A/N: Notes on the bottom, cause I know you guys aren't going to want to read this stuff up here.
Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight
Chapter 23:Coming To Terms
BPOV
Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep…The annoying sound continued and I was about two seconds from throwing my damn pillow at it to make it stop.
Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep…So help me God, if Edward didn't shut his damn alarm off soon, he was getting no sex for a week.
The beeping continued and I wondered why he wasn't shutting it off.
The more I listened, it didn't sound like Edward's alarm clock, and if it were his alarm he would have gotten it already. He was OCD about sounds and had to shut it off by the second time it beeped saying it bothered the piss out of him.
Beep… Beep… Beep… Beep…No. That definitely wasn't an alarm clock.
I thought for a minute, and recognized that I wasn't in my bed. This bed was much too hard and I never sleep up right. I always slept on my stomach or sides.
I wasn't at home. Where the hell was I?
I tried to swallow and was unable to; my throat was constricted with something. I started to panic unable to move, my body feeling heavy like a brick, but realized that I was still breathing and was indeed awake. Whatever was in my mouth was still allowing me to breath.
I slowly opened my eyes and looked around. My vision was blurry, and I couldn't see out of my left eye at all. It wouldn't even open.
My vision focused on the white walls, beeping machines, the smell of alcohol.
I was in the hospital.
Little bits and pieces came flooding back to mind of what had happened and why I was here.
James.
I was definitely in the hospital, but how did I get here?
The last thing I remembered was Edward carrying me in his arms as I told him that I loved him.
Then everything went black.
I tried to move my head but it wouldn't budge. It felt like it weighed a thousand pounds and it was pulsing with pain.
Something heavy was on my hand. It was holding me down. I couldn't move it, but realized that whatever was holding me down had a calming affect on me, and I didn't care that it was immobilizing my hand.
It was warm, soft and very familiar.
I tried to move my head once more, this time it budged an inch or two and I saw my Angel asleep with his head on my thigh, arm wrapped around it with his other hand over mine. I immediately felt relief knowing that he was here with me and that I wasn't alone.
Edward would have the answers that I needed.
I squeezed his hand that was over mine, but he didn't move, my grip was so light that he probably didn't even feel it.
I tried again, grasping his fingers as tight as possible. I know my fingers barely held his; I had no strength in my body.
I squeezed his fingers once more praying that he could feel my touch. I needed to see his piercing green eyes that held all the comfort I would ever need.
I felt his hand tighten over mine and his head moved slightly and I was home. Home with Edward.
His head raised and his beautiful eyes met mine. I wanted to smile at him, talk, tell him how much I loved him, but I couldn't do anything.
"B?" His eyes were blood shot, bags under them. His voice was thick as if he had been crying. I had many dreams of my Angel while I was sleeping, but they were usually not this shitty looking.
I tried to answer but couldn't due to thing down my throat. Edward seen the panic in my eyes and tightened his grip on my hand as he talked trying to soothe me.
"B? You're at the hospital. There's a tube down your throat to help you breath. You've been in a coma. I'll get Carlisle and we'll get it out. Oh B! I thought I lost you, baby!" Edward kissed my hand, gripping my fingers, letting me feel his love as tears ran down his cheeks.
I tried to speak again with no luck.
I wanted to tell him that I was right here, and that he didn't loose me.
I wanted to tell him that I loved him too.
I wanted to tell him not to cry.
He let go of my hand for only a second, running from the room most likely to alert the hospital staff that I was awake.
Soon, my room was flooded with nurses checking my monitors and then Carlisle came in.
"Bella?" His eyes twinkled, unshed tears pooling in the corners. "You have a tube down your throat that I'm going to remove. It's going to hurt for a while. As we're pulling it out, try to cough it will help. There's oxygen in your nose, take deep breaths if you can ok?" He stared at me for confirmation that I understood and I tried to nod. Seeing that I was unable to, he continued. "Blink two times if you understand."
I blinked twice and they got to work. After the tubes were out of my mouth, I coughed trying to breath. The oxygen in my nosepieces was turned up and I started to breath on my own appreciating the fact that there was no longer anything constricting my ability to talk. As soon as the nurses seen that I was breathing easily, they took a step back and allowed Edward to come closer.
He took my hand once again and gripped it tightly as another hand rested on my shoulder.
"E?" I croaked. My throat burned with every breath I took but I needed to talk to him, show him that I was here and that I was all right.
"Shh.. Bella, its ok beautiful, you don't have to talk." Edward said as he kissed my hand as tears continued to fall down his cheeks. He looked so damn tired, but the crooked smile I loved was there and I focused on that. "I'll get you some ice chips, Love."
He was only gone for a few seconds but as soon as his touch left mine, I felt cold and empty. He returned with a cup full of ice chips, which he hand fed me. The cool ice on the back of my throat was heavenly.
"Bella? Do you know where you are?" Carlisle asked as he read through my charts and checked machines.
"Yes. Hospital. James. Ungh..." The severe pain in my head cut me off. It was agonizing. I tried to bring my hand to my head, but my arm weighed a ton and it wasn't budging.
"Yes, you're right. Edward, Jasper and Emmett found you. The ambulance brought you here and you had to have surgery. There was too much pressure on your brain, and we had to go in and drain some fluids."
I closed my eyes and took in what he was saying. I remember James hitting me in the head and the face countless times. My left eye was mostly swollen shut, but I could make out a sliver of the room, and Edward's face now that I had been alert for a while.
My Angels face.
"Are you in pain Bella?" Carlisle asked while looking over my charts.
Yes I was in pain, but did I want to go back to sleep? No.
I needed to see Edward and feel his love and let him feel mine. I had to get that distraught look off his face.
"Not much." My face gave me away and Edward's disapproving eyes peered into mine.
"B, I can tell you're in pain. Take the meds and rest. I'm not going anywhere, Love. I won't ever leave you again, Angel." Edward said as he grabbed a strand of hair that had fallen in my face. His words hit me harder than he probably intended and a tear escaped my eye. I didn't want him to ever leave me again. Not after what happened.
"How long was I out?" I screeched. I didn't know what day it was, or time. I couldn't tell you if it was morning or afternoon, or what month it was either.
"A little over 7 days. It's Sunday morning. You were brought in early Saturday morning of last week." Edward said with a scratchy voice. He was on the verge of tears again and I didn't want to be the reason behind them, knowing that I was.
I thought about what he said, and couldn't believe that I had been out that long. I didn't remember being asleep for the past 7 days. Then again I didn't remember much of anything right now.
"You never left, did you?" I asked looking into his blood shot eyes that were so full of love and compassion.
He sat in his chair again and rubbed my leg with his hand while the other held mine tight. "Never. Not for one minute B. And I'm not leaving. Not until we leave together. Understand?" His tone was so serious, I think I fell in love with him just a little more with the way he spoke of us.
I gave him the best smile I could in understanding. I wouldn't want him to leave me until we left together, but understood if he wanted or needed to.
"Bella, I'm going to give you a sedative that will help you sleep. You should feel better when you awake, ok sweetie? We'll talk more when you wake up." Carlisle injected something in my IV and the last thing I remember is Edward saying that he loved me.
******
I awoke and the room was dark. I heard the annoying beeping of the machines that I was hooked up to and saw Edward asleep in the chair beside my bed. He was bent over with his head on my thigh, with my hand in his. I fell asleep again with my Angel by my side.
I wanted nothing more than to have him crawl in bed with me, so that I could feel him next to me.
I tried to tell him, but didn't get the words out before I fell asleep again.
******
A nurse was poking my arm and I twitched. I opened my eyes to see that it was daylight again. My eyes felt so heavy. I was trying to keep them open, but the sleepiness won out. I vaguely remember seeing Edward who was pacing around the room on his cell phone.
I woke like this several more times, switching from day to night and back again. I lost track of the days and the times.
Jasper was pacing the room the next time I woke up. His eyes caught mine for only a second before mine closed again.
I heard talking but couldn't make out the words, I was just so tired.
*****
My eyes fluttered open, and I felt a light kiss on my lips. I knew it was Edward, and as my eyes came into focus, I seen his smiling face looking back at me.
"Are you really awake this time, B?" Edward sounded relieved and anxious.
I took stock of his face, noticing that the dark circles were still under his eyes, but they weren't blood shot any longer. He looked as if he may have gotten some sleep while I was out again.
"Yes. I think I am. What day is it?" I was scared for the answer, wondering how long it had been this time.
"It's Thursday, love. I've been waiting a long time to hear your voice again." He leaned down and placed another soft kiss on my lips. I reveled in his touch that I had longed for in my dreams.
I tried to sit up, but was to weak and my arms were no help. Edward caught on to what I was trying to do and propped me up with pillows and moved my bed to an upright position. I felt a deep pain in my stomach and side but ignored it, not wanting to alarm Edward.
I looked around the room at all the flowers and balloons and gave Edward a confused look.
"Alice and Rose raided the hospital gift shop. You can give them shit the next time they're here." He looked down at his phone. "Which should be in a few hours."
"They've come to see me?" I didn't remember anyone but Edward being here when I woke up. Well, except for that one time that Jasper was pacing around, but that was only for a split second.
"Yes Love, Rose, Alice, Emmett and Jasper have all been here. And my mom and dad too. I practically have to kick Jasper out each night." He laughed and ran a hand through his hair.
"When can we go home?" I know I just woke up and all, but I needed to go home. Now. I hated hospitals and wanted to go home, to a place where I felt safe and comfortable so that I could start putting the pieces together of what happened.
"Umm.... Soon I hope. You need to be able to keep food down first. You haven't eaten anything in almost two weeks sweetie. The feeding tube didn't do much for you." He rubbed his hand over my hipbone which kind of hurt. I looked under the covers and pulled up my gown seeing my hipbones more prominent than usual. "Carlisle said that once you woke and stayed awake for a few hours that you should be able to go. They've already done all the tests and X-Rays that needed to be done so…"
I cut Edward off. It was rude, I know, but he would forgive me. I just wanted to get the hell out of here.
"Oh. Ok. Well, bring me some food. I want to go home." The urgency to get the hell out of this place was hitting me, and I wanted to go now.
Edward cupped my cheek lightly in his hand and kissed my lips. "Soon B. Soon. But you just woke up, and we can't rush things. Carlisle should be here any minute to check on you. I had the nurses page him."
I nodded, trying to find the courage to ask my next question.
"James?" His name barely left my mouth as the tears began to flow. Edward wiped them away as fast as they came, trying not to touch my swollen cheek. "Where's James? What happened?"
Edward took his seat and grabbed both of my hands in his. He stared at my eyes for several moments before starting.
"We took care of him. After we... found you.... I took...care of him. He's in jail awaiting trial. According to Ben and Detective Ruder, this is his last offense and he will be serving life with no chance of parole." He was trying hard to control his voice the anger seeping through.
My own anger was starting to stir at the fact that James was even out in the first place. According to Ben, he shouldn't have ever seen the light of day again.
I would be having a talk with Ben when this was all over. If I knew Edward at all, I'm sure that Ben has already had more than his fare share of talks already.
"How the hell was he even out in the first place? He was supposed to be in jail!" I was yelling at this point, but didn't care much if anyone heard me. I needed some damn answers of what happened and why the hell this fucker had turned my life upside down yet again.
Edward kissed my forehead before continuing, picking his words carefully, probably so that he wouldn't get himself worked up again. "I know B. I know. That's what we all thought. Ben's here and he's been doing some research for us. In November, he got sentenced and went to the state penitentiary, but Ben was wrong, and he wasn't in for life, yet. He was only going to be serving a two-year sentence, and because of that, he was put into the work release program where he worked a day job at a factory. Apparently it was supposed to be heavily monitored, but he escaped. Ben thinks that James had someone that worked at the factory helping him, because the surveillance videos don't show his escape at all. He had been out just two days before he got to you. I have had a lot of time to think about this B; a lot of time, and my minds been racing as to why they would even think to put him into the work release program with his background. What were they fucking thinking? It's supposed to be set up for criminals that are on good behavior and that they feel they can trust. Fucking James can't be trusted, I just don't understand!" Edward's grip on my hand tightened as he became more worked up. I couldn't blame him. He's had to sit for the last almost two weeks wondering about my fate, pondering idea after idea, and it all comes back to the fact that the system failed us by allowing James some freedom.
"Edward, calm down. You gotta calm down. It's over now. It's over." I tried to get his hand back, but he pushed away from the bed and began to pace. I would deal with what happened to me later, but for now I had to make Edward understand that I was safe and alive. "I'm here E. I'm ok now. Calm down and talk to me."
He glared at me with teary eyes. "You're ok now? B, have you looked in the mirror? Do you even remember what he did to you?" His voice grew angrier, and I knew that I hurt, that he had done a number on me and I assumed that the person in the mirror didn't look ok in Edward's eyes.
I fought back the tears that were coming. I did know what he did to me. I tried so damn hard to forget what he did to me. I didn't know what I looked like at this moment, or when they found me, but I did know what he did to me, and would never forget.
"I remember what he did to me." I said with nothing more than a whisper, looking down at my hand, which was folded in my lap. I tried to hold back the tears, but the floodgate were open and they came rushing out reliving the nightmare that I went through.
Edward was at my side once again and grabbed my hand between his own. Tears streamed down his face.
"I'm sorry B. I'm sorry that I was so insensitive. Of course you know what he did to you. I'm sorry I'm such an ass. It's just that I'm so fucking horrified at what he did to my Angel." His eyes were red, and I tried to catch the tears that were streaming down his cheeks but he wouldn't let my hands go. "I thought I lost you B. I thought you died. I almost killed him. I did. But you told me to stop. And I did. For you."
I stared into his eyes, eyes so full of regret and sorrow. "I'm here E. You didn't lose me. And I'm glad you didn't kill him. He deserves to rot in jail for the rest of his life."
"I knew you would say that. Do you want to talk about what happened?" He was so sincere and had the best intentions, but I couldn't talk about it right now. Later, when I was done physically healing I would start the process of mending my mind.
"Not yet. Tell me though, what condition am I in? My body feels like it's been ran over with a semi or something." I tried to laugh but was cut off by the sharp pain in my side.
Edward's eyes went wide, but I shrugged it off.
"Umm.... well, you have a 3 inch incision on the side of your head from the surgery, and a fractured bone under your left eye, and of course I'm sure you feel your black eye. Umm...the rest of your face and neck are bruised along with your collarbone, and your arms. You have two broken ribs, and bruises covering your thighs and hips. And your nipple where the ring sits was...tore pretty bad...B.... what happened? What did he do to it?" His voice was pained. It was such a private area James had touched and I knew it was killing Edward to know that another man had put his hands on me in that way.
The memories were clear in my head, and I remembered the pain in that moment making me cringe. "He...umm...saw the piercings...and umm...he twisted it...and the more he twisted it...the more I screamed...and he.... loved to hear me scream." I swallowed back a little bit of bile at the thought and shut my eyes not wanting to see Edward's reaction.
His grip on my hand tightened and I opened my eyes to meet Edwards. They were full of tears again that were falling over his beautiful face. His eyes looked broken and empty.
"I'm so sorry I wasn't there B. I promised to take care of you, and I didn't. Please forgive me, please. I love you so fucking much! I'm so sorry, baby." Edward dropped his head in defeat as his body shook as he cried.
I cradled his head in my chest as he cried. "I'm the one that was so fucking stupid baby. What was I thinking going out so late by myself? I'm the one that should apologize. I promise I will never, ever go out alone like that ever again. I love you too E. So fucking much! Please don't blame this on yourself. We aren't going to get anywhere if you continue to blame yourself for what happened to me." I kissed his forehead before he looked up and nodded once at me.
"And I promise to never let you go out like that alone again." A small smile played along his lips, but didn't reach his eyes.
A knock on the door brought us out of our conversation, and I saw Carlisle in the doorway.
"Bella, its so nice to see you awake!" He smiled as he walked closer, reading my chart and checking the machines. "How are you feeling?" He rubbed his hand up my leg comfortingly just like a father.
"Sore, but better. A lot better. When can I go home?" I wasn't going to beat around the bush. Carlisle or no Carlisle, I was going to make it perfectly clear what my wishes were.
"As soon as I give you the clear, and if you can keep some food down, I don't see why you can't go home. I'm sure Edward won't leave you out of his sight at all. Probably take better care of you than you get here." He laughed dryly as he rubbed Edward's shoulder.
A nurse brought in a tray of toast and applesauce a while later, which I slowly ate, not wanting to vomit if I ate to fast. Carlisle sat and talked with Edward while I ate, and an hour later, the food was still sitting well in my stomach and I was hopeful that I would get the clear to get out of this place once and for all.
I had been awake for several hours and was ready to get the hell away from the white walls. Carlisle's a doctor; he should have some pull around here.
"So...what do you think Carlisle? Can I go home now?" I wanted to leave and was making it as apparent as possible.
"Well, I guess I'm going to have a hard time finding reasons to make you stay, so I will send in a nurse to get your IV out. Why don't you get dressed and wait for me." He stopped and looked at Edward. "There's something I need to talk to the two of you about and I think now is about the best time as any."
"OK." Is all I could get out. From the looks of Edward, he didn't know what it was about either. I figured that he needed to go over my after care and injuries and all that jazz, but deep down knew there was more to it than just that.
The nurse named Kate, whom Edward seemed to know well came in and took my IV out. The beeping of the machines stopped and I thanked the heavens for killing the annoying sound.
Kate helped me dress in some clothes that Alice had brought me. A pair of loose fitting yoga pants, a t-shirt and Edwards 'Cullen' sweatshirt. She was really sweet and caring, and helped me with the uttermost caution over my bruises and ribs.
I declined the bra knowing how much more pain it would add to my already sore nipple. I made my way to the bathroom and groaned in pain as I tried to pee. Edward was immediately in there trying to be off any assistance, but I couldn't bear to ask him to help me. It didn't bother me to let him see me in the bathroom, but to ask him to help me…uh…wipe was a different story.
After I was all done in the bathroom, Edward propped himself on my bed while I laid into his side, careful of my ribs as we cuddled like I had imagined for so long.
Carlisle came in a few minutes later with Esme at his side. She enveloped me in a loose hug careful not to touch my injuries and kissed my head before pulling away.
"Bella, Edward, I know that there is doctor/ patient confidentiality, but I thought I would have Esme sit in with us if that's alright." He looked at us as we both nodded.
Edward sat us up and wrapped his arm around my waist as he took hold of my other hand that was sitting between my legs. He was very cautious of my injuries and knew my body better than I could have imagined.
Carlisle scratched his head nervously not wanting to make eye contact as he shut the door and took a seat in front of us, Esme at his side.
"Bella, I wanted to wait until you were coherent to talk to the two of you together. I didn't think it would be fair if I told Edward first." Carlisle looked at Esme to gage her reaction, she clearly didn't have a clue of what was going on either.
"Told Edward what?" I said as tears streamed down my eyes preparing myself for the worst but hoping for the best. Edward's grasp tightened on my side, and even though it hurt like hell over my bruises, I wasn't going to tell him to let go. He was bracing us for what Carlisle was going to say next and I needed him to hold me together in any way he could.
"I'd like to ask you a few questions, if that's alright." I nodded for Carlisle to continue, wanting to know what he was getting at. "Bella, how have you been feeling lately? Any shortness of breath, feeling overly tired, dizziness or feel like your heart is going a mile a minute?" Carlisle was looking through my file and jotting notes down.
"All the time. Actually, it's been like that for the past few months. We've been so busy with Rose and the baby, the shop and our trip to Vegas. I've been wearing myself out. I know I gotta take better care of myself. I need to get caught up on my sleep." I wondered how he knew all of this seeing as I hadn't said anything, and I didn't realize that Edward noticed my tiredness. I figured I just needed to get back in shape, hadn't hit the gym for a few months or something.
Carlisle just stared at me for a few minutes with eyes that were so full of sadness that I had to look away. My heart sunk and I fell further into Edward's side as I started to put two and two together with some of my symptoms that I had given.
I knew what Carlisle was about to tell us.
I felt it, just by looking in his eyes.
"Did you guys know that...you were… pregnant?"
I looked over at Edward who was looking back at me. His eyes were full of tears and a small smile formed on his face. He looked back over to his father for clarification. "What?"
Carlisle continued. "Well, from the looks on your faces, you didn't know. From my calculations and tests I took, I would say you were about 3 months along or so."
A thrill of joy went over my body at the thought of being pregnant, and my hands immediately went for my stomach.
Then dread set in at the words he had used and the look on his face.
"W-what do you mean 'were' 3 months along Carlisle?" I stared at his face that was now streamed with tears.
Edward didn't say anything, but his grip tightened on my side and I cried out in pain. He loosened his hold only slightly and began to shake. I couldn't even look at him, knowing the look on his face would be enough to make me completely lose any amount of sanity I had left.
"I'm sorry Bella. The baby... didn't... make... it. The...attack.... it was too much… it took a toll on your body...and you...you had a miscarriage. On top of that, your blood type is RH-negative and the fetus' was RH-positive. From the looks of your injuries, you were struck in the stomach, causing your blood to mix with the fetuses. Your antibodies attacked the fetus's red blood cells. You lost a lot of blood, and by the time we realized that you were pregnant, it was to late. I also think you have what is called Supraventricular tachycardia (SVT). It's when your heart beats to fast for reasons other than normal circumstances. I would assume that due to your situation you were pretty overwhelmed and it probably brought on an attack, which made your body start to shut down. The injuries to your head were the doctor's first priority and if they would have known you were pregnant, they could have tried to stop the bleeding and given you meds to slow your heart rate. I'm so sorry Bella, Edward." Carlisle looked defeated with the information he had given us. Much like I felt.
My body gave out on me as I looked to Esme who had her hand over her mouth and clenched Carlisle's leg at the fact that she was going to be a grandma to our child, and now she wasn't. My head became heavy as I leaned all my weight into Edward. His body wasn't the only one shaking now.
I heard a high-pitched screaming, and wondered where it was coming from. Tight arms wrapped around my own, and I realized that the screaming was coming from me.
My hand, which was still around my stomach, grasped tighter, thinking about Edward and my baby that was alive in there only 2 weeks ago.
I didn't even know I was pregnant.
I tried to think back on anything that would have told me I was pregnant. I didn't have regular periods, so not having one for 3 months was not unusual. But the headaches, the…what I thought was the flu and being starving hungry all the time, and....the late night craving for ice cream. Oh!
I cried into Edward's chest as he held me tight. He didn't say anything, just held me as close as possible trying to comfort me, and also trying to find comfort for himself. I didn't care what pain his arms caused me. I welcomed the pain, hoping that it would dull my other senses.
EPOV
Bella was pregnant with our child.
Our chances of even conceiving a child were slim to none, and the small window that we were given, she had gotten pregnant.
And James took our dream away.
I held Bella as she cried into my chest, screaming in pain. I held her tightly, but she didn't try to get away from my grasp needing the comfort just as much as I did.
She was screaming over the loss of our child.
Our child.
I cried right along with her as she clung to me for dear life.
I was her life preserver as she was mine.
I didn't think things could get any worse than my fiancé getting beaten almost to death and attempted to be raped, but then he had to take our child away from us too.
Carlisle went on to explain that what Bella had was known as RH Sensitization. If she had known she was pregnant, she would have gone in and gotten an Rh Immune Globulin shot because of her blood type. But we didn't know she was pregnant. And even if she had gotten the shot, the attack would have been too much on her. And then he explained SVT a little more in depth and told me what to watch for and that she would need to go on medication to control it. I tried to listen the best I could knowing that Bella wasn't able to comprehend anything right now. My mind was in over load with the news that we were pregnant, and then we lost the baby, and now that Bella has a rare disease, which can make her body shut down if not treated.
I didn't know how much more I could take in one day.
Carlisle gave me a few prescriptions for Bella and told me he was going to keep this between us, that we could tell everyone else in our own time. He explained that Bella would need to take it easy for a while to let her body heel, which I already knew. They typically didn't let people out of the hospital right away after a miscarriage, but Bella had already been here for almost two weeks and that part of her body was healing. Carlisle and Esme gave us each a kiss and made their way out of the room so we could have some privacy.
Bella and I were left to cry by ourselves. Cry for the trauma she had just been through and the loss of our child.
After a few more minutes I realized we needed to get home. She would be more comfortable in our own home so we could grieve together.
I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her forehead.
"B? Are you ready to go home sweetie?" She nodded in agreement and I stood us up, her body leaning heavily into my side. I tried to be careful of her injured body. I grabbed the few things I had sitting around and threw them into a duffle bag that I slung over my shoulder, and figured that Alice could come in and grab the rest of the flowers and shit to bring home for us. Nothing else mattered right now. I just wanted to get my fiancé home so we could deal with this in our own way.
Bella refused to let go of me to get in a wheel chair and was too weak to walk, so I picked her up and carried her in my arms. Her arms were wrapped tightly around my neck never loosening their hold. I tried to be as careful with her fragile body as I could, knowing that my hold on her were causing her pain.
Rose, Alice, Jasper and Emmett were in the waiting room and stood when we passed them all anxious to see Bella now that she had been awake for most of the day. Distraught looks crossed their faces as I tried not to make eye contact and kept moving towards the door. I'm sure the scene in front of them caused those looks, but in that moment the only thing I was worried about was getting my Bella home.
I gave my dad a nod, and carried Bella slowly to my car, which Emmett had drove over for me sometime in the last week. I helped her ease in and buckled her seat belt for her. I made it over to my own side took a deep breath and got in. We sat there for several minutes in silence. Bella's hands were in her lap as she stared at the floor. Her entire body shaking, face blank with no emotion.
I dried my eyes and drove us home. I held her hand in my own as we drove in silence.
We pulled into the parking garage and sat there. She didn't want to let go of my hand, and I had to pry her little bruised hands off my own. Finally, I was able to get her to let go. I left everything in the car and went around to her side to get her out. She wasn't moving, frozen in shock.
I carefully pulled her out and carried her up to our apartment as she laid in my arms dead weight.
We made it into our apartment, and as soon as I shut the door, she began crying again, but insisted that I let her down. I did as she requested, as she fell to the floor on her knees. I went down with her as she reached her arms around my neck and pulled me tightly to her again.
She was shaking so hard that I didn't know what to do to help her.
All I could do was cry with her.
We stayed there, in the entryway of our apartment for hours, just holding one another grieving for our baby.
No words were spoken.
There were no words to speak.
Our baby was gone because of James.
He tried to take my Bella away from me, and almost succeeded, but in the process took the precious life that we didn't even know existed yet.
How were we supposed to recover from this?
Were we going to recover?
A/N: PLEASE don't hate on me! If you think about this situation realistically, Bella and Edward's baby wouldn't have made it through that horrid attack.
SVT and RH Sensitization are real. Google them if you want more information. THANK YOU Miiss Myers for your help with this hard subject! I don't know what I would do without you!
Please know that this chapter was really difficult to write and I know that some of you are going to be upset with the miscarriage, but just think about it a little before you go sending me hate mail.
I do promise that there will be NO further bad things that happen to our dear Bella. How much more could she take? From here, Bella and Edward are going to work on healing together, which is going to be a process, but know that they will stick together and get through things as a couple.
There is good to come for our favorite duo.
I can't tell you how thrilled I am that we made it over 500 reviews with that last chapter. Writing is really personal to me and I am just excited and overwhelmed that a good majority have taken the time to read and review the chapters. I just…ugh! Thank you! *tears running down my cheeks*
There are almost 300 people that have this story on their favorites. If you could each shoot over some love by pushing that green button down there, you'd make my day!
Next chapter is all EPOV and I'll even sneak a little teaser your way if you show me some love.
Thank you all my lovelies!