A/N: WOW. Can I just say that I love my reviewers! Holy Hell, the last chapter received double the reviews than any of my previous one's. THANK YOU!!! It seriously made my day to know that so many people came out of hiding and stopped by to say hi.
I won't write anymore up here, because I know exactly what you are waiting to do…. find out how Jasper is, so if you've read this far I would be amazed.
More at the bottom.
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: SM is awesome, and owns all things Twilight. I own the snow on my front lawn that fell last night…. ungh!
Chapter 17: It's So Hard To Say Goodbye
BPOV
"Where's Jasper?" I whispered again feeling as if the wind had been knocked out of me, uncertain what was being kept from me.
No one was answering me; Edward was holding my body upright as my knees gave out, giving Emmett a death glare looking for answers.
My mind felt foggy as I waited for someone to say something.
Anything.
Emmett was still holding my hands in his, gripping them tighter, probably because he seen me go pale in anticipation of what he was about to say.
"Jasper's fine honey." Emmett said the three words I had been silently praying for. I let out a deep sigh of relief so thankful that he was ok, but thought to myself that if Jasper was fine, then what else could possibly have happened for both Emmett and Rose to be so torn up?
"If Jasper's fine, then what the fuck is going on? Why are you both crying?" I heard myself shouting but it sounded muffled as the unknown scared me shitless.
"Bella, it's…" Emmett's scratchy voice was cut off as he looked away.
I heard the front door chime, and Jasper walked in trailed by Alice. Both their eyes were just as blood shot as Emmett and Rose. Oh thank God he's all right. I have no clue what I would do without Jasper in my life. I wanted to run to him, leap into his arms and hold him knowing that he was fine, but my feet weren't listening to the rest of my body and I stood there frozen.
I stood there unable to move, looking at my best friend in the entire world as he wiped his eyes. I wanted to call out to him, say something, but my entire body was paralyzed with fear of why he looked so distraught.
Jasper stopped in front of me, staring in my eyes, looking for something. I didn't know what he was looking for, or what I could give him, but he needed me, and I was trying to make my body cooperate so that I could be there for him.
I felt hot tears fall down my cheeks, looking in my best friends eyes that looked so empty, so lost. Emmett released my hands and stepped back while Jasper reached out for me as he stepped closer.
I willingly fell into his chest reveling in the warmth his form had always provided me. He hugged me tight for a moment before pushing me back, holding me at arms length staring at me again.
"Jasper? What the fuck is going on? I'm not going to ask again." It came out harsher than I intended but was desperate for some damn answers already.
Edward was standing behind me with his hands on my shoulders rubbing up and down my arms trying to comfort me. From the look on his face, he knew nothing and was just as anxious as I was.
A tear fell down Jasper's cheek and I quickly wiped my fingers across his face to catch it.
Jasper was crying.
Jasper never cried.
"Bell. It's Mama." He squeaked. I sunk back into Edward, bracing myself for what he was about to say. "Mama...she...she had an accident... and...." Jasper's face fell as he took a deep breath trying to steady himself. No! She was the last bit of family that I had, the only family Jasper knew. "She didn't make it Bells." His tears came freely now as he grabbed my hands tighter needing me to comfort him as much as I needed him.
I felt myself fall into Edward's chest as he held my limp body up. He wrapped his arms around my waist to comfort me, as I stood there paralyzed in shock. I looked at the grief stricken Jasper who had just lost his mom.
His Mama.
My Mama.
This wasn't happening. It couldn't be.
I refused to think that anything bad could ever happen to her.
"No! We just saw her a few weeks ago. She was fine." Jasper tightened his grip on my hands as I yelled and I tried pushing him away. This only made him hold me to him harder, which underneath it all, I needed. "She was fine Jazz! She was fine!" My face was hot with tears, as I didn't try to hold them back any longer.
The thought of Mama no longer being with us, here on this earth was something I didn't even want to try and fathom. We had just seen her last week. She bullshitted with us like old times, and we cooked together, and she met Edward and Alice, and....this just couldn't be happening!
"She was driving to the grocery store after her shift at the hospital and was hit head dead on by a drunk driver just a few hours ago." Jasper grasped my hands harder trying to get my attention back to his face. "In fucking daylight, she was hit in fucking daylight by a drunk driver!" Jasper's voice shook as he told me what happened to Mama. "She was pronounced dead at the scene. I just got the call." Jasper's shoulders fell as he shook with tortured cries; he looked as if he was going to collapse.
I pushed myself into his chest and clung to him as he wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug. I heard Alice and Rose in the background sniffling but tried to put all my concentration on my best friend who was mourning the loss of his Mama.
In the little time they had known Mama Whitlock, Rose and Alice grew to love her, because that was just the kind of person she was. She was loving and kind, considerate and put everyone else's needs over her own.
She was the only mother I ever knew. And now, she was gone.
Edward and Emmett comforted Alice and Rose while Jasper and I held each other, knowing that we were the only one's for one another that could be the comfort that was needed.
"I'm so sorry Jasper." I clung to him harder as he rubbed my back. "I'm sorry sweetie. Your Mama was the best and she loved you so much. She was the best Jazz." I cried into his chest harder thinking about how much I loved her, how much Jazz loved his Mama.
"She was your Mama too, Bell." His voice cracked again as he kissed my forehead. "She always thought of you like a daughter. It was always the three of us. Our family." He stopped, trying to control his voice. "And now she's gone. My Mama, she's gone."
If it was possible, the tears came even harder with the realization of her being gone.
Mama was gone.
My Mama was gone.
My family, the only family I had left was gone.
It was just Jasper and I now.
"She was my Mama. I always thought of her that way. I loved her so much, Jazz." I whispered still clinging to him for dear life.
"It's just you and me now, Bell. I always thought it was. Now we're all that's left of our family." Jasper's voice gave out as he finished speaking, letting his forehead fall to my shoulder.
Jasper and I held each other as we slid to the floor, to our knees still holding one another as if we'd suffocate without the other. We both had to come to terms with Mama and the family that was now gone.
"Your family's here, in this room." Alice spoke up in a weak voice. She bent down, and wrapped her arms around both of us as she spoke. "We're your family too. And we aren't going anywhere."
"Alice is right. We're your family too. We love you both so much." Rose wrapped her arms around our huddle, followed by Emmett and Edward.
We sat there like that for a long while, mourning for Mama Whitlock. No words needed to be spoken. It was better to just let things be the way they were.
We needed time to let it set in that she was really gone.
Jasper and I walked home together while the rest of the guys closed up shop. We lay in his bed together for the rest of the night, holding one another as we both broke down over and over. Kleenex box after Kleenex box was thrown to the floor, and I secretly wondered if we should by stock in the company.
Alice and Edward didn't bother us at all, knowing that we needed this time together, just the two of us. And although they didn't come in Jasper's bedroom, there was always shadows walking across the closed door, and I assumed that the two of them had taken up their positions on the other side.
We held each other, letting one another cry into the other when they needed too. We told stories of our child hood and cried some more.
Mama Whitlock was the best, and I would remember all the great things about her. The smell of biscuits and gravy in the morning, the way her southern drawl came out when she was drunk, much like Jasper, and the way she took me in when I had no family to call my own. I would remember how she let us go after high school with no questions asked, because she knew that it was what was best for us. I knew how much it killed her to see us go, but she did it, not a selfish bone in her body, because it was the best decision for her children.
I can still remember the 'talk' she gave me when I was getting boobs and my period. Charlie was too uncomfortable talking about that shit and shipped me off to the Whitlock's whenever I had questions. Mama said that we would learn together what all this 'girly shit' was and never made me feel embarrassed about it. I laugh now, thinking of what a service she did for Charlie during that time in my life.
Jasper laughed about the way he would 'get it' for stupid shit he did back in the day, being chased around the house with Mama running behind him with a belt. But in all honesty, for the little shit he was he probably deserved it every time. Mama would never have intentionally hurt him. She loved him too much.
We laughed at the memories, good and bad, letting ourselves fall into peace with where Mama now was.
Eventually we were all cried out and fell asleep. Jasper and I had slept together so many nights, that it was just comforting to be back in his arms. There were no romantic feelings, those were for the two people on the other side of the door, but we were family, family that was always there for one another, especially in the most tragic of situations.
Alice had arranged a flight home for us so we could work on funeral arrangements and get the house ready to sell. Apparently Mama had put both Jasper and I in her Will, and I would be able to help him with the difficult decisions of closing out her affairs. I knew Jasper and I would need to make these decisions together, it would be too hard alone.
Alice and Rose were amazing. While were sleeping, they packed our suitcases and had everything ready to go when we got up. I gave them each a hug for all that they did before we left, thanking them both for making this process just a little easier on us.
The next morning we were on a flight back to Texas. Jasper and I went by ourselves knowing that this was a time that it needed to just be the two of us. Everyone understood that we needed this time together and would be joining us in a few days for the funeral.
I can't even say how amazing Edward was with letting me go. He knew I would be safe with Jasper, and also that I needed this time alone with my brother to take care of the arrangements. When he and Alice dropped us off at the airport, you could tell they didn't want to let us go alone, but did so knowing that it was just something that we needed to do.
Just the two of us.
I knew it was going to be a rough few days, and without Edward at my side, it was only going to get harder, but I knew what needed to be done. As I kissed him goodbye, I took a deep look at his face, trying to burn it in my memory so that it was there for when I needed him.
Everything became real when our rental car pulled up to the white Victoria that we called home for so long. Even though I didn't move in until I was 16 I had spent my whole childhood at that house growing up, it was home. We sat in the car and wept some more, both of us thinking back to the memories that house held. When we were all cried out we made our way inside as Jasper took the key from under the mat and opened the door. The memories of Mama were brought back immediately and we sat in the entryway with the door wide open crying again, holding each other until we were ready to continue on.
The next few days were some of the most difficult I had ever had to face. We met with the director and arranged the funeral, the flowers, the burial sight, the head stone and the food for afterwards. All to celebrate the life of Mama.
We met with the lawyer and signed off on the will and closed out Mama's personal affairs, and I watched as Jasper dealt with the fact that he was indeed closing out his Mama's life.
The house was left in both of our names and would be going on the market by the end of the week. We thought about keeping the house and having it to come back to, but realized that closing out this chapter in our lives made the most sense.
There was nothing left in Texas for us, and it just seemed like the most productive idea for us to move forward with our own lives.
Jasper and I worked night and day on getting the house cleaned up and ready for sale. Mama was a simple countrywoman, and didn't have a whole lot for possessions, so cleaning out and packing up her house wasn't such a chore. Jasper wanted to get it all done and over with saying it was like a band-aid, rip it off and get it over with.
He wanted to be in and out of Texas in as little amount of time as possible, saying that it would be easier for us both to move on and get back home to Alice and Edward. I knew that he was right. We would still be together in the city, which was home now. And we had our make shift family that was waiting for us.
Cleaning out my old room was emotional. I found myself on the floor several times crying over the thoughts of my youth and growing up. Each time Jasper joined me and we mourned together. The same routine followed when we went through his room, and from there on, we decided to go through every room together.
I know it sounds lame, but I took pictures of each and every room of the house so that we would always have it in our memories. I wanted to be able to show our future families something, anything of our pasts because at this point there wasn't much to show of my 26 years.
With each of our moves, I took less and less of my past with me, wanting to forget about James and Jake, and in return, left some of my most prized memento's to get lost in the shuffle.
We decided to take most of Mama's things to the Good Will and donate them. She would have wanted it that way, knowing that someone else could get use out of her possessions. We packed up a few boxes of mementos we wanted to keep and shipped them back to New York where Edward was waiting for them.
We had now been here for four days and I was home sick for Edward. We had talked several times a day, but it wasn't enough. I was so dependant on him and needed him with every bone in my body in the worst possible way. He was my support system, along with Jasper.
He was my life.
Jasper spent a lot of his free time on the phone with Alice and slowly his smile that I knew and loved started to show itself again. I was glad that he found her, just as I found Edward. We had been each other's lives for so long that love was looking like it just wasn't in the cards for the two of us. To watch Jasper and Alice together made me feel like the proud sister I was to him. They belonged together just as Edward and I did. And I had no doubt in my mind, that we would stay close.
Kind of hard not to, being that Edward and Alice were siblings.
Today Edward, Alice, Rose and Emmett were flying in. I paced all morning thinking of seeing my Angel again and wanted nothing more than to be in his arms. I wanted to feel him, taking in his scent, and be enveloped in the love and comfort only he could provide.
The funeral didn't start until 7pm, so after they got in, we would have a few hours to get ready and kick back. I wanted nothing more than to spend a little alone time with Edward before the funeral so that he could help me prepare myself for the long night ahead.
Their flight landed at 1pm, I had been awake since 5am, waiting, anticipating the arrival of everyone. Well, mostly Edward, but I really did miss the entire gang as well.
As we waited in the airport, I grew more anxious, picking out every bronze haired guy that walked through the terminal thinking it was my Edward. I was pacing, along with Jasper, chewing my nails, and running my hands through my hair.
I guess I kinda picked that habit up from Edward.
Alice was Jasper's Edward, as funny as that sounds it was true. The little pixie could calm him down in a heartbeat. And even though Jasper and I had a solid bond, I wasn't Alice, nor did I need to be. I had my place in his life as his best friend. Alice was his queen and he put her right where she belonged.
I watched for their flight, making sure that it was still on time. It was. At 1:05 pm, after looking at my watch for the hundredth time, my Angel came through the gait.
His hair was disheveled as usual, and I couldn't help but stare his body up and down, taking in his worn in blue jeans that hung low on his waist, and his gray t-shirt that was tight on his muscular arms. His eyes had bags under them, and he looked like he hadn't slept well if at all. I knew how he felt. I was so used to sleeping with him night after night, that I hadn't really slept since we left home.
While I was completing my ogling of his body, his eyes met mine. His piercing green orbs bored into my eyes and a huge grin played along his lips. I couldn't help but smile back. Tears fell from my eyes with out permission needing to feel him, like I the air I breathed.
I ran to Edward as he dropped his carryon, opening his arms for me to jump into. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he enveloped me into the warmest hug I had ever had. I vaguely remember seeing Alice and Jasper embrace the same way and Emmett and Rose walk past us giving me a pat on the shoulder and going over to claim everyone's bags.
Edward held me tight to his chest, rubbing my back as he moaned at our contact. "I missed you so much E. So fucking much." I said as I peppered his neck and chest in kisses before reaching his lips.
Ungh....those lips. I missed those lips.
He kissed me back then held me to his chest for a moment as we took each other in. I looked up to see he had tears in his eyes, much like my own. "I missed you too, baby. You can't leave me like that again. Ever. I understand why you had to go, but next time I'm going with you. I know I sound like a fucking pansy right now, but I need you too damn much and I felt empty without you." He stared deeply into my eyes.
"I know how you feel." I rubbed my fingers over the bags under his eyes. "You look just like I feel. Next time you're going with me." I said as I kissed him again, letting my lips linger on his.
I cupped his face in my hands and kissed him long and hard wanting him to feel just what he did to me. "I love you, so fucking much B." He said returning the kiss, deepening it as his tongue found entrance in my waiting mouth. I pulled back after a few seconds, realizing we were still in the airport and wouldn't be able to do anything here with so many people around.
"I love you too, my Angel. So much." I tightened my hold around his neck letting my body get reacquainted with his.
He finally brought me back to my feet again and we joined the group. I hugged Alice, Rose and Emmett as we caught up with each other for a few minutes waiting for the last of the bags.
Edward's arm stayed in place the entire time we waited needing the contact between us as much as I did. His hand rubbed up and down my side and I wanted nothing more to just feel him, but this was not the place or the time. And there was the piercing to take into consideration as well, but at this point, I was fine with a little pain, if it mean feeling Edward again. It had been far to long.
We got everyone's luggage and made our way to the Jeep we had rented and squished everyone in.
I sat on Edward's lap so there was enough room as it wasn't nearly as big as Emmett's. I felt myself clinging to him for dear life never wanting to let him go again. He didn't seem to mind, holding me to him just as tight.
Edward continued to pepper me with kisses along my cheek and neck and down my collarbone. I know that Emmett and Rose were about to vomit with the PDA, but we couldn't help ourselves, it had been too long apart. Alice and Jasper were similar to us; only Jasper was trying to control himself so he didn't drive us into the ditch.
I was just thankful it wasn't Edward driving. I don't think I would have had the restraint to not touch him.
"I'm fucking starving Bella Barbie. We need to eat." Emmett said with a grin as he rubbed his stomach.
"Always thinking of your stomach Emm." I said as I laughed at him and shook my head.
"I'm hungry too." Alice said from the front seat looking back at the four of us.
It was decided that we were all hungry and I knew the perfect place to stop. 'The Dandy'. They used to have the best bar burgers and I had been craving one since we returned a few days ago.
We made our way in the small bar and found a table, placed our orders and got a round of drinks. The guys caught us up on what we had missed in New York, which hadn't been much. Business was steady, lots of regulars and a few tramp stamps that Edward bitched about. He still hated doing them, and I laughed every time he shared the newest story. The store was closed for the weekend while we all attended the funeral.
We were now on our second round of drinks when I spotted a familiar face from the other side of the bar. His dirty blonde hair and dimples I would recognize anywhere. I cringed at the sight I was taking in.
"Jazz. Do you see who's at the bar?" I asked, leaning in towards him not wanting to make a scene. My body tingled thinking of my past because of course we would have to run into him here, today of all days. Just my damn luck!
Jasper looked around, as did the rest of the guys trying to figure out whom I was talking about. I knew the moment that Jasper spotted him. His eyes bugged out of his head, and he whispered 'mother fucker' under his breath.
"What's Mike doing here?" I asked feeling a huge knot in my throat forming.
Jasper got up from the table. "I don't know, but I'm going to go and find out." He was pissed and this was not the time for him to be dealing with this shit.
I grabbed his arm and pulled him back. "No Jazz. Let it be. He doesn't even know we're here. Let it go." I said staring into his eyes waiting for him to calm down.
He nodded in agreement and loosened his stance as he sat back down. Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and leaned into my side.
"B. What's going on? Who's Mike?" He asked with an angered glare. Another guy he didn't need to know about, but since we weren't keeping secrets anymore on this shit, I guess it was bound to come out.
"Mike, is/was James's best friend. I haven't seen him in years." I said looking down at my drink. Everyone was now staring at me and waiting for answers. I didn't even know that Mike was still around here.
Jasper seen how uncomfortable I was, and cut in. "Mike isn't a good guy. He's a piece of shit just like James. He knew what James was doing to Bella, and never said a damn word; just let that fucker do with her what he wanted too. He would just stand by and watch." Jasper cringed as he took a long pull from his beer.
He began to tense again thinking about the things I had told him. And even he didn't know everything.
There were things I didn't tell anyone.
Not even in my book.
Edward tightened his grip on me and kissed my cheek, staring Mike down who still didn't seem to notice us. It was pretty hard not too in a small town like this where everyone knows each other, but then again he did smoke pot all those years and probably had no brain cells left.
Stupid fucker!
Our food came and we ate in silence. We worked our way through round 3 and 4 of drinks and talked about Christmas, which would be at the Cullen's. Alice was going into detail about what we were going to wear and was trying to stage a shopping trip, but I wasn't even recovered from the last one she dragged me on, and so was not ready for the next one.
Emmett was trying to give me shit about my sex life once again when I felt Edward tense up and put his arm over my shoulder pulling me into his side.
"Well if it isn't Isabella Swan." I heard Mike's menacing voice before looking up. He was laughing, the fucking asshat. "Oh, and Jasper Whitlock. Well I'll be damned boy! You finally filled out a little!" He was drunk too. Great.
"Fuck off Mike." Jasper said as he took a drink of his beer not making eye contact with him.
Mike put his hands up in the air and retreated a step back. "Whoa! Calm down Whitlock. What's got your panties in a bunch? Can't I come over and visit with my friends who I haven't seen in fucking ever?" He glared at me, looking my body up and down like I was a piece of meat.
I felt Edward tense behind me and let out a low growl. God that made me wet between the legs. "My my, Isabella. You sure have grown up nicely, haven't you?"
"I believe my friend told you to fuck off, bro. So, fuck off and get lost." Edward said from beside me as he motioned with his hands for Mike to be on his way. Emmett began laughing and Rose did a little hmf.
Mike and Edward stared one another down, and I waited for the fight to start. I again felt like I did with James. Defensive of my friends and Edward, not wanting anyone to get hurt, especially right before the funeral. But I reminded myself that I wasn't the little 17 year old he remembered. And Edward could hold his own.
That much was apparent.
"What do you want Mike? We were never friends, nor will we ever be. So go." I said shooing him with my hands.
Mike took a step closer. "Oh Isabella. Come on. I remember we were friends. Good friends." He said staring at me provocatively. I was about to loose my supper, and damn-it, I was looking forward to my bar burger!
Jasper stood in front of me blocking Mike. "Leave Mike. I don't have any patience for you right now, so back the fuck off."
Mike laughed again. He thought this was funny. "Oh Whitlock, you're just mad that you didn't get in on the action." He smirked at me as I vomited in my mouth. "From the looks of it, you still aren't getting in on the action. That's too bad. That one there's a fire pistol."
Edward had enough and slammed his fists down on the table. He pushed away from his seat, sliding the chair backwards. Emmett grabbed my hand and pulled me back behind him as Edward stepped forward and got in Mike's face. He pushed him in the chest causing Mike to take a step back but not fall. He was still a burley fucker.
"I believe my friends asked you to fuck off and leave, but if you don't want to listen to them, I can make you." The cocky grin that I loved so much came out to play and I wasn't scared for my boys, I was scared for Mike.
And I was more than a little turned on watching Edward and his shit-eating grin as he was so hot and sexy when he turned into Fightward.
I was feeling like his personal cheerleader and was ready to yell, 'Go team go!'
There weren't very many people in the bar, and the bartender turned his back to us and the fight that was quickly getting out of hand.
"I would assume you're with Isabella now? Is that right shithead?" Mike glared at Edward and continued on with that smile that would soon be knocked off his face. "I bet she's good in bed. No wait. From what I've seen she is good in bed. Fucking hot little thing."
I felt my stomach churn. I looked down at my beer bottle so that I didn't have to face my friends and Edward. This is not what I wanted them to hear right now. Emmett made his way towards Mike. He grabbed him by the arm and pressed firmly, taking his hand and twisting it backwards. Emmett got up real close and smiled as Mike cried out in pain.
"Watch your mouth son. You don't know whom you're talking about. And from the looks of it, you're a little outnumbered, so I would back. The. Fuck. Off. NOW!" Emmett let go of his wrist and Mike fell to the floor.
I watched as Edward threw a large bill on the table for our tab and grabbed my hand and led us towards the exit. Emmett grabbed Rose and Jasper grabbed Alice and we made our way out of the bar as Mike lay on the floor in pain.
As soon as we got in the jeep, everyone went quiet and I knew the questions were coming. Edward held me in his lap, with his arms wrapped around me and kissed my shoulder.
"I wouldn't normally ask this in front of everyone, but they're going to find out anyways seeing that these 4 are fucking gossips. What the fuck was he talking about B?" Edward whispered the next part in my ear. "I thought you said there was only three?"
I took a deep breath before looking around. Everyone's eyes were on me, except for Jasper who was driving. I guess they needed to know now before this got even more out of hand.
"Mike was there sometimes when James.... and I...ugh! This is so embarrassing." I cradled my head in my hands. My face was hot, and I knew it was beat red.
I looked to Edward who nodded for me to continue, anxious to know where I was going with this.
"If I pulled away, or didn't do what James wanted.... he would.... make me pay. He would invite Mike over to watch...us.... and..... join in." I closed my eyes not wanting to see everyone's stares. Edward rubbed my back comforting while he took in what I was saying.
The jeep came to a sudden stop and I flew forward into the seat in front of me.
"What the hell are you talking about Bell?" Jasper didn't know about this.
Fuck.
"He never made me have sex with Mike.... but I...he.... made me give Mike head...while he fucked me." There I said it, and it was out there and I really felt the need to get out and empty my stomach.
Jasper hit the steering wheel as Alice grabbed his arm to calm him down. "Fucking Hell Bell. Is there anything else you haven't told me? Cause I don't know how much more I can fucking handle finding out!"
"Its ok, love." Edward whispered in my ear as he kissed my neck. "I don't think any different of you. It wasn't your choice. J, you got to calm down bro." Edward was glaring at Jasper.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you Jazz. But did you really want to know? Did you really want to know what other fucked up shit was going on when I was gone every weekend? Did you want to know that any time I tried to say no or try to defend myself I was punished even more?" I was crying now as was Rose and Alice. Emmett just sat there clenching his fists.
"Christ Bell." Jasper hit his head against the seat before pulling the jeep back on the road. "I should go back there and beat the shit out of the little fucker."
"That makes two of us." I heard Edward mumble.
"Three of us." I looked up to see Emmett's hard glare. "What?"
I shook my head and looked back down, trying to get the painful memories to leave my mind.
"It's over and done with. Can we not go there? I think we have enough going on for this week already, don't you all agree?"
Everyone nodded and we made our way back to the house in silence. Everyone let what I just told them go, knowing that it was too hard for me to talk about. It was in the past, and I intended on keeping it there.
When we reached the house, the girls went to un-pack upstairs while they guys were in the kitchen drinking. Well that's what we thought what they were doing, until I heard car doors close and the Jeep pull away.
I ran outside to stop them, but they were already gone. None of them answered their phones and we sat outside on the swing and waited. They were coming home to three very pissed off girlfriends.
*******
The guys returned home two hours later. Alice, Rose and I had taken the time to be productive and were dressed and ready to go. We were fuming and needed something to keep our hands busy.
As they walked up the porch, Rose went to hit Emmett hard in the chest as he held it in pain.
Baby.
Alice smacked Jasper upside the head and I just sat there glaring at Edward. That would affect him more than a beating of any kind. He sat down next to me with a cocky grin on his face while he tried to wrap his arm around my shoulders.
Not getting away with this shit that easy, buddy.
I noticed right away that his knuckles were bloody again, as were Emmett and Jasper's. I glared at him, forcing him to look at me.
"What?" He said with a smirk. God why did he have to be so damn sexy, I'm trying to be mad at him here! "We decided to go back out for another drink."
He tried to wrap his arm around me again, which I threw off.
"Right. A drink." I said rolling my eyes as I crossed my arms over my chest and tapped my foot.
"Yeah, I didn't get to finish my beer, so we went back." Emmett said with a smile. Rose hit him again making me laugh at his pain.
"And was Mike still there?" Alice asked.
"Yeah. But I don't think he is anymore." Jasper said trying to not laugh.
"Probably had to go home and change his pants." Edward said from beside me. He was stifling a laugh, shaking trying to hold it in.
"And shoes." Emmett added with a beat red face.
The three guys burst out laughing as Alice, Rose and I stood there glaring at them, waiting for answers.
"Someone want to let us in on the joke?" Rose asked with a pointed stare, silently telling Emmett that he better spill or there was no sex for week.
Emmett was practically on the ground rolling. Edward was shaking beside me and Jasper was leaning against a post to hold him up.
"Anyone want to tell us why Mike would need to change his pants?" I asked getting more pissed by the minute.
"Because he shit himself after we beat the fuck out of him." Emmett was now crying he was laughing so hard.
I hit Edward hard in the stomach. "What? It was fucking hilarious B. You would have thought so to if you were there."
I tried to be mad. I tried, but it didn't work.
I couldn't help but laugh with the guys, cause really that's too fucking funny not to laugh at. Alice and Rose followed as the boys recapped the fight. Well it really wasn't much of a fight. 3 against one. But again like it was with James, I wasn't mad, or scared.
Mike finally got what was coming to him.
After we finished laughing, and everyone's sides were hurting, we got dressed quickly as it was close to 6pm and the funeral was going to start soon.
Alice had brought me a black sleeveless dress with a square neckline, beading under the bust line and ended at the knees. I wore a pair of black heals and nylons. Rose and Alice wore similar dresses and the guys wore suits.
If it weren't for a funeral, it would have been a perfect photo opp. with us all dressed to the nine.
After several cigarettes, we made our way to the funeral home and started with the closure of Mama.
As much as I wanted to be angry with the guys for the little stunt they pulled, they were able take everyone's minds off the reason we were really here for a few hours.
How could I be mad at that?
The next few hours were hell, but Jasper and I stayed together, along with Edward and Alice at our sides. I held hands with Jasper as Edward kept his arm around my waist or back, letting me know he was there for me. We greeted and thanked her friends and co-workers for coming and listened as they said their good byes.
The hardest part of the night was when Jasper gave the eulogy.
He took a deep breath before beginning, and then looked at Alice and me for support. "My Mama, she was the best. She was a simple woman that liked simple things. When my dad left, I was only a little guy, and Mama raised me on her own and it was just the two of us. She gave me every experience that she could with the little she had. She worked extra shifts at the hospital and never once complained, as long as I was happy. Mama would sit and talk with me for hours, about anything. And she would play games, and just shoot the shit." Everyone laughed at his innuendo.
"But my Mama, she never had an easy life. She never had much luck with guys until she met Charlie." Jasper looked at me, knowing more than I obviously did. "When he was killed, she was devastated. She finally found a man that would treat her well, and he was killed. But then my sister for all intended purposes was finally able to come and live with us, and our family was complete. I had never seen my Mama smile so much as she did after Bell came. She always wanted a daughter, and she had one." Jasper's eyes were blood shot as he gave me another glance. " She loved you Bell. She got the daughter she always wanted." I gave him a smile in return silently telling him to continue. "Bell and I came home a few weeks ago, and Mama was able to meet my girlfriend Alice and Bell's Edward. She pulled me to the side and made sure that I was being a gentleman that she raised to Alice, and that Bell was being treated like the princess she is. She only wanted our happiness. My Mama put all that she had into our happiness. And now, I'm here, having to tell you all what my Mama's life meant. To me, my Mama meant the world. To Bell and I, she was our only family. We loved her with everything we had. She was our Mama. And I am going to miss her so damn much!"
Jasper broke down, and I made my way to him and gave him a hug. We held each other for a moment, and when he was ready, we stood their, hands intertwined while he finished up. "Mama, I'm gonna miss you so much. I love you. And I want you to know that you were the best. I wont ever let you down. I love you."
After a few prayers were said, everyone made there way to the cemetery. Jasper and I stayed behind and watched as they closed the casket. He kissed the top, as did I out of respect to the woman who raised us. We stood there holding each other, trying to compose ourselves before we had to see the group of people again.
We followed the hearse to the cemetery and laid flowers over her grave. Jasper and I lingered there a little longer than everyone else wanting to get in our last goodbye. Alice and Edward, Emmett and Rose stood back as we did so.
I found myself kneeling over the casket with a rose clutched in my hands.
"Thank you Mama. Thank you for loving me and making me your own. I won't ever forget what you did for me. You're the only person I could ever really call my Mama, and I can't even put into words what you meant to me. I hope that Jasper and I have families one day, so that we can tell them all about you, and your fried chicken and we're going to play 'Knights and Dragons' with them just like you did. And I promise to take care of Jasper and Edward and keep them safe, and well fed. Rose, Alice and Emmett are here too, and I promise that the six of us will stay together and keep each other safe and out of trouble, and maybe toilet paper a few more houses too. I love you. And I guess all that's left to say is…. goodbye."
I placed my rose over her coffin as I felt Jasper kneel down beside me. His arm was around my waist as I cuddled into his chest.
"This is it Mama. This is our final goodbye. I promise I will take care of Bell. Just like you always told me to do. I won't let you down. I won't let her down. I promise to make sure that she is taken care of, and I promise to take care of Alice just like the gentleman you raised. Thank you for every day you gave me Mama. You will be in our hearts forever. I love you."
Jasper and I stayed there for a long time. I kept one hand on her coffin until it was finally being lowered into the ground. We stood then, and I found myself just staring.
This was it.
This was our final good bye.
Jasper found Alice, and Edward's arms snaked around my shoulder pulling me close to him. I cried into his chest, as he held me tighter.
Finally, we made our way back to the house, where many of her friends and co-workers were, eating and drinking, sharing favorite stories about the lady of the hour. We thanked everyone for coming, and the last of the guests left by midnight.
I kicked off my shoes and began to clean up knowing we would be leaving in the morning. Jasper was out on the front porch with Alice, Rose and Emmett and I wanted him to relax. Edward helped me clean up, and when the last bag of garbage was out, he grabbed several beers and we made our way outside to join everyone else.
Edward and I took our seats on the porch, his back up against the railing, and me in-between his legs. Emmett and Rose were in the swing, and Alice was seated on Jasper's lap who was sitting in a rocking chair. The girls were still fully dressed minus their shoes and nylons, and the guys had all shed their jackets and shirts were pulled out.
We sat there and drank, remembering Mama.
Just the way she would want us too.
We made a toast to her at the end of the night, each of us with a glass of Boones Farm in memory of her life and what she meant to each one of us.
The longest day ever finally came to an end and the final chapter of my past life closed.
The next morning we said good-bye to the white Victorian house for the last time and caught a plane home.
I was ready to get home and go on with life.
It's what Mama would have wanted.
A/N: Grab your tissues and wipe your eyes. No matter how many times I proofed this, I always ended up with a few tears at the end. Edward would be calling me a pansy right now. And I would tell him he could call me anything he wanted…
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU again for all the amazing reviews. Can we get even more this time? Tell me what you thought, everyone really seemed to love Mama's character, and I'm sorry for killing her off, but at least it wasn't Jazz, right?
The next few chapters aren't as heavy. There is some fun and lemons to be had for these crazy kids.
Reviews are like an airport greeting from Edward!! Wrap your legs around that review button and give me a proper greeting!