It had been two weeks since Jason's arrest, two weeks since Jason said those words to her from behind bars and she couldn't get them out of her head. She began to wonder what kind of person she was for enjoying the fact that she destroyed his life beyond repair. She hated that she had gone that far, but Chuck was pushing her. He had convinced her that if she was going to get revenge, she should go all the way. She wondered if he would feel that way whenever she took her revenge on him. If she decided to do that at all. Yes, she was actually considering not getting revenge on Chuck Bass. It might be a stupid move, but she'd rather be stupid than stuck in that world. She had promised herself to change.

"Katrina?" Nate asked looking at her with a worried face. Her attention was brought to his wonderful blue eyes as he stared at her lost brown eyes. He had noticed that she had been a bit off since Jason's arrest. "Are you okay?"

"No…" she said realizing she was going to be completely honest. Usually, she would hide it with a forced smile or a laugh, but she was tired of pretending and, with Nate, she felt she shouldn't have to pretend. He would always know if she was pretending anyway.

"What's wrong? Does it have anything to do with Jason?"

"Yeah…I never told you this, but when I saw him in that cell, behinds those bars…I thought I would be satisfied. I wasn't. It wasn't like I wanted to crush him even more…it's just…I hated myself for putting him there. I don't know…I feel guilty. Sure, he deserved a lot of shit, but…he didn't deserve that. I know, I know…it's stupid to feel bad."

"It's not stupid, Katrina. It's okay to feel guilty. I'd be worried about you if you didn't."

"I don't know…I think I pushed it too far. I wanted to change. You know, Jason said something to me that day that I can't get out of my head. He told me to make the change I wanted to make and to not end up like the rest of us, especially him. He let me see into his soul. He was so…defeated. I don't think I've ever seen him like that, and I was the one that made him like that. I ruined his family's life. God, how does Chuck do this without a second thought?"

"Oh, trust me, he thinks about this more than you think. He's not completely cold-hearted. He just has to appear to have a thick skin. But…he has his weaknesses.

"Yeah, but can you pinpoint them out…and it's got to be one that's not Blair Waldorf."

"Well, there's…" Nate said trying to figure a weakness that he saw in Chuck, but he couldn't think of any besides Blair. He was head over heels in love with Blair and he even had feelings for Vanessa, even if he didn't admit it.

"See? He's got a pretty thick skin."

"Speaking of Chuck, he asked me when you were making your move. He wanted to know if you wanted to make it as challenging as possible." he said mocking Chuck's tone and mannerism when ever he talked.

"Well, you can tell him to rest easy. There won't be any retaliation from me. I'm throwing in the towel with him." she said and Nate looked shocked.

"Wait, you're not going get the revenge you swore you would get after you ruined Jason?! You're, seriously, shaken up by what Jason said to you, aren't you?"

"Yeah…call me weak, but…I feel like complete shit for doing that to you. Even after all that shit he had done to me, I still feel bad for him." she said as she picked up her cup of coffee and sipped from it. Nate felt helpless as he watched her. He wanted to tell her that everything was alright and he didn't hate her. He thought Jason deserved what he got, but it was killing him to see Katrina so torn over it. Still, he admired her for being wise enough to know she had gone too far and made a decision she wasn't happy with.

"Katrina, you are not weak. I think you are the strongest person I know. You're changing and that's a good thing."

"That's the problem, I'm not changing. Not on the inside. I'm still a bad person. I still want to step on people and backstab to get ahead. I still want to buy clothes that cost more than my grandmother's house. But, I hate being that person. Jason just made me face what I hated so much. You don't know what it's like to see someone so broken knowing it's you fault."

"You're right, I don't know what that feels like, but I do know Chuck does. Talk to him."

"Are you fucking high?! I'm not talking to him. I'd rather talk to Jason…" she said with a shiver of having to look in him the eye again. "I don't want that asshole knowing any of my deepest darkest fears and secrets. He'd probably use that shit later. What were you thinking?!"

"Look, I was just trying to help you out. I hate seeing you torn up about this."

"I know, but I'm not talking to Chuck. Hell no."

"Okay, who else can you talk to?"

"As much as I hate saying this…Jason."

"What?! Katrina, no." Nate said shaking his head. He didn't want Jason getting anywhere near her. He'd probably get in her head and cause her to slip deeper into her guilt.

"I don't want to talk to him, either. I don't trust him at all, but…it's complicated. I can't explain it, because I don't even understand it, but…I want to talk to him."

"He used you to get to Chuck, and he used Chuck to get you. He made up some elaborate plan to get you. I don't think it's wise for you to see him."

"I know I should be furious with him. I should feel like I want to kill him. I do, I do want to murder him, but…part of me…I don't know…I don't really want to help him, but…I think he can help me. I know it sounds strange…"

"I wish I could be in your head right now, to know your thought process. I wish I could understand why you're willing to reach out to you enemy."

"Nate, being inside my head wouldn't help because I don't even comprehend my own thought process. It's like being a scientist that inventing a new chemical and not know how to explain it to anyone else because you don't even know how to explain it to yourself."

"Wow…that was a good analogy. Why do you hide your poetry again?" he asked as a joke, but he really did wonder why she never told anyone that she wrote poetry. He actually liked that she wrote poetry. It was a part of her that he wanted to know more. A part of himself that he wished he had buried and hidden away from everyone only to have Katrina to discover.

"I don't know…I guess I would hate it if anyone know about it because…I guess that was the one thing I pour my heart into and for anyone to attack it would be like attacking my children or something." she said and Nate felt as if they were living in two different worlds. The one he was in, and the one he in which he wanted to join Katrina.

"Katrina…you should never hide the fact that you write poetry out of fear. I think that's the most beautiful thing about you. I just wish I could be more like you."

"You are…you just don't see it yet. But, I see it. I see it in the way you care about your mother, the way you care about Chuck, even if I don't understand it and can't stand it, and I see it in the way you care about me." she said a she leaned over the table and kissed him. "You're a good guy, Nate. Whether you believe it or not." she said knowing that it was true. But, as good as he may be…he still wouldn't like her talking to Jason after what he did.