This one is for Tina, who apparently gets up at 3.30am to read this! Now I feel bad for missing a few days... still, hope the next ones make up for it!

And for all my regular reviewers - Luff-Chan, LadyFromPoland, Catindahat, Kironomi, Merthurtilidie, Lalalala and new reader, Aurel, who read all current chapters in one go!

You guys rock, your comments really fuel the fire that helps me write, so keep it up!

--

Dear Diary

Merlin came rushing into my room almost as soon as I finished writing my last entry. He looked really excited about something.

"I've found a way to cure Arthur!" he cried, rushing into my room without knocking. I slammed this book shut with a grin. Hey my diary is private... especially the bits where I gush over Merlin. He does not need to see that!

"Really, what is it?" I asked, elated. I had wound myself into such a state worrying about Arthur, especially since I couldn't find Merlin to help him find a cure.

"Well the spell plays off Arthurs negative emotions... fear, unhappiness and mainly angry, as you've seen in the last few days. We need to make him feel as positive as possible to counteract the effects of the spell. In other words we need to make him very happy," Merlin said.

"Well that seems simple enough," I said. And it did. Plenty of things make Arthur happy. Merlin, eating, hunting, being a bully... take your pick, they all put a smile on his face!

"Well yes, apart from the fact that we don't know what will make him completely happy" Merlin paused and got a weird grin on his lips, then giggled just a little. "Oh and before you even suggest it, we had sex last night, it's not that" What the hell is sex? What's he getting at? And why is it so funny?

"What's sex?" I questioned sounding genuinely bewildered. Merlin blushed quite considerable and shook his head.

"Never mind... ok, so think, what makes Arthur happy?" he scratched his head as he spoke, got a look of sheer concentration on his face. It was quite funny actually; his tongue was sticking out of his lips just a bit... like cats do.

"Killing things," I said after a moment. I was too busy trying not to laugh at Merlin's 'Concentration' face that I couldn't think of anything else. Merlin jumped at the sound of my voice, bit down on his tongue and cried out at the pain. I couldn't stop myself laughing this time.

"Yeah, I'll give you that one!" Merlin chuckled, but then he was serious. "But what else, think Paige, what makes Arthur happy?" So I thought, and for ages it was silent because I couldn't think of anything. I mean sure there were things that made him happy, but nothing that made him completely happy. There was a long silence before I spotted my sword and shield in the corner of my room (I wouldn't put them in the armoury... I wanted them with me just in case... Arthur wasn't too pleased about that, but he relented when I said it made me feel safe,) and that's when it came to me!

"When I was training with him, and he gave me the Pendragon family shield and sword... he said he'd never been happier," I cried. And I personally had never seen him as happy as when I asked him to put his last name next to mine.

"Yes, so you're the key... you make him happy," Merlin said merrily, yet at the same time, his face feel. He was the love of Arthur's life and he was not the person that made Arthur happiest. It must have been so crushing for him.

"You do as well," I insisted, placing a hand on his shoulder. He widened his smile and patted my hand.

"Yes but it's a different kind of happy with you, he's always been able to have me, no question's, but you... you were taken from him and he didn't think he'd ever get you back, and then he did and well... things got, complicated," I sighed in frustration. That made sense. Of course getting something you could always have would make you happier than something that was readily available. But things wouldn't have had to been so complicated if he'd told me the truth from the start!

"If he hadn't of lied to me, things wouldn't have been so complicated," I insisted, although not angrily. I was just making a point. It seemed like Arthur just didn't want to be happy!

"I know, I know!" Merlin promised, holding his hands up. "Look we only have a few hours left. We need to think... what could you do that would make Arthur completely happy?" I glanced out of the window as he spoke and noticed how high in the sky the sun was getting. I had to think, and think fast. Problem is as soon as I tried to think, my mind went blank.

"I... I don't know," I admitted sadly. I felt really bad admitting that I couldn't think of anything. In made me feel stupid and worthless. For once Arthur needed my help and I couldn't step up and give it to him.

"Argh this is so frustrating! Why can't curing this enchantment be as easy as the other one?" Merlin yelled after a considerable silence. His anger was different to Arthurs, where Arthur slammed his fist into things and yelled, Merlin balled up his fists and rubbed his temple with his knuckles, like he had a headache or something.

"The death one?"I questioned. Did he have a cure for that? If so what was it? Had he given it to Arthur? Was Arthur going to live if Johnson died?

"Yeah." Merlin said with a beam. I knew that meant he had found a cure, but I was still desperate for reassurance.

"Did you find a cure for that?" I asked. Merlin nodded.

"Yeah it's simple enough. A few herbs and some blessed water... but I can't make him drink it until this enchantment is lifted," I knew at once what his words meant. We had to get back to working out what would make Arthur happiest!

"So back to thinking then..." I said with a grimace. All this thinking was making my head hurt!

"Yeah..." Merlin said beaming at me. That beam reminded me of something... a conversation we'd had about Arthur a few days before...

"You said to me... the other day, that Arthur would be so pleased if I called him father," I cried joyfully. Arthur has said time and time again, that all he's ever wanted is his family... me. But right now I was just his ward; I wasn't his daughter because I hadn't accepted him as my father. Just as Arthur. I can't be his 'little girl' while I call him Arthur...

"You're right, he would be very pleased... ecstatic even," Merlin said, nodding at the thought of me telling Arthur that I thought of him as my father.

"It's worth a try," I said. Merlin jumped to his feet and headed to my door at once.

"Come on we have to find him," He said, tugging on the handle.

"We have hours!" I said, confused. A look out of the window told me it was mid-morning. Why the urgency? We had until noon!

"But what if it doesn't work?" Merlin cried. "Come one we have to find him!" I raced after Merlin without another thought.

--

"Paige you have to go in there by yourself, this has to be a private moment between you and Arthur," Merlin said. We were stood outside the banquet hall doors, where Arthur sat alone eating breakfast and going over a piece of paper. The treaty about my 'marriage' I'd bet. I trembled slightly at Merlin's words. I didn't want to admit it but right now, Arthur scared me. So little set him off into an uncontrollable rage. What if I didn't make him happy? What if I just set him off again?

"What if it doesn't work?" I whispered, hiding my real fears behind a fear that both Merlin and I shared. However Merlin was a little more observant that I'd realised, and he picked up on what was really making me scared to go and face Arthur.

"It'll be ok Paige I promise... this is what he wants. You, his daughter, as that and nothing else. Nothing else would matter to him if he just had you," he assured me. "And if not, I'll come and save you, okay?" Damn why does Merlin have a way of talking me into doing things that I don't want to do?

"Okay," I said with a sigh and a nod. "But only because I know you'll be able to jump in if Arthur gets too mad," Merlin beamed at me and pushed me towards the door. "Hey!" I cried, but I smiled. I couldn't ever stay too mad at Merlin. Not when he flashed me that goofy grin of his. (Something I have gotten from Arthur I'm sure!)

"I'm going, I'm going!" I insisted, pushing the door open as I did so. Arthur looked up at once, and when he caught sight of me, he let the paper in his hand drop.

"Morning Paige," he said solemnly, not anywhere near the usual cheery way he greeted me. To be honest that unnerved me a little. As much as I hate to admit it, I liked it when he seemed so pleased to see me, despite seeing me the night, or indeed the hour, before.

"Good morning Arthur," I said cheerily as I sat down and grabbed an apple. I couldn't let on that I knew about the marriage thing, it would only end up in an argument.

"You're in a good mood," he said suspiciously. What was I not allowed to be in a good mood now? "I'm guessing you are no longer mad at me," I beamed at him.

"Oh no, I was never really mad. Like Merlin said, he let me have some mead," I said with a roll of my eyes. I hated lying, especially if it dropped Merlin in hot water, but right now we had more important things to worry about!

"Hmmmm..." Arthur said, like he still didn't believe that I'd been at the mead. And then there was silence. I knew what I had to say to break it, but I just couldn't find the strength to say the words. While I was now seeing Arthur as more of a father figure, I wondered if I was betraying the man who raised me in doing so. But when Arthur broke the silence, I knew what I had to do. "I have to go and prepare for some things," he said as he rose from the table and headed towards the door. I panicked and leapt to my feet, called out after him.

"Arthur wait!" I cried desperately. Arthur stopped and turned round, a scowl on his face.

"What Paige? I'm running behind as it is," he grumbled, scowl still on his lips. I gulped back all the fear, nervous and doubts I had about saying what had to be said, and just said it.

"I just wanted you to know... that... that I... I see you as my father... and that... that I love you," I spoke so quickly, with my words stumbling over one another, that I didn't think that Arthur heard me. It didn't help that he just stood there for a few seconds, totally still, scowl still on his face. "You're my father, and I love you," I repeated, slowly and carefully, making sure that Arthur heard every word. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, the anger in Arthur's eyes melted away, as did the foul expression on his face. It was replaced by the meekest of smiles.

"You really think of me like that?" he asked, looking unsure. I smiled and nodded.

"Of course father," I whispered. And that's when Arthur ran at me. He pulled me into his arms and span me round and round until I started squealing and complaining that I felt sick. I clung to him and buried my face in the crook of his neck, and we just held each other for what felt like hours. Arthur whispered to me again and again that he loved me and that I was his little girl. I wanted to say something back, but I found that yet again my throat was closed up due to the sheer intensity of emotions that I felt.

--

"So I was enchanted," Arthur said. It was a little over half an hour later, and me and Merlin had been filling him in. (His reaction to the explanation of the changes in my hair colour was 'Good, now I can tell when you're pissed off with me, and when you love me!" My hair darkened when he said that, which only made him laugh more!) "It makes sense... Johnsons Kingdom is falling. They have no money, little food, his people are dying," he said deep in thought. That explained even more so, why Johnson would try and mess with Arthur. He must be pretty desperate.

"What are you going to do?" Merlin asked. What was he on about? Wasn't Arthur just going to kill him? There was no way he was just going to let him walk out of here, right?

"Well, I'm not too sure, we could let him go in peace... his Kingdom has months left, if that. Or we could go to war. He has so very little, it will be an easy victory, but I want peace, not war," Arthur insisted. He sounded so torn. I think that if he could have it his way, he would just kill Johnson and leave it at that, but he couldn't. It would risk so much.

"Yet you are still very annoyed with him over what he intended to do to Paige," Merlin questioned. Arthur gave him a slap round the back of the head.

"Yes! Merlin you idiot he was trying to marry off Paige to his despicable son!" He cried out.

"I think you should just let him leave. After all like you said, his Kingdom will fall in a matter of months. Let him go back to his Kingdom and watch it fall from the inside out. It is more than he deserves," I said. Merlin and Arthur stared at me for a few seconds, both of them seemed to be in a state of shock. I wanted to giggle, but this was a serious matter. This was what I would do if I was Arthur.

"See, this is why she'll be a good queen..." Arthur said after a minute, a proud smile on his face.

I'm not 100% sure what happened between Arthur and Johnson at noon, all I know is he took Merlin with him and said a lot of angry loud words, threatened things and refused flat out to sign anything. Then he gave Johnson an option, he could leave in peace (and never be welcomed back to Camelot even if he was dying of starvation,) or he could stay and risk a war that he could not afford. He left, taking William with him. I watched from my window as they rode towards the gates of Camelot without a backward glance. Pity, I wanted to give them a cheery wave as they departed! They did not look happy!

--

Arthur came into my room after dinner, holding a wooden box, with a smile on his face.

"I haven't looked in here in almost 10 years," he said as he paced it on my bed. I jumped up and sat next to him, suddenly eager to see what was inside. "When you were a baby, I kept little things of yours... a blanket, your first dress... things like that," he said opening the box. He looked nervous as he opened it, almost scared. It registered with me that the last time he must have looked in the box was after I was taken from him. He must be fearful that opening the box would drag up unwanted memories.

"Why did you keep these things?" I asked as he pulled out the tiniest little white dress. He beamed at me.

"Because I wanted to remember every moment I ever had with you," he said. "Not sure this will fit you know," he teased as he held the little dress against me. "You've gotten a lot fatter since then," The little dress in his hands was meant for a baby, not a teenager! And I am not fat! Well, not since I started looking like Arthur... it looks more like muscle than fat...

"Hey" I protested, playfully swinging at him. Arthur chuckled and blocked the swings with ease. Damn him! Next time I shall hit him harder!

"Okay okay, I take it back!" he promised. I stopped at once and looked to the box once again.

"What else have you got in there?" I asked as he sifted through many little dresses and blankets. He pulled out a little wooden horse. It was a beautiful little thing, if simple. I knew Arthur was not craftsman... he obviously either took months making this, or had help from Merlin. Most likely, both.

"This," he said holding it up. "I made this for you for your 1st birthday... took me months' mind you, but I did it all by myself," I laughed at this, raised an eyebrow.

"Did Merlin help?" I asked. Arthur blushed.

"Only a little..." he admitted sheepishly. I laughed again and shook my head, then turned my attention to the box once again. Arthur pulled out a little glass vial of blond hairs.

"Oh and this, this is a lock of your hair from when you were a newborn," he said proudly, holding it up to the candle light so that it glowed gold like his did. My hair really was blond when I was born!

"Hey, it is blond..." I said, sounding way too surprised. Arthur pretended to look offended,

"Of course it is! You didn't look like Leon until you were almost three..." he went quite then, trailed off. That was when Uther found out about me, when they had to change my appearance to try and throw Uther off. All in vain...

"What are these?" I said, trying to distract Arthur from his painful memories. In the bottom of the box I had found a stack of beautifully painted pictures. Portraits of Arthur holding a baby - me. As the pictures progressed, the baby grew and grew until suddenly... suddenly they stopped and it was just blank paper.

"Oh those... portraits," he said, taking them from me to marvel at them. He stared at them intently, a smile firmly planted on his lips.

"Don't you have to sit very still for a very long time for portraits? There are portraits of you holding me when I was a baby.... I doubt I would have been very still." I questioned. I had personally never sat for a portrait before, but Leon had once, and he used to tell me tales of falling asleep sitting up because it took so long! There was no way a baby would be still for so long, not even in sleep...

"The advantages of having a sorcerer for your lover and best friend," Arthur smirked. Ah, of course, Merlin.

"Merlin did these?" I asked, quite impressed. They were so detailed and well done, so realistic... he'd done a fantastic job. It's things like this that make me wish that I was born with magic's.

"With magic yes, he took paper and paints with him, asked me to pose with you then... his mind just did all the work, in less than a minute." Arthur said, chuckling slightly at the memory. "I was so pleased with them..."

"Wow that's insane... I never knew he could do things like that," I said. I knew he could do impressive things... make things collapse for no reason, raise up fire, make people invisible, but this... this was on a different scale. Arthur however, wasn't listening. He was too drawn in looking at the portraits.

"This one here... Merlin did that one right after you were born," he said holding up one of him holding a very small, very pink baby that was quite obviously screaming. Yet despite all this, Arthurs eyes glowed with love and happiness, and the grin on his face almost disappeared into his hair.

"Is that why I'm pink and screaming," I said with a grimace. Argh I looked so horrible as a baby!

"Yeah," Arthur said, pride oozing from him. Why just... why! Couldn't I have been cuter than that?

"You look happy though," I commented, referring to Arthur in the picture. Arthur nodded and slipped an arm round my shoulder.

"I was very, very happy. The moment you were born... it is and always will be, the happiest moment of my life," he said. He left not long after that, taking his treasured box with him. The only thing he left was the little wooden horse, which I proudly put on my desk next to my ink well.

Paige xxxx