exactly what to do. She wanted more of him, and she looped her arms around his neck. She nibbled at his lip, then ran her tongue over it. He pulled back, chuckling, and rubbed her back and head. Christine wanted nothing of it. She forced his mouth open with her tongue and lips and kissed him passionately. Erik did not return the enthusiasm, but held back. He was teasing her!
Erik smiled into Christine's lips as she realised he was toying with her. He had deliberately refused to return the passion in her kiss, but instead kept his explorations playful and sweet. That was not the reaction she had been hoping for. She released her hold on his neck, and he in return unwound his arms from around her and started to pull back from the kiss. Christine responded in an almost panicky fashion, hooking her arms under his and pulling him back.
"No," Christine breathed into Erik's mouth as she tried to make him feel how she was feeling. She squeezed him tightly to her. She felt the muscles in her arms begin to quiver and ache from how tightly she was holding him. She ignored it. She needed to make him respond to her. She kissed him and moaned into his mouth, always holding him tightly. Still, nothing changed.
No! she thought as she all but collapsed into his chest, her arms hanging limply at her sides as she panted.
Erik smirked as he patted the back of Christine's head. He chuckled at her as she rested against his chest. She made a weak attempt at slapping his chest. She had exhausted herself. She could not have hurt him even if she actually had a reason to.
Erik lifted her with ease and laid her out on the sofa, kissing her on the forehead and smoothing her hair before he excused himself to his bedroom, closing the door behind him.
Well there it is. Let me know what you think!