I just want to say that you readers are amazing! I get more and more comments with each chapter and I don't think I ever want to stop writing this. I have so much planned for this story! Todays chapter is extra long and full of revelations as a thank you to you all for taking the time to review!

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Dear Diary

Everything has just gone to hell, it really has! I know Arthurs secret I know it and I wish I didn't. Not only that, but I have, as the prophecy foretold, been quite badly injured. I am in so much pain and I am so scared because Merlin is unconscious and cannot treat me until he awakens. And he's the only one that can. Arthur says he'll take a look at my wound, but I don't want him anywhere near me! Nowhere near me! I hate him, he is a coward and a liar and a cheat! I wish he was dead, I really do!

It all started this morning at the stream. I stripped down to my undergarments, after making sure that I was alone and started to bathe in the stream with a cloth. For a few minutes, all was well. But then I heard it. This rustling... and not the sort you associate with a bit of wind, but the sort you associate with someone walking through the trees. Someone was watching me. For a while I simply continued what I was doing, acting as though I hadn't heard a thing. I tried to tell myself that it was a trick of my mind and that it was the wind. I told myself I was being silly, and that I was scared simply because I was alone. For a while that calmed me down, but then the sounds changed. No longer could I hear a rustling... I could hear a grunting, and an odd sort of groaning. It was then that I was certain that I was being watched. I had no idea what to do. If I called for Arthur then the person watching me might attack and kill me before Arthur could even reach me! But then if I stayed still, the person watching me could attack anyway. I decided the safest option I had was to finish washing - still acting like I could hear nothing - then dress and return to Arthur and tell him about the person in the trees. I don't think I've ever dressed so swiftly!

Arthur and his men had just risen when I returned to camp, and so I had to tell a half-asleep Arthur about my fears twice before he got what I was saying.

"Arthur! Someone was watching me..." I whispered, not daring to raise my voice to much for fear that someone heard me. Arthur yawned and stretched.

"Hmm? Paige everyone is watching you, it's for your own safety," he mumbled sleepily. He stretched again and then sat up (Merlin was already by the fire! I suspect he awoke first and freaked out. Bless him; it must have been so awful for him, waking up in another man's arms – and Arthurs arms at that!).

"No, Arthur, I went to bathe in the stream before everyone woke up, but someone was watching me... I could hear all sorts of strange noises in the trees around me! Grunts and moans and things like that!" I cried, barely stopping to breath. Suddenly Arthur was on his feet, his sword drawn.

"Where did you bathe?" he asked. I pointed in the direction I'd come from and told him how to get to the place where I'd been. "Wait here," he whispered, stalking off into the trees all alone. I trembled the entire time he was gone, convinced that the person who had been watching me was about to jump up and kill me – despite the fact that all of Arthur's men, and Merlin sat only a few feet away! Luckily Arthur returned only minutes later. Unluckily he looked annoyed and pissed off. "There was no one there Paige!" he yelled at me once he re-entered the camp.

"Someone was watching me! I heard them!" I whimpered, desperate for him to believe me. I was certain I was being watched! No animal that I know off makes such strange groaning noises.

"Paige there was no one there... unless you are accusing one of my knights of watching you while you bathed?" It wasn't a sympathetic question, it was an enraged accusation. Arthur did not believe me!

"No! Yes! Well I don't know! Arthur, please believe me... someone was watching me!" I howled. I was sure the fear I was in must have been apparent on my face, and that, upon seeing this, Arthur would take me seriously. He didn't.

"I believe that you were stupid enough to go and bathe alone, and you got scared by the wind," Arthur threw his sword to the ground and turned his back on me as he began to dress. "You are not to go anywhere on your own again, do you hear me?" he called out to me. I nodded, and meekly agreed, ignoring the tears that had begun to fall from my eyes. "And don't you dare try and accuse my knights of such appalling behaviour ever again," Again I agreed, all the while wishing I could prove to him that someone had been watching me. I don't know if it was one of his men, or if it was a passer-by or what! All I know is that I was being watched while I was in the stream.

--

I didn't mention it again. In fact I didn't mention anything at all. Arthur was oblivious to my imposed silence, being at the head of the group and all, but Merlin picked up on it.

"Is there something wrong Paige? You haven't said a word to me all morning," Merlin questioned that afternoon as we neared the northern borders. I ignored his question, in fact ignored him completely. That was a hard thing to do! I hated ignoring him, and wanted him to comfort me and believe me but... I was scared he'd react the same way as Arthur. Instead I focussed on stroking Willow's neck. Merlin waited patiently for an answer for maybe a minute or two before he asked once again. "What's wrong sweetie?" he said. My heart raced a little – he called me sweetie! – and I felt myself blushing. Oh so typical of me!

"I'm fine Merlin, really," I assured him, still stroking Willows neck. Merlin sighed, making it obvious that he didn't believe me, but he didn't push it. In a way I was thankful, I didn't want to talk about what happened and I didn't want for Merlin not to believe me. But all the same, I just wanted someone to believe me! I was being watched at that stream and it terrified me!

--

Arthur stopped us a little over an hour later. He'd found a fresh trail that could well have been left by those organising the uprising. He asked Merlin to do a spell on the trail, a spell that would determine who left it. It had indeed been left by the organisers' of the uprising.

"Alright men! Merlin and I have determined that there are only 5 or 6 members of this uprising, and that they aren't very far away. Dismount and prepare," Arthur called out to his knights, dismounting his horse himself. I too, dismounted my horse, and like the others, tied her to a nearby tree. As I double checked my bindings, Arthur approached me. "Paige, you will be staying here with Merlin and Sir Lionel," he said sternly.

"What? Why?" I questioned, sounding somewhat annoyed. Although in a way I was relieved, I was terrified at the prospect of going into battle. Arthur rolled his eyes at me and folded his arms. Arse.

"After the way you acted this morning, I don't think I can trust you to behave yourself," he stated. "I can't guarantee your safety in the battlefield if you can get spooked by a little wind," he had a stupid little smirk on his face as he said that, and it made me feel so small and untrustworthy. Why the hell did he not believe that someone was watching me this morning? Why was he being such an arse?

"Why don't you believe me?" I cried desperately.

"I trust my men; I do not believe any of them capable of doing such a terrible thing,"

"So you don't trust me?" I cried, now offended. Arthur gave another roll of his eyes.

"It's not that I don't trust you, it's that I can't be running around worrying about you as well as myself," his words this time, were a little nicer, and I believed them to be true, but still, would he act this way if I hadn't gotten scared of the 'wind' this morning? I don't think so!

"Ok fine, whatever!" I moaned. "But why is Merlin staying with me? Surely you need him," I asked. The truth was I didn't really want to be left alone with him. I would want to talk to him and that would look stupid after I ignored him all morning. He would probably start to believe there was something wrong with me.

"This is an anti-magic's uprising, Merlin is a sorcerer. We want to try and reason with these people first. Attacking them is a last resort," Arthur said. I didn't really believe him to be honest, if they wanted to reason with these people then why bring so many weapons and all the best fighters? Arthur was prepared for attack, and not for reasoning. "You behave yourself ok? I don't want this prophecy getting fulfilled," I sighed and nodded.

"I'll behave," I promise. Arthur smiled and ruffled my hair. Argh, I've changed my mind about that then – I hated it and was going to tell him so when... well I was going to tell him at some point.

"Good girl, we shouldn't be long." Arthur said as he departed. His words further backed up my belief that he was here simply to attack, to eliminate the potential threat before it became exactly that – a threat.

Five minutes later, Merlin Sir Lionel and I set up camp as Arthur and the rest of his men followed the trail.

That's where things start to get blurry, hazy... I'll try my best to remember as much as possible but I'm drawing a blank for a lot of what happened in the next ten minutes.

Merlin, as usual, put up a magical barrier that would alarm us should anyone (not including Arthur and his men) came within a certain distance of us. Sir Lionel started to build a fire and I took an apple to Willow, my horse.

The fire got going quite quickly, I could smell it and hear it crackling away, so I wasn't surprised when Lionel came up behind me. I assumed he wanted to apologise for his rudeness yesterday morning. But all too soon his presence made me feel uncomfortable, made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

"I was right you know," he said, leaning against a tree behind me. I ignored him and continued feeding Willow. I really couldn't be bothered with him. "About you coming along... your much more trouble than you're worth,"

"Please leave me alone," I asked politely, turning to look at Lionel. I got the shock of my life however, when I realised he'd moved so that he was right behind me, so close we were almost touching. I shrieked and jumped, but he only laughed.

"Although having you along could have its use's..." he muttered into my ear. As he muttered he placed one hand on my shoulder, another on my hip. I shuddered at the contact, knowing in that instance that something wasn't right.

"Let me go," I demanded, not bothering with being polite. Lionel simply laughed, curled his fingers around my body that little bit tighter.

"And what are you going to do if I don't?" he snickered. I rolled my eyes and gave him a small shove, trying my best to stay calm and collected.

"I'll call for Merlin," I said in a matter of fact tone. "I'm sure he'll teach you a lesson," Again Lionel snickered and I felt a chill run up my spine.

"I promise you, Merlin won't hear your calls... in fact, I don't think he'll be hearing anything for a long time," Before I could even contemplate what Lionel was getting at, he'd grabbed me tight by the shoulders an d ducked down to my level so he could look me straight in the eye. "Look at me girl! Look at me!" I tried to look away, but he simply grabbed my face tight between his fingers and forced my gaze into his. "You will make yourself useful to me and you won't breathe a word of it to anyone, least of all Arthur... but then again, he didn't believe you this morning did he? I was watching you bathe and you knew it, but he refused to believe a thing you said! He doesn't trust you, and he'll never believe you over me! Never!" That's when the screams started. I could hear them, but somehow I was unaware that they were my own. I called for Merlin, again and again, but he didn't appear, didn't even call out to me.

"Let me go!" I pleaded with Lionel, despite knowing that my pleas were futile. Arthur and his men had long since gone and Merlin... I dreaded to think what Lionel must have done to him.

"As you wish," he snarled at me, pushing me to the ground below with as much force as he could muster. I felt an almighty pain in my head, and everything started to spin. I'd hit my head, hard. On what I don't know, but I did know my injury was quite bad – I could feel warm blood oozing down the back of my neck, and suddenly my world wouldn't stop moving, yet when I tried to move, to scream, my body failed to respond.

The next few minutes' are a complete mystery to me. I must have blacked out, for when I awoke my dress (The beautiful red one that Guinevere had made for me) was in tatters all around me, and I was in my undergarments, the bottoms of which had been ripped almost to the point of removal. Arthur had his sword at Lionel's throat – who had no weapon and was on his knee's – and was screaming at him, telling him something. His words were unclear but I knew he must have been talking about what Lionel had done to me. Again I tried to speak, but no words came. So I had to watch as Arthur continued to confront Lionel... had to watch as he slit his throat. I blacked out again after that.

--

When I came too – this time voice and mobility included – Arthur, Merlin and I were alone in a cave. Merlin was unconscious with a large gash on his forehead, and Arthur was tending to a fire.

"Arthur..." I mumbled. Arthur jumped and rushed to my side.

"Paige! Are you okay?" he cried as he felt my forehead. Up close I could see his puffy red eyes, his tear stained cheeks and his fearful expression.

"I hurt..." I mumbled. "My head..." Arthur nodded and at once took of his jacket and slipped it under my head. I felt much better with something soft against my wounds. "What happened...? I just remember... Lionel, pushed me down and then... then nothing..." I muttered. Arthur's eyes widened slightly and he ran his hands through his hair.

"Lionel... Lionel tried to rape you," I felt sick at once, started trembling.

"Tried?" I whispered, confused. Arthur nodded, chewed on his lip.

"My men and I... we got only a few minutes away when I felt this... feeling, there's no other word for it... I knew something was wrong, knew I had to come back. I sent my men on and returned to camp at once. I found Merlin first. Lionel had knocked him out from behind with a large branch. I knew at once that he must have been watching you this morning when you bathed, and that his intentions were to... were to kill or rape you. I could hear a struggle and rushed in the direction of the noise at once. I found... I found Lionel over you. He had a small dagger and had ripped your dress from your body... had moved the blade to your undergarments and was slowly cutting them free from your body. I called out to you...and that's when I realised you were unconscious too. There was blood... there was blood everywhere. Of course Lionel spotted me at that moment and ran at me. We fought and I disarmed him... he begged for his life but... but I slit his throat,"

"You killed your own knight?" I mumbled, shocked by his actions.

"After what he did to you he's lucky he got off so lightly!" Arthur growled. But then his expression softened. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you earlier Paige. I could have prevented this," Arthur started to cry but he furiously wiped his eyes in hope that I would not see.

"Even if you believed me... how would you have known that Lionel was the one to blame," I whispered, desperate to reassure Arthur. He nodded but did not say a word. "Where are your men?" I asked.

"Dead... they managed to kill those responsible for the uprising but... they were all fatally wounded in doing so," I struggled to think of something to say to Arthur – he looked so broken and lost – but failed to come up with anything. Instead, my mind was filled with the memory of Arthur killing Lionel... but this time, I could hear what was being said.

"How dare you lay you're hands on her! How dare you! She's just a child,"

"She begged for it Arthur... she's a promiscuous little thing," Lionel laughed, despite the blade at his throat.

"She's unconscious; she's bleeding from her head! You threw her to the ground and tore her clothes from her body!"

"What can I say, she likes it rough," Lionel started chocking almost at once – Arthur had pressed his blade right against the skin.

"How dare you talk about my daughter like that!" Lionel laughed.

"Your daughter? I think you've got a bid wrong in the head Sire, she's your ward not your daughter,"

"So we'd have you all believe! Leon married his wife when she was expecting, the child was not his! The woman in question was the daughter of one of my father's best friends... I slept with her after a lot of drink at a royal banquet. A month later she found out she was with child."

"I'm sure Paige would love to know that!"

"I assure you, you won't be the one to tell her..." And then Arthur slit his throat.

"Paige? Paige are you okay?" Arthur cried frantically, snapping me back to reality. I rubbed my eyes, and nodded at him. But then his words hit me... he was my father.

"Get away from me!" I screamed. Arthur looked shocked, bemused.

"Paige?" he whispered, reaching out to place a comforting hand on my shoulder. I backed away at once, despite the fact it made me dizzy.

"Don't touch me... don't!" I cried. "I heard what you said... what you said before you killed Lionel!" Arthur froze, his face paled. "Is it true?" I demanded. Arthur neither said, nor did anything. "Are you my father?" I screamed.

"Yes..." he whispered. "But Paige you have to –" I cut him off.

"No! No don't you dare! Just stay away from me! You liar, you coward!" I cried, backing right up into the corner of the cave. Arthur simply nodded at me and returned to his place by the fire. He's tried to talk to me a few times, and he hasn't stopped crying, but I don't care. I don't care at all! I hate him, I want him dead!

Paige.