A/N: Wow. I…ugh…. what to say…hmm..um, ok. THANK YOU for every single person that reviewed the last chapter! You guys are absolutely amazing and make me all tingly inside.
There were a few reviewers however that had their PM's turned off and I wasn't able to respond. Sorry if that was you, but I did try and give you the teaser you deserved!
Enough here, most of you will not have even read this….
Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight.
Chapter 22: The Waiting Game
EPOV
After we got to the hospital, I was told to go to the waiting room and fill out Bella's paperwork by some snarky bitch with a bun and goggle glasses. Like that was something I was interested in doing right now. My girl has just been brutally beaten and they expected me to fill out fucking paperwork? Seriously, get a damn clue. The male nurses had to literally pry my hands away from Bella when they took her into the Emergency Room.
My heart sunk and I was left with nothing.
I felt that if I left my Bella, I was leaving my life behind and wouldn't be able to say good-bye if needed. The possibility of her dying was real, and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't have just one more moment with her to tell her how much I loved her and what she meant to me. What she did for me.
Bella was my life, and I was nothing without her.
I watched in agony as they wheeled her off into the Emergency Room as I stood at the doors, studying them as they swung closed like a lost man, waiting for her to come back to me. I felt a tug on my arm after what could have been only minutes, but felt like hours of standing staring at the ER doors. A nurse escorted me to the waiting room where my body fell back in one of the chairs, banging my head against the wall with thoughts of everything that had happened tonight. How it went so wrong.
I thought of the last year; how much my life changed because of my girl. I was such a different man after last summer. Happier, friendlier, more loving and knowing that there was more to this life and I was going to have it.
All because of Bella. My life.
She had to survive.
And as selfish as it sounded, she had to survive for not only herself, but for me, for us.
Another nurse came over with a clipboard saying again that to properly admit Bella that I needed to get her registered. Nothing registered with me other than the fact that I needed Bella in my arms and that she needed to pull through. I threw the clipboard to the side knowing that I couldn't write worth a damn right now. My hands were shaking so bad that even if I cared enough to fill out the hospital paperwork, it wouldn't be readable. They were going to treat her whether she was registered or not, so a few more minutes for me to gather my thoughts wasn't going to hurt any.
I wasn't alone with my thought for long as Emmett, Rose, Alice and Jasper arrived a few minutes later. Jasper had a clean shirt on, traces of Bella's blood gone. Rose and Alice were still in their pajamas as it was still early morning. Emmett's arms and face were covered in sweat and dirt from our throw down with fucking James.
I stood to greet my family as Alice enveloped me in a tight comforting hug, rubbing my back as she clung to me tighter. I knew that I was getting her dirty with my blood covered chest and arms, but I didn't much care at this point. I needed her. I couldn't let her go. I held her to me for a long time before finally pulling away, realizing that I needed to get control of myself.
Alice had several articles of clothing in her hands that she held out to me with a half smile that didn't meet her eyes.
"I brought you a shirt." She said in a tiny voice as she began rubbing Bella's dried blood off of my chest with the washcloth. I made no move to stop her, watching, as the white washcloth was turning red with every swipe over my body. She was washing Bella's presence from me. I choked back tears that wanted to make themselves known and pulled the shirt on that she held out and slumped back in the same chair afraid my legs were going to soon give out on me. "I called dad, he and mom are on their way in. He'll be able to tell us more of what's going on."
"Thanks Tink." I ruffled her hair and she gave me a slight smile as she took the chair next to me and rubbed my arm. Alice grabbed the clipboard and took the liberty of filling out Bella's paperwork for me; seeing that I was still in no shape to do anything that required my mind.
"What are they saying E?" Jasper was pacing nervous as hell for Bella. He was still pale as a ghost, just as worried as I was. I had been so wrapped up in Alice, that up until Jasper spoke, I didn't realize they were all still standing there, waiting for me to speak.
"I don't know." I ran my dirty hands through my hair as I let out a deep breath. "She has a pulse but from what I seen on the ride over here, she's still out. The EMT's couldn't tell me her status and then when we got here, they took her back through those doors and I haven't heard anything since. I'm going fucking insane over here!" I yelled as I threw my hands up in the air, frustrated as all hell not knowing what was happening with my girl.
The tears were free flowing and I didn't even try to hide them at this point. What's the use? I could've care less if every person in that fucking hospital thought of me as a pansy. That was my girl in there fighting for her life!
I felt Emmett's big hand on my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze, trying to comfort me like he always did.
"She's going to be fine E. I know she will. She's a lot stronger than any of us give her credit for." He said as he left his hand on my shoulder. It was hard to be angry with Emmett about anything, but he had no clue what Bella's fate would be.
None of us did.
"And what if she isn't?" I looked up at Emmett whose eyes were wet, signifying his tears that were coming. I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand, standing as I shrugged his hand off of me. "You should have let me kill him Emm!"
"No." Emmett grabbed both my shoulders shaking me until I looked at him. His face was hard with finality but softer than I'd ever seen. "Because you would be in jail right now. And Bella needs you to be here for her, helping her fight. And besides, do you think that is really what she would have wanted? You're better than this E!" Emmett pulled me into a tight hug, holding me to his chest as I let my head fall, shaking as I cried.
I knew Emmett was right. Bella wouldn't have wanted me to kill fucking James. Knowing Bella, she would probably think it be best if he ended up in jail with a selly that wanted to make him his girlfriend.
I laughed at my own thought, and looked up at the 5 faces that stared back at me like I had gone to crazy town. I shrugged them off not caring what they thought.
Emmett released me and sat back down as I leaned forward and put my head in my hands as Alice sat beside me rubbing my arms and shoulders. Rose was still standing, leaning against a pillar as she rubbed her protruding belly. Emmett grabbed his wife's hand and led her to a chair where they both sat down.
Jasper was a few feet from us on the phone yelling, as we all looked up along with several nurses. From listening in to the conversation, I knew he was talking to Ben and trying to find some Goddamn answers. He was pacing back and forth, running his hands through his hair looking furious, scared, angry, upset, hurt. He came back several minutes later sitting down next to Alice, heated and trying to calm himself down.
"Ben's looking into it how fuck face was even out and will get back to us as soon as he can." Jasper said as soon as he calmed enough to talk.
I nodded and sat there wanting to be as angry as Jasper about everything, but I had no energy left in my entire body to do anything but think of Bella.
We sat there waiting, no one talking, listening to the nurses go about their shift.
And waited.
Rose and Alice had fallen asleep on their guys, and I suggested that Emmett take them home knowing that Rose shouldn't be surrounded by so much stress. Rose and Alice awoke as we spoke and immediately declined, wanting to be here for Bella and I. I gave my family a weak smile before leaning my head back against the concrete wall behind me, trying to shut out all my inner demons that wanted to make themselves known.
Another hour went by.
No word from any of the medical staff.
Two hours.
Nothing.
We waited and waited.
And waited.
Mom and dad got there around 4am, looking distraught for their soon to be daughter in law's health. Dad went back to see if there was anything he could help with, or find out for us, and mom got us all coffee. Jasper and I had given her the run down, retelling the events over the past few hours, and watched as she broke down into a blubbering mess, listening to what Bella had been through.
As I spoke, I broke down, word-by-word still not knowing my soon to be wife's fate. Jasper was a shaky crying mess talking about the brutality that was used against his best friend. His sister.
For the next hour, my mom held my hand and let me lean into her side while I allowed the last few hours run through my head over and over. My mom took care of me like I was a little boy again, running her fingers through my hair, kissing my head, rubbing my back, comforting me the best way she knew how.
Only one other person in this entire world could have made me feel better than my mother.
And she was on the other side of those doors fighting for her life.
Bella's life was hanging in the balance, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.
I was fucking helpless.
Another hour went by.
Every time the doors to the ER opened, I stood, only to be disappointed when a nurse would give me a sad look and shake her head that no, she didn't have any word on Bella's condition.
6am came and went.
Nurses changed shift, and the new day was starting.
7am hit.
It had been 5 hours with no word on my Bella.
I didn't know if I should take this as a good sign or not. Maybe the doctors hadn't come out because she was in surgery or they were working on her injuries and were too busy to update her family. What if she had… died… ugh! Just thinking that thought made me physically ill, falling to my knees in pain with the thought of never seeing Bella's smiling face again. If things had gone the other way, someone would have come out by this point to inform us, right?
The waiting room felt like my own personal prison. I couldn't leave, but I couldn't just sit there either. I didn't know what to do. I had no idea how Bella was. The doctors hadn't given us anything to go off of. Carlisle had gone back hours ago, and hadn't returned yet.
I was loosing my mind in agony. Jasper looked just as bad off as I felt. His hair was in every different direction from him pulling on it so much.
And the time that I had waiting for word made me also think about what I let happen to her.
I made Bella a promise that she would never be hurt again, and here she was, fighting for her life only a few doors down from me because I wasn't there to protect her.
It was my only job to keep my girl safe and I failed.
I would never forgive myself for letting this happen to her.
What kind of person was I? I couldn't even protect her from a piece of shit that was ten times weaker than me and had previously beaten the shit out of. But as my thoughts continued, I wondered if my previous run in with fuck face had only made things worse for my Bella.
I hated myself more than I ever had for letting her go through this again.
I failed Bella.
I failed myself.
I failed us.
I wasn't much of a church going man, but found myself praying for her to make it out alive on more than one occasion.
Please God, I don't ask for much in this world, and promise to never ask for another thing so long as I live. I am begging, pleading for my girl Bella to make it through. I pray that you watch over her and bring her back to me where she belongs. I can't live this life without her and will not even try if that's what it comes down to. Please, look past all my flaws and see the goodness that is Bella. Help her. Save her. Save us.
Carlisle made his way through the doors in a pair of scrubs, pulling me from my thoughts. As he walked towards us I stood, bracing myself against a poll for support knowing that my legs were not strong enough to support me right now.
My father's eyes were tired and blood shot. He had obviously been crying, which made my heart sink even further if that was possible. My father never cried. His face was expressionless.
My father placed his hand on my shoulder gripping it hard as he stared into my eyes. Tears blurred my vision as I felt my mom take my available hand, holding it tightly in both of hers, silently telling that she was here to support me through whatever I was about to be told. Everyone else stood anxiously waiting for what my father was going to say.
"Dad?" I was barely able to speak the words as I swallowed back the knot in my throat. "My Bella?"
He gave a long pause before speaking, picking his words carefully. The tears were now falling down my cheeks uncontrollably, anticipating what he was going to state. She had to be ok, I kept telling myself.
"Edward. Bella just got out of surgery. We did everything we could for her. She had a lot of head trauma and swelling in her brain. We had to go in and drain some of the fluids to relieve the pressure on her brain." Carlisle swallowed hard, and in all my life, I hadn't seen him this nervous, sad, lost before.
"And..." I needed for him to tell me she was going to be ok. Mom tightened her grip on my hand as I began to shake.
He took a deep breath. I could tell he was really thinking hard, choosing his words cautiously. Tears filled his eyes and I felt my knees going weak. Mom grasped my forearm for support.
"She's now in the recovery room. Her pulse is good and she needs to rest." Another long pause. "She took many hits to her head, and as I said went through surgery for the swelling in her brain. The bone under left eye is fractured, and the rest of her face is badly bruised. Her body is covered in bruises. She has a few broken ribs as well. But, she's going to be ok. She's going to make it, son."
I fell to my knees when I heard those 5 words I had been praying for the last several hours.
She's going to make it.
"She's going to be ok?" I whispered as I looked at the ground, praying like hell that I heard him correctly.
"Yes son, she'll make a full recovery. Bella's going to have a rough few weeks ahead of her recovering from her injuries, but she will recover. Why don't you all go home and get some rest. She won't be able to have visitors for quite some time and you all look exhausted." Carlisle looked around at everyone giving them a small smile and head nod.
"I can't leave her dad. I just can't." My tear filled eyes looked up at him pleading to just let me stay as he nodded in understanding.
"I can't leave either Carlisle. That's my sister in there." Jasper was leaning heavily on little Alice for support. His eyes blood shot and broken listening to my father talk about our girl.
Again my father just nodded in understanding. He knew the connection that Jasper and Bella had, there was no question about her brother staying and waiting for her to wake up.
"Emm, you need to take the girls home. It's not good for Rose to be here, she needs rest." The words were barely audible from my mouth as I continued to look at the ground, not really seeing it as my eyes were blurred, dazed and disoriented.
Emmett grabbed me from under the arms and pulled me up and into a tight hug, holding my weight to him until my arms wrapped tightly around his form, hugging him to me. I didn't hold back. I needed him, I needed my family. He kissed the side of my head before he spoke.
"She's going to be fine E. She's going to come home to you. I promise. The two of you are going to make it through this shit together." He held me a minute longer before releasing me to my chair, grabbing Alice and Rose's hands letting them know it was time to go.
Both Rose and Alice gave Jasper and I a kiss on the cheek before making their way home. They said they were going to be staying at my apartment so they were all together when we called to tell them about Bella.
Jasper and I sat in chairs next to each other watching as my mom gave dad a hug. Carlisle then knelt down in front of my chair; again his eyes were tear filled and blood shot. He placed one hand on my knee as I looked into his eyes.
"It's bad dad, isn't it?" I asked trying to push back the knot in my throat for the hundredth time tonight, or this morning, whatever it was.
"I've never been one to lie to you, son. Her injuries are severe, but she will heal. Emmett's right, she's coming home to you. I'll make sure to keep a close watch on her status. But...there's something that I'm going to need to discuss with you and Bella… when she's ready." His eyes fell to his hands not wanting to give more information away until absolutely necessary.
My heart fell to my gut, and as if things couldn't get worse, I felt the room spinning around me, terrified of what he was going to say. I placed my hand over his gripping it tight.
"What is it? I need to know what we're facing." I asked, again barely able to get the words out.
Dad looked over to Jasper as if he didn't want to speak about Bella's personal information in front of him.
"Carlisle, Bella is my life too. I have to know what's wrong with her. Please." Jasper squeaked out.
I gave my father a nod knowing that Jasper was here for Bella as much as I was and that she wouldn't mind him knowing.
"The attack took a tole on her body, in more ways than one. From the looks of the bruises on her stomach and ribs, she was struck there with force, as well as her chest. And...." His voice gave out, as mom's hand came to rest on his back. "And this is something that I should really be discussing with you and Bella when she is ready."
What he was about to say was really awful. Worse than I could have imagined. Part of me was screaming inside to know, and the other part of me knew that it was something that I needed to hear with Bella.
I nodded my head in understanding and peeled my eyes away from my fathers.
"I'm going to go check on her now son, I'll let you know when you can go in and sit with her." He gave my knee another squeeze, kissed Esme, and made his way to Bella, leaving me with so many unanswered questions that were floating around in my mind.
"I'll go and get you two some clothes to change into. I got a feeling neither of you are going anywhere anytime soon." I nodded at my mother as she kissed my cheek then Jasper's and left us alone.
We both sat there stunned for what seemed like hours, but when I looked at my phone, which was cracked and being held together by tape due to throwing it in my fight to find Bella, I realized it had only been minutes.
Only minutes since dad told us that Bella was going to make it.
Minutes since he told me that there was something more going on with Bella that he couldn't tell me about right now.
I peered over at Jasper who looked like he was a lost soul. I slapped his knee to get him out of the trance he was in and his eyes darted towards mine.
"I need a smoke. You?" He nodded and we made our way outside near the ER doors.
I told the nurses where to find us just in case Bella awoke, and headed out. Dad had said that he would let me know when we could see Bella, so I figured now was as good of a time as any to try and get some relief in the only way I would be able to.
Jasper and I both lit up and leaned up against opposite walls not talking for a long while, just enjoying the way the nicotine kicked in and relaxed some nerves.
Not talking also allowed me to be alone yet again with my thoughts, and what fuck face James did to my girl. I tried not to let my anger get the best of me. I tried not to allow him to control me like this. I tried to be the better person here, but my control was slipping little by little, as pictures of her bloody and bruised body kept flooding my mind.
Finally the pent up rage I had been holding in could not be caged any longer. I kicked the heavy trash barrel over, letting it fall to the ground, garbage flying about in the wind. I slammed my fists into the concrete wall welcoming the pain I felt as my head hit the wall and I cried like a fucking baby.
Jasper picked up the trash barrel and made his way over to me, standing beside me with his arm over my shoulders trying to comfort me. I pushed him off, shoving him back, not wanting to be comforted right now. I wanted to be mad. I wanted someone to be mad at.
"Stop E!" Jasper yelled as he pulled me into a hug. I tried to push him back again, but he just held me tighter. "I'm hurting too man, I love her just as much as you do!" I knew he was hurting just as bad as I was, maybe even worse, and I didn't stop to think about his feelings until just now, but I still wanted to be mad, hurt something or someone.
"What the fuck happened Jasper?" I growled as I pushed him back with all my force making him release me from his grip. My adrenaline kicked in and the monster was unleashed. "How. The. Fuck. Did. This. Happen? Your buddy Ben said that this was the last fucking straw. I don't fucking understand, and someone better do some fucking explaining before I really lose my fucking cool!" I paced back and forth, hitting the wall here and there trying to get some kind of comfort from the pain.
"I don't know man! I don't know! My mind has been racing a mile a minute ever since I was pulled out of bed and we went looking for Bella! And then when I heard her screaming and we seen her...I lost it. And you started on James and I went for Bella, and she.........she...was so defenseless. I immediately pulled off my shirt to cover her, her chest exposed and bloody..........and she was trying to push me away thinking I was James." He shook his head thinking of the sight, tears streaming down his cheeks, breaking down again, bit by bit.
I pulled out another cigarette and smoked as he continued, cringing with each word he spoke.
"I didn't know what to do. As soon as I was able to get her attention and she believed that I wasn't James she sunk into my arms. She kept screaming for her Angel. 'My Angel,' were her exact words."
I felt my stomach drop and I lost it in the trashcan. She was screaming for me to help her, and I was to late.
I was too fucking late.
I slid my way down the wall and sat with my knees to my chest with my arms wrapped around them listening to Jasper go on with what he remembered as my mind reminded me that I was to late and she was calling for me to save her.
"Did you see her body E? Did you fucking see what he did to her? I held her in my arms and cradled her, telling her everything was going to be ok, but not really knowing for sure myself. I told her how you were there and that you were taking care of James. She could barely talk, whispering to me, to make you stop. And then her head fell back and she stopped talking." He was now next to me on the ground looking defeated.
"She's the only reason I did stop." I barely squeaked out the words as I cleared my throat. "If it weren't for you telling me what she said I would have killed him J. I would have fucking killed him and felt no remorse. But I knew deep down it wasn't what she wanted. He deserves to die man; I can't get the images of her naked and beaten out of my head. I am so fucking traumatized with the visuals!" I leaned my head into my hands letting the tears flow as they pleased.
"I know man, I feel the same way. The last thing I promised my Mama before the coffin was lowered, was that I would take care of Bell, and I broke that promise. She's sitting in that fucking room right now because I didn't fucking protect and take care of her. I failed her once again!" I put my hand on his back as he shook with tears.
"I feel the same way. My only job in this whole fucking world is to take care of my Bella and I failed. I can't help feel like this is my fault because I didn't protect her. You can't lay this on your shoulders J. It was my job now and I fucking failed her." I failed my girl and wouldn't let someone else take the blame for this massacre.
"No! It was both of our jobs to make sure she was safe!" He glared into my eyes. "Do you know what its like to watch her go through this time after fucking time? Watching her cry herself to sleep night after night because she had been beaten down so badly that's all she could do? And every time, I would tell her that this was it. That it was never going to happen to her again, and here we sit. Yet again. I fucking hate myself for letting this happen!"
"What was she even doing out that late anyways? Alone?" I asked staring at the ground. I had been wondering about this since the moment that I seen the note in the kitchen.
"She said she had a craving for ice cream in her note. But what the fuck was she thinking going out by herself that late? I mean James or no James; none of the girls go out that late on their own. She is so fucking stupid to have gone!" He was on his feet again pacing.
"I feel the same way. I have no idea what was going through that mind of hers. The only thing I can think of is that she felt she could go. She felt that with James being locked up she was safe. How fucking wrong was she? How fucking wrong were we all?" I got to my feet and was pacing with Jasper. "I need some answers man."
"I know, I talked to Ben about an hour ago, and he's catching a flight. He should be here tonight to start figuring this shit out. He can watch things closer if he's here. Then we should have some answers." Jasper leaned against the wall with his head back and eyes closed.
"Mr. Cullen?" The doors opened and a nurse named Kate came out. "Dr. Cullen said you can see Ms. Swan now."
I ran to the doors in excitement, knowing that I was seconds away from seeing my girl. Jasper was behind me shaking with nervous energy and I knew couldn't leave him in the waiting room.
"Kate? My buddy Jasper has to be in there too. Please tell my father Dr. Cullen. He will ok the request." I gave her my pleading eyes and she nodded.
Jasper's hand clapped my back in appreciation and we made our way to Bella's room. My father caught us outside her door and reminded us that she would be unconscious and that we shouldn't try to wake her.
We both nodded and made our way in. I stopped dead in my tracks in the doorframe and stared at the bed in front of me.
My Bella.
Jasper was beside me, and it was hell taking a step forward seeing the sight in front of me lying on that bed.
My stomach dropped once again; the sight of Bella blurred my vision. She lay lifeless in the bed before us. She had tubes down her throat and her head was wrapped in gauze from where the incision was. Her left eye was swollen shut; black and purple lined her face.
I forced my feet forward as Jasper and I made our way over to her bed, each of us taking a side of the bed. Her neck was covered in purple and blue, but her 'E' was visible behind her ear. A small smile twitched on my lips at the sight and I ran my fingers over it, letting her know I was here, wanting to feel our connection still there.
She had a thin hospital gown on that hung off her fragile body. I could see there was bruising along her collar bone and down her arms. Her arms looked as they did when she returned from California, long bruises all the way around from his hands.
I grabbed her small hand and rubbed over her ring. My ring. I leaned down and kissed it grateful that she still had it on. A piece of me had been with her and had stayed with her through the most difficult day of our lives. One of the nurses must have put it back on her after surgery and I was guessing that it was that nice nurse Kate. She seemed to be a very compassionate person.
Jasper had pulled up a chair and sat down, holding her right hand in his own, whispering his love to her. I moved the blanket down and pulled at her gown, inching it up. I wasn't trying to be a pervert, but I had to see everything, so I could get a grasp on things before she could see me fall apart. Cause I knew I wasn't far from it.
I started at her feet and worked my way up, noticing that her lower legs were not bruised at all. Letting my eyes roam further, I notice the bruises on her inner and outer thighs and had to swallow the vomit in my mouth knowing how they got there. I continued my journey up and saw the bruising across her hipbones and her swollen stomach and rib cage.
When the gown made its way over her breasts, I seen her right breast had gauze and tape over the nipple, but that the other just had a few scratches and bruising. Did her ring pull out? I pulled the gown down, and tucked the blanket back around her not knowing if my stomach was staying or going.
"Edward?" Carlisle had come in the room during my inspection and I was a bit embarrassed that I was caught looking at her like that.
I turned to look at my father, my eyes burning from the tears.
"Why is her breast taped up?" I didn't want to know, but I did, and I guess deep down I already knew. Part of me wanted to feel uncomfortable talking to my father about my girl's body, but knew that he was a professional and had seen thousands of naked women.
Carlisle took a deep breath before starting. Jasper was sitting bent over with his head in his hands listening.
"He was very rough with her Edward. He pulled...causing the wound to bleed. I would assume that area will be sensitive for a while." He stopped, looking for words again. "I didn't realize she shared a love for piercings as you did son." A small smile played across his lips at the work on Bella's body knowing that I was the one that had put most of it there.
I blushed at the comment for only a second before shaking the thought of all the intimate details of her beautiful body that were there for just the two of us to see.
Another thought crossed my mind disrupting my happy thoughts.
"Her thighs are badly bruised, but when I found her, she was mostly naked but still had...her...ugh...panties on. Did he...I mean...was she.... ugh...did he assault her that way?" I barely could get the words out, partially because I was embarrassed for talking about my girl this way, and secondly because it was my father.
"No son, we did a vaginal exam on her and she wasn't raped if that's what you were wanting to know." I nodded my head and let out a deep breath. "But...there is still something I need to talk to you both about when she's ready."
"If she wasn't raped then what is it? It can't get much worse than that." I tried to keep my voice down, but was tired of not knowing and wanted some answers for once.
His eyes flooded with tears as he looked to the floor not wanting to meet my gaze.
"When Bella wakes I will come and talk with you both, leave it at that for now, ok son?" I nodded knowing that it was something we needed to hear together.
Just the thought of knowing that it was something we would be able to hear together was calming. I would get my Bella back and things would be ok. Well eventually they would be ok, but she was coming back to me.
Carlisle left after explaining Bella's injuries a little more in depth. He needed to fill out some paperwork to get himself transferred as Bella's primary doctor so he could keep us up to date on her progress and monitor her. Bella had put me down previously with her doctor as her responsible person if anything were to happen to her, and I had to sign the paperwork for the transfer and would also be held responsible for any decisions that needed to be made.
I was just glad that as of right now, there were no decisions that would need to be made.
I wouldn't be able to make them on my own if need be.
Jasper and I set up camp on either side of Bella's bed. The only time I let her hand go was when a nurse glared at me to move so she could check vitals, give meds, and change dressings.
Nurse Kate would just move past me, telling me that I was fine where I was at, and I thanked her every chance I got for being so understanding of our situation. Some of the nurses were down right pushy and could have cared less that I was Carlisle's son first of all, and that my girl had been in a very tragic accident. Bitches!
Jasper and I took turns taking naps throughout the day, and I was internally grateful that he had stayed so that I had some company. And I knew that Bella would be glad to see him when she woke up.
The morning turned into afternoon, and afternoon turned into evening. Esme returned with a duffle bag full of clothes for us and toiletries. Jasper and I took turns with showers as we had now been here for almost 24 hours and were still covered in the remnants of Bella's attack. I scrubbed my chest and arms until they were raw, trying to get rid of the memories of Bella's blood that had been there. My skin was red and raw, but I knew it was nothing compared to what Bella had gone through. I broke down in the shower and stood there for a long time trying to regain my control before I dressed and returned to her side, knowing that when she woke, she wouldn't want to see me like this. It wouldn't be good for her recovery.
And the only thing that mattered to me know was Bella's recovery.
Emmett had called late in the evening, wondering her progress and between Jasper and I, we explained all that we knew. I heard Rose and Alice cry in relief when they heard that she would be waking soon. Emmett had us on speakerphone.
Carlisle had explained that she was in a medically induced coma to help her heal from the surgery. He said that her meds had been stopped in the evening and that it was up to her body when it was ready to wake and start recovery on its own. He also said that typically it only took a day or two, but each case was different.
Sunday continued the same way as the previous day. Nurses came and went, Carlisle came and went, Jasper and I stood our positions and didn't move, both of us hoping and praying to see the whites of Bella's eyes.
Emmett, Rose and Alice were instructed to stay away until she was awake, so it was just Jasper and I. We passed the time watching crappy cable tv, playing cards and discussing shoptalk.
We mostly just sat staring at Bella, willing her eyes to open.
And waited some more.
And continued to wait.
By Monday I was starting to get anxious wondering why she hadn't woken yet, but was assured by Carlisle that she would wake when her body was ready. It needed to heal itself enough first.
I found myself pacing that little room for several hours a day not knowing what else to do.
Jasper decided to go home for a while and be with Alice. There wasn't anything that he could do for Bella at the hospital and needed to comfort Alice and let her know that things were going to be ok. After a long talk, I finally got Jasper to realize that he would always be in Bella's life, but that he needed to take care of my sister first and foremost and let me do the worrying for Bella.
Tuesday, we had Nurse Kate again, and she even brought me in a Caribou coffee and some bagels on her way in. She let me stay, and I watched as she gave Bella a sponge bath, not able to leave her side or look away from her naked form. I watched as she made her way over Bella's bruised body, and cringed each time she went over her ribs or any other injured area.
Wednesday, Esme brought me some more clothes and my sketchpad and sat with dad and I for a few hours. I worked on many new designs during the time alone and began to write. I wrote everything I was feeling and everything that had happened in my life since I met Bella last August.
I spent most of the days with Bella's hand in mine singing to her, letting her feel my love the only way I could right now. I sang anything I could think of, hoping that she could hear me, and had just a little bit of peace knowing that I was near.
Thursday was not a good day for me. I was starting to loose my mind thinking that she wasn't going to wake up. I watched as they fed her through a feeding tube, but I knew her body wasn't getting the nourishment it needed. She was slowly withering away, and badly needed to wake up so that she could really start recovering.
Carlisle, who checked on her several times a day, assured me that this was normal, but even I could see the strain on his face, as she wasn't waking up.
Saturday morning came around. I had been at the hospital with Bella for a whole week. My body was weak. My mind was even weaker.
I was starting to give up hope that she was actually going to wake up.
I talked to her even more than usual and prayed for a response, knowing that I would hear nothing.
I laid my head on her bed, with one of her hands in mine, the other around her thigh.
"Please B. Please you gotta come back to me." I cried. "You're my whole world, and I can't live with out you. Please my Angel you have to wake up. I need you."
"I love you B. So fucking much. Please." I cried into the mattress rubbing her hand and thigh.
She had to wake up.
She had too.
A/N: Tear. Another cliffy. Sorry. But the next one will give you some answers that I'm sure you're dying for!
Please note that I am an office manager in real life and have no clue about how long it takes to come back from a medically induced coma or any of the technical terms, so don't shoot me for not being smart in the head.
Send me your thoughts and kind words. These chapters are the hardest to write. No fun at all.
I would love to hear your ideas about how you think James was out and walking the streets. Shoot me a review and share.
Now… hit the review button and show me some love. Can we get to 500 or close at least? I would LOVE every one of you just a little more than usual if you could help me out. Maybe it would get the next chapter up even faster…hmm.
Reviews are better than James's selly bending him over the metal toilet seat and taking advantage of his back door. I know you are all as sick and twisted as me so you get what I mean.
Oh, and if you are looking for a pick me up from all the sadness, check out my new fic. 'Give and Take'. It's got lots of snarky Bella and sexy Edward. Lots of laughs to come!