Wow, it's been a while. Personally, I blame college, ex-girlfriend and friend drama, my birthday, and Dollhouse. All of which could be good enough reasons...April has been a very busy and frustrating month for me and it's not even over yet. Anyway, I have an update. Thank you to all of you reading and especially those of you reviewing. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Flashback in italics.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The characters belong to Tommy Lynch.

Enjoy!

Looking Back For You

I pull up to the beach house in no time, still wondering why Spencer had asked me to meet her here in the first place, especially after how we left things. I take a calming breath before pushing the door open and walking in. For a moment I wonder if I've beaten her here, if in all my eagerness I've arrived before she has. But, when I hear the faint sound of a piano being played I know exactly where to find her. I walk slowly to the room I know she's in, I lean against the doorway, watching as she presses key after key eliciting notes in no particular rhythm, not playing a song, but pressing the keys nonetheless. I watch her for a few minutes before making my way into the room and taking a seat beside her. She doesn't move, she shows no acknowledgement of my presence. We sit in an awkward silence for what feels like forever until I break it.

"What're we doing here Spence?"

Her fingers leave the keys for a moment, long enough for her to take in a deep breath, but soon enough, they return and press a few more keys down. She doesn't turn to face me and no words leave her lips.

I wait impatiently for her to respond to my question, but I'm met with nothing, so I try again. "Spence, why are we here?" Again, she doesn't say anything. She's giving her focus completely to the piano and it's beginning to bug me. I wait for a response for a while longer before grabbing her hands and turning her to face me. "Spencer."

She looks down at our joined hands before removing hers from mine. Finally she looks up and into my eyes. Her blue ones boring into my brown. "Why now?"

I'm slightly taken aback. I search her eyes for an explanation, but I can't seem to find one. "What?"

She slides back on the bench, adding even more space to this growing gap between us. "Why are you doing this now?"

I grab a hold of her hand, slowly moving my thumb over her skin. "What am I doing Spence?" She pulls her hand out of mine and just shakes her head, no longer looking into my eyes. I can see the tears falling down her cheeks. "Tell me what I'm doing." She shakes her head again, making the tears taking over her face even more apparent. I can't help it when my hand reaches out to wipe the tears from her eyes.

"Stop." She says pulling even further away from me, my hand dropping to my side.

"Stop what Spence?"

"Stop doing that…being here." She stands up, gesturing around us as her back hits the wall.

"Spencer-"

"Don't. You don't get to do this…you don't get to be here now, not after everything."

I shake my head because I'm honestly not following what she's saying. "Spence, listen-"

"It's been a year and a half Ashley! It's been a fucking year and a half and you didn't do anything…not once in all that time, so why now? Why are you doing this now?"

And suddenly it dawns on me. It hits me like a ton of bricks. "Because I need to."

"Because you need to? No, you don't get to do that Ashley. You don't get to decide now, that you're ready to fight for us. You don't get to barge in and disrupt everything just because you want to. It doesn't work that way."

I take a step towards her. She doesn't move away, she continues to stare me down, anger taking over her features. "I know, okay? I know that this should've happened a long time before now but I was scared. I was terrified of losing you altogether, and you know what? I still am, but I need to do this. I need to fight for us."

"There is no us." It's spoken softly. It comes out strained and broken. I move closer, I invade her space because I know she doesn't mean it, she can't mean it. The pull between us is too strong for her to believe that claim even for a second.

"You don't mean that."

I take another step in her direction, effectively pinning her to the wall. She shakes her head a few times, refusing to meet my gaze, so I make the move. I grab a hold of her chin, bringing her eyes level with mine. I rest my forehead against hers and watch as her eyes close.

"Stop." It comes out as a whisper, betraying what it was intended to do. It doesn't keep me from moving even closer. It doesn't stop my lips from meeting hers, and it definitely doesn't stop the moan that escapes her. It does nothing that it was supposed to do. Because I don't stop and move away. Because I kiss her and she kisses me back. Because my hands are holding on to her hips and hers are tangled in my hair. Because my thigh is finding itself between her legs and she's pulling me closer, clinging to my body for dear life. Because even though we know that this isn't the right moment, that there's someone that will be hurt as a result of this moment, neither one of us pulls away.

I'm awoken to the feel of water splashing across my face. I jerk out of bed to find a very pissed off looking Spencer staring at me, a bucket in her hands. I blink a few times, because I must be dreaming, this moment is too ridiculous to be happening. But as my eyes focus on Spencer standing at the foot of the bed, I know this moment is all too real.

"What the fuck Spencer?" I can't help the anger surrounding my words. I peel the wet shirt off of my body and attempt to dry my face with what little of it is still dry.

"Where were you last night?" I roll my eyes. Really? This is the reason why she decided to wake me up with a bucket of water. I ignore her as I make my way to the closet to get a towel. "Ashley."

"Are you kidding me right now? You seriously woke me up for this?" I close my eyes as a frustrated sigh leaves my lips. "Fine. I was here, okay? Happy?"

"You were here?"

My teeth clench on their own accord, because honestly I don't need this right now. "Please get to the point Spence, I'm really not in the mood for this." I'm also not a morning person.

"You're not in the mood?" I realize now that maybe I shouldn't have said that. "Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot I was speaking to the Ashley Davies. You want me to come back? Maybe when you feel like dealing with your girlfriend? I'm not one of your fans Ashley, you don't get to decide when I'm worth your time."

I turn to face her, hoping my eyes are conveying the words I'm about to speak, because honestly I can't stand another fight. "I didn't mean it like that, okay? I'm just tired and crabby and this whole bucket of water thing didn't really put me in the best of moods."

"You know what? Forget it…you obviously don't care." She turns and heads towards the door. She has it pulled open before I grab her arm and turn her to face me.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing…it's not like it matters to you anyway." With that she releases her arm from my grip and walks out of the room. I groan loudly before sending the towel in my hands flying across the room and into the lamp, causing it to shatter on the floor.

I'm still kissing her as we make our way to the bedroom. Her hands are all over my body, searching for any contact she can make with my skin, which is proving to be difficult what with the clothing I still seem to be wearing. We land on the bed with a soft thud, my body fitting perfectly between her legs. She pulls me even closer, moaning loudly as my thigh makes contact with her heating core. She flips us over so that she's straddling my waist, grinding her hips into me, hoping to alleviate some of the tension our activity has caused. My hands are at the hem of her shirt, pulling it off of her body. She leans down crashing our lips together deepening the kiss immediately.

I stare at the broken lamp for a few minutes before deciding to go after her. I grab a shirt out of the dresser and quickly put it on. I grab my keys and make my way out of the door. When I get down to my car I see her sitting in hers, making no move to back out of the driveway. I walk up to the passenger door and find that its unlocked. Taking a seat inside the car, I shut the door. She doesn't say anything, she doesn't even look at me.

"I'm sorry."

"Stop. I'm so sick of hearing you apologize to me." Her voice is shaky and her eyes are filled with tears begging to fall. I don't say anything. All I have right now are apologies and she doesn't want them. I stare out of the windshield. It's my only safe escape right now. I just want to reach out and hold her, but I think at this point it'd be crossing some kind of line. "I'm so sick of fighting with you."

"Then don't… just talk to me." I turn to face her, taking in the look of defeat plastered across her face.

"Why? It's not like it'll make a bit of difference." And there's that little hint of anger making its presence known.

"That's not fair."

"No, not fair is always coming in second to everything else."

I grab hold of her, turning her to face me, hoping she knows how absurd that statement was. "That's not true."

"Yes it is Ashley. Something always comes up that's more important to you than I am."

"How can you say that?"

"How could you forget our anniversary?" And the tears fall. They make their descent down her face because she can't hold them in any longer. She can't pretend that she's angry when a look of hurt is taking over her features.

My hand is drawing lazy circles on her inner thigh, so close to where I know she wants me to be. Our clothes form piles on the ground, leaving us only one barrier separating her from my completely bare self. As my fingers wrap themselves around the waistband of her underwear removing that last garment, my lips slide slowly and deliberately from her neck to her chest. Her hands move to the back of my neck, bringing my lips back up to meet hers. She kisses me languidly, dragging her hand up and down my back, causing my entire body to shiver just slightly.