Let's try to get a little humor into this story, shall we?

Disclaimer: Fangface is owned by Ruby-Spears Production Co. (who are lucky)

Chapter Four

Flames, Letters, Chipmunks, and Girl Talk

Biff opened his eyes, staring at the Beatles poster that was pinned to his bedroom ceiling. He was always a fan of their music, always smiling and singing along when one of their classic songs would come onto the radio, or play on his record player.

But ever since Kim left, no Beatles song could lift his spirits. He slowly got out of bed and walked down to the kitchen, to the fridge, and grabbed a carton of eggs. His little brother, Shane, sat at the table, watching cartoons on the small TV on the counter, but his eyes fell on Biff as soon as he saw him reach into the fridge.

"You're not going to try to cook again, are you?" Shane asked his big brother. "After what happened last time?"

Biff recalled last time-- he was helping his mom bake cookies for the local bake sale, but he ended up burning them by accident. "That was an accident," he said, not looking at his brother. "Besides, I'm not that bad a cook." He opened the egg carton, seeing that there was only one egg left. He put it back and grabbed a bowl and a box of cereal instead.

"Are you kidding? Everything you make bursts into flames!"

"That's not true. Just because I burned a few cookies, doesn't automatically--- Augh!!" Biff freaked out, seeing that his cereal had unexpectingly caught fire after he poured on the milk. He grabbed a glass, poured water into it, and doused his breakfast. Shane chuckled and he shot him a warning glance. He tossed away the burnt cereal and got out some oatmeal, pouring some into a new bowl and putting water on it. He put it in the microwave… and within seconds it caught fire. "Whoa!" Biff grabbed another glass of water and doused the flames. Shane snickered, and Biff glared at him again. Finally, he grabbed a couple pieces of bread, stuck them in the toaster---

*KA-BOOM!!* And the whole thing exploded once he pushed the lever down, leaving behind a pile of ashes.

Shane stifled a laugh. "Told you so,"

Biff sighed and grabbed his jacket. "I'm going out for breakfast."

"Okay, see ya."

"See ya." Biff nodded goodbye to his brother and walked out the door.

Puggsy didn't mind being ignored by his parents. He had grown used to his dad giving him the cold shoulder and his mom walking out of the room every time he entered. It was no big deal for him. He'd had worse treatment from others.

The only thing that bothered him about it was hearing his name in conversation, then whichever parent mentioned it would stop talking when they saw him listening. That's why he didn't spend much time at the house these days.

He was in the alley, writing a letter to a pen-pal of his-- yeah, he had a pen-pal-- and one of the guys in Snake's gang, Craig, caught him. "Who ya writin' to, Puggsy?" he asked.

"Just a friend from Germany, Craig." Puggsy replied, not looking up from his letter.

"You got a friend in Germany? …Wait, since when did you go to Australia?"

"Germany ain't in Australia, ya knucklehead. Everybody knows it's in Europe. And, no, I've never been there."

"Then how come your writin' to this guy if you've never met him in person? Come to think of it, how did you even get his address?"

Puggsy rolled his eyes. "It's called having a pen-pal, Craig. It was a sort of thing we did at school that taughtify us to write letters."

"So how's come you're still doing it? You's ain't in school no more."

Puggsy shrugged. "It kind of became a habit between us."

"Ah… so what's your pen-pal's name?"

"I think his name was… Rudolf."

Craig snickered. "Rudolf? Seriously?!" he burst out laughing, rolling on the ground. "L-like the red-nosed reindeer?! Hah!"

"Alright, shaddap!" Puggsy smacked Craig upside the head with his letter. "You're starting to bugify me!"

"Sheesh, don't take it so personally, man!" Craig got up and left.

"Ignorpotomas." Puggsy looked at his watch. 4 o'clock. Only 6 hours to go before his next match. Seeing a pretty redhead girl pass by, he decided to take a break from writing and talk to someone else. "Well, hello there, sweet-heart."

The redhead turned around and sneered at him. "Back off, slime ball." And she kept walking.

Puggsy sighed. His game wasn't good nowadays, especially since he spent more of his time with guys rather than girls… Uh, in a gang-member sort of way, that is! He saw another girl, blonde, walk by, and he put on his best smile. "Hey, baby, going my way?"

"You wish," The blonde girl sneered.

A brunette girl walked by next. Puggsy began walking toward her, but tripped over his shoelace, and by instinct, grabbed the girl's hand to steady himself. Unfortunately, that's not how she saw it.

"Eek! Let go out me, you creep!" She shrieked, then grabbed her pepper-spray and sprayed Puggsy's eyes, and then ran off.

"Aaiiiiiiiiieeeeeeee!!!" Puggsy screamed, falling to the ground and rubbing the heels of his hands in his eyes, trying to cease the burning. "I'm blindified!"

"Whoa, Puggsy! You okay, dude?!" Another one of Snake's gang members, Jonny, ran over to help him up. "I was getting kicked outta the drug store when I saw that chick spray ya."

"Whoever said it was okay for a girl to spritzify a guy in the eyes with pepper spray, was a total pin-brain!" Puggsy blinked several times, still feeling the burn.

"You gonna be all right? Ya want me to get ya some water to wash the sting outta your eyes?"

"Nah, I'll be fine." Puggsy stood up, turned to the left…

…and walked right into the wall. "Stay here, I'll be right back." Jonny ran off.

Puggsy rubbed his head. His vision was still a little blurred and his eyes still burned like crazy, but his vision eventually cleared up. He took out his letter, deciding-- since Jonny insisted he wait-- to continue writing. So far, his letter read…

"Dear Rudolf,

Sorry I haven't written in a while. I've been having a few problems, namely with my parents-- just typical stuff, so don't get concerned. I've been trying to take a few pictures and send them to you, but apparently my camera's still busterated. I have another boxing match later, and so far I've gone undefeated."

He examined the letter, seeing that so far he's been talking about himself. He began to write…

"But enough about me, how's life been treating you?"

He paused, running out of words to write. Jonny came running up to him, carrying a bottle of water. "Here, Puggsy, dump this on your eyes…" he said, then saw the letter. "Who ya writing to?"

"Pen-pal." Puggsy said.

"Ah, I had one of those once. Stopped writing to him after he went on death row." Jonny laughed and slapped his knee. Puggsy just rolled his eyes. Picking up the letter, the gang-member let out a low whistle of astonishment as he read the return address. "Bavaria, huh? Quite a ways away. I heard there's a couple castles there. …Does he live in a castle?"

Puggsy scoffed."I doubt it. If he did, he'd probably be too busy to write."

"Never have doubts on people, man. Not until you really know them, at least." A police siren wailed in the distance, and Jonny took off. "I'll catch up with ya later! Good luck at the fight!"

Puggsy shook his head. "That kid's going to end up in jail one of these days," he grabbed the bottle of water, poured some in his hand, and splashed it in his eyes to stop the burning. He looked around the neighborhood, seeing a few gang members run here and there (one of them turned and waved at him, then ended up running into a 'Stop' sign), there was a sound of tires screeching followed by a crash, and a police squad car rushed by in the direction Jonny was running. Puggsy continued to write…

"You've once told me that Bavaria is a beautiful country. Living in Brooklyn my whole life, I wouldn't doubt it. I'd like to visit there someday… Actually, I'd like to see the whole world, but it's just another American dream for me.

Sincerely, Puggsy.

P.S. A friend of mine wants to know if you live in a castle."

He folded up the letter and stuck it in an envelope. Walking down to the nearest mailbox, he slid it in, and it was on it's way from there. Jonny ran past him, with a quick, "Hey, Puggsy!" and ran down the sidewalk, only to be tackled by two police men from behind at the end of the block.

"I'd hold it, if I were you!" One of the cops threatened.

"Ah, c'mon, guys!" Jonny grunted. "I didn't know that water belonged to one of you's! Honest!"

Puggsy looked at the water bottle, noticing a suspicious trace of backwash in it… which he had splashed on his face. "Yech!" he cried, throwing the bottle and wiping his face. "That's the last time I acceptify a gift from Jonny."

Fangface hated having to stay in the backyard behind the fence every time he wanted to step outside. "Sheesh, chase after the mail-man one time when you're six, and you pay for it the rest of your life." he grunted.

Clunk!

An acorn fell on his head. Looking up, he saw a chipmunk sitting on a branch above him, staring. He shrugged, then continued vegetating under the tree, enjoying the warm afternoon.

Clunk!

Another acorn hit his head. "Huh?" he looked up, seeing the same chipmunk, chattering at him. "Hey, what's the big idea?!" he growled. "You got a problem with me sitting under this tree, (grr) or are you just---"

Clunk! Clunk!

The chipmunk threw two more acorns at him, this time hitting him in the face. "That does it!" he jumped up into the tree. The leaves rustled as a fight went on, growls and squeaking disturbing the solitude of the afternoon. Suddenly, there was silence…

"Augh!" Sherman screamed, falling out of the tree, the chipmunk biting his nose (something tells me Fangface saw the sun). He ran around the backyard frantically. "Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! SOMEONE GET THIS THING OFF MY FACE, ALREADY!!!"

Mrs. Fangsworth ran out to help her son. "Sherman! What in the world…?!" she yelled.

The chipmunk finally let go of Sherman's face and scurried back up the tree, leaving behind tiny bite marks and scratches on the teenager's face. "Where'd it go?!" Sherman gasped. "I blacked out. Did you shoot it?"

"No, honey. It just ran back up the tree."

"Good! I hope it stays there! Psycho little furball tried to eat my face!"

"What… exactly happened?"

Sherman thought about it. "I-- I don't remember. All I remember is watching TV, then a Dracula movie came on… The last thing I saw was the moon on TV before I blacked out, and I had this weird dream that I was lounging in the backyard, and acorns were hitting my head, and I saw the chipmunk, and then I chased after it. …Next thing I know, I'm in the tree and there's a crazy hairball attacking my face! …Mom?"

"Yes, son?"

"Was I sleep-walking…" he looked up at the tree. "And sleep-climbing, again?"

His mom sighed. She wanted to convince her son that it was no dream, that he was a werewolf, but the last time she tried, he had thought she-- along with the rest of the family-- were crazy, or trying to scare him. It only upset him when the subject was brought up. "Yes, you were just sleep-walking --- and climbing--- again. Now, c'mon. Let's go take care of those scratches."

"I hope that thing wasn't rabid." Sherman rubbed his face and looked back at the tree. The chipmunk popped out and stuck its tongue out at him. "Hey! Did you see---"

"Let's go, Sherman." Sally pulled her son inside, before he could get into another fight with the chipmunk.

Kim walked around the college campus, looking at all the buildings around her. Her friend, Sally Boyd, walked with her. "So, did you hear about Professor Arnos?" she asked.

"No. What is it this time?" Kim asked.

"He was caught doing 'unnecessary' experiments again. From what I heard my dad say, they were a bit extreme."

"Extreme as in… dangerous?"

"Nah, extreme as in goofing around. Of course dangerous, Kimmy! Sooner or later, he's going to go too far, and then he'll get fired…"

Kim sighed half-heartedly. "Yeah, that would be bad."

"You okay, Kim? You've been a bit down, lately."

"I'm just… a little homesick. …Don't get me wrong, this University is a great place! But I…"

Sally grinned. "You miss your boyfriend, don't you?"

Kim turned to Sally angrily. "I told you, he's not my boyfriend! He's just my friend…"

"Who's a boy…"

"Sally!"

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry! …But you do miss him though, don't you?"

Kim smiled a little. "Yeah, I do."

"You gonna go home, then?"

"In a couple days, maybe."

"Hang around with your old friends and family?"

"You know it."

"Gonna make-out with Biff?"

Kim glowered at Sally. "One more comment from you---"

"Hey, I'm just joking! …But seriously, how good a kisser is he?"

Kim made a grab for Sally and she squealed, running off. Kim chased after her. "You'd better run! When I catch up with you---!"

A/N: It's about time something funny happened, huh? Also, see if you can guess how many "Get it off!"s are in this chapter. ;)

Please R/R. Unless you're taking cooking lessons from Biff, keep the flames to yourself.