"So McGee…… How was your week off? Feeling better? Anything you know….. good happen that I should know about?"
Abby smirked as Tim stood oblivious next to her in her lab. Abby wiggled her eyebrows furiously at Tim and he frowned at her curiously.
"Ahhhh well I was pretty sore at first but most of the bruising is starting to go away although I still have some pretty ugly colors from the worst ones. Kind of green and yellow now instead of purple and blue/black. During the day it was pretty boring and I felt tired so I ended up sleeping a lot. Perhaps it was the medication they gave me? I don't normally sleep so much during the day. Played some computer games, did some writing, went back to the doctors to get checked out again plus couple of trips to the Physiatrist to explore any unresolved issues, you know the deal. But it's good to be back."
Abby grinned "I'll bet you slept all day and you know all night?"
"Huh?" Tim looked up from the report he was reading and Abby sighed exasperated.
"Really McGee you do not know how to play this game at all."
"What game? Oh did I interrupt something you were playing?" Tim apologized and Abby rolled her eyes.
"McGee seriously for a smart guy you are pretty clueless sometimes do you know that?"
Tim instinctively pouted uncertain why Abby seemed to be picking on him when he had only come down to collect a ballistics report like she had asked him to.
"Ok let me lay it out for you. Are you listening to me?" Abby grabbed McGee's broad shoulders and turned him to face her and looking deep into his eyes.
"Wow McGee how much sex are you having?"
Abby stared in surprise at Tim's beautiful green eyes which appeared to have turned completely liquid. If she didn't know any better the color would slosh around in his eyes if she shook him. Tim blinked and then nervously started to back away from her.
"Oh no you don't, young man. Now you can't hide from me. You're not the only one flying the freak flag around here remember? Dream Walker? Ring any bells? I felt you both. Every night. All night. The reason you were sleeping during the day wasn't because of the mild medication you were on, it was because YOU Timothy McGee were physically exhausted from having wild hot sex with your totally hot vampire lover wasn't it McGee?"
Tim shuffled his feet nervously while Abby started him down with a smirk.
"Yes?" Tim squeaked
"Atta boy Timmy!" Abby laughed and leapt across to McGee giving him a big hug. Tim found himself blushing under Abby enthusiasm.
"I bet he's really good huh?" Abby whispered into his ear leering as she thought of the tall, so handsome he was beautiful immortal who leeched sex appeal like a pheromone.
"Abby! I'm not going to tell you that!" Tim was scandalized
"Oh don't go all prim Timmy! It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who gets tied up anymore! I have to live vicariously through you and your wild adventures."
Abby begged and clasped her hands in front of her pleading for juicy details and Tim found himself laughing.
"Besides I thought you insisted vampires don't have sex?"
Abby tried another tack hoping to draw McGee out. McGee loved nothing better than explaining things so if she could perhaps get him started?
Tim chewed on his lip wondering how to explain without…well explaining.
"We found a loop hole"
Abby just looked at him.
"A loop hole? That's all you going to give me? A loop hole? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
Tim smiled, picked up the report and waived farewell with his fingers.
Abby growled at him frustrated and then a big grin broke out across her face as she looked behind his shoulder.
"Tony! Make Timmy tell me all the good bits"
Tim backed around slowly to find Tony strolling into the lab.
"Hey Abbs! You got that report ready yet and I'm sorry but McGee doesn't have any good bits?"
Tony grinned his cheeky smile and then he looked at McGee closely who was backing slowly away and around Tony in an attempt for the door.
"Did you have sex McGee?" Tony asked suspiciously as he narrowed his eyes and studied his partner.
Abby crowed loudly "Yes! You see you can tell. It's written all over you. Your eyes they go all soft and mushy but I have never seen them like this. They're like ….like Caf Pow….but green."
Tim pulled a face at her description "What are you talking about? My eyes don't look like green Caf Pow. Do they? Tony?"
Tony looked at Tim intently sweeping him with his gaze up and down.
"Oh yeah you've had sex all right. And more than once if my expert eye does not deceive me. Which it never does" Tony smirked at his friend.
"Pheph" Tim made a disparaging sound "You cannot tell I have had sex just by looking at me"
"Oh yes I can. I don't know what methods Abby uses but I can tell from the way you are all loosy goosy. Your shoulders are all relaxed and even when you walk your all heyyyyyyy therrrrrrreeee instead of excuse me, out of my way, geek coming through."
Tony flopped his arms around as if he was the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz.
Tim narrowed his eyes at his two friends and folded his hands across his chest.
"Are you two done? Finished? Can we all get back to work now?"
Abby ignored him and sniggered to Tony
"It's his eyes. Once we spent an entire long weekend trying to figure out when Timmy's 'optimal' performance time was. Sex all different times, different positions. We even wrote up a program for it."
Tim blushed while Tony grinned "Really so that's what you mad scientists get up to when you're out of the lab?"
Tim tried to interrupt "Abby please don't say anything more. That was a long time ago. And its private I don't want Tony knowing…."
Abby continued blithely along ignoring Tim's anxious plea.
"Anyway if you're curious it's between 2.00-3.30am. But even after the entire three days his eyes were soft almost sloppy like unset jello. But now? Liquid. Completely liquid. You could pour them into a martini glass. So I'm telling you Tony there has been someone in the room having some serious sex and unfortunately its not me"
Tony sighed dramatically "And for the first time EVER it's not me either. So what's her name Probie?"
Tim squirmed and found a blush creeping up his neck while Abby nudged Tony hard in the ribs.
Tony's eyes grew wide "Oh no you're not saying you and the eternal undead did the horizontal mambo are you McGee??"
Abby grinned "Yup. At first all I could hear were Timmy's nightmares about the attack and the pain and…." She trailed off and looked at him sadly.
"Sorry about that by the way. I was about to come over and see if you needed some company as I could tell you weren't sleeping. Figured you might need someone to talk to. Someone who is accustomed to being a little different."
Abby let the comment hang in the air and Tim smiled softly at her. Abby would understand what it felt like to wonder just what was happening and what it meant to be different.
Then Tim's kindly feelings towards Abby vanished as she returned to Tony with a grin.
"And then I felt a different sort of crying out…if you know what I mean"
Tony screwed up his nose trying to imagine the fierce winged clawed creature he had first met on the roof and his gentle friend and partner having sex. Together. How did they even….??? Wait he didn't really want to know.
"Ok wait I thought you said that vampires couldn't have sex?" Tony looked at McGee curiously while he blushed and attempted a sentence.
"They found a loop hole!" Abby proclaimed delightedly.
"Right that's it! I'm leaving this lab and I will not continue to listen to you two discussing my sex life" Tim frowned and picking up the ballistics report headed out of the lab.
"Hey wait McGee! I forgot the real reason I asked you down here. I wanted to ask you and Dante to a party on Saturday night. Its fancy dress and well you know my crazy crowd they will think Dante is cool!"
Tim stopped and turned to look at Abby in surprise.
"You want to ask me and Dante. To a party?"
Abby smiled "Yeah it will be great. We can go as a Vampire Coven. You know three vampires together and then everyone will think Dante just has a really good make up artist or whatever. Please McGee? It would be so awesome. Great music. It's in this great old burlesque club they are going to tear down. Lots of red velvet, gold pillars and chandeliers. I was thinking that we could all wear tight black leather. Like a sort of uniform you know?"
Tim blinked thinking of Abby and Dante together in tight black leather. A handful certainly. Dangerous? Yes. Fun? Definitely.
"I'll think about it" Tim said trying to hide the smirk from his face.
"Oh thank you Timmy. Thank you! You won't regret it. It will be the best night ever!"
Abby gave Tim a big hug ignoring the fact he hadn't definitely said yes and Tim sighed rolling his eyes.
"Please just no more talking about my sex life ok?"
Abby saluted and grinned.
Tim turned and continued to walk out of the lab while Tony trailed along behind him.
"Shesh he doesn't want us to talk about his sex life when he doesn't have one and then he doesn't want us to talk about it when he does have one. What are we to do?"
Tony muttered quietly while Abby giggled. Tim ignored them both and attempted the high moral ground.
"Tony!" Gibbs called as they stepped off the elevator "What did you learn from Abby?"
"That McGee's peak sexual performance time is between 2.00-3.30am Boss."
Gibbs quirked an eyebrow and looked at Tony who grinned.
"Well you did ask Boss"
Tim continued to his desk and ground his teeth together until his jaw hurt.