A/N: See the note at the end of the chapter.

Disclaimer: I own the water bottle I'm currently drinking. SM owns everything else.

Chapter 7: My Best Friend

BPOV

I went home and drank myself stupid. It sounded like a good idea at the time.

I didn't want to talk about this right now.

I knew it was going to come out at some point or another but I was hoping for the later.

Memories started to flood my mind the more I drank.

Memories that I hadn't allowed myself to think about in years.

My therapist made me talk about them in my sessions despite the agony they put me through. I felt I had my own way of dealing with my past. She agreed with my idea, and over time I began to heal and grow. The only problem was that every time I dug deeper into my past to move forward, I moved two steps back thinking of the pain that I went through, and the pain that I caused.

6 years ago...

"Jake!" He didn't respond as I stood in front of him with my arms crossed over my chest. "Jake!" I said a little bit louder. He was bombed. He wasn't even listening to me.

I kicked his leg and his eyes popped open. He glared at me with glossy eyes. Jake reached out for my leg and I quickly moved out of the way.

"Fuck off Bella!" He yelled as he took another hit on his bong. "Don't ever fucking kick me again, you got it?"

Jake had been stoned on the couch for most of the night. I wanted to go out. Do something. All we did lately was sit around his apartment and get stoned.

I grabbed his arm trying to pull him up when he took a swing at my face. I ducked out of the way before he made contact. I let his arm drop and backed away knowing that this wasn't going to end well.

"I said Fuck. Off. Bella!" He screamed as he launched himself on me and wrapped his huge hands around my arms shaking me.

I could feel his grip tightening as I stood there with my eyes shut. Don't cry Bella. This isn't the time to let him see you cry.

"Look at me!" He became more aggressive as the second ticked by. I continued to close my eyes. I was scared. Scared of what was to come. "I said fucking look at me!"

I looked up at the man I thought I loved. There was no love in his eyes, only hate. He pressed his mouth hard on mine trying to open it to allow his tongue entrance. I stood there like a statue, not wanting the contact. Not when he was like this. I knew this wasn't Jake. He did love me. But not when he was stoned.

He grew impatient and pressed me hard against his chest. I could feel his dick against my stomach harden his kisses grew deeper and deeper.

He cupped my breast too much and I screamed out in pain. He took it as a scream of passion and tightened his hold.

I tried to pull away but went nowhere. It was a comparison of David in Goliath.

"Stop it Jake! You're scaring me!" I continued to try and pull away with no luck. He was easily twice my size.

"Bella stop trying to run when I know you want it." He cupped my sex and pressed his fingers on me through my jeans. I flinched at the contact and tried to back away. "You know you fucking want it!"

He wasn't taking no for an answer and began unzipping my jeans. I couldn't have sex with him like this. It would hurt. I knew that pain. He didn't know when enough was enough when he was like this.

He removed his hands from me to unzip his own pants. I found my window and took it. I pushed away when I had the chance and ran for the door. He grabbed me as I was half way through and slammed it shut on my arm.

I heard the sickening sound of the bone crack. I felt the pain shoot through my arm. He didn't care. He had his eye on the prize.

My pants fell to the floor as he pulled them off of me and there was nothing I could do.

*******

When it was over, Jake passed out. All I could think was Thank God he passed out!

I took the opportunity to clean myself up and catch my breath before calling Jazz. He answered on the first ring.

I told him about my arm. He screamed into the phone, just like I knew he would.

"I fell. You know how clumsy I am." I tried to laugh it off. He would be here in a few minutes and I had to compose myself.

I slowly got dressed and ignored my throbbing body and arm, which was now twice the size it usually was. Jazz would never stop if he really knew everything that had happened in the last 20 minutes.

This wasn't Jake. He was just stoned.

He would never intentionally hurt me.

I shut my journal and laughed at that last thought.

God Damn I was stupid!

I drank the last bottle of beer that I had and realized I was out of alcohol.

Thinking of my past was going to turn me into a drunk.

I went for my smokes and realized they too, were empty.

I paced around my apartment unsure of what to do next.

I decided that I didn't want to be alone anymore. If Edward wanted to be with me, he had to know all of me.

I knew I had to put my big girl pants on at some point in my life and hold my head high.

I took a few deep breaths trying to convince myself that I could do this.

That I actually could do this.

After my inner battle was suppressed, I made my way out of the apartment.

I walked back over to the shop, pepper spray in hand as it had gotten dark while I was drinking. When I got to the shop, I noticed the shades were down and the door was locked. I used the key Edward had given me, and let myself in. I could hear people talking and froze in the doorway listening.

No one noticed my entrance.

They were talking about me.

Jasper was upset. He was talking about my past.

My personal moments I hadn't told anyone about accept him. And my therapist.

Fuck.

Shit.

I was coming back here to explain things but apparently I was a few minutes too late. Now what would he think?

Fuck.

"And Edward man, if you ever lay one finger on her, I won't hold back and I won't apologize, you got it?" Jasper was threatening Edward.

A thousand different thoughts came to mind all at once. I felt my head spinning as I tried to keep my emotions in check. But my mind took over.

Run. Flee. Escape. Bolt.

My feet didn't move. My body frozen as I stood there. My fingers clenching and un-clenching.

I don't want to deal with this, I told myself. They know. Or at least they knew as much as Jasper would tell.

I knew he wouldn't tell all of the gory details.

He wouldn't do that to me. Not even with these guys.

As much as I wanted to hate Jasper in that very moment, I couldn't. He wasn't doing this to be malicious to me. Jasper did love me.

If I was sure of one thing in this world, I was sure of his love.

Edward ran his hands through his hair. His face was distraught. I noticed his knuckles were bloody as my eyes moved up his body to meet his eyes. He was still looking down as I stared at him. The moment he realized that I had been standing there, his body tensed, jaw slacked as if he was going to say something.

I immediately looked away, not wanting to see the look on his face any longer.

Tears fell down my face. Damn traitor tears. I wanted to run. Not deal with this shit. But my body wasn't listening to me once again.

I saw the empty bottle of Jack in his hand. His knuckles were bloody and kept clenching, I could tell he was tense and trying to keep himself in check.

Could he deal with this? Maybe this was a bad idea. I shouldn't have come back.

I turned around and tried to get away, tears running down my cheeks. Jasper grabbed me from behind and instinctively I tried to hit him. He held my arms tighter and wrapped me in a hug from behind. He turned me around so I was now facing him and pulled me into a tight hug. I buried my face into his chest as he rubbed my back. I faintly heard him whispering 'I'm sorry', over and over in my ear.

Alice stood up and placed her hand on my shoulder and Emmett came over and wrapped his arms around all of us. They all held me like that for a few minutes until I pulled myself together.

I wanted to slap myself for crying like a baby. I think I was more embarrassed than anything that I walked in on their conversation.

Jasper let go when he saw that I had composed myself a little, and grabbed my hand walking me over to his chair. He was about to pull me in his lap, when another hand grabbed me.

Edward hadn't moved from his chair since I came in. I finally made eye contact with him and saw his eyes were wet with tears.

They were also blood shot.

He took my hand and pulled me onto his lap holding me tight as I cuddled into his warm embrace.

He kissed my cheek once, twice, three times.

"I will never hurt you, B." He whispered into my ear. I cried again at that statement, knowing that it was true.

Edward rubbed me soothingly across my back and arms never loosening his hold. "I'm sorry we were talking about you, but I had to know. You left me hanging and I couldn't deal with it."

"I understand. That's actually why I came back. I just wasn't expecting to walk in on that." I said, then grabbed his bloody hand in mine. "Edward, what the hell happened to your hand?"

Edward looked down and didn't answer for a few moments.

I placed my other hand on his cheek and willed him to look at me.

"I was mad Bella. Furious. After you left I couldn't help it. I was so torn up that someone could treat you the way they did. And now after what Jasper told us," His grip tightened and Jasper shot him a knowing glance that said 'control yourself fucker'. Edward loosened his grip slightly but didn't let me go. "I'm sorry Bella. But the thought of the pain you've been through is/was making me insane."

"I know E, but you gotta let it go." I said running my hand through his hair. I got my emotions in check before I continued. "If you want this, us, to work you need to know what you're dealing with. Me. I'm broken, and I've been through a lot. But I'm strong. I'm not that girl anymore. And I trust you. Jasper trusts you."

I looked over at Jasper and gave him a weak smile. I had to let him know that I wasn't mad at him. I looked back at Edward who sat with his eyes closed. A single tear made its way down his cheek and I reached out to wipe it away.

Edward placed a chaste kiss on my lips and leaned his forehead against mine. "Bella, I'm so sorry for those assholes who ever laid a hand on you. I will protect you, and you'll never be hurt again."

Emmett placed his hand on my back warmly. "Bella, none of us will let you get hurt. We love you."

"Thanks guys. I love you all too." I said with a half smile looking down at Edward's bloody hand. I swallowed the knot in my throat and focused on not crying.

This was a little much to deal with and I had to get the attention off of me. "OK, enough about me. Anyone ready for a drink or smoke? I know I could go for one." Or five...

Alice grabbed my hand and kissed my cheek as she pulled me towards the door. I grabbed the lighter out of Edward's pocket and he passed me a cigarette. The smooth taste of nicotine was just what I needed.

The guys all trailed behind us as we made our way out the door. Emmett called Rose and we walked past the apartment to pick her up. We headed over to Eclipse where we sat at the bar and took turns buying rounds.

Alice and I were going shot for shot until I finally called uncle. The little pixie sure could hold her liquor.

Edward's eyes never left me, he kept me close to him the entire night.

I felt as if part of the weight had been lifted with what Jasper had shared. Edward knew, well mostly knew about my past, as well as the rest of them. And I didn't feel like there was much more to hide. Other than the fact that James was indeed in the city and stared at me through a window. But maybe I was just over reacting.

Jasper took me aside and briefed me on what he'd told them. I nodded not making eye contact. They knew the jist of it. Of course they didn't know everything. It was too painful for them to know. Someday, maybe, I would be brave enough with the rest.

Edward and I danced and held each other through the night. He sang to me and I relaxed into his touch. I realized in that moment that although Edward was torn up about what he had found out, he wasn't going anywhere. He was still here. Holding me. Comforting me.

Nothing more was sad about what he found out. Now wasn't the time.

At closing, we all walked home. Well more like stumbled, but we made it home.

We said our good nights and Jasper and I headed down to our apartment.

I could tell that Edward didn't want to leave me, and I didn't want to leave him. But we had only been together for a few weeks, and I was trying to take it slow.

This slow shit wasn't going to last much longer, but I was trying.

And tonight was not the night for us to further our relationship. Tonight I needed to get my head back on track.

As Edward kissed me goodnight, I knew things were going to be ok. He understood that I needed this time with Jazz to figure my head out. We agreed to talk in the morning. We would be fine.

"Bella," Jasper said, leaning against the bathroom door while I brushed my teeth. He was standing in his boxers leaning more against the door for support than necessary.

" Please don't be mad at me for telling them. I didn't tell them everything, but Cullen, he was so messed up after you left and had a right to know. And Emmett and Alice love you."

I rinsed my mouth drying it off then leaped into Jasper's arms. He pulled me into a bone-crushing hug and held me there for several minutes. "I'm not mad at you Jazz. It's ok, they're our friends, and that's actually why I was coming back anyways. I must say that I was a little shocked though. Especially since I walked in on you ready to beat Edwards ass, but he had a right to know. And I'll fill him in later about the rest." Jasper looked at my eyes as if I was lying. "I will!"

Jasper hugged me tighter as we stood there in each other's arms.

"Bell." His voice was shaky. "It was so hard to tell them about your past but at the same time it felt good. It's eaten me up inside for years, not being able to talk to anyone about it. Would it be wrong to say that I actually felt relieved to finally talk to someone?"

"Of course not Jazz. I knew you should've gone to counseling with me. I never realized how much it affected you though." I stared into his eyes, which were now filled with tears.

"How much it affected me Bell?" He actually looked pissed. "You didn't realize how much the last 9 years have affected me?"

I was crying now with him. Jasper had never really talked about this before.

"Bell? Do you know what it was like watching you go week after week to stay with James while I knew that he was beating the shit out of you every chance he got? And when you would come home you would say it was nothing? Do you want to even know what was going through my head all those months that you were with him?" I wiped away the tears that had fallen on his cheeks.

"I'm sorry Jazz. I can't imagine how that must have been for you. I was so selfish to put you through all of that. I'm sorry. I only thought about myself and how much I needed you." I cried into his chest. I was a selfish bastard for making him go through all of that with me.

He rubbed my back soothingly. "That's not what I meant Bell. I was never mad at you. Well, the only reason I was mad was because you were so fucking stubborn. You refused to let me in, even when you were hurting. Every time I would try to talk to you about anything, you would pull away. It got to the point that I didn't even push anymore. I didn't want you to pull away so much that I pushed you into his arms."

"God, what did I do to you Jazz? For so long, all I cared about was trying to heal myself. You were always there. Supporting me. Making sure that I felt loved and was safe." I looked into his eyes as I spoke. "But what kind of a friend was I to you? I allowed myself to go through all of that torture and expected you to just stand by me. I was so fucking stupid Jazz. So fucking stupid!"

"Bell. I am going to say this once. And only once. You were and still are the best fucking friend I could have ever asked for. You're my sister for all intended purposes. My other half. If it weren't for you, I don't know where I'd be right now. I wouldn't be me. I wouldn't be here."

"But if it weren't for me, you would've been able to have a normal life. The life you lived with me was anything but normal." I pushed away from him, but he only held me tighter.

"I wouldn't take it back for a second. I beat myself up every day for letting you get in that car with the fucker, but I know now that I can't change the past. We grew together Bell. I won't ever forgive myself for letting you get hurt, but I know that it's over now. It's behind us and I have to move on." Jasper sniffled back another round of tears.

If he only knew that it wasn't over. James was here. In the city. And it wasn't over. Deep down I knew that it was never going to be over.

With that we both went to bed. I was emotionally drained. I asked Jasper to cuddle with me for a while because I needed him.

I needed him just like I used too. He agreed and held me in his arms until I started to drift off.

9 years ago...

"Jazz.... you gotta let me go. I love James. He loves me. I fell. I'm clumsy and I fell!" I pointed to the newest bruises on my arms.

From the way that Jazz looked at me, I knew he didn't believe me.

"Fucking Christ Bell. You didn't fucking fall!" He grabbed my arm directly over the bruises and matched his fingers along them. "Why do you let him do this to you? Why?"

"It was my fault Jazz. I asked for it. I should have just shut my mouth like he told me too. We both know I don't shut my mouth when I should." I was trying to hold back the traitor tears, but they betrayed me.

Jazz pulled me into a tight hug as I cried on his shoulder.

"You didn't deserve this sweetheart. You don't ever deserve to be hurt. If he really loved you like you think, he wouldn't have ever touched you in the first place."

I knew Jazz was right. But deep down I thought James loved me. He told me all the time. It was usually while he was unzipping my jeans or hiking up my skirt, but I believed it nonetheless.

"I gotta go Jazz. He's expecting me in an hour. I gotta go, or he's gonna be mad." I knew what was coming, but I couldn't help my compulsiveness to please James. He would make me 'pay' if I didn't get there when I said I would.

I started to walk away towards my car when Jazz grabbed my hand to pull me back.

"Let me come with you Bell. Please. Let me come. I can't let you go alone. Not after all of this." He said pointing to my arms.

"N-No Jazz! You can't come! He won't be happy that you'll be there! You can't Jazz. You just can't!" Please Jazz, I thought, you gotta let this go. If you know what's good for me, you'll let me go.

"I'm tired of this Bell. Enough is enough. I'm going with you whether you like it or not." He grabbed my keys and got in the drivers seat of my car.

We made out way to Houston. My stomach churned the entire time we drove.

I knew what was coming, and I knew what James would think.

I told him about where I lived due to my dad passing away. He had called me a whore on more than one occasion, but I shrugged it off knowing that it wasn't true.

As we walked up to the apartment I felt myself getting sicker by the second.

There on the other side of the door was James.

He glared at me. I knew that look. Nothing good ever came from that look.

I felt myself start to shake and was scared.

Scared not only for myself but also for my best friend standing beside me.

I awoke from my nightmare screaming. Jasper, who was still lying next to me, wrapped me in his arms trying to comfort me. The more I remembered about my nightmare, the more I realized it wasn't a nightmare. It was real. It really did happen. And my mind woke me up before I could think about the rest.

After taking in deep breaths, I was able to relax back into Jasper's arms. The safe arms that had held me like this so many times before. He kissed my head as I started to relax.

I thought about the new symbols on my neck and what they meant to me, and my future.

Never again would I allow a man to hurt me. Nor would I feel bad for not being enough.

I was enough, and I would be loved.

I slowly drifted off again not having any further nightmares.

I was enough.

I was strong.

A/N: So...what do ya'll think? Bella doesn't hate Jasper. How could she? He was only trying to help. What a good friend.

I would like to try a little experiment, and if you could help me out, I'd really appreciate it. My story has gotten almost 2,000 hits in the 9 days it's been out which is so awesome, but not very many reviews.

So, if everyone that checks out this chapter could hit the review button for me, even if you want to just say hi, I'd really appreciate it! My reviews make me smile and feel loved!