Sorry there was no update yesterday, and that this one is only half a day. Have just come on and it's really made me feel terrible. I haven't stopped feeling sick/weak/in pain! ARGH someone knock me out for the next few days and make everything better... *sobs*

--

Dear Diary

It's only mid-afternoon and already today has been a disaster. I am meant to be attending a feast in my honour tonight, but I really am not up to going.

Arthur woke me up first thing this morning – it was still dark! Why, why wake me up when it's still dark! What's the point? Darkness is for sleeping, daylight is for waking!

"Paige, time to get up," He said as he walked through my door. I groaned and pulled the covers over my head, ignoring him. I was in no mood to talk to him! Not only was it way too early for me to be conscious, but I was still very annoyed at him. Last night was almost unforgivable. My real father had never laid a hand on me, never.

"Can't you knock," I groaned as I disappeared under the silk sheets. Arthur sighed and dragged the covers off me.

"I did knock," he insisted as he chucked my covers to the floor. "You were asleep, you obviously didn't hear me," I groaned and shuddered in the sudden cold. What the hell was he waking me up for at such an hour? "Now come on, up! Out of bed!" he continued, poking me in the shoulder.

"And why are you waking me at such an ungodly hour?" I asked, finally sitting up to pull on a warm robe.

"King Olaf will be here soon, and the others not long after, we have to greet them before the feast," he said. What feast? "And when I say we, I mean you and I, this is your feast after all," What feast! What the hell was he on about? And what did he mean by my feast... I didn't plan a feast! I wouldn't know how!

"And what feast would this be?" I ask as I sat at my mirror and started brushing my – now strawberry blond – hair. Arthur came over to me before he spoke, lifted a strand of my ever-lightening hair from my shoulder. He smiled as it glittered gold in the candlelight, just like his did. I ignored him and continued to brush it. Why wasn't he apologising for his behaviour at training? He was so rude, and he pushed me! Didn't he understand that I was mad and upset with him!

"I've already told you this, it's a feast in honour of your introduction into the court," he said with a roll of his eyes, letting go of my hair so that he could sit on the edge of my bed. When exactly had he told me about this? I think it's the sort of thing that I would have remembered.

"You didn't tell me," I said with a scowl. Arthur sighed.

"Well I've told you now," he said, as if that made up for it. Arse!

"Why do I need to be 'introduced' to the court anyway, what's the point?" I asked. It just seems like an excuse for Arthur and his knights to have a good time to me.

"Because until the official ceremony, you are only a guest in my castle, only after the ceremony will you be considered my ward. Only then can I name you my heir." Couldn't we just do that in private? I mean what's the point of all these other kings coming to the ceremony?

"Why do all these other Kings have to attend?" I asked with a sigh.

"Because they know you will be named as my heir, they need to be introduced to the future queen,"

"Right," I said expressionlessly. "Can you go now so I can dressed?" I just wanted him out of my room so that I could rant and rave, curse his name. I don't think he'd appreciate me doing that with him in the room.

"Of course," he said, seemingly oblivious to my annoyance with him. "Now there's a nice blue dress in your wardrobe, I think you should wear that. It will bring out the blue in your eyes," I frowned but didn't say anything. Right now I wasn't best pleased that I looked like Arthur, I didn't want to look like such a callous brute! "Your appearance is changing quite quickly," he continued. "You're looking more like me every day," He sounded like he was pleased. I certainly wasn't.

"Ok," I said. "Can you leave now?" And finally he catches on.

"What the hell is up with you recently," Arthur cried, standing up and folding his arms.

"You should know," I said, trying very hard to keep my voice calm and collected... the rage I felt however, came through.

"No Paige, tell me, what the hell have I done to make you act like such a child," Was he stupid or something? Did he really not know he had done to make me so pissed off with him?

"You had a go at me, for no reason! And then you pushed me to the ground after ordering me to my chambers! You treated me like a child when I am a young woman of 13!" I cried, shuddering at the memory. Arthur ignored my reaction and raised an eyebrow.

"You were being an immature little brat," he said, as if this were a valid reason for his appalling behaviour. Personally I don't think it was. I was not being immature! If anyone was being immature, it was Arthur. He is a grown man; he should be able to control his temper.

"No you were pissed off at me from the start!" I said truthfully. And he was! He'd snapped at me straight away.

"You weren't taking your training seriously," Just because I wasn't giving him 100% of my attention doesn't mean I don't take my training seriously. Can't I have my own personal problems? I can't just switch those off with a click of my fingers.

"I was! You just jumped at me every time I made a mistake," I raged. I took a deep breath to calm myself a little. Maybe if I admitted to doing wrong, then perhaps he would to. "Yeah I was a little late, and yes, I may have paid less attention then I should have, but you had no reason to treat me in such a way,"

"You're my daughter and I'll treat you as I like," Arthur said as if I was an object that he owned and could do with as he wished. It was like a slap in the face. For a start, I'd still not fully accepted that he was my father – at least not to his face. And second, even if I had, it didn't mean that I was his.

"I am not your property Arthur! You do not own me! No one does," I said vigorously. "I am not a possession, I am a person,"

"No, but while you are under my care, you will act and do as I say," He still sounded like he saw me as a possession and not a person!

"And why should I?" I demanded. What exactly could he do to me if I didn't?

"Because if you don't your punishment will be dire, now get dressed, get ready and get down to the banquet hall before I have to discipline you!" I rolled my eyes, sure that he was just bluffing. After all, what was he going to do, put me in the stocks?

"I don't care, I'm not going," I said firmly. I had made my decision. I wasn't going, and I was going back to bed as soon as Arthur left as well!

"I'm your father and I'm telling you, you are going!" Arthur roared. "If you do not go I will have your thrown in the cells, and you won't see the light of day for at least a week!"As much as I was willing to face such a punishment, I was not willing to argue with Arthur a second longer. I just wanted him out of my room so I could let out all the torment that I was holding in.

"Fine, I'll go! But know this, I don't have a father!" I screamed. I expected anger from Arthur, annoyance even. But he just laughed and said –

"Well I don't have a daughter!" Well at least we agree on something.

"Fine," I said as Arthur stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him in frustration.

I sobbed when Arthur left, curled up in a ball on my bed and just sobbed. I just couldn't take it. Why was Arthur being so mean to me? What had I done? I just wanted him to care about me and love me, but Arthur doesn't seem to want that! He just wants... well I don' know! But it certainly isn't me!

I noticed something as I dressed and washed my sore eyes – my eyes were grey again, not in the slightest bit blue. And my hair was back to its original colour. It was very strange, but I guessed it had a lot to do with my argument with Arthur. After all the changes in my appearance were down to magic's...

--

I stood next to Arthur with a forced smile on my face as King Olaf, his wife, daughter and an gathering of his men hurried up the steps towards us.

"Arthur! I haven't seen you in years... good god man, you have barely aged at all!" Olaf said as he embraced Arthur like a brother. Arthur laughed and returned the hold, patted the older man's back.

"I'm afraid I can't say the same for you!" he joked. "But you are looking good for your old age," Both men laughed once again, before turning their attention to me. "May I introduce my ward, Paige," Arthur said, holding out a hand to me all the while giving me a very significant look. He wanted me to behave myself and play the doting, loving ward. I sighed and smiled, allowed him to slip an arm round my shoulder. But it was not for his benefit – no, it was for my own. I don't want anyone going away with a false and negative opinion of me.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Olaf," I said with a curtsy. Olaf smiled at me, a horrible leering smile that send chills down my spine, and looked me up and down.

"And you my dear," he said before turning his attention back to Arthur. "Not a patch on my Jennifer is she?" he laughed, gesturing towards his daughter a slim girl with wide hips, big breasts and stunning blue eyes that completely contrasted with her beautiful red locks. She batted her eyelashes at Arthur, waved and giggled. Then shot me a foul look. I blushed and ducked my head at once, feeling disgusted with myself. I was ugly, nothing in comparison to this beauty. Why did Olaf have to point that out?

"Give her time, she's only 13," Arthur said with a grin as he ruffled my hair. I glared at him. He had basically agreed with Olaf and said that I was ugly! How could he? I wanted to slap him and walk off, but I was very aware of the fact that everyone was looking at me and so didn't move a muscle.

"You better hope so after, else you won't have a chance in hell of marrying her off," What! Marry me off? Was he serious? Was Arthur going to force me to marry someone? Who? And when? Oh god was that the real reason for this feast? I waited until Olaf and his entourage were inside before I said anything to Arthur.

"So that is the purpose of this feast, to marry me off to some prince I do not know?" I asked through gritted teeth as I glared at Arthur. He simply raised an eyebrow.

"No Paige, that is not the reason at all. Olaf is marring off his daughter, and expects me to do the same. I just go along with it to avoid an argument," Arthur said. Yes that's his excuse! Arthur is not the sort of man to lie like that to avoid an argument. And why would Olaf argue about such a thing! It's not like he has a son that he wants Arthur to marry me off to!

"Good! I promise you that if you did try and marry me off, you wouldn't be able to get me down the aisle! I'd much rather die than marry some stranger you'd forced me to spend the rest of my life with," I promised. Ok, while I wouldn't go as far as killing myself, I'd make damn sure that I disappeared and never returned.

"I would never do that to you! " Arthur insisted. Sure, just like you'd never hurt me!

"Sure," I said, folding my arms.

"You sound like you don't believe me," Arthur said sadly. I was surprised that he wasn't angry, but then we were in such a public place... he wouldn't want to risk his image now would he?

"I don't," I admitted.

"Believe what you will Paige," Arthur said. "But I promised I would be honest with you, and I am holding to that promise." I didn't answer; I simply turned my back on his and waited for the next King to arrive.

"What did you do to your hair?" Arthur asked after a minute or two of silence. He walked over to me and grasped a strand in his fingers, looked disappointed to see that it was no longer blond.

"I didn't do anything, it simply changed," I said honestly. Arthur frowned and allowed my hair to slip from his fingers. "It probably has something to do with Merlin's spell,"

"Yes..." said Arthur sadly. "I suppose it does,"

--

Not long after King Olaf arrived, King Johnson arrived with his son and a handful of his Knights. He and Arthur greeted each other in very much the same fashion as he and Olaf had greeted, and then again, they turned their attention to me.

"Bit young for my boy really, but then again, when has that stopped anyone before?" Johnson laughed as he gave me the same leering grin as Olaf did. I shuddered and gave Arthur a glare, which he ignored. It was because I was right; he was going to marry me off!

"It certainly didn't stop you marring your wife... how old were you when you married her? 27? 28?" Arthur questioned.

"28 yes, and she was 17," Johnson confirmed with a nod. "Now what say you boy? She up to your standards?" he asked his son, gesturing towards me. The boy simply shrugged his shoulders and sauntered into the castle, causing Johnson and Arthur to laugh. "Give him time!" Johnson laughed, to which Arthur agreed. I wanted to cry I really did. I was being paraded around like a whore! And for what? So Arthur could marry me off to some Kings son so that he could improve relations with that mans kingdom?

I didn't wait for any more Kings to arrive; I simply stormed off to my chambers the second that Johnson was out of sight. I didn't bother with confronting Arthur either – it was obvious now that he wanted to marry me off. If I argued, he would only continue to deny things.

Arthur, for some reason, didn't bother to follow me. However he did send a message up with one of his guards that I will be attending the feast, and he will be coming to get me. I'm not looking forward to it at all, and have contemplated running away – but Arthur has stationed a guard outside both my window and my door.

Paige...

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Not up to my usual standard I know, but please comment anyways because it is leading to something veryimportant!