DISCLAIMER:I do not own any of the Twilight series characters I use, Trust me I wish I owned Carlisle oh boy do I, they belong to Stephanie Mayer and only her. BUT I do own Samantha, Celia and other characters I made up so if you use them with out my permission I will torture you got it? Good ENJOY!
Prayers in bold print.

My days with Carlisle and Edward seemed to pass by in a flash, it was like we had this routine that we didn't even know existed. Carlisle would arrive home just as dawn broke, always so careful, always so calm. I didn't understand how he managed while I was tearing apart at the seams. I never knew what emotion would flood through me next. It was all they could do until night fall to let me loose outside again away from the general population. Being cooped up began to drive me mad. It wasn't long before they were suggesting that we move to a more secluded place to give me more freedom. I tried my best to rein myself in, but I often flew off the handle for no apparent reason. I felt guilty for this when flashes of my previous life bubbled up.
Later that morning Carlisle sat down and discussed his transformation with me. I couldn't imagine the pain that flooded him, and how alone he felt. I was able to see him in a new light. He didn't do this to hurt me, but he was trying to help me. I understood that now, and I couldn't hate him for it. He was hoping some of that lost vivacity would still come through. He never got mad at me, even though I deserved it. Sometimes I felt like he was exasperated with my antics, but he never showed his anger. He did however have to restrain me a few times."O most holy apostle, St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus, people honor and invoke you universally, as the patron of hopeless cases, of things almost despaired of. Pray for me, for I am so helpless and alone. Please help to bring me visible and speedy assistance. Come to my assistance in this great need that I may receive the consolation and help of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations, and sufferings, and that I may praise God with you always." I whispered, my hand grasping the cross so tightly I was afraid it may break with my new strength. Slowly I opened my eyes, having closed them in the middle of my prayer, and gazed at Carlisle. His eyes where on me, a smile on his lips "very good Samantha, I assume he's your favorite then if you know his prayer by heart" he chuckled as he placed the candle into the box.
Of all the times to not be able to blush...."yes, he is actually. He really helped me when it came to the-" I stopped mid-sentence bit the inside of my cheek. I hadn't told Carlisle about the abuse. I hadn't told anyone, hell I didn't even think about it so Edward couldn't see. That little part of my past was a dirty secret I wanted to keep locked away in a vault that was in the back of my mind, hoping I would never open it under any circumstances.
"I'm sorry...if you'll excuse me" my voice was barley noticeable but it was there. Quickly I ran up the stairs, down the long hall and into my bed chambers. I slammed the door shut, my back against the wood, and slid down it slowly. My eyes where towards the ceiling, the feeling of wanting to cry over powered every sense in my small newborn body. Slowly I closed my eyes, slowly taking in one breath before slowly saying what I desperately needed to say.
"Lord Jesus Christ, King of kings, you have power over life and death. You know even things that are uncertain and obscure, and our very thoughts and feelings are not hidden from you. Cleanse me from my secret faults, and I have done wrong and you saw it. You know how weak I am, both in soul and in body. Give me strength, O Lord, in my frailty and sustain me in my sufferings. Grant me a prudent judgment, dear Lord, and let me always be mindful of your blessings. Let me retain until the end your grace that has protected me till now."
The words fell off my icy rose petal colored lips like a harps tune, sugur coated in my own sorrow, with the slightest hint of love in them. A knock came at my door; my body froze as the scent of the man waiting for my answer wafted threw the cracks. "Carlisle please I would like to be left alone" I struggled with everything I was to not break into a fit of sobs.
"Samantha, please let me in. I just want to talk with you" I could here the concern and sweetness in his musical, loving, voice. How could I decline him, he was my maker, the reason I was alive, and truthfully...I had fallen head over heels in love with the blond angel.
With deliberate slowness I got to my feet, brushing off the crimson satin of my dress with one hand I hesitantly placed my hand on the knob and twisted it slightly, just enough so the door opened enough for me to peek my head out. Slowly I looked out the crack of the door and up at Carlisle, my orange-gold eyes locking with his heart thumping topaz ones. "What do you need to talk to me about Carlisle?" I bit my lower lip softly, I grasped the door knob tightly in my hand, surly there would be dents once I released the cool metal. Slowly Carlisle placed his hand on the wood of the door and pushed gentally, it fully opened with little protest and he stepped inside my darkened bed chamber. I turned from him, looking at the wall as I heard the door softly close behind him "You seemed upset Samantha, please tell me what's wrong" he whispered, his foot steps creaking against the wood flooring as he walked the short distance from the door to me. I bit the inside of my cheek again, having released my lip after he came in, and slowly crossed my arms over my chest. I grasped my upper arms with strength to break humans fragile bones, my nails dug through the fabric of my sleeves and bit into my skin. I didn't even flinch.
Something touched my bare shoulder--my dress hugged the tops of my arms-- and slowly run down my arm, a shudder ran threw my body at the small touch. With his free hand Carlisle pushed the chocolate hair from my other shoulder, his finger tips gracing my skin with his icy touch. "Please..." he whispered, his voice pleading with me to tell him everything in my head." I-I...." Biting my lip a squeezed my arms tighter, but he pried them off, making my hands fall to my sides. I felt something press against my back, it was hard, warm. I guessed it was his chest. Slowly I tried o move but his grip on my arms was to strong for me to break. Heat coursed through my dry vains, sending shocks down my spine and to where ever he touched me, I felt my breath start to become was happening to me?
"Samantha..." Carlisle's voice, his warm breath, tickled my ear. Another shudder raked my body." you used to talk about her in your sleep" my eyes widened, I froze, I didn't breath."Wh-who Carlisle?" I stammered, my hands balling into fists.
"Your mother...you used to talk about her when you dreamed. You seemed...frightened almost. What exactly happened to her?"
The question made me clench my fists more, my long nails piercing the fine alabaster skin of my palms "She...she was murdered when I was four. I witnessed the entire thing. My father took the only person who gave a damn about me away." I couldn't fight it any more; I doubled over in a fit of convulsive sobs. Carlisle caught me easily, falling to his knees as he did so. I dry sobbed, my cries and shouts of sorrow and anguish falling from my lips like the curses my father would yell. Carlisle held me, rocking me back and forth slowly as he tried to hush me."Shh...Samantha hush. Please darling it will be cry I hate seeing you like this" he whispered, smoothing my hair and kissing my cheek, my jaw, my neck....anything to calm me in some way.
"Fill the emptiness of their victim hearts. With the fire of your divine love. So as to transform their losses. Into a healing power. For themselves and for our world.
Amen." The small prayer he whispered to me rang in my mind over and over, never ceasing. Slowly I looked at Carlisle, our gazes locking for what seemed forever, My heart should have been thumping loudly in my ears, but it was as cold and silent as a rock. His lips where inches from mine, if I just moved....before I could do anything Carlisle moved his hand slowly to my hair, knotting the curly strands in his fingers then closing his hand into a fist. "Car-Carlisle?" I stammered, hoping in the pit of my heart that I wasn't dreaming."Im here Samantha....I'll always be here for you" he whispered before softly pressing his icy lips to mine in a fired kiss that could have set the entire house and forest on fire. Truthfully I wouldn't care.

As time went on, I began to calm. Little things bothered me less and less, and I was more in control of my thoughts and actions. It no longer felt as if I was being controlled by some alien being. I was also learning how to control myself around humans, ignoring the burn and desire to feed on them. Carlisle and Edward had made the decision to move either way. I had reeked havoc and people were starting to ask questions. They, and I, thought it best to find a new place to go. They didn't seem upset about picking up and leaving their home. I began to feel bad, as if it was my entire fault.

"We'll have to move either way." Carlisle told me one day "We've been here long enough. Try not to believe it's your actions alone." He assure me as he packed the last box, I blinked a couple times as I watched him. He was packing away some candles that I had found oh so appealing, they had the saints on them with small prayers. My favorite was the Saint Jude candle, the one he now held ever so carefully, the prayer for the particular saint ran threw my mind. Little did I know it also flowed from my lips as well.

__________________

There is so much a man can tell you,
So much he can say.
You remain,
My power, my pleasure, my pain....

Chapter 3 teehee, wow i finally got it up, might get chap 4 up today

Jai Xo