Mamoru sighed as he stared at the people in front of him. Some stared at him belligerently, others with shame, and still others with outright fear. His eyes landed on the Senshi, Rei and Makoto were buffing their nails, looking unconcerned. Ami was holding her face in her hands, embarrassed to have been caught with her arms around Zoicite. Minako alternated between glaring at them and trying to fix her clothes as she fixed her position on the sofa. Mamoru then allowed himself to look at his Shitennou, and he winced at the sight. Nephrite's beautiful hair has effectively been burned, Jadeite was sporting a black eye and other various bruises, Zoicite with his coat shredded to bits, and Kunzite had his usually perfect hair mussed and a perfect shoeprint Nephrite's size on his uniform. His glance slid to his wife, who was twiddling her thumbs and looking everywhere at him.
"Usako?"
Twiddle. Twiddle.
"Usako?"
Twiddle. Twiddle. Twiddle.
"Usako!"
"What? I can hear you perfectly fine! I'm not deaf, you know!"
Fighting the urge to slap his forehead, he looked at Usagi. "You still haven't explained to me what happened, honey," putting emphasis on the last word, his teeth gritted.
"Er... Hehe... Funny story that..."
"I'm listening."
Usagi peered hopefully at her senshi, asking for silent help from the women who have pledged their lives to protect her. Rei and Makoto looked back as though they wanted to be the ones to kill her, Minako was studiously analyzing the icy floor, and even quiet Ami was looking anywhere but to her princess. Usagi sighed. Too much hope to ask for them to defend her from her husband. "Well... You see, I thought of giving the girls a chance at happiness, so what I did was I took the stones to give it to them, only I mixed up the stones so the girls ended up getting the wrong Shitennou, so they went here to talk to the right guys, only things didn't turn out that way because Rei tried to kill Nephrite and Jadeite, Makoto tried to electrocute Kunzite, Minako was being bullied by Zoicite while Ami tried to choke him and..."
Mamoru's eyes widened. He wasn't sure which astonished him more, the flow of events or the fact that he understood every word that Usagi said, never mind if she was babbling 70 words per second. "What?"
"Oh, I said that I thought of giving the girls a chance at happiness, so what I did was I took the stones to give it to them, only I mixed up the stones so the girls ended up getting the wrong Shitennou, so..."
"I heard what you said, only why?"
"Well, the girls have been unhappy," ("We are, too!") "And it didn't seem fair because you and I are so happy and they're not, so I thought of making things better for them."
"And you didn't tell me of your plan why?"
"Well, I thought for sure you wouldn't agree to it, and that's why I sneaked the stones out."
"And you thought I wouldn't notice that you took the stones even if I saw my former guardians walking around again?"
"Oh, well... Heh. I didn't think of that."
At this, Mamoru really did slap his forehead. "Usako, what am I going to with you?" He asked, shaking his head.
"You could hand her over to us," Rei muttered, as Makoto cracked her knuckles.
"Um, no, never mind," Mamoru said quickly, catching the puppy dog eyes his wife was giving him. "Look, I just need to talk to her for a while. Would you mind stepping out?" He requested, gesturing towards the door. The senshis' eyes narrowed.
"Please?" This time, it was Usagi who asked the question, even as she looked in fear at her husband.
The senshi and Shitennou looked at each other and immediately turned away. They might have the occasional impulse to kill their lieges, but they couldn't very well disobey them. "Fine."
"Oh, spend time with each other, 'kay?" Usagi added, her voice a little more cheerful.
The Senshi rolled their eyes. They knew Usagi knew about their inability to disobey her, and they also very well knew which "other" she was referring to. "Fine."
"And don't kill each other!"
The Senshi looked at each other, and then at the Shitennou, who instinctively quailed. "Drat."