Stunned, he pushed her back, the sudden awareness drenching him like a wave. He gaped at her, wide-eyed.
"It's YOU! You've been here all along, haven't you?"
She smiled broadly, eyes sparkling. He stared at her as if he'd never seen her before, then tugged her back to him, wrapping his arms around her, clinging to her like a lifeline. He buried his face in her hair, and silently heaved with both sobs and laughter at the same time. For the first time in years, he was free of the dark weight of sorrow and loneliness that hung on everything he did. He could feel tears trickling from the corners of his eyes, but he let them come. He seemed to be floating.
Then he felt a rising heat—and a hunger—that he had nearly forgotten. It thawed the shards of ice in his heart and brought to his mouth what he would have objectively considered a foolish smile. He tipped her chin up and pulled her even closer to him, kissing her deeply, knowing she could feel his need for her. Wanting her to feel it. He longed to let go of his hesitation completely right then. Yet, something still nagged at him, something that he wasn't sure how to answer.
"What am I going to tell James Monday morning?"
She answered him as people always had when he asked this sort of question.
"Knowing you, Robbie, you'll tell him the truth."
"But . . ." He dove in. "But what about you and him? I saw you two whispering together tonight, when I went to get that round. You can't tell me there's nothing going on." He half-feared what she would say.
She looked a little guilty at first, then took a deep breath and chuckled a bit.
"I'm afraid I have to admit we were whispering together, but it was about you, Robbie, not about me and James. James has known from the start that there was something deeper than just old friendship between you and me. He was betting you'd take at least another month to discover it and I insisted you would recognize it tonight if only you were given the right opportunity. It seems he owes me lunch."
"Seriously? You two were betting on how thick I might be?" He thought back a moment on the evening, and let himself feel hurt. "What, and playing me, the whole time?"
She looked concerned at this. "Not playing, no. Giving you the means to work it out on your own." She glanced up to see how he was taking all this. "Really." Then, barely above a whisper, "Robbie, I've no other wish but to hold you. To be with you. To make your pain go away, or at least be lessened. And James will be glad of it, even if it means he lost the bet. More than anything, we want you to have the happiness you deserve."
He could see she meant it. She had been with him through Hell and would let him be whatever it was he needed to be. But she would also be his ground, his anchor. Exactly what he needed. He found her lips again, kissing her hard and without reservation, and she returned it in full measure. A new fire blazed in him, consuming the past, and he gave himself happily and completely to its warmth and light.