A/N: Bella's home and is ready to talk with Edward and Jazz about what went down in Cali. Are you ready? I know I am.

Keep in mind that Edward and Jazz only want the best for Bella when you're reading this. Jazz has had to deal with Bella keeping quiet for too many years.

Bella gets into her past a bit more, and it's heavy. There's talk of abuse and rape in this chapter. And if it makes you uncomfortable, I'm sorry, but it is what it is. It's not fun. It's not sweet. It's not lovey dovey. But it's something that many females have gone through and I felt the strong need to acknowledge it. So, no negative comments please...it was hard enough to write as it is!

Thanks to all who reviewed so far. I am pleasantly surprised by how my story is affecting my readers. I've had several personal stories come through that have touched my heart. Thank you for trusting me and sharing!

Keep sharing your love.... it only prompts me to post sooner!

Disclaimer: I own my wedding ring. SM owns all things Twilight.

Chapter 10: Facing The Boys

Shortly after 1pm, our plane touched down in NYC. I slept for most of the flight and was somewhat refreshed when we descended. Rose and Alice seemed just as tired as I was and were ready to get home to their men.

Although it was great to have some quality girl time, we were ready to get back to normal life and to put this weekend behind us.

Well I knew I was.

I was thanking the high heavens it was getting a bit chilly as October rolled in and pulled my sweatshirt on before leaving the plane. I'd taken it off for the flight as the plane was stuffy and uncomfortable, but was quick to put it on now that we would be seeing the guys.

The flight attendant gawked at my bruised neck when she asked what I wanted to drink and I cringed at the glares. I knew what she was looking at, her eyes practically bugging out of her head as they took in the black and blue that covered my flesh. I was actually suprised that she didn't alert any of the other staff to my presence.

With my sweatshirt covering as much as it could, I took a deep breath knowing that what waited for me was not going to be good.

If Edward and Jasper saw all the gory details immediately, we were going to have trouble right here in the middle of the airport with a crowd of people. If I could at least get home first, then no one else would have to be involved. Like airport security for example.

I'd put Rose and Alice through enough hell this weekend, and they didn't need to share in what was to come when Edward and Jasper were ready to get down to business.

As we walked to the baggage claim I took a deep breath knowing what was facing me. My stomach twisted in knots and I felt like I was going to be ill. I saw Edward sitting in a chair, head in his hands, his arms resting on his knees.

I also noticed his crazed hair sticking up all over the place, and the 'Cullen' sweatshirt I loved so much pulled over his muscular chest. He wore a pair of dark jeans and docs, and a small part of me reveled in his appearance and how much I missed him.

That small part was pushed deep down as we got closer and I got a better look of how worn out and tired he looked.

Jasper was on his phone next to Edward and Emmett was reading a magazine.

Cosmo to be exact.

He seemed pretty interested in what he was reading and didn't notice us at first. Emmett reading Cosmo could come in handy later.

As we got closer, I heard Jasper on the phone talking with Angela. Alice had told him about Frank and his lack of attention and I believe Frank was now losing his job. I wasn't usually a complainer, that much was apparent, but when I felt alone and unprotected that was another story. Jasper was in over protective over drive. His hair was disheveled and his face was scrunched up in an angry grin. He was letting her have it.

Poor Angela.

Edward looked, up our eyes meeting. The dark circles under his eyes made him look like he hadn't slept in days.

My heart ached at just the sight of him, knowing that I was the reason for his appearance.

Immediately upon seeing me, Edward stood and walked over to where I had stopped dead in my tracks. My feet apparently were frozen and I wasn't moving like I wanted to. He stood in front of me waiting for me to make the first move.

I dropped my carry-ons and leaned into his chest as he hugged me tightly to his body. I would assume that Rose and Alice were greeting their men in the same fashion, but everything else around me faded away when I was in Edward's arms. His grip was so tight I cringed at how hard he was holding me and my injured back. I'd spent most of the morning before we left cleaning what I could reach of the scrapes. Rose and Alice offered to help, but I wanted to do it on my own.

The less that others had to see of me the better it was. I didn't need the stares of what they thought about my hideous scars.

The pain meds I'd taken this morning had long worn off and I needed something stronger than Tylenol to mask the burning and soreness.

Edward pulled back a bit, a tortured expression spread across his face. He knew that he was holding too tight but I could tell he didn't want to let me go. Instinctively I pulled back as well trying to comprehend his emotions and what they meant.

"I know about your back, B. Don't even try to hide it." He ran soothing circles up my sides relaxing me with his touch. I tried to move myself a bit further away from him but he wrapped his arms around my waist keeping me firmly at his side. "And I talked to Jasper. I know your pattern. Don't you dare try to pull away from me now. I won't let you." Edward kissed my forehead once as I bowed my head into his chest.

I glared at Jasper but he was looking down at his phone, not wanting to make eye contact with me. Every time something had happened like this I wanted to be by myself, have some space until I was ready and Jasper never allowed it.

But I always tried.

And apparently Edward wasn't letting me get away with it either.

I nodded up at him as he kissed me softly on the lips and cupped my cheeks. The only visible bruises were on my neck, which were hidden pretty well by my sweatshirt, but as he kissed me, his hands instinctively went to cup under my ears, which led his eyes to that vicinity, his eyes glaring at the bruises that he could see.

I saw the look of hurt in his eyes but tried to think of something, anything else to not cry. Seeing Edward hurt was the last thing I wanted.

I could see the words on the tip of his tongue, he wanted to ask me what happened, but realized by the look in my eyes that I wasn't having this conversation here and offered to get my luggage from the carousel knowing that the sooner we got out of here, the sooner we'd talk. This was something he was probably looking forward to, I on the other hand, would rather have stayed in the airport a bit longer.

Jasper grabbed me as soon as Edward let go, hugging me tightly. Again I flinched at the initial contact but tried to shrug it off as nothing.

Before Jasper could even speak, I knew what he was going to say. What he always said. This wasn't the first time we'd had this conversation.

"I'm fine Jasper. And no, I don't want to talk about it." His eyes were disapproving egging me on to continue. "But I won't argue with you ever again about James. I won't go on another trip without one of you again. Not ever. Ok? Does that make you happy?" I tried to beat him to the punch line accentuating my words a bit more than necessary so that he knew that I was serious. I'd made mistakes in my life, and not taking one of the guys with me was a big one. One that I was sure not to make again.

Jasper stared into my eyes for several minutes before speaking. He took a deep breath and started as I waited like a child that was being scolded.

"Bell, I'm not happy right now, but that does make it a little better. I should've been there. You should've let me come. I missed you, and am glad that you're home...in one piece." He said as he kissed my temple. "Come on, lets go home and we can talk about what happened over this weekend as I'm sure you are just dying to tell me."

Jasper nudged my shoulder, a small grin forming on his lips. I knew he was upset, hell, I could see it in his eyes, but he was trying to lighten the mood like he always did.

I rolled my eyes and nudged him as we waited for the guys.

The rest of the gang came back luggage in hand a few minutes later. We all piled into Emmett's jeep to go home. Why he had a jeep like that in the city was beyond me. It was the kind that you take off roading, and if I wasn't mistaken, we were in the city and would not be doing anything of the sorts anytime in the near future. Edward lifted me into the back seat as the jeep was high off the ground, Jasper did the same for Alice and Rose pulled herself in the front seat and we were off.

Emmett and Rose were up front talking about her shoot lost in conversation with one another, Alice was telling Jasper about her new purchases. Edward and I were in the back seat; me cuddled tightly to his side. He was quiet for the entire ride home with his arm around me but not making an attempt at further contact or conversation. All I wanted was for him to kiss me, tell me things were fine, but he apparently didn't want to hurt me further, or he was too upset about what happened.

I had no idea what was going through his mind. And I would guess that he was going to bombard me with questions as soon as we were alone since he hadn't said anything yet.

I wasn't scared of Edward physically but rather mentally, as I couldn't predict what was going to happen. We hadn't had a fight yet, and I didn't know how he dealt with things when he was upset. Well actually that's a lie, he breaks things when he's mad. I'm sure he owes Rose a bit of money for the damage he did to their place the other night.

I had no worries that Edward would hurt me, but I knew that he had anger issues and the silence was painful.

Yes, he would bombard me with questions when it was just the two of us. That much I knew just from the silent treatment he was giving me now. Even though I didn't see the point in that with the group of nosy bitches we called our friends and family.

After we brought all of our luggage up to our apartments and Emmett gave me a reassuring hug, he and Rose parted ways, then Alice went back to her apartment not wanting to face the wrath that was mine.

I didn't blame her. It was my mess, and I needed to clean it up.

I made my way into my apartment with two men hot on my trail. I put my stuff down and waited for it all to begin.

I was left alone with Edward and Jasper, who were standing in front of me with their arms crossed as I looked in the fridge for something to eat trying to distract them. I looked up at Jasper and glared at him. I felt the anger I had for James boil in the pit of my stomach. Having Jasper and Edward staring at me like that was making me paranoid and made the anger and the guilt build.

I knew why they were mad. Jasper didn't think I would do anything about it this time, just like every other time, and was ready for a full battle to make me see his side of things. But that wasn't the case this time, and I was tired of being treated like a child. I was finally ready to do something about James.

"What the fuck do you want to me to say, Jasper?" I yelled. I didn't mean to yell. Not like that. But I couldn't control the way I was feeling. I hadn't allowed myself to think much about what had happened and I knew I was going to boil over soon. Both Jasper and Edward jumped at my voice, both probably not expecting me to react like that.

Jasper stepped forward and slammed the fridge door shut. Fuck. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into a hug. I flinched at the contact as my arms and back were killing me, but I wasn't going to push him away. I needed some aspirin and a good nap so I could deal with the shit going on in my head. As much as I wanted his comforting arms around me, he was too angry. It wasn't loving. It wasn't a normal Jasper hug. I pulled back and as soon as I made eye contact with him I regretted it immediatly.

His eyes were furious, tortured.

"Fuck Bell! You made me a promise that the next time something like this happened, because deep down I knew it wasn't over, you'd press charges! And I'm done! I won't hide this shit any longer! I don't care if you don't want to be seen as the victim! I don't give a fuck about anything else other than the fact that you're ok, because I don't want to be at your funeral because you were too fucking stupid to do anything about it! Fuck!" He yelled throwing his hands up over his head and started pacing the floor. This wasn't Jasper. He never acted like this. Sure, he got mad at me for not wanting to turn James in, in the past, but never blew up like this.

"Fine." I said looking down at my feet. I gave up. I threw in the white flag. I was done. The look on his face was too much to handle, and I felt my control slipping. The anger was dying down, my emotions were on the verge of making themselves known. It was the last thing I wanted.

"What?" Jasper looked highly confused. His voice cracked as he stared at me trying to understand what I just said, like it was a foreign language.

But now he was going to make me repeat myself and it was too much to handle. My anger returned because I fucking knew he heard what I said and was making me repeat myself knowing that it would piss me off more than I already was.

"Are you fucking deaf? I said fine! Go do your detective work and get a restraining order!" I screamed at him, not wanting to, but also not able to control what was happening. I had tears in my eyes. Traitor tears. "I can't do this anymore." I sunk down to the floor on my knees and wrapped my arms around myself. "I am so sick and fucking tired of feeling afraid to be by myself, not knowing where James is going to show up next, or what he's going to do. I want to live a normal life!"

Edward who'd been silent through this all, was now kneeling next to me within seconds and wrapped his arms around me. He was careful over my back this time wanting to comfort me. My head fell on his shoulder as I greedily took him in, needing to feel his warmth, his love.

I needed him more than I wanted to admit.

I was feeling bipolar for a few minutes not sure which emotions were which. I was hurt. I was angry. I was sad.

I was mad.

I was mad that I was crying. I was mad that James could ever make me feel like this again. I was mad that I felt like that 17-year-old girl he took advantage of over and over again.

I'd spent thousands of dollars and years in therapy to make me not feel like this. And here I was again.

I pounded my fists on the floor below me trying to release some of the pain. I welcomed the pain that I felt, knowing that if I felt pain, I didn't feel the hurt he caused. It didn't last long, two hands wrapped around my own. Edward grabbed my wrists to stop me from hurting myself and when he saw that I was starting to calm, he released me placing his hand under my chin making me look at him.

His eyes were wet with tears and he was crying.

I made my angel cry.

That was the last thing I wanted to happen.

I was an awful person.

Jasper grabbed my hand and pulled me up harshly, pulling me away from Edward. Edward looked at him confused as did I, but I had no control as he was stronger than me.

He tugged at the hem of my sweatshirt and my hands immediately stopped him and pulled it back into place.

"What. The. Fuck. Jazz?" I said each word with clarity.

I knew what he was doing.

He'd done this all before.

He had to see for himself.

I never knew why, seeing that it only made him angrier when he saw the proof.

"Don't play stupid with me, you know what I'm fucking doing. I need to see Bell. I have to see what the fucker did to you." He was getting angrier by the second. His eyes glared at my sweatshirt. " And I'm taking pictures for the police report that we are filing first thing in the fucking morning."

He went for the hem of my sweatshirt again. Edward didn't say anything about what he was doing. I suppose because he was just as curious.

I fought with his fingers for a few more seconds before I slapped his hand away and pushed him back.

"Fine!" I yelled. I pulled at my sweatshirt and threw it over my head, landing on the floor. I ignored the pain in my arms and kept going. "You want to see? I'll do it myself. I'm not incapable!" I pulled my t-shirt off too, so I was left with only my white sports bra. I felt exposed and embarrassed for what that fucker did to me. "Are you happy now? Are you?" Tears fell down my cheeks as I stared him deep in the eyes not wanting to see Edward's just yet.

Jasper's face turned red, from my side view, I noticed that Edward looked as if he was going to be sick. Both men had wet eyes signifying that tears were to follow.

The bruises around my upper arms were dark blue and purple along with my neck. I knew how bad they looked. I'd stared at them quite a bit in the last few days and had time to adjust to them. I unzipped my jeans and pulled them down below my hips and displayed the bruises over my hipbones. They too were dark purple and blue and fucking painful as all hell.

Every bruise on my body was long and shaped like a finger. Edward reached over Jasper and traced one of the bruises on my hip matching it up to the length of his finger, then pulled back and ran his fingers through his hair unsure of what to do or say.

"Are you happy now?" I asked again knowing that I was on the verge of totally loosing it. I screamed, throwing my hands up in the air, which did nothing for the pain my achy body was feeling. "Are you guys fucking happy now? Oh wait. You haven't seen everything."

I turned around and rolled my bra up so they could see the deep gashes across my back from being thrown up against the building.

For a second Edward looked pissed at my strip act in front of Jasper and glared at him. Jasper put his hand over his shoulder to calm him.

"It's fine, E. Not like I haven't seen this all before." He waved his hand in front of me. That just made Edward angrier. " Chill man. Not like that. I've known the girl forever."

He calmed a little and gave me my shirt back. I slid it on over my head and stood there with my arms around myself.

"Are you guys done with the probing? Can I go unpack or would you like to dwell on my body and its bruises a bit more?" I knew neither of them deserved the bitch act, but I couldn't help it.

I needed to get out of there.

I grabbed a cigarette from Edward as he lit it for me. I'd taken up more and more smoking to release the tension.

Niether of them said anything as I pushed by and to my room. I slammed the door behind me as I slid down the wall.

Now I could cry for real. I was by myself, and there was no one to watch me come undone.

I could hear them talking out there. Jasper was going to call one of our friends Ben from Chicago and see what kind of information he could get on James. Ben was a detective and could get access to his records.

I didn't even think to ask if he had any records.

I knew better than that.

I finished my cigarette quickly, then crawled over to my nightstand where I pulled out a joint lighting it up. I wasn't usually into drugs but I needed to not feel right now. I couldn't. It was too much to bear.

I shakily lit the joint as I began to cry.

Here it was.

I'd been waiting since Saturday morning to just be alone and let myself wallow.

By myself.

I took hit after hit until I started to feel numb. I sat there on the floor next to my bed with my knees pulled into my chest.

Crying.

I was empty.

Jasper protected me from James over the last couple of years as much as he could. I didn't feel afraid because I knew he was always there.

I was now afraid once more. And I hated feeling like this. It wasn't normal.

What if James had gotten me alone? Would I even be hear right now? Would he have raped me?

I cried harder and pulled out another joint lighting it quickly taking pull after pull.

I heard the front door close loudly, then a soft knock on my door. When I didn't answer the knock, the door opened, and Edward walked in and sat down next to me on the floor. He put his arm around my shoulders and leaned his head back on the bed. I handed him the joint as he stared at me curiously for a few seconds before taking a hit and passing it back to me. No questions asked. Well not about what was between my lips anyways.

"B, you have to talk to me. What the hell happened in Cali?" He looked deeply into my eyes. The torture in his only made me cry harder. I leaned my chin against my knee and began to tell him about the book signing.

"I didn't think I'd see him. I mean Cali.'s huge, what are the chances? Then he told me he'd been following me. And when he grabbed me at the club...I did everything I could to get away from him. But he wasn't having it. I don't want to go into details, but he put his hands on me. And he choked me, obviously by the bruises you could tell that much. He told me I'd pay for what I did to him. And I remembered how I paid him in the past. Damn it!" I yelled throwing my hands up in the air, kicking the nightstand. "I felt like that little girl all over again, E!"

"Bella, I know there's more that you haven't told everyone about your past. Let me in. Please. I'm not going anywhere no matter what you tell me, I can promise you that." I chanced a look at his face, which read that his statement was true and sincere.

"Where do you want me to start? " My response came out as nothing more than a whisper. This was it, I was finally going to let the man I loved completely in to my fucked up world once and for all.

"From the beginning." He brushed a piece of hair from my face tucking it behind my ear.

I took a few more hits and leaned my head back against the bed as he held my hand. I took a deep breath and started the conversation I knew I would eventually have to have, but hoped it was in the distant future.

Not right now.

"My dad...he'd just died. He was killed while patrolling this old abandoned factory. Apparently there was some suspicious activity and he was called. He snuck up on some druggie and was shot point blank in the chest. He died at the scene, and I never got to say goodbye. I felt broken and alone. My mom had never been in my life and my dad was all I had for family. Jasper's mom took me in and I lived with her and Jasper for the rest of high school. I needed for my dad to be there, but he wasn't, so I started looking for an alternative. I wanted to feel loved, or something. Lauren, this girl I knew back in high school was invited to a party at the campus in Houston. We decided to go together thinking we were hot shit for being invited. We were only 16." I giggled at the thought.

"The first night I met him, we were sitting around some guys dining room table getting high and drunk playing a game of quarters. He stared at me from across the room smoking a bong. He made conversation with me, told me I was beautiful. He was a gentleman. At first anyway. We stayed in Houston for the weekend, I spent a lot of time just hanging out with James and his roommate. We exchanged numbers and he started calling every night. I couldn't have been happier. This 20 year old was interested in me. Plain old Bella Swan. We started going up to Houston every weekend. Lauren was interested in some other guy and would stay with him while I was with James. He didn't try anything for a few weeks. But then we'd make out, and he'd feel me up. I wasn't a virgin, but this was all new to me, so I'd push his advances away. He was fine with it at first, saying that he was falling in love with me and he'd wait. I believed him. 3 months into our relationship, I was still seeing him every weekend, getting high and partying like no 16 year old should ever do. One Saturday night when I was with him, I was high as fuck when he started taking off my pants. I pushed away from him, I wasn't ready for that part of our relationship. He grabbed my hands and held them up over my head and told me to stop fighting what I knew I wanted. I begged him to stop... but... he was so hammered that he wasn't listening." I involuntarily shivered at the memory. Edward put his arm around my shoulders and rubbed circles comforting me, wanting me to continue.

"He was groping and touching me and pulling all of my clothes off. I tried to stop him, but the more I tried, the harder he held my arms. He finally got what he wanted. It hurt like hell. Then he slammed me up against the wall, threw my clothes at me and told me to get the hell out saying he was tired and didn't want me sleeping in his bed. I went home to Jasper, who by the way was not a fan of James. He questioned me non-stop about what happened to me. My wrists were covered in bruises from him holding too tight and my back was sore. I lied through my teeth and told him I fell because I was so high. I started to fall behind in school, so tired from my weekends with James and emotionally drained from the arguing that we did over the phone on the weekdays. Although I knew that something wasn't right about our relationship, I couldn't help but feel drawn to him, looking for reassurance that my father could no longer give me. The next few months went by like that first weekend. Only I didn't try to pull away as much, as I knew it would only cause me more pain. I gave in, and let him rape me. At the time I didn't think it was rape but I know better now. Most weekends it was only 3 or 4 times. But sometimes when he was in a really bad mood it was more than 6. But he said that he loved me, and I believed him."

I paused to look at Edward, who remained calm even though I was telling him about my most inner secret that I hadn't talked to anyone about, except for Jasper. He continued to rub soothing circles over my shoulder blades and silently told me to continue.

"One weekend, Jasper had enough. He said that he was coming with me, I couldn't stop him. He' been harping on me for months about James and I knew that there was no stopping him. When we got to James's apartment, he was not happy. He was stoned of course, and punched me square in the face basically as soon as I walked in the door, then threw me up against the wall and called me a whore. I tried to explain to him who Jasper was but he'd already decided at that point and wasn't listening. Jasper was pissed. He threw me behind him and attempted to hit James. Jasper had nothing on James, being 17 and lanky compared to James who spent every day in the gym. James beat the shit out of Jasper within a few minutes and threw us out the door. I didn't see James for a long time after that. Jasper was right about him. I was starting to see he was bad news."

B?" Edward spoke, getting up and going over to my desk. He came back and sat down with a copy of my book in hand. "This book is your story, isn't it?"

I nodded not ever having admitted that to someone before. "Fuck." was all he said. He'd read the book. He knew what had happened to me. He knew all my dirty secrets. He finally put two and two together just like I figured he'd someday do.

I started to cry again. I hadn't cried like that in years. I was embarrassed that he knew, but I cried because I was happy that he knew. Finally knew what the hell I'd been going through and why I was so fucked up.

I pulled myself away from him and tried to get up and leave.

Run. Like I always did, but his arms wrapped around me and held me in place.

"Don't do this. I'm not going anywhere. And neither are you." He held me close kissing the side of my cheek.

"It's really fucking hard to talk about, E. I'm having a hard time over here. If you've read my book you know what happened next." I looked in his eyes and watched as a single tear fell to his cheek.

I grabbed the book from the floor and pushed it into his chest. "Start at page 259. Then see if you still want to be here."

The tears flowed freely. I didn't even try to hold them back anymore.

This was it.

The time that I was actually sharing MY story.

Really for the first time as I'd always been sharing 'Janes' story. Or at least that's what everyone thought.

He started to say something and I put my hand out to stop him. "Just read it. Out loud. And then we'll talk." If you're still here, that is.

He took a deep breath and nodded, opening the book to the right page.

Tonight was my 17th birthday. My friends were taking me out to supper at my favorite Italian restaurant. John hadn't left my side since that night when Jimmy hit me in front of him. Although I knew it wasn't the first time that it happened, nor was it was the worst, he couldn't handle it and never let me go anywhere alone. John and I met up with our friends Kate, Tanya, Mitch and Scott for supper and had a great time. We laughed and joked about normal teenage things. I hadn't laughed in so long it felt like a part of me wasn't there anymore. John and I hadn't been out in a long time. It was easier to steer clear of Jimmy if we stayed at home.

As we were saying good night to the rest of the gang in the parking lot of the restaurant, I saw Jimmy standing next to Jasper's car. His arms folded over his chest, hair pulled back into a tight ponytail. His eye bored into my own, and he looked sad. I hadn't talked to him in months, and didn't know what to say. John looked at me and grabbed my hand as we made our way over to the car. I tried to open my door, but Jimmy pushed it shut.

"Jimmy! Please, just leave me alone! It's over! It's been for a long time." Tears streamed down my face. He grabbed my hand and brought it up to his face to kiss.

John growled at him and pulled me back.

"Jane. It's not worth it. Lets just go in and wait 'till he leaves." John whispered in my ear.

"Jane. Please. I'm sorry. And I promise never to hurt you like that again. That wasn't me, and you know it." Jimmy was pleading with me. My stupid 17-year-old self started to break down the barrier I had held for so long. "Please Jane, just take a ride and talk with me."

John tried to tighten the grip on my hand but I pulled it free. My mind was telling me to hear Jimmy out. I stared up into Johns angered eyes when I'd made my decision.

"Don't do this Jane. Don't allow him to do this to you. You're stronger than this." He glared at me pleading with his eyes for me not to even consider Jimmy's request. I was dumb, but I still loved him, or at least I thought I did.

"It's ok, John. Wait for me at home. This won't take very long." I looked at John. He stared at me with sad eyes as I walked towards Jimmy as he led me to his car.

I didn't turn around again, I didn't want to see John's face. I knew it would've looked tortured and I couldn't take that right now. I wanted to hear Jimmy out. Although he hurt me, I still had feelings for him.

Jimmy opened the car door for me and I got in. He slammed it loudly making me jump. I watched as he smirked at John and flicked him off. As he got in the car, he kissed me on the side of the neck and I pushed him off.

"Jimmy, I said I'd talk to you. That's all." I leaned my head against the window and looked at John as we drove away. I started to regret my decision to get in the car at that moment.

Jimmy's hand crept up my thigh and started to make its way under my skirt when I slapped it away. He looked up at me with anger.

"Fucking A, Jane! Loosen up. I missed you and wanna have some fun." He stared back at me with lust filled eyes, not paying any attention to the road.

He leaned in close trying to kiss my lips. I pulled back as my stomach churned at the heavy smell of whiskey on his breath. He was drunk.

I realized I was in trouble.

"Jimmy. I think I need to get going home. I don't feel so well. Can we do this another night?" No, I wasn't going to do this another night, but I needed to get out of this situation. Now.

He looked over at me again and smiled. Then he reached over me to the glove box and pulled out a bottle of Windsor and took a huge shot. I curled myself up into a ball as far away from him as the little car would allow as he sped up out on the country roads. I didn't know where we were going, but I did know that it was dark and there weren't any house for miles.

He stopped the car in the middle of a forested area; shut it off taking another swig from the almost empty bottle. I reached for the door handle to try to make my escape. He caught site of what I was attempting and pushed the locks down.

I was stuck.

He lifted up the center counsel and pulled me harshly into his lap. He began kissing me painfully hard on the lips while his hands worked their way up and under my skirt until he was grasping my bottom.

"Stop Jimmy! I'm not doing this anymore!" I pushed away from his chest trying to get loose. This just upset him more as he pulled on my panties.

"Shut the fuck up Jane. Just take it. I know you want it. You stupid little whore. Living with Johnny boy these days I see, you're such a slut. And my girl doesn't fuck around with other guys." He said, glaring into my eyes.

I pushed away as hard as I could, but I weighed a measly 100 pounds and he was at least double my weight. He pulled my hips towards him harshly from under my skirt. "Jimmy, you're hurting me! Please stop!"

"Are you gonna beg now Janie? Do you beg John like this? Do you beg him when he fucks you like the slut you are?" He ripped off my panties pulling the shreds from underneath me and throwing the discards in the back seat.

"I'm not f-fucking anybody Jimmy. I just don't want to do this. I'm not yours anymore and I'm not a slut!" I slapped him in the face.

His angry eyes bored into mine and I started to tremble.

He released my hips and brought his hand up to cup my cheek. He moved his hand down around my throat and began choking me.

I couldn't breathe.

I was gasping for breath and was starting to get light headed in a matter of seconds.

"You are mine, Janie. You are mine. And you always will be. You don't belong to anyone else but me!" He tightened his hold on my neck his eyes boring into my own. "Say it Janie. Say that I own you. You little bitch!"

"You own me!" I whispered out. He released his hold on my neck as I took a deep breath coughing as the air burned my lungs. He didn't give me anytime to recover grabbing the back of my head pulling it towards his own. He kissed me hard. He was trying to pry my mouth open to get access but I denied him scared of what he was doing to me. He bit down on my bottom lip making me scream out in pain. The blood was seeping into my mouth and I became nauseated.

"Ungh... Janie. Listening to you scream like that turns me on. I love to listen to you scream." He groaned in my mouth.

I was shaking I'd been crying so hard. I knew what was happening and what was about to happen and I couldn't do anything about it. The sooner I let him, the sooner he'd let me go. I stopped trying and sat there. With my skirt up above my waist leaving my most sensitive areas exposed against his engorged self.

"B...." I don't have to read this. I... don't know if I can continue." Edward looked at me eyes were completely distraught. He looked as if he was going to be ill any second.

"You wanted to know so keep going." I said coldly. He stared at me for a minute, nodded his head and continued on.

Jimmy began rubbing himself on me, chaffing me in the process from his jeans that were still in place. He continued kissing my mouth, my neck and down my chest. He removed his hands from behind my head, grabbing my breasts twisting my nipples through my shirt. I screeched out in pain, as he just laughed and twisted harder. The tears streamed down my face as I tried to close my eyes and pray for a miracle.

But my miracle wasn't coming today.

I wasn't worth a miracle.

Jimmy ran his hands up my breast then latched them onto the collar of my blouse ripping it straight down the middle until it was in shreds. He threw the remains to the side and fondled me through my bra, which he ripped off of me a minute later. He stared at my bare chest and took my left nipple in his mouth sucking and nibbling on it until it bleed.

He slapped me across the face for bleeding, like I could help what happened. He moved his grimy hands up and down my chest before going for my skirt, which was already up my waist. He reached for it and raised it over my head.

He stared at me. Cold and naked, bruised and battered.

Jimmy grabbed a hold of my waist and began rocking me into himself.

He pulled me off of him and threw me to the back seat. I landed with a loud thud, trying not to scream in pain. I lay there not knowing what to do. I couldn't do anything. It was a two-door car and I couldn't make it out. I lay there while he threw his shirt off and began to unbuckle his pants. He crawled into the back seat with me and pulled me to kneel down on the floor. He pushed my head into his crotch and when I didn't open my mouth, he punched me in the eye. My eye puffed up within minutes and I couldn't see straight, my vision blurry. He pulled at my hair ripping it from my scalp.

"If you know what's good for you Jane, you'll do as I say." He said as he pushed my head back into his lap.

"You don't have to read the next few paragraphs. I don't think I can stomach it." I said clenching my arms around my waist. I pointed to where I wanted him to continue.

I didn't make eye contact with Edward but by the sounds of the sniffles and his cracking voice, he couldn't take much more either.

I knew the feeling.

As soon as he pulled out, he pushed me to the side where I slammed into the window. I pulled my knees to my chin trying to cover my bruised and bloody body. Blood splattered across his seat from the harshness he took on me during his moment of passion. I sat their crying trying not to make a sound so he'd leave me alone for a second. He pulled his pants back up and found his shirt. Jimmy glared at my naked form then pulled himself to the front seat, opened the door and got out. He stood at the door and moved the front seat forward staring at me.

"Get the fuck out of my car, you dirty whore! You got blood all over the fucking place!" I reached for my skirt and torn shirt before he pulled me from the car and threw me to the cold ground. He looked at me for a second before he started laughing then got in and drove away. I quickly pulled my skirt on and covered my chest as much as possible with my torn shirt.

I didn't even have shoes.

I stood there for a moment trying to take in my surroundings. My adrenaline kicked in and as bad as my body hurt, I knew I needed to get out of there fast. I had an idea of where I was and began to run. I ran as fast as my body would take me, afraid that he'd come back. I ran through the forest as I didn't think he could find me there. When I got tired of running I walked as fast as I could. My feet were bloody and scratched from the lack of shoes. I kept walking. I don't know how much time had gone by or how far I'd gone, but finally I saw the outskirts of town, houses and lights. I felt embarrassed for my appearance and stayed off the main roads while I made my way to John's.

I walked up towards the house where I saw John sitting on the porch with his head between his knees. He looked like he saw a ghost when his eyes landed on me. I stopped on the lawn and collapsed to my knees. My feet had dragged me all the way here and I couldn't move any further. John ran for me and caught me in his arms.

I was shaking so hard I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. I was cold and hurt. My throat burned, my body ached.

I had my arms so tightly wrapped around my stomach that it was hard to breathe.

I was home.

I was safe.

I was with John.

He was crying taking in my appearance. The sadness turned to anger as he stood us up. I couldn't stand, too bruised and tired that my feet wouldn't take it. He caught me in his arms and lifted me bridal style holding me with all his strength.

"I told you Janie! Why didn't you listen to me? You could've died tonight!" He yelled, "We're going to the hospital to get you checked out." He started towards the house, and I pushed against his chest to stop.

"NO! We can't! I can't! I can't let anyone know! I'm so embarrassed John. I can't. Please I'm begging you. I can't. I'm fine. I'm fine!" I screamed the last part.

"You're not fucking fine Janie! Look at you. Do you even know what you look like? For fucks sake! He nearly beat you to death. It's four in the fucking morning and you walked here from where? Where did he leave you?" He was crying again, and I couldn't help myself. I sobbed with him.

"Out in the fucking country. I've been walking for hours. I... I was such a fool, John. I was such a fucking fool. Please. You can't tell anyone about this. We have to keep this a secret."

He ran his finger over my swollen eye, then my lip. " Jane, there's no way to keep this a secret. Do you even know what you look like?" He took off his coat and slipped it over me. I was grateful for the warmth and the cover up.

"What am I gonna do?" I cried into my hands.

"WE are going to get out of here. I have some money saved up. We can find a hotel. Stay there until you're face is at least healed." I nodded in agreement.

He took me over to his car and set me inside. I locked the doors behind him as he told me he was going to put a bag of clothes together for each of us and grab some money. He came back a few minutes later with a huge duffel bag and a blanket for me. He left a note for his mom who was working an over night at the hospital and we were off.

For the next month we stayed in a small motel in New Mexico. I didn't leave the room, not once. John left to get us food a few times a week, otherwise never left my side. He held me and comforted me while my body healed.

Emotionally I was a wreck, but physically I began to heal.

I grabbed the book from him and closed it. "I think that's enough. Jasper was in so much trouble when we got back. His Mama grounded him forever. But he did it for me. He was, and is the best friend I could ever ask for." I said, trying to not look at the green eyes that I knew were staring at me.

Edward pulled me into his lap and held onto me tightly. I groaned as his grip was too tight against my bruises and he let up slightly. "I'm so sorry, B. I'm so fucking sorry that he hurt you like that. I wish I could take all of your pain away baby." Tears streamed down his cheeks.

I rubbed the side of his cheek comforting him like he did for me. "I know E. I know. But it was a long time ago. I went to counseling for many years to know that it wasn't my fault and to not blame myself. I'm stronger today than I've been. Seeing James in California definitely triggered my emotions though, and even though I'm stronger, I'm not stupid. I'd never fall for his shit again. I won't ever fall for his shit again."

Edward kissed me on the lips as we leaned our foreheads together. "B, thank you for sharing your past with me. I can't even imagine how hard that was for you. I bet your writing has really been a good release for you."

"Yes it's been my form of healing. But like I said, I'm stronger now, and don't feel as though I need to heal anymore. Well until this weekend happened. But I don't look at it as a step back. I will move forward, because this, " I motioned between us. "us, is too important to me. I'm willing to work on us if... that is, if you are."

"B, I know this is really shitty timing and all. And please don't think I'm saying this because of what happened." He stared into my eyes. "B, I love you. I fucking love you and have since the first time I saw you in the bar. I fucking love everything about you, and I'm not going anywhere."

I wrapped my arms around his neck as he nuzzled into my chest. "I fucking love you too, E. I mean I love you. I wanted to tell you for so long now, but didn't want to rush things. I fucking love you baby."

I kissed him hard on the lips as he kissed me back. His hands made their way across my body, letting me feel the love I'd been missing, not feeling any of the pain from my sore body, when Jasper walked in and lay down on my bed behind us. Bad fucking time Jazz. Shoo! Go find Allie and WELCOME her home.

"Don't let me interrupt anything." We kept kissing, ignoring Jasper, enjoying our moment together. "Ok, I didn't mean that so literally. Edward if you could stop mauling Bell for a minute so I don't vomit on the two of you?"

We released each other from the chokehold we were in and looked back at Jasper, who was laying on his side staring at us with a smirk on his face.

"Bell, can I talk to you for a minute?" Jasper asked, and I knew he meant alone.

Edward stared at me for assurance that I was ok. I nodded and he lifted me off his lap, stood us up and kissed me on the forehead. He looked at Jasper before walking out of my bedroom and shutting the door.

A/N: So the truth is out there. Edward was a trooper to sit through it and realize it was Bella in her book. The next chapter is the second part of 'the talk' with Edward and Jasper, and it gets heated... stay tuned to find out.

Also, I'm not stupid, and I know that you need to be at least 18 to rent a hotel room, but for the sake of the story, and rebels with fake I.D.'s, Jasper was able to get a room for him and B at the ripe old age of 17.

Edward's POV is next because I'm sure you're all dying to find out what's going on in that sexy mind of his after finding out so much about his Love.

Now...push the Review button and say hello!